Time may past but the memory and the scars of yesterday remains intact. Nothing is easy when your heart lost its pieces.

DWIGHT POV.

Almost 5 months had past but xenia where still laying in the hospital bed bloody lifeless. Someone hit her head that brings a lot of complications she have a lot of scars but I take care of her I always put something that can cure her scars when I am away my mom do it for me and for her.

The drugs injected to her adds a complication in her situation but they where all doing their best to cure her.

I am now away from Philippines since there is a biggest deal abroad later is the biggest deal I need to close. I also bring jeon with me when I was away yaya minda where the one who was taking care of him.

Jeon helps me a lot to at least smile and forget all the pains but I was still hoping that xenia will wake up. I was hoping that she never feel tired fighting to be alive.

As soon as I finish and close the deal I go home and jeons laugh greet me when he see me. as I carry him he hug me tightly and started to hit my face when it creates a thud he laugh so hard. I cant help but smile at him he always makes my heart fill with joy. My phone started ringing on my pocket I answer it the moment I see my moms name appearing on the screen.

There is a little noise in the background my mom looks out of breath mom what is it I ask her sensing that something is wrong. I hear her cries that makes my whole body alert, mom what’s wrong can you please tell me what’s wrong. Xenia her body is not responding, the machine wasn’t working on her anymore Dwight she said, and her cries intensified.

I give jeon to yaya minda telling her that I just need some air I go to my room and ask my mom once again. Mom she’s alive right maybe it was just a pulse alarm, mom please tell me she’s alive I said to her I can’t even recognize my own voice from the grogginess. SHE’S DEAD SON the only words that shattered my whole life.

I throw my phone and it broke into pieces, I throw everything that I see I even punch the wall that makes my fist to blood.

I can’t feel anything I am numb this physical pain is nothing compare to what my heart feels right now.

Why it needs to be her no this wasn’t happening this was just a mere joke she can’t die I shout out of my lungs while hot and continuous tears fall from my eyes. Cries of pain agony and sorrow scape from my mouth this wasn’t happening I keep on saying to myself not agreeing to the fact that she’s really dead.

The woman who change me, the woman who teach me how to love again, the woman who always forgive me from everything I did to her. She’s the only woman who show kindness even if I did a horrible things to her. I can’t even imagine that the woman I love will going to leave me broken. I can’t control my tears anymore I let it fall not carrying if I look like a broken man.

Along the flight I’m not speaking I feel like I am away from this world, yaya minda carry jeon thinking that I cant take care of him in my state. I don’t know if I still can stand seeing her lying with her white dress, eyes close, lying there lifeless.

For a moment I want to shutdown I want to breath thinking that the pain might lessen. The dumbness is killing me the pain is unbearable I feel lifeless my heart is dead.

The travel to go home cost one day but I can’t even feel that the day was end. I decided to let yaya minda and jeon go home telling them that I want some space for now. I decided to stay in my private resort for two days to earn enough courage to see her. I shut down all of my belongings my phone my social media accounts. I buy this private resort for her but then I am also here because of her.

The waves of the sea the voice of the birds become my lullaby this peaceful place console the pain in my chest. I want to shout but there is no voice coming out I drown myself with a lot of alcohol hoping that the pain might gone but it wasn’t.

Two days had past and that days where like eternity without her, after drowning myself sulking with pain and own misery I decided to see her. I decided to face the reality I decided to accept that there is no such real happiness for me. Life is too playful that it hits me harder and here I am now accepting the reality that serve for me.