《StateHuman Stories (and Oneshots)》Home Alone
Advertisement
Today Ame had some stuff to do so he left me, 'Tana, Penny, Texas, Dela, 'Diana, Lou, Virginia and West, Yorkie, Jersey, Massy, Cali, Rhode, and the triplets home alone.
Big mistake, right off the bat.
"No, Jersey, you can't cut Virginia's braids off while she sleeps. "
"Come on Delaaaaa, just once?"
"Do you realize how angry Dad would be?!?" Louisiana piped up from across the room.
"Well yea', sure." New Jersey shrugged, lighting another cigarette.
Delaware sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Just then, the front door flung open to reveal a terrified Rhode Island and a hysterically laughing Texas.
"HE- HE SET THE DOG ON FIRE!"
At that, Texas started laughing even harder, which I didn't even think was possible. Virginia jerked up from where she was sleeping and whipped around, hitting me right across the face with her obnoxiously long braids. She groaned and whispered something to West, and he made a face that looked somewhere between him trying to sneeze, and him trying to swallow a frog. I'm going to guess that whatever 'Ginny said must've been funny. Man, good ol' Florida is always left out on the jokes, rude much.
"Y'ALL SHOULDA SEEN IT, I WAS LIKE 'WHOOSH' AND HE WAS LIKE 'NOOOO' and then everyone was like 'AAAHH' " Texas shouted, struggling to stop laughing. Then he flopped down on the carpet right in the middle of the room, took off his hat, and put it on top of his face. I never understood why he does that, but I've just been going along with it. I don't wanna call her out and risk being his next target. I value my life, thank you very much.
I looked over to the other couch and Georgia and I exchanged an amused glance. Texas has a big thing for fire. He's kind of a pyromaniac. Anything within his reach is bound to either be shot with one of his 16 bajillion guns or go up in flames within the next minute or so. Sometimes both, if he's in a good mood. This wasn't the first time that poor Liberty, our pit bull, had been a victim of this cruel fate. Once, Georgie and I had to hose both her and the whole yard down because her tail caught on fire as she was running around outside.
Advertisement
Massachusetts shook his head and stood up from where him and New York were busy playing some kind of card game. He threw his cards down on the carpet and brushed off his pants, before turning toward everyone in the room.
"Well then, I'm gonna go help the damn dog, don't anyone die while I'm gone. Help would be appreciated." And with that, he was out the door. Being the most reasonable states of the group, Delaware and York followed right after him.
"Ohohoh wait, guys..." Texas said, a smirk crossing his face.
"What is i-" Mississippi started, but paused when he looked over to where Texas laid sprawled out on the carpet
"Oh god Tex, don't give me that look. What could you possibly be planning now...?"
Texas giggled, sat up, and looked around the room. New Jersey was smoking over by the door, Georgia and Alabama were watching videos on Alabama's phone, Mississippi was snacking on the couch, Louisiana was off over in the kitchen making some kind of soup, Florida was half asleep, staring out the window, Virginia and West were bickering about who-knows-what, as per usual, Cali was painting her nails, and everyone else was watching TV. Mass, New York, and Delaware were still outside with Liberty.
Texas giggled a little before catching himself. Oh, how he loved mischief.
"Now that everyone sane is gone, why don't we have a little bit of fun?" I grinned.
Cali set down her bottle of rose gold nail polish and blew on her nails. Then she looked up at me, an intrigued look on her face.
"Whatever it is, I'm in. I'm bored out of my mind." She replied nonchalantly.
I leaned back a little and ran my fingers through my dirty auburn-colored hair. There were so many things we could do. We could burn things, which is always fun, but Dad hates when we mess with fire. We could shoot things, but we'd probably get in trouble, which isn't anything new but that would be the fourth time today. I always have fun shooting stuff, but sometimes stuff goes wrong, like that one time I shot Mexico right in the leg because I kinda sorta maybe thought he was a bird. Poor guy was in the hospital for so long. But hey, I mean it's not my fault he looks like a giant bird man!
Advertisement
Wait...
That gives me an idea...
As we finished hosing off Liberty, who, by the way, looked absolutely traumatized, but luckily not on fire anymore, a very concerning amount of laughter began to come from the house. I glanced over at Mass and York, and we all shared an expression of pure fear.
"Should we go check on them...?" New York asked, lowering the garden hose onto the grass, where it continued to run water, which soaked into the ground. Great, now there's freaking mud everywhere.
"Definitely." Mass and I said in unison.
As the three of us walked closer to the front door, the sounds of pure chaos just got louder and louder. Eventually, we were standing on the doorstep looking back and forth to each other, trying to silently figure out who was going to be the unlucky one to open the door and unleash pure havoc.
"I vote the oldest to go first." New York said with a shrug.
"I second that." Mass replied and shifted his gaze over to me.
I sighed. I wasn't going to argue, I stand no chance against those two. I shook my head and grabbed the doorknob, then slowly pulled it open to reveal the madness that had been going on while we were gone.
Well, to put it short, it was not what we expected.
Advertisement
- In Serial38 Chapters
Mana Anxiety
James had always had issues with people, that's what happens when you have severe social anxiety. And then she gets a notification about some "System Integration". Fine. At least if she's going crazy it's just with code, she can deal with it. And it seems everyone is seeing things together. So maybe she's actually sane? But her social anxiety is enough to get her in trouble even here. She'll get through it. She'll just get stronger. Strong enough that she won't need to deal with anyone. Strong enough that she won't need to avoid people; they'll avoid her. Updates MWF 8AM PST
8 203 - In Serial106 Chapters
Legends of Balarel - A Leisurely LitRPG
Glenn Redwood has longed to become an Adventurer since he was a young boy, and has focused every waking moment on that goal since turning 14. Answering the challenge of the Gods of Balarel, he has fought Monsters, Leveled, and grown stronger. Yet the day before his 16th birthday, the day he will earn his dream or lose it forever ... the Gods have made a wager. And no mere mortal wishes to draw the attention of the Gods. ***** This is my crack at writing a leisurely LitRPG. My focus is more on telling interesting stories set in a world where people live under a MMORPG-like ruleset enforced by the Gods, and less on writing another story where the MC gets massive stat boosts every chapter before heading off to wreck the world. There will be plenty of blue tables (it’s LitRPG!) but my Adventurers are just starting out. This fic is about the journey, not the destination, so expect everyone to Level ... leisurely. Updates: M-T-W-Th. I’ll post 3000-4000 words a day, or 12000-15000 words a week. If this posting pace ends up being too much for me, I reserve the right to slow posts down a bit. Inspirations: Blessed Time (Royal Road) Is It Wrong To Try To Pick Up Girls In a Dungeon? (Anime) Trails in the Sky (JRPG Series) MC: My MC is a genuinely good person who’s both a talented warrior and tactically savvy. He prefers to solve problems without violence but will resort to force if necessary to protect his friends or innocent people. I’m tired of stories starring anti-hero MCs facing endless doom and gloom, so I wanted to write a nice guy with an adventurous spirit who helps people in a thriving fantasy world. That’s all.
8 90 - In Serial24 Chapters
Kaleidoscope
Mankind has been reduced to a shadow of its former self by the thing that lurks beyond the curtains. It is dying, but the ancients will not allow it, they will fight that which has never been beaten. In the ruins of the last human empire an abomination has been born. His name is Kael, the pampered child slave of a being that is more beast than man. His is a world of chains and broken dreams. But today all that will end, and the world he knows with it. However first, he must choose: embrace the creature within and become something not entirely Kael, something not "Kael" at all maybe, or die. This is not the reality you know. Here, everything changes, nothing ever stays the same. It is the infinite shift; Kaleidoscope Disclaimer: Cover art is not mine, if the artist wants me to remove it please contact me
8 235 - In Serial33 Chapters
RE:VIVAL
A world where everyone dies at the age of 25...A world where Gods exist among humans....A world where Magic is habitual.....Mortis, a common Adventurer is found to be guilty of belonging to an evil race named-- Darkel. He is led to believe that running is his only way to save his skin, but on that path lies a dreadful truth.A world where everyone dies at the age of 25 should or shouldn't exist?
8 185 - In Serial409 Chapters
Firebrand
Sing the story, bard, of the Firebrand. He, the youth who saved Morcaster from ruin. He, the warrior who defeated an empire. He, the archmage who crossed the Netherworld... The tale of Martel the mage, from his humble beginnings as a hapless novice at a magic school. Slow, character-focused and light-hearted progression fantasy. Updates Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Join the Lyceum on discord.
8 1596 - In Serial7 Chapters
Glam rock for life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
livin' the Glam life!
8 136

