FLASHBACK

"I'm done trying to understand you!"Arthit yelled as he threw a pillow at Kong. "I thought you said you'd always be there for me....so what is this? Why weren't you there?"Arthit continued. "Phi you knew damn well why I wasn't there. I did what you told me to do, you told me not to bother you anymore right? Do you think that was easy for me to do?!"Kong yelled back, he couldn't stand Arthit anymore. Arthit was changing, he wasn't the same Arthit he met 3 years ago. He changed ever since being able to transfer back from the procurement department back to production. He became so invested in his work he didn't have time for anything or anyone else, and Kong understood and respected that but he wasn't mad because Arthit didn't give him attention, he was mad because Arthit wasn't giving HIMSELF attention.

He'd skip 1,2 or sometimes all 3 meals to take care of work. He'd give up sleep and rest to take care of work. He'd given up his ENTIRE LIFE to take care of work. Kong wasn't against his boyfriend striving to be the best at his workplace but he needs to rest and give himself a break. "I know it wasn't easy, it wasn't easy for me too! But you should have atleast visited!"Arthit says,referring to when he had been brought to the hospital a week earlier. "You think I wasn't there? Who the hell did you think stayed with you all night, without sleep for 2 entire weeks just to make sure your ok? Who left you those cards and gifts that you saw on your table every morning? Who bought you the food you craved for the moment you craved for it? Who?"Kong says and Arthit was shocked, all this time he thought it was one of his friends

"I can't do this anymore....not with you"Kong says, he felt so unheard when Arthit was hurt. Arthit only thought about how he feels and what he thinks about the problem when it arises that he doesn't stop to ask Kong how he did. He doesn't communicate, he doesn't do anything. he shuts himself in his room and avoids any contact with the other. "Kong I'm sorry-"Arthit says and Kong groans, there he was again trying to fix everything with a sorry. "Sorry doesn't fix everything Arthit, never does and never will."Kong says,dropping to his knees on the ground with so much pain. "But because its you I try to make it work"Kong says, knowing even if it was his boyfriend's fault he couldnt stand seeing him cry.

"I caused you so much pain"Arthit says, realizing that it was entirely his fault. "No,P'Arthit stop lying"Kong says,watching Arthit fall to the ground on his knees as well. "You deserve so much better Kong"He continued. "No,no. Ofcourse not! You're the best thing that has ever happened to me"Kong says, hugging him but Arthit shook his head. "I'm sorry Kong, I just cant take this anymore. I'm....breaking up with you"Arthit says before standing up and preparing to leave but Kong held onto his foot. "No Arthit please dont do this! Don't leave me"Kong pleaded but Arthit left anyway, not looking back.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

"No!"Kong yelled as he woke up from another one of those nightmares he keeps on having. His brain kept replaying that scene in his head over and over again which drove him crazy. Its been 3 years since then, Kong was a professional photorgrapher now at the age of 24 right after he graduated college 3 years ago too. He checked the time and it was 5:45 pm, Bright had invited them for his birthday at his bar exactly 6:00 pm. He readied himself for the possibility of seeing Arthit again after 3 years as he took another shower. He wore a purple sweater with a print on it and denim pants with black shoes. He got out of his apartment and took his car to get to Fin Jung and arrived exactly 15 minutes later at 6:00 pm sharp.

He saw the table P'Bright was in but he couldn't see Arthit-he doesn't call him phi anymore as helost respect for him when they broke up 3 years ago. He hates to admit it but ina crowd full of people he knows, he always look for him first. "Aw, N'Khongpob! You've arrived!"P'Bright says and I nodded. "Happy Birthday P'Bright, heres my gift"Kong says,giving Bright a paperbag with what looked like coupons in it. "What are these?"Bright says and Kong laughed. "Let's check them out later"Kong says and bright laughed with him before bringing him to the table. "He's here!"Bright says and Kong sat on the only chair that was empty before looking around. "Arthit's in the bathroom, he'll come out any time now"Bright says,noticing Kong.

Meanwhile Arthit was stressing inside the bathroom. He'd finished his business a while ago but he was so scared to face his ex. He had heard Bright announce his arrival which made him more stressed. "Ok Arthit, just act natural"He tells himself before taking a deep breath and exitted. "Step 1, dont gasp when you see him"Arthit says as he finally exitted, but he looked up and the first thing he did was gasp. 'Step 1 failed' His consciousness told him as he continued walking over to his ex

"Hey Arthit"Kong greets and he awkwardly smiles before sitting on the chair his ex was in, it was funny as they were sitting intentionally far away from each other-as far as sitting on the same chair goes. "hey"He replies. "Ok, now that everyone's here can I see your gift now?"Bright says and Kong nodds with a beautiful smile Arthit still melted for, he'd missed him even if he was the one who walked away.Then Bright was heard "Coupons? For what?"He questioned. "It's from that one club you keep talking about, one of my bsketball player friend's friend works there every single Men's Night so he was able to pull a few strings and get it for me"Kong says and Bright beamed

"Really? 30 days all expenses paid?"Bright clarified and Kong nodded. "THANK YOU"he exclaimed a little too loudly as other costumers began complaining. "Remember its just for the club, if you want to take a girl home pay for it yourself "Kong reminded and Bright smiled. Arthit was curious as who this new "friend" could be, though its not like he was jealous or something. "Oho, who's this new friend of yours?" Toota teases him, asking Kong for him. It was just Kong and the former seniors as the rest were busy with their new lives and Kong's company was giving him 2 days off. Arthit knew so much, coincidentially- atleast he tells himself that.

"It's Thun Thunyakorn. Know him?"He says and everyone's eyes widened. Everyone knows THE Thun Thunyakorn , a rising star in the world of university basketball. "Do we know him? Who doesn't know him? He's hot, though he looks a little intimidating"Knot says and Kong chuckled. "Him? Yeah he does but he's a ball of pure sunshine. Kid's horrible at math but he's good at english"He says (Take Nanon's word for it). "I've worked with him during the photoshoot of his university and his promotion as he was given a scholarship at a law school"Kong explains.'He seems to know so much about this FRIEND'Arthit thinks to himself

"Anyway, how've you been?"Bright asked, Arthit wanted to know too. "Wait, Why is everything about me now? I thought it was your birthday?"Kong laughed, Arthit missed being the reason he laughed. "Well I'm fine, I'm a proffesional photographer at P'Prem's company"He started. "One of the best actually, he's worked with a lot of big models and modelling companies"Prem says and Kong laughed awkwardly. Arthit was beyond proud of everything Kong has achieved. "Have a girlfriend?"Toota asked, Arthit's breath hitches. "Well-"Kong was cut off when a voice was heard. "Kong!"She called out, yes it was a girl. Arthit noticed the unmistably happy smile on Kong's face

"P'Cat! When'd you arrive?"Kong says,rushing to hug the girl and lifted her up in the air before bringing her to a hug again. "Guess that answers my question"Toota says and Arthit suddenly became sad. 'No Arthit, you cant be sad. It was your decision you left, let him be happy with someone who deserves him'He tells himself. "Just now actually"Cat says. "Just now and you didn't bother to call me?"Kong pouted. "She's hot"Bright says and the rest of the guys had agreed. "I'm sorry ok? What do I have to do to make it up to you?"Cat says and Kong pointed to his cheek. "Attention seeking baby"She teases before kissing Kong's cheek, Arthit looked away as he couldn't take it.

"Are you here with someone?"He asked and Cat shook her head. "How about you join me and my friends? It's one of my senior's birthday"He offers,gesturing to our table. "Will it be ok with him though?"She says and Bright was already up on his feet and infront of her that second. "Ofcourse it is"Bright says,taking her hand and guiding her to the table as Kong just laughed. "Careful Bright, she's off limits"Toota reminds and Bright just laughs.Cat sat on the space between Arthit and Kong-who has no plans on detaching himself from the girl.

They talked for a while and they found out Cat was a ballet dancer at one of the schools in Germany, she met Kong on one of her recitals there as Kong was one of the chosen photographers. After about 15 minutes Cat glanced at her watch. "I can't stay long. I have to go back to Germany tommorow Kong. I just came by to get something from my friend since we were given a week off"She says,showing Kong an envelope. "Aw come on P'Cat, you just got here"Kong insisted but Cat simply laughed. "I'll be back before you know it whiney baby"She says, Arthit was trying to focus on something else rather than on the two of them but how could he, he sat on the same chair as them. Then his white filas were suddenly so intresting

"Ok fine, but you better call me when you arrive"Kong says and Cat nodded before standing up, hugging him one last time before leaving. "Your girlfriend's cute Kong"Knot says, the second Cat was out of sight. "What girlfriend?"Kong says and all the guys furrowed their eyebrows. "Wait she wasn't your girlfriend?"Prem clarifies, even Arthit was suddenly intrested in the conversation. "P'Cat? No ofcourse not, she's just a friend"Kong says. "A friend you seek a lot of attention and affection from?"Bright says sarcastically and Kong laughed. "I can't believe you thought she's my girlfriend. P'Cat's lesbian, I'm an attention seeking baby and she's an attention giving mommy. It's quite funny, the number of people who think she's my girlfriend. I'm just really comfortable and close to her, that's all"Kong says,not sparing Arthit a glance

He hadn't even looked at Arthit after the greeting earlier, he just feels like breaking down into tears when he sees him. 'Guess I haven't really moved on'Kong tells himself. "So I can have her then?"Bright says, frowning when Kong shook his head. "Nope, she has a girlfriend"Kong says, Arthit suddenly let out a sigh of relief. "What's with the sigh Arthit?"Prem says and Arthit shook his head. "I'm just a little tired"Arthit says, thankful everyone bought him. "How about a game of Truth or Drink?"Toota suddenly suggested and everyone else agreed, Arthit was forced to agree as well. "Ok, I'll spin"Bright says,spinning the bottle and it landed on Kong. "Arthit, you ask the question"Bright says and Arthit's eyes widened. What was he supposed to say? Then he thought of something he genuinely wanted to know

"So do you actually have a girlfriend?"He asked and Kong shook his head. "Nope, I just centered my focus on my work"He added and Arthit nodded, fighting the smile making its way to his face. The bottle was spun again and landed on Arthit. "How about you Arthit? Do you have anyone?"He asked back but Arthit also shook his head. "Same thing here, work stuff"He says. "Yeah, it's always been work with you"Kong says,remembering that it was the cause of their break-up. After a while it landed on Kong again. "Do you still love Arthit?"Knot asked, Arthit choked on his saliva as he glared at Knot.

Kong didn't answer and opted to take a shot instead. "Oh come on, I really wanted to know that one.Fine I'll let you think about it for a while"Toota says. When the bottle was spun it landed on Kong again. "Do you still want to get back with him though?"Knot continued, if looks could kill Knot would have been laying there lifeless already as Kong took another shot. Arthit himself wanted to know what Kong would answer, because he would definately have said yes to both questions

Unbeknownst to Arthit, Kong mentally answered the same thing to both questions- Yes. He didn't say it out loud as he was scared that the other may not feel the same. Now that it landed on Arthit, Knot asked the same question. "Do you want to get back with him? Or do you still love him?"Knot says. Arthit was going to stop lying to himself and tell them the truth, even if Kong doesn't feel the same anymore. "Yes"Arthit says. "Yes to which question?"Toota says. "You only get to ask one question, save it"Was all he says. Kong was happy that the other really did feel the same way. Just, what now?

When the bottle was spun it landed on Arthit again,"Ok, so yes to which question?"Toota repeats. Arthit debates wether to drink or tell the truth. "Both"He says,not looking at Kong as he was too scared of the other's reaction. He decided against drinking everytime a question was thrown at him as he was a lightweight and had begun feeling a little tipsy. "Kong, do you still love me?"He suddenly asked when he saw the bottle had landed on Kong. "Arthit, yo-you're drunk"Kong says. "No I'm not, I still love you. Would a drunk man say that?"He says,leaning onto Kong's shoulder.

"Yes, a drunk Arthit is saying that right now"Toota says, as amused as everyone else was. "Arthit, we need to get you home"Kong insisted but Arthit had already fallen asleep. "I'll bring him home P'Bright, thanks for the invitation and happy birthday again"Kong says as he lifts Arthit bridal style to his car. "Why the heck are you doing this Kong?"He asked himself as he slowly and gently placed the sleeping Arthit in the back of his car. "You're crazy"he tells himself before starting the car and driving to his room instead of Arthit's as he didn't know where it was. When they arrived, he carried the sleeping Arthit to his room.

Once they got inside, he gently placed Arthit on the bed before taking his shoes,socks and shirt off. "What are you doing Kong"He asks himself but he shakes his head. "I'm doing this as a friend and a junior, nothing else. Yes, that's right"He convinces himself. He gets into the shower himself and made chicken soup for dinner. He debated wether to wake him up or not. He needed to eat but he looked so ethereal sleeping, like it was the best sleep he's had in years.

Yes, after 3 years he's still head-over-heels for this man who voluntarily walked out of his life. He was still crazy for him and had kept his things so he'd be fine. "Arthit?"He says,shaking him awake as he needs to eat. "Arthit, wake up"Kong says but Arthit wouldn't budge. Kong groans before waking him up they way he used to, when they were together- Which was to blow in his ear. Later on Arthit groaned and woke up, Kong smiled. "Arthit, I know you're drunk but you need to eat"he says but Arthit refused to get up. "Please?"Kong says and even though he was drunk, Arthit still fell for those puppy eyes. "Fine"He groans before taking Kong's hand and letting him lead him to the kitchen. "Here,eat this"Kong says and Arthit began eating.

More sober now, Arthit finished eating. Arthit stood up to put the dishes away but he grabbed his hand. "Arthit, we need to talk"he says and he sat back down. "What is this about?"he asked, leaving the dishes on the table. "Can I ask you something?"Kong says and Arthit nodded. "Was it easy?"Kong says, holding back the tears threatening to fall down his tear duct. "Was what easy?"Arthit says, already guessing what the question was about but he was too scared that maybe he was getting things wrong."Leaving me. Staying all those cute stuff then just walking away like it was nothing. Like I was nothing"Kong says as his voice started to shake.

"Sometimes I get this urge to text or call you just to talk to you, and then I remember that you're a different person now, it's just sad because I missed you alot. So tell me, was it easy?"Kong says,letting the tears flow endlessly on his face. "No it wasn't. I was breaking myself down too when I walked away. You have no idea how much I was hurting myself too knowing that I was hurting you"Arthit answers.

"Even after 2 years I still dont know how to handle this. The whole break up thing. I don't see how someone can say they love you one day, and then break your heart the next"Kong admits, not caring if he was being way too honest. "Just because someone breaks up with you doesn't mean they don't love you. It may mean they love you more than you know, because they're saving you from an even worse heartbreak if you keep the relationship going. Breakups aren't meant to hurt you all the time, sometimes they're to save you"Arthit answers, also crying. He was fully sober now.

"You let me go Arthit, you didn't love me anymore"Kong says,breaking down. "No, Kong, I never stopped loving you. Just because I let you go doesn't mean I wanted to"Arthit justifies. "You have no idea how much it broke me, everytime my phone buzzed I hoped it's you missing me. Evertime someone tells me someone's looking for me I hoped it's you missing me. I hoped you missed me every damn time but I got nothing on you. I hoped that one day you look back at what we had, and regret every single thing you did to let it end.I miss the time when i actually meant something to you" Kong says, Arthit was so hurt to see him like this. He was used to seeing him the happy and carefree person he was.

"I wish I could hurt you the way you hurt me. But I know that even if I had the chance to, I wouldn't do it"

Arthit fell silent as he let the younger vent out everything he felt. "You have no idea how worthless you made me feel that day. I let you in Arthit, I fucking let you in and you comepletely destroyed me. But you know what destroyed me the most? You still make me smile even if you're the reason why I'm crying"Kong says as Arthit hugged him tightly. "You broke me P'Arthit"he says, letting the name flow from his mouth after how many years. "Kong, I'm sorry"was all Arthit could say."Doubting you has been the worst out of the things I've done in the past, and for you to be so mad at me, then I can admit that they are many. Yet, I want to believe that there is still the act of forgiveness engraved into your heart. Please accept my apology. I love you"Arthit confesses as he cradles Kong in his arm as both of them broke down into tears.

"Y-you still love me?"Kong asked,breaking away from the hug. "Always have and always will be. I'm sorry, I'm not asking you to forgive me now"Arthit says. 'No, Kong he hurt you. You've moved on right? Don't let him hurt you again' his conscience told him, but his timeless love for the older was surpassing it. "Please don't cry over me, I'm not worth it"Arthit says. "If you weren't worth it then I wouldn't be crying in the first place"Kong confessed, he didn't know where this conversation was going and he wasn't actually expecting it to go anywhere. "Kong I'm sorry. I have no excuse, I wanted to spare you from more pain"Arthit says.