Disclaimer:

This is just FanFiction so please expect that some scenes and characters will not match the original novel.

...

Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word. –George R.R. Martin

...

I spent my days recovering and adjusting. This time, Khun No keeps on bugging and following me, saying that we should watch movies together. Watching movies is fine but we watched five movies straight in one day! I can already feel my eyes hurting.

"Why did you meet him?"

"He told me to give this to Pete! Can't you see? It's not for me."

"What is that?"

"Foods."

As I am heading downstairs, I can subtlety hear Khun Kinn and Porsche whispering and arguing with each other.

"Good morning." I greeted the two.

"Pete!" Porsche said my name so I smiled at him.

Why does he look so nervous?

"Did you eat lunch yet?" Khun Kinn asked normally as he gestures that I should follow them to the dining area.

Without even a question, I walk behind them and sat on the chair with the circular table in front of us.

What is that smell? I sniffed the familiar fragrance of pepper and other spices that just reached my nose. I can feel my stomach starting to growl. Woah, the food in the plastic bag Porsche is holding probably have a tasty food.

"Here." Porsche placed the plastic bag on the table and push it gently near me. "That's for you."

Wondering, I pointed myself. Just for me?

I take a look at Khun Kinn who nodded. "I will get a plate of rice for you."

"I will get it myself Khun Kinn." I protested but Porsche stopped me.

While waiting for Khun Kinn, I opened the bag and found five containers of Southern Dishes. My eyes sparkle after seeing this.

"Finally!" I happily said and placed the plastic containers one by one on the table. "Where did you buy this?"

"Uhm...uhm...there." Porsche said in uncertainty.

"Ha?"

"On our way home, we saw a small restaurant selling that." Porsche answered and laugh nervously.

I didn't ask for more questions. I'm sure he doesn't know a lot of Southern dishes so he randomly bought them all.

I wanna thank the heavens and even hell when I saw that there are two servings of curry and sweet and sour pork. My gluttony has just awakened.

I do not have to eat all the healthy foods Khun No has been feeding me since I return. He said that I should gain more energy. The foods he gave me were all vegetables and anything that is green. Ugh. Sometimes, foods that is not good for the health taste better.

"Thank you." I thanked Khun Kinn when he arrived with a mountain of rice and a glass of water.

I couldn't even wait to taste it. The moment I felt the spiciness and burning sensation in my tongue, damn! That's it! Oh my heavens for this wonderful food.

"Thanks for buying this." I said as I take another bite of rice with curry.

"I think it's too spicy, Pete." Porsche face cannot be painted. It was filled with worry and hesitation while looking at me.

I proudly smiled at him. "This is just mild compared to what we have on the island. It's so good! Where did you buy this?"

I keep praising the food. Finally, something that will satisfy my stomach to the fullest. Woah. The way these curry was cooked is the same as what that bastard usually buy.

I don't want to think about it. Pete, let us focus to the food. Stop thinking about him and you might have another sin once again.

"How does it taste like?" Khunn Kinn wondered as peak at the container where another serving of sweet and sour pork was placed.

I giggled like a proud mother. It's time to tell them about the awesomeness of the Southern dishes. With too much excitement, I didn't have any chance to filter out the words that is in my mind.

"The food is really delicious." I said and scoop another mouthful of rice. "Finally a proper meal."

"Really?"

"Yes. Where did you get this? It's the same as what Vegas usually..." Fuck! "buy for me." I added almost whispering.

I hang my head down in shame and embarrassment. What's wrong with my mouth?

I only have two options this time, hoping that the floor will be wide open to swallow me or bury my head on this spicy curry.

The spoon is still on my mouth. Both Porsche and Khun Kinn also paused. Silence enveloped the three of us. When did I start being so talkative about it?

"Does he usually buy you food like this?" Porsche asked me but I still didn't have the courage to raise my head.

I wanted to forget about it but here I am, digging the memories once again.

"Khun Korn wants to talk to you Khun Kinn." I heard P'Chan arrived.

"I'll leave the two of you here." Khun Kinn said and left.

"Pete." Porsche sat at the seat beside me.

I lift my head and smiled at him. "Hm?"

"Vegas didn't starve you, right?"

I want to sew my mouth! Bullshit! Let me stab my mouth with this fork first.

I have avoided Porsche's question for a hundred of times since I came back here and rise from the dead. The only thing they knew is that Vegas locked me up and let me escape.

I filled my mouth with the food and just nodded.

I don't want to talk. My mouth is putting me in this situation. Can someone slap me? Never mind, I'll do it myself later.

Porsche sat nearer. "I know that you probably hate Vegas at this point but I am curious."

Still munching the food, I stare at him with the same curiosity. What does he mean?

"He didn't just torture you." Porsche said and his gaze was fixed on my neck.

"Porsche!" I shouted as I try my best to swallow my food. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Damn. If he has a crush on me then Khun Kinn will not hesitate to chop my whole body until no one can recognize me.

"That's not what I mean."

That's a relief. I didn't dream for my whole body to be chopped like a pig.

"When you came back after escaping, I saw something."

Porsche placed his index finger on my neck until to my chest. That's creepy! I removed his hands and continue eating.

"I clearly saw hickeys and bit marks on your neck and chest."

What the fuck! With my mouth filled with rice, I cough contagiously with what I heard. Even the rice went out from my nose. It hurts!

"Damn Pete! Are you dying?" He gave me the glass of water as he panicked.

Why didn't you ask me that when I was not eating? I wanna cry shit. My throat and nose hurts so bad.

Porsche caressed my back as I continue coughing.

"What?" I asked in shock and put down the spoon and fork.

I just want to enjoy my food.

"You did it right?" Porsche looked at me intently, waiting for a question. "Vegas... and you just had..."

I placed my hands on his mouth. Seriously, everybody wants to give me a heart attack. I want to collapsed on the floor or hit them one by one.

"Keep quiet."

If Arm and Pol heard this, they will surely tell Khun No about this after. I couldn't imagine their reaction if they found out. For the meantime, I want everybody to believe that I was just held as a captive and tortured physically- that's it.

"Pete, I know you don't want to talk about it but every time you're quiet, I couldn't help but to worry." Porsche placed his hand on my shoulder. "You keep smiling to cover your worries and forget about him. Doesn't it pain you?"

I paused when I heard that question for Porsche. I understand his concern as we treat each other like brothers.

To be honest, I suppressed all of the frustrations and sufferings I have. I don't want anyone to worry about me.

I'm afraid to tell them that it still hurts, not just the wound that they clearly see on my body. There are wounds that cannot be seen but were deep and hurts too much.

Smiling is the last resort I have. If I smile then maybe everybody will think that I am fine. I am one of the best bodyguards; I do not allow myself to be vulnerable in front of them. I have friends especially Khun No who depends on me.

What will happen if I am weak? Then, I am going to be a useless bodyguard.

"Did he force you?" Porsche asked.

I can already see his desperation to know about what happened.

"At first." I replied shortly.

There are times where I wanted to shout what I feel but not now. As long as I can handle the pain then I'll handle it on my own.

"At first? Wait..." Porsche seems to be surprised with what I told him.

"It was all forced at first, without any tenderness and care." I said continue mixing the rice. "Until... he became soft, he didn't force me to do it with him."

I gulped to swallow all the shame in my body.

"I just found my whole being surrendering on him." I stated.

I can feel Porsche's stare. This time, I felt good. At least, the burden is easier to carry after telling him that.

"That bastard." He cursed that I can only smile. "It is also obvious that Vegas feel something for you."

"Hm..."

"Pete. If you're into each other, why didn't you choose him?"

With his question, I looked at him. His face is soft but his eyes have a hint of annoyance.

Well, the thing between Vegas and I is complicated that I, myself cannot explain it.

"Porsche, can you help me here?" Khun Kinn arrived.

"Later!" Porsche shouted. "I'm talking to Pete!"

"Hurry up! Help me!"

Before these two fight again, I push Porsche and told him to follow Khun Kinn.

"Let's talk next time." I told with a smile, assuring him that it's okay. "Thank you for the food!"

Porsche still hesitate to follow Khun Kinn but I already told him to leave.

When Porsche left, I lay my back on the chair, rest my elbow on my chest as I stare to the wounds I have on my wrist.

The bruises were darkened, the wounds are slowly healing. I caress it. I can still feel the chains on it.

I hope pain is just like these wounds where it can be heal by any ointments and proper medication.

I once thought that loosing contact with Vegas is the best decision. I don't need to see him or meet him. But here I am, how can I forget someone whom I already know even his shadow?

My mind fooled me that time indeed heals everything and I will be okay after several weeks. But the moment Porsche open up again, it made me realize that the wounds are still here.

Pain never left me... I just got used to it.

It still bleeds.

I love him, I really do but no matter how strong we are, we cannot embrace a beautiful rose without getting hurt by its thorns. And that is the love I felt towards him.

He's both love and pain.

I tried my best to distract myself. I followed every Khun No's request. We watch dramas, series, movies in Thai, Korean and English language. I will be a multilingual in no time.

I helped Arm and Pol in babysitting Khun No. Sometimes, I will assist Khun Kinn and Khun Kim with the assignments Khun Korn has given them. Porsche on the other hand keeps telling me that we should talk privately but always fail.

Of course, there's Khun No who wrap his self on me that I cannot even work properly.

After making sure that Khun No is already a sleep, I found Khun Kim walking from his room.

"Pete."

"Yes, Khun Kim?" I approached him.

Khun Kim handed me a thick envelope. "Can you give this to my father? Porche needs my help."

Wow, everybody is in love.

"Yes, Khun Kim."

This is the last thing I will do. After this, I will sleep. I can already feel my body aching.

When I arrived in front of Khun Korn's office I knocked several times but no one answered.

"Khun Korn? Khun Kim wants me to give you this file." I said waiting for a response.

Isn't he here? Haystt. I want to sleep now, my eyes are already drowsy.

Nevermind, I will just leave this on his table. I held the doorknob, twist it a little and it's open.

When I enter, Khun Korn isn't here.

I approach his table and was about to place the envelope when I noticed that there are three pictures on it.

I narrowed my eyes trying to look at it.

What is this?

I couldn't help but to wonder with this.

Those are the photos of Khun Kan, Macau and Vegas.

Khun Kan's face is already crossed out.

My breathing gets heavily with the confusion I am feeling. What does Khun Korn mean about this? I know that Khun Kan is already dead. Both Vegas and Macau are inactive in meddling in the Major Family's business.

Some of their business where also transferred to Khun Korn and to his sons. Why is he still looking after Vegas and Macau? I thought it's already over.

"Vegas isn't someone you can tame."

Shit. I heard Khun Korn's voice from the room that is inside his office.

He's talking about Vegas?

"He may be quiet but I know he will avenge his father's death. Always look after him. Do not forget about Macau. Keep an eye on them. They are still a problem."

When I heard Khun Korn's voice getting louder, I rushed towards the door, and went outside and hugged the folder.

I composed myself with what I just heard from him. So he is still considering Vegas and Macau as an enemy even the two already doesn't show any sign of being involve again.

I fixed my coat and hair, makes sure that I am breathing normally. I knock once again, pretending that I haven't entered the office.

"Khun Korn." I called his name.

"Who is it?"

"It's Pete, Khun Korn."

"Come in."

When I meet his eyes, I just slightly smiled at him, trying my best to hide the tension I am feeling right now after I heard him talking about the two abandoned brothers.

"Khun Kim wants me to give this to you, Khun Korn."

I saw him sneakily flipping the photos so that I will not see what it is. Sorry, but I already saw it.

"You can leave now."

Before leaving, I watched Khun Korn's back as he stare at the dark sky filled with thousands of stars and constellation. I know he is up to something.

Should I just pretend that I didn't hear it? Or should I do something?