I am going to fight. I am going to fight for you. You need to remember that.

- R.L Griffin, “Seamless”

I am always in constant debate with myself that sometimes making decision and doing them confused me.

If the only problem is Khun Korn then it is easy to leave but looking back, I also left my friends.

There is a chance that if we meet each other again- we will face one another as enemies.

While we are on our way to the Minor Family’s mansion, none of us says anything. The ambiance is very cold and quiet. I only stare outside with a heavy heart.

I wonder what Khun No feels if he found out that I sided with Vegas and left without resigning as his head bodyguard. Maybe Khun Kinn will be mad at me or Porsche will be disappointed. I wonder if Pol and Arm will forgive me once we meet each other again.

I hope they will understand that I am not only doing this for myself.

I also have the person I love who I need to fight for.

I am just like Khun Kinn who have Porsche that he is willing to risk everything or Khun Kim who have Che’ that he have to protect.

Like them, I also have Vegas that I wanted to save.

If they find out how our story went, I know they will definitely say that making Vegas suffer is the best choice. Well, I already have the choice to make him suffer by having the opportunity to kill Khun Macau.

But what they can’t see is my Vegas.

The Vegas who wanted to be loved and the other side of him.

I didn’t fell in love to the old Vegas whose happiness depends upon to the destruction of others or the manipulative one.

I fell in love with the Vegas who will sit still in the room, buy me foods, listen to my weird stories, would throw jokes and laugh with me. I am into the Vegas who won’t complain every time I annoys him and the person who made me feel that I am loved.

The only problem is his twisted mind (sometimes) and that’s already given.

“We are here.” Mark energetically said and jumped outside.

Vegas lend his hand to me as we walked inside the mansion.

Everybody’s eyes are on me, some looks so confuse and in doubt on why am I even here.

Time will come that we are all going to work with each other so we have to get along well.

“Venice keeps crying.” Khun Macau appeared in front of me and he smiled. “Welcome.”

I slightly smiled at him and followed the other.

“Why is he crying?” I asked when I heard Venice.

Khun Macau handed Venice to me and stuffs his mouth with the feeding bottle. It seems like Khun Macau is already exhausted by looking after his younger brother.

Without even a minute, Venice already stopped crying and with his eyes closed, he peacefully drinks the milk.

“Are you hungry?” Vegas asked me.

I diverted my gaze and shake my head. “I am not. Can Venice sleep with me?”

“What? Why?” Vegas suddenly asked troubled with what I said.

What do you mean by what and why? Is he protesting?

“I think so too.” Khun Macau agreed. “Every time Phi Pete is around, he doesn’t really cry. Please call me Nong.” He said shyly referring to his last sentence that corner of my lips rose into a smile.

That’s right. I always feel a strange bond with Venice. Even though this baby is Khun Pim’s son, I am sure that he is destined to be with us.

“Alright.” Vegas surrendered when he noticed that I will argue with him if he doesn’t agree. “”Let’s prepare everything to your room.”

Still following them and carrying Venice, we went to the second floor. Vegas opened a room besides his. It is a guestroom with only one bed.

The bodyguards also helped Nop to bring the crib inside.

“You can rest here.” Vegas said and entered.

I looked around. Damn. He really likes cold rooms, huh?

“We prepared the room this morning.” He said.

One thing I noticed with Vegas since we arrive is he keeps avoiding eye contact. He would either look on the floor or somewhere without meeting my eyes.

What is wrong with him?

I placed Venice on his crib, looked at Vegas and the silence enveloped everything.

“Are you sick?”

“I’m not. You can rest now and let’s talk about everything tomorrow.” He said and left.

What the fuck did you just say? After betraying the Main Family, you will just awkwardly say that to me and leave?

I sat on the bed and felt the exhaustion draining my energy and was invading my whole body. I am tired but I don’t want to sleep at the same time.

There are clothes on the bed that I can use, he probably prepared this room. The lights are bright, and unlike the room where I used to be in this mansion, the theme of this room is very light.

I heard a few knocks and when it opened, Mark enters.

“Why?”

He smiled and handed me a few blankets. “You may need some blankets. Damn, why is it so cold here?”

I also want to shiver. Vegas probably adjusted the air condition base from his likes. He always does this that I will probably die in hypothermia.

“Thank you.”

“By the way…” Mark’s voice is so low, afraid that Venice might wake up. “Can I ask you something?”

I nodded as a response.

“You’re a bodyguard of his enemy?” He pointed at me. “I don’t want to offend you but you work for his enemy?”

So he is curious about that.

“Yes.” I answered that made him clap.

What? Why is he is clapping?

“You’re cool!” Mark said in amusement and sat beside me. “Why did you choose Vegas?”

I don’t think we are close enough to tell you that. We both smile to each other before I pushed him to stand up and walk away.

“Are you friends?” Wow. He is like Khun No but a little bit sane. “Friends don’t hold each other’s hands like that.”

What else did he saw?!

“Boyfriends?” Mark devilishly smiled at me. “Boyfriends, huh?”

“No. No. We are not couples.” I answered.

I am not lying though. Until now, I am still unsure on what status do we have.

What are we exactly?

I can see that Mark is still thinking about the label between me and Vegas. I don’t think he needs to waste his efforts thinking about that.

“By the way, why did you choose to help Vegas and Khun Macau?” I asked to change the topic.

“Because my father is Khun Kan’s closest friend.” He answered immediately. “When we receive the news that Khun Kan died, he told me to visit and see if there are problems.”

That’s why he is here and instead of just visiting, he ended up being involved in the problem.

“You know, I think I saw you.”

I raised my head to look at him.

“When?”

“When the proper burial of Khun Kan was held, I am already here to visit and I think I saw you.”

Since the beginning, he already saw me?

“But you look so sad that time.” Mark said and laughs. “I was about to hand you a tissue because you appear like you’re about to cry but then you are being protected by other bodyguards. I thought you’re their master because they seem to gather around you.”

That was also the time where I met Vegas after the confrontation. I am in deep thought about being in pain and confused that time. Maybe that was the reason why I didn’t even pay attention to everybody.

“I have to go now.” Mark said and smiles at me. “Take a rest.”

I waved a little. “Thank you.”

When he was about to close the door, he said something.

“If you’re not boyfriends then you’re probably soul mates.” He said and left.

I went side to side, roll on the bed, fixed the blankets and pillows but I still cannot sleep.

I take a look at the wall clock and it’s almost one in the morning. How can I sleep if I feel so uncomfortable? I sometimes checks on Venice but unlike other babies who cries from morning till night and repeat, he is just quiet.

While I was staring at the ceiling, I heard that the doorknob was suddenly opened.

Oh?

“You’re still awake?” Vegas asked in surprised.

A while ago, he seems to avoid me and now, at one in the morning, he is sneaking like a robber.

I sat on the bed and lay my head on the bed rest. “Cannot sleep.” I answered.

I watched him slowly going to my direction and sat on the bed near me. He is already wearing his pajamas and shirt.

“Do…do you want to…” Vegas stutter that I cannot grasp what he wanted to say.

“Huh?”

Vegas looked at the wall and still refused to look at me. “Do…Do you want to sleep on my room?”

Does he mean… that room?

I felt my heart skipped a bit. I covered my mouth so that I won’t make a loud sound for laughing.

“What are you exactly nervous of?” I asked.

I went nearer to him, checks his face until my eyes landed on his ears.

“It’s all red.” I joked around and laugh.

This is the first time I saw his ears getting this red.

“If you can’t sleep here properly then… you can sleep in my room… if that’s okay with you... if it won't trigger you.”

Did I just saw a nervous and stuttering Vegas?

I don’t know what kind of confidence has gotten into me that I really said, “Sure.”

“Really?” His face lit up like a child.

“Yes but help me bring Venice and his crib.”

“What? We can leave him here alone.”

Damn you. Still Vegas with his cold heart. I went back to bed and cover myself with the blanket.

“Then I won’t go with you.”

I’d rather force myself to sleep here than to leave Venice.

Suddenly, I felt Vegas’s hands on my shoulder and slowly shaking me.

“Okay, okay. We will bring him.”

Hearing that, I got up and carefully carried the sleeping Venice. Vegas on the other hand doesn’t have any choice but to be in charge in carrying the crib.

When we arrived into the room, everything was just the same. The placements of his things before I left and when I dared to take a look during Khun Kan’s burial remains the same.

After putting Venice to sleep once again, I found Vegas staring at me from the corner. He just looks at me that I have to raise my eyebrows on him.

What is he even looking at?

“You’re back.” I heard him said that.

Since it is already dark and the only source of light is the lampshade besides Vegas, I almost thought I am hallucinating when I saw something sparkling flows from his eyes going to his cheeks.

His eyes were already filled with tears that he has to cover his whole face with his palms.

Without hesitating or even the fear in my heart, I ran towards his direction and hugged him tightly.

“I miss you.” I whispered.

I felt his hands wrapped around my waist and hugged me tighter.

From what I have learned in living in this kind of world, we should always take the chances.

In this world where the both of us are in, tomorrow isn’t promised. There is no assurance that we will still be alive the next day.

Since Khun Korn probably sets me as an enemy, I don’t have any idea until when will I live. There is a high probability that he will do anything to kill me.

So for now, as long as I still have time, I will be honest with my feelings.

I don’t want to leave this world with so many unsaid feelings and thoughts especially to Vegas.

“It’s okay.” I whispered as I caress his back.

I can hear him sobbing. I have never seen a fragile Vegas in my whole life.

This time, his cries aren’t mixed with anger and frustrations.

I guided him so we can sit on the floor, facing each other. As he continues to weep, I also run my thumb across his face, catching those tears flowing from his eyes.

Seeing him like this, my heart also melted.

It wasn’t just me who’s suffering.

“I’m sorry.” I heard him say that is almost inaudible. “I’m really sorry. Forgive me, Pete. I really feel bad doing it.”

The moment he raises his head to look at me, I can feel my whole being torn into millions of pieces.

The words he had kept for a long time since I left was finally being said.

Even though I can also feel my eyes slowly burning, I still managed to smile at him.

“It’s fine… it’s already done.” I honestly said.

“I’m sorry that I did those horrible things to you,” he confessed. “I won’t do that again. I’m really sorry. I regret every action I did.”

The weight in my shoulders somehow becomes light. That is what I only wanted to hear, an apology.

“Vegas.” I held his hands and squeeze it. “Promise me that we will make things right, okay? Promise me that.”

“Yes.” His voice was melancholic that I have to hush him.

I let him cry as he wants, hearing a hundred times of sorry from him. My soul is finally at ease with the apologies I have heard.

“You are aware that choosing me means putting yourself in between of life and death isn’t?” He asked.

When Vegas has finished crying, that is the only time where we can freely and openly talks about our concerns.

“Yes.”

I can see the concern in his eyes, thinking of the consequences I might face with the actions I did.

I heard him sigh deeply. “Time will come that you might need to kill your friends.”

When he said that, I kept my mouth shut and look down as I played with my fingers. I don’t know how everybody reacted when I left. I wonder if they are mad and wanted me dead.

“Pete. My side and the Main Family isn’t on the same boat.” He said reminding me about the situation. “One must sink.”

I bit my lower lip and anxiously look at him. “I don’t want to hurt my friends.”

“Did they agree to Khun Korn’s plan?”

“It was only Khun Kim.” For now, that is what I only know.

A person like Khun Kim is difficult to read. I might be able to tricked him and ruin his plan but he is the same as his father. There is a chance that he will side to Khun Korn.

The rest hates Vegas and maybe they will count me in.

“I am going to kill Khun Korn.”

It is already the statement I expected to Vegas and I agree. Khun Korn is the real villain who let himself be ruled by hatred and unexplainable resentment.

The more I see the sides of him especially when he ordered me to kill Macau that is when I realized how good he is to cover such evilness with a kind and respectable appearance.

He has played with everybody, including me and Khun Kim as if we were the characters he built in a game whose goal is to destroy each other without having blood on his own hands.

Vegas cleared his throat. His face shows determination, anger as if he is willing to fight just for the survival.

“There is only one side that will win.”

I understand that he is speaking realistically. As of now, we are the villains in the story.

“You don’t want to hurt your friends and I get it.” His hands went to my cheeks and caress it. “But I will not hesitate to hurt them once they do something to you.”

“…”

“This is the second chance I have to keep you and I won’t waste it anymore.”

"..."

“I have been through hell since I was born, Pete and I will never be afraid to be there again just so save you.”

Somehow, I felt protected hearing those words from him. Someone that care, someone that will prioritize me… and someone that is willing to save me.

“Once Khun Korn moves and starts his brutal game…” He paused for a while and kissed my forehead. “I won’t hesitate to give him an all-out war.”