Have you ever been in a situation when even you know that it is much better to know the truth but there is this part that says… it will just hurt us?

Being a head bodyguard means facing reality without fear and question. Whatever will be served in front of you must be accepted even it hurts and even it is unacceptable.

Our hearts, body, mind and soul are carved to be tough, rational and at the same time reasonable. Emotions should be set aside and it will always be the mind above all.

However, in this moment, I don’t think the way I was trained will be use. Collective emotions are piercing on my heart that I don’t know where to put them. It feels heavy…too heavy that it became a burden.

“Do you want to enter?” Vegas ask as we both stare at an old, abandon like mansion in the small village.

This is the place where Phi White and Khun Gray went together. It is in a somehow secluded area where the neighboring houses are far from each other.

There are no guards outside the tall, wide gate and the eerie atmosphere has been creepy all this time.

One can easily tell that there is something hidden in there. How come that there are still people who visits this mansion if it seems old? The answer is already given… something is in there.

In this type of place, I also do not think someone can easily escape. Transportation is barely seen, no one can hear you scream, and even you ran away- there is still a high chance to get caught.

This is the third day of looking after Phi White. He didn’t even go back to Khun Ja after doing those stupid task. This is also the first time him and Khun Gray went to a different location.

.

“I thought he is friends with Khun Ja,” I speak referring to Khun Gray.

Vegas shake his head and gave a sarcastic smile. “Probably using friendship to fool Khun Ja.”

“If they betrayed Khun Ja then it is not friendship.” I answered still looking outside.

I don’t understand it. The three of them are in the same team, they know that Khun Ja’s lover is my mother yet here they are- involved in her disappearance.

“You might be shock about since you got good friends in the Main Family,” Vegas smiled at me. “This is the reality, Pete. Not all friends are good friends.”

“Wait.” I got alerted when I saw Phi White leaving the mansion. “I should sneak inside and take a look.” I speak as the both of us hide behind the bush.

Vegas who’s sitting in one of the branches of the tree takes a look also and noticed how suspicious that mansion is.

“No. I’ll go,” Vegas volunteered and when Phi White’s car passes by, he went down.

Good thing that there are lots of trees and bushes here where the both of us can hide. It is also challenging that we have to track him, run and walk to follow him since we can’t bring the car.

“What? Why? Are you even good at spying?” I questioned as I look at him.

A person like him who orders lots of bodyguards to do work for him probably cannot do it. Vegas is the brain of the group, he might be physically strong too but it doesn’t mean he can successfully do it.

Unlike me, we were trained how to spy and go inside and outside without being noticed. We are even challenged to go out of a maze during our training.

“You stay here and wait for me.” Vegas said but I am still persistent.

“Let’s go together.” I told him, looking into his eyes as I tried to persuade him.

“You don’t know what kind of person they are. They are dangerous and even if there are only Khun Pat and Khun Gray inside, we don’t know what kind of trap they prepared,” Vegas explained.

My heart…please pity my heart. This situation is draining me that I just want to shout at all of them.

Vegas held my hands, caress it as he give me an encouraging smile. His eyes are sparkling but once you take a deeper look, you will know that sadness has been hiding in there.

“Wait for me here.” Vegas spoke. “Wait for me as I take a look whether our hunch is correct.”

My mind says that it’s going to be fine, that Vegas is strong and a person like him can survive. But my heart says I should be anxious and worried.

“Khun Pat and Khun Gray are not easy to deal with. From the outside look, it seems like it is only them but if look from above…” He explained referring to his position a while ago where he is sitting above the tree. “I saw that there are lots of men guarding the place.”

“See?” I anxiously ask. “There are bodyguards in there. What if they did something to you?”

“I think they should be worried about themselves,” Vegas joked trying to make the atmosphere light.

The fear of losing someone who finally sees your worth is something I cannot take. Vegas, who’s a young master in my eyes is only the person who treated me as if I am his world.

The untamed young master from the second family was the same person who made me feel like a high school teenager who had a crush on someone. And in this times where I am confused… it is good to know that someone got my back.

I am not use to be dependent on someone. I solve all of the problems by my own. This is the first time that I don’t have to pretend that everything is okay and I can fix it. I finally have someone whom I can rely on.

The head bodyguard of the Main Family found the eldest son of the Second Family to be the shoulder to lean on as if in this cruel world, we can ease each other’s burdened heart.

“What if they caught you?” I ask him, thinking of all the possibilities.

“Pete.” He called my name in a soft voice, and his hand is on my cheeks. “How about this, wait for me for an hour and if I didn’t return, you should follow me.” Vegas suggested.

“One hour?” I ask in dismay. “That’s too long, how about ten minutes?”

“One hour, Pete. Just one hour.”

“There could be lots of things that might happen in one hour, Vegas.”

I saw him smile as he rested his face on my shoulder. “You finally called me Vegas.”

With what you are saying, I just want to call you bastard at this point.

“Vegas, let me follow you.” I still did my best to convince him.

“I don’t want something bad to happen.” I don’t know but there is loneliness in his voice.

“I am the head bodyguard.”

“I don't want you to be weak.”

What? What did you say?

“Phi Khun once told me that the only way to defeat the head bodyguard is if someone came into his life and became his weakness.” He looks at me. “I don’t want to be that weakness.”

With what he is saying, I am literally getting weak right now.

“This is for you, Pete. I will go there and find out the truth for you. You have to wait for me and don’t… don’t ever risk your life, please.”

How… how on Earth did he became too soft for this where in fact, this problem is about my family?

I can feel the sincerity and concern on him that even though my heart feels heavy, I smiled on him and held his hand tight.

“You will come back, right?”

His worried face lit up. “Yes, so don’t do reckless things and wait for me to fix this.”

“You will find me, right?”

He held his pinky. “I promise.”

With a smile, I sealed it. “Promise.”

History will never repeat itself and that is my given and self-proclaimed ultimatum.

I lost him once and there will never happen again. Once is enough and I will surely let that fucking Khun Pat, Khun Gray, stupid asshole White to pay for their sins.

I am not a saint and never been one so why would I even show mercy on them?

They are the reason for all of the bullshits Pete and I went through.

I am given the second chance to make things right and also a second chance to torture them as if hell has appeared while they are still alive.

Pete still didn’t know that Khun Pat is his father and I am planning to kill that old bastard even before Pete find out the truth. Second will be Khun Gray for tolerating this craziness of his brother. Laslty. White, fuck it. He has been nosy in his other life and he is still nosy in here. Meanwhile, I am still in debate for Khun Ja.

Pete shouldn’t know more about his father because the last time he did… he died and it fucking scares me to hell.

When Khun Korn told Pete that his mother is Pam Saengtham, I wanted to curse Khun Korn until his ears bleed. The initial plan is to terminate those old selfish people yet we are here, need to face the truth.

I will end this before everything messed up.

There are guards inside but since Khun Pat is probably confident that this is a secluded area, there are only almost twenty men guarding the mansion.

I walk to the side, hide myself in these creepy crying vines and makes sure that my knife is in my hand. I tried to climb the tall wall on the side, making sure that it won’t make any suspicious sound. The side part of this mansion is just garden with some flower, fruit bearing trees and some that are used for cooking.

Why doesn’t he bury himself alive so that it will be a fertilizer?

I notice that there is a guard, smoking his cigarette and looking at his phone. I jump from the wall, landed on him and even before he can react, I break his neck. To make sure that he is dead, without thinking twice, I slit his throat as his blood pours his whole body. I drag his lifeless body behind the grass.

Happy hide and seek, fuckers.

Since it is already getting dark, I have to hurry. Pete might be worried and I know him, he will definitely follow after thirty minutes. He is the type of person who can’t just stand and watch.

“I thought he came here to smoke.”

“Oi! It is still time for our duty!”

Two more bodyguards came, with their guns on their waist and smoking. I waited for them to came closer to where I am hiding.

“Intrud—“ I didn’t wait for the bodyguard to shout and stab his throat.

The other one is kinda strong but what can he do? He can’t even grab his gun so I did it myself and pull the trigger directly on his head. It has silencer. So stupid to add a silencer in their gun. They are all stupid people.

When there is no more hint of bodyguards arriving, I scan the place.

I narrowed my eyes and found a window in the third floor of the mansion. It is the only window with grills. I may not be a spy but I am not an idiot to realize what it hidden there.

I hid my knife and prepared my gun in case I need to shoot someone. From climbing these walls, veranda from veranda and reaching to hold on the pillars until my hands almost bleed, I managed to take a look from the outside. From the window, I reach to sneak.

The room has only one lamp with warm color that makes it hard to find out what other things are in there.

Someone is standing near the door, she have a long wavy black hair, wearing a medium length dress. She seems to be troubled, walking around but also stop.

I thought she stop because she remember something only to realize that is where the chains on her feet can reach.

I look at her, still dumbfounded. The chains or her feet and her hand, those pair of lonely eyes in a dim room. The scars on her arms and the way the silence seems to be scary and heart wrenching.

She is Pam Saentgtham and I can clearly see Pete in her.

The same chains, the same scars… the guilt is resurfacing on me once again.

“Who are you young man?”