Weakness. Weakness is all I felt. Helpless that I can't hold Nova, weak because I can't console my grieving mate. Karter lay his head on my chest as he cried over our beloved. A girl like Nova shouldn't have to go through this, especially when she's wanted pups for her whole life which she's told me on multiple occasions.

In this moment of weakness, all I can think about is being strong for my beloveds. But that's my baby too, I also need my time of grief and a shoulder to cry on. It's not the two of them now, it's no longer Karter and Nova, it's Karter, Nova and Alaric. It's a trio not a duo. And sometimes it just feels like I'm just a side in this mating.

Tears have rolled down my cheeks, but nowhere near as much as Karter is crying. I know he fears the worst, but he also needs to have faith as well. There's nothing worse in this world knowing your own flesh and blood is growing in the one you love most, but could be taken from you in seconds. It fucking hurts more than words can say, more than actions can show. I can feel how much my mates are hurting, but do they feel how much I hurt as well? Do they know it's my pup as well and I need comforting just as much? Because it sure as hell feels like I'm put on the sidelines to be their comforter and the strong one.

"I'm sorry I need a minute." I whispered to Karter and stood up.

"Alaric." He started but I didn't let him finish as I walked out of the medial house for some air. As soon as the door closed behind me, I broke. My knees hit the ground as I sobbed not caring who saw me in my weakened state. A hand over my mouth to quieten my sobs, my shoulders shaking.

For the first time in this relationship I have felt like an outsider. Just there because of a mate bond that Karter and Nova don't even want with me. It's like every kiss, every 'I love you', every cuddle, every time we had sex was just a lie. I mean, Karter despised me when I first met Nova, when he saw me touching her and took her from me. And now all this is happening, it's like that pup is theirs, not ours.

Just when I was about to compose myself to go back inside, I smelt the scent of my mate. His arms circling around me, pulling me on to his lap where I sobbed even harder. Karters lips pressed onto my forehead while he rocked me not giving a shit if someone saw us like this. So vulnerable.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Karter whispered to me over and over again, his lips pressing on my forehead every time he said I'm sorry.

"I'm so fucking sorry baby." He muttered to me. "This isn't only me going through this, I should've been there for you too. I'm so sorry baby. So fucking sorry."

"Can we see her yet?" I looked at him.

"I don't know." Karter whispered. I stood up and went back inside not wanting to miss Cara telling us we can see Nova. Karter followed me and before I could sit on a chair, he pulled me on to his lap. Even when I tried to move away his arms tightened around me so I couldn't even so much as struggle.

"Let go of me." I whined. "Please just let go."

"No. Talk to me. Please, Alaric. What I felt just then was more than what I've ever felt with you. It can't be just pushed aside. Talk to me, please." Karter begged. His eyes begging me to tell him what's on my mind.

"It's nothing." I whisper looking away from him.

"Don't give me that shit. I fucking hate that you feel like this, please open up to me."

"I feel like I'm a roommate not a mate. You and Nova are so close and I feel like I'm on the sidelines all the damn time. When you had that argument, it was you two, not the three of us deciding about the pup situation. And now. Now it feels like that's your pup, not ours. You got a hit on Kobe for talking shit about your mate, because that's what it feels like, Karter. It feels like I'm not in this relationship. You only keep me here because of the bond and I fucking hate feeling like this. Then you go off and do whatever it is you did and come back and I'm expected to comfort you. But where's my comfort? Where was you and Nova when I needed comfort in the time you spent separated? I feel like I'm not a serious part in this relationship and I can't fucking bear it anymore." I sobbed.

"We love you, so fucking much. We'd be lost without you, I would've killed Kobe a long time ago if it wasn't for you being here. You are our rock, and we couldn't ask for a better mate because you meet our standards and no one can compare to you. You've set the bar so high that if it was anyone else we'd be miserable. Nova and I love you so goddamn much it hurts. I'm so sorry for spending more time with Nova, she's so fragile I'm scared something will happen to her if I'm not with her. I'm scared something will happen to both of you if I'm not there. I know you can watch your own back, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about you Alaric. We're so fucking sorry we let you feel like this, please tell me if you ever feel like this again. Let us make it up to you."

I nodded and laid my head on his shoulder as we both cried. We have each other comfort while we cried for Nova not knowing if our pup will be safe. I feel horrible laying this on Karter in this situation knowing we're both hurting for the same reason, knowing that my mate could be losing our pup and we're not there beside her.

"I fucking hate this. I need to be with her." I sniffled sitting up from Karters shoulder. He brushed my hair from my eyes, his eyes looking at me with so much love. The same way he looks at Nova.

"I know. I want to break down that door and see how our mate and pup are doing, but we have to have patience." He sighed.

"I need a haircut." I croaked out getting a chuckle from my beloved.

"In a time like this that's what you say." He laughed. "We'll go tomorrow because I need one as well."

"You should grow it out. Same with a beard. Damn you'd look so sexy with long hair and a beard." I smirked at him.

"What? Like Jason Momoa?" He smiled.

"Exactly like Jason Momoa." I laughed then sniffled. "I really need to know if she's okay."

"She will be. And in a couple months we'll have a beautiful pup laying in her arms."

"I fucking hope so. So much." I smiled sadly tears once again falling down my cheeks.

"She will. Both of them are so strong, so strong." Karter hugged me to his chest again where we sat in silence. Once again giving each other comfort.