While I sat with my children in my arms, Aria and Amaris, Alaric had Atlas, I couldn't help but think about things. Like always I got lost in thought about everything, how my pups were going to grow up, if they'll be happy and healthy, if I'll be a good dad to them.

But the thoughts that plague my mind most is losing Nova. Alaric has been twenty for centuries and I know I've stopped ageing now, maybe a few more years when I'm twenty I'll stop ageing, or I'll be like my dad and stop at twenty-four. And my pup, I know they'll be like me half and half or even full vampire, most likely half and half but we'll see in the future.

But what my main concern is losing Nova. She'll age and when she's old and grey she'll die. I want that for Nova, to have a full, long, happy life with pups and so many memories to keep hold of. By the selfish part of me wants to find a witch to see if there's any spell to keep her here with us, to keep her young and unable to die because I want Nova with me and Alaric and our pups. I don't want them to lose their mother, all three will need her, me and Alaric will need her.

I hate the thought of losing any of my family, I don't want to. But I know it'll happen and I can't control that. I love my family, but I know I'll be able to get over it some day once their gone, but Nova, I haven't lived without Nova and I don't plan to. I wouldn't be able to do it and I know Alaric is the same.

We'll have each other I know, we'll have our pups but I don't want to stomach the pain of losing my mate. She means everything and more to me, so does Alaric and the thought of losing either of them scares me to no end. Maybe I will find a witch who could do something like this, to have Nova keep her wolf but she doesn't age. But I can't be selfish, what if she doesn't want that? I can't force her to stay if she doesn't want to.

"Your thoughts are going 100 miles an hour. What's going on?" Alaric said pulling me from my thoughts.

"I don't want to lose Nova, I don't want to lose any of you. If there was a way to stop Nova from ageing, would you do it?" I asked him.

"In a heartbeat." He replied instantly. "The selfish part of me says yes, but if there was that option I'd ask her. And if she said no then I'll have more than enough time to come to terms she won't be here forever. I will respect and go by every decision she makes because I don't want her unhappy and feeling like we did her wrong. So yes I would if she agreed, but no if she wanted to die peacefully in her sleep an old woman surrounded by her children and mates."

"I want to be so selfish and just do it without her knowledge. But then I know she'll want to grow old, have a full life. A simple life where she lives and then goes." I muttered.

"The most we can do is see if there is anything like that. Ask a witch if there's a spell, and if there isn't then we have to come to terms she won't be with us forever. And if there is, then we'll give her a choice. It all depends on her." He stated.

"Yeah, I know." I whispered.

After a while, Nova came downstairs rubbing her eyes. She gave us smiles then took Aria from me. We're all trying to split our attention equally between the pups. I do admit I want my mini me around me all the time, same with Alaric and I know Nova wants Amaris connected to her at all times since he's a runt. We know it isn't fair so we've come to an agreement to make sure we don't show favourites and that all our children are loved equally from all three of their parents.

"Good morning my baby girl." Nova held up our daughter smiling at her before cradling her in her arms. My mate kissed her other children as well as saying good morning before pecking both me and Alaric on the lips smiling a good morning to us.

"How did you sleep, baby?" Alaric asked her.

"Good once I finished their feeds. I've missed having both you and Karter in bed with me." Nova told us making me frown. I mean we have been giving her the bed to herself so she isn't woken up by the pups.

"We're sorry doll. We didn't think it'd effect you too much." I stated with a frown.

"It's okay. But I'm really struggling to sleep so when you two do the night feeds, just lay with me. I don't care if the pups wake me, I can help. I just want you two near me." She said sitting between us.

It stayed silent, none of us talking since we could simply sit in silence and not utter a word to one another. Nova liked it like that, so did Alaric and I. We didn't see the point in talking all the time if we spent most of our time together. Trust me we do talk, but we prefer to be in silence to soak up each other's presence.

I want to ask her how she would feel if there was an option to stay with Alaric and I, to never grow old and keep an eye over our children. I want to know if she'd do whatever it took to do that, or if she would decline and want a normal wolf life. To give us and our pups as many memories as she could before passing away.

"Nova." I spoke up, I need to know what she thinks, these thoughts have plagued me for years now and I need to know if she'd even consider whatever it is we have to do so she'd stop ageing.

"What would you say if I told you, you could stop ageing? If there was an opportunity for you to be like me to see our kids grow and not have to worry about leaving them, would you take it?" I asked.

"I don't know." She replied. "Karter, I love you, so, so much. And I love Alaric more than I can say. Our children mean the world to me, so much. But I don't think I would, I want my children to remember me the way I am, I don't want to scare them because I can't control anything if anything happened. I have control now, I know I would never harm my pups. Same with you and Alaric, you would never harm them. And if I was like you I'd have to learn to control the thirst, I'd have to be away from our children so I wouldn't hurt them or scare them. So no, I don't think I would."

"We could teach you. We'd be able to help you so you can be around the pups, to be around your family without feeling the urge to feed on them." Alaric told her.

"I know you would, but there's no telling how long that would take. I'd miss out on so much, and I know when I get old and die I'd miss out on so much more. The thing is, I'm happy the way I am, I want to be able to help my children when they get older, if they need to feed and there's no blood bags, I'd be there to give them the nutrients they need to grow. If I become like Karter I can't do that. I'll feel useless that I can do something simple as helping my own children. That's my final decision, if there was an opportunity that arose I'd pass it on to the next person." She said strongly.

Alaric and I nodded but I know he feels how I do. He doesn't want to see Nova so fragile and he certainly doesn't want his pups to lose a parent, neither do I. But I can't change her mind, no one can. And I respect that I do, but in my heart I can't help but feel shitty because if it came to keeping Nova with me for all eternity I would do it whether she liked it or not.

Because I can't stand the thought of her leaving us, and I can't bare the thought of my children's hearts breaking because they'd lose their mother.