I'm sitting next to Rylee in the doctors office with her big belly on display. She has no idea what's in store today, we're finding out the gender of our baby today, and afterwards I'm taking her to one of her favorite rooftop restaurants in the city. I've rented out the whole thing and I'm proposing tonight.

"I'm so excited! What do you think it is? Final guess" she tells me as the doctor starts applying the jelly to the bottom of her abdomen.

These past few months with Rylee has been the happiest of my life and I love her, I love her so much. Which is the reason I took a job teaching boxing and training people. My favorite thing to do though, is train people who used to look like me, small guys wanting to get bigger, or women who start out small and end up weighing more in muscle than anything else. And Rylee likes it too, I come home at night and although I don't make as much as I used to it doesn't matter because we've saved enough for our little family.

"I want a baby boy." I tell her as she smiles and starts, "Jax it's a girl." She tells me as I shake my head no.

"Alright here we go." The doctor tells us using the machine to look around on Ry's belly. "Mom and dad are you ready?" She asks as I nod and hold Rylee's hand in mine as she smiles as wide as she can.

"Your pregnant with a little girl." She tells Rylee when she start smiling so wide I think her lips are going to rip apart! "Yes! I'm so excited!" She tells her as she reaches over hugging me as tightly as she can.

"Jax a baby girl!" She squeals kissing my cheek. I can't say I'm not disappointed but I'm happy, I can't wait to be a dad.

"Lord help me if she comes out looking like you. I'll get myself in trouble trying to protect that little thing." I tell her as she smiles and her tears start.

"I'm so happy." She whispers kissing my lips before looking back at the screen as the heartbeat of our little girl comes in making us both smile.

"You know what this means, we have to pick a name now." She tells me smiling. I know she's already picked it out, I'm just waiting on her to tell me.

"Oh really and what have you picked already?" I ask as she smiles. "Madison Jenelle Rutledge." She tells me smiling as I nod. I love it, I couldn't have picked anything better.

"Alright mom and dad, pictures?" The doctor asks as we both nod in unison looking at our little girl. I'm in love already.

___

"So where are you taking me?" Rylee asks as I hold her hand walking to the restaurant. I've made her close her eyes and I've got a piece of fabric wrapped around her head to make sure she can't see.

"I told you what it was. The set is a surprise, I want to see your face when you first see it." I tell her as she sighs and nods. We went home and I told her to get dressed in her favorite white dress and heels for a photoshoot to take pregnancy pictures. But that's not what this is, I've got big lighted letters that say Will you Marry Me? on the roof with her favorite food waiting on us.

I see the staff as I open the doors and wave as I hold her taking her to the roof. I help her up the steps. When we get to the roof door I help her through, and stop right before the letters. The sun has gone down, and I reach cutting on the lights for the letters and string lights above it. Everything else is in place, the flowers, the rose pedals, the small table for us to eat, even the photographers in both corners of the roof. It's perfect. She's going to love it, I just don't know what I'm going to say.

I stop her in front of the letters when my nerves set in and I hold her hands. "Jax?" She asks as I slip my hands to the fabric piece and pull it off her head. She immediately looks around as I stand in front of her blocking the letters. I step back letting her read it before her mouth drops and I drop to my knee right in front of her as she starts bawling tears.

"Rylee Jane Parker." I whisper as she cries into one of her hands as I grab the one that's about to have an engagement ring on it.

"I love you. I love everything about you Ry. You make me happier than anyone on this earth and I promise I will spend the rest of my life loving you with everything in me. You're my other half and I'm so lucky that I met you. You're absolutely beautiful tonight and I'm so happy you're my baby mama." I tell her as she laughs and nods. I feel tears whelp in my own eyes as I look at her and reach for my pocket.

I never thought I'd be doing this and here I am. "Ry, will you marry me?" I ask pulling the ring box out and opening it while holding her hand.

"Yes." She tells me as I smile and she leans down catching my tears as she kisses me. "Yes, I love you so much Jax." She tells me as she pulls me up hugging me. I smile into her neck as she pulls my head to her and kisses me harder.

"Oh my god." She whispers laughing as I pull the ring out of the box and slip it onto her finger. "I love it." She tells me rubbing my hands as she wipes her tears.

"Jax this is beautiful, thank you." She tells me as I kiss her forehead. I pull her with me as she looks around the whole rooftop before we get pictures taken. I hold her in my arms and smile in all our photos before we sit down and start dinner.

Being alone she rubs my thigh before grabbing her champagne glass with nothing but apple juice in it. "Cheers to forever." She whispers kissing my cheek as I cling glasses with her and kiss her head.

"To Mrs. Rutledge." I tell her as she smiles and nods. I can't believe what just happened and as I watch her looking at her ring wiping her tears I can't help but smile.

I got my girl now, I can't wait to marry her.

___

Rylee's exhausted. She's been in labor for seventeen hours. She's sweating, she's crying, and she's been moaning in pain half the day. I'm holding her hands for what feels like the most helpless hours of my life. I can't do anything for her, and I just wish she'd deliver Madison already. But the contractions haven't stopped.

"God it hurts." She tells me as I rub her arm. Her mom and dad have been waiting outside and there's nothing we can do. It's just up to Maddie to hurry up and come out.

"Fuck Ry, what do you need? What can I do?" I ask rubbing her belly.

"Ice chips." She tells me as I nod and leave the room getting her ice chips. I'm not gone for two minutes and when I'm back she's hitting the call light over and over again.

"Hey, hey what's wrong?" I ask sitting the chips down as she shakes her head no. "Something doesn't feel right. She's not moving." She tells me continuing to push the call light.

"Doctor" I yell out of the door as they come rushing down the hall. They run into Rylee and the baby's heart monitor slows down. "Get her the fuck out before she dies. Start the c-section, Jax will do the paperwork. I'll run to the operating table if you don't get her out." She tells the doctor crying her eyes out as I stand there in shock.

"Rush her into surgery." The doctor tells them after taking her vitals. I stand not knowing what to do as they take her out the room. I follow them to the operating room doors as they stop me.

I take one look at her as they shake their heads no and I shake mine yes. "I'll put on damn scrubs but I'm seeing my fiancé deliver our daughter." I spit out.

"Change then. I don't have time for this." He tells me as the nurses take me into the bathroom to change. I scrub in and wash my hands with them as I sit beside Rylee's head quietly. She's put to sleep while I rub her hair and listen to her heart monitor.

I don't stop watching her until ten minutes later when my heart bursts. I hear yells and screams as I look down at her cut open abdomen and see our little girl. The nurses wash her quickly before putting her into my arms as I hold my little girl. She's big, she's at least eight pounds and I love her so much already.

They're still sewing Rylee back up when I hold Madison in my arms rubbing her little butt as I hold my tears back. She's beautiful, she's got my dark brown hair and tan skin color and she looks like me reincarnated in a little girls body.

She's yelling at the top of her lungs when Rylee wakes up from the anesthesia they put her under to calm her down. "Oh my god." She whispers looking over at me holding Maddie as she instantly starts bawling tears and reaches for her.

"Hi sweet Madison" she whispers wiping her tears as she holds her in her arms and kisses her head. I smile as I reach around holding Rylee's hand and our girl.

"She's perfect." Rylee whispers watching her as she comes closer to me and kisses my cheek. "Jax thank you so much. For everything, we're going to make great parents." She tells me as I nod and kiss her forehead.

We will, because we're giving my baby girl anything in this world she wants.

___

Jax and I's wedding day is supposed to be today, but I'm upset right now. It was his job to get her dressed while I was having my makeup done with my only bridesmaids from my sorority in college. I never really lost contact with them and although we hadn't spoke in months, when they found out I was engaged and pregnant they were ready to help me with the wedding.

"JAX!" I yell at him while holding Madison on my hip. "What Ry?!" He yells back seeing me in my full face of makeup for the first time today as I walk through the small church to the groomsmen quarters.

We rented out a church for the ceremony and it's so beautiful with the big open windows and I love it. But afterwards we're having the reception in a local wine venue. It was supposed to be perfect, and I love Jax with everything in me, but what he's done is unforgivable.

"You look beautiful." He tells me looking at my makeup as I hold Madison making him laugh. He's already spoiled her enough, and I'm mad now.

"Tell me why my baby girl is in her pajamas? Jax you were supposed to dress her!" I tell him as he sighs. My mom brought her in to see me and I immediately noticed the pajamas from this morning. Jax and I are getting married in three hours, and I really am freaking out about everything at this point. He's not in his tux, and his pictures are in an hour, he's still in sweats with Carter and two of his friends.

"Ry we have a few hours, she's fine." He tells me seeing me in my white robe. "But you have pictures in an hour, and I want you to take some with her. Please just dress her." I tell him as he sighs and takes her from me.

"Don't forget her bow, and her little shoes." I add as he walks over and kisses my head.

"Rylee you're freaking out. And when you freak out you start thinking about everything but what you need to. Go get your hair done, it's all under control baby. She'll be fine." He tells me rubbing Madison's back in his hand.

One thing I'll never get tired of is watching Jax be a dad. I love it with my whole heart seeing him with her that is. He walks around the house with her on his chest and she loves him so much. It doesn't help he's with her most of the day when I'm at work, and she looks just like him.

From her brown hair to her blue eyes and her little laugh, to the way she smiles and has his dimples. I'm mad I carried her for nine months and she doesn't resemble me at all besides her little body frame.

That's why soon, he'll be a dad again and he doesn't even know yet.

"I know but please don't forget-" I go to start as he cuts me off, "I got this. I love you, now go." He tells me kissing my forehead and rubbing my back as I nod.

I need to calm down, I hope so. I'm freaking out and I know it's because I'm making the biggest decision of my life.