the most heart wrenching, bathroom floor rolling, sobbing, begging part of all of this, is that no one will ever be you.

i know i will find others, i'm not that naive. there were ones before you and there will be ones after. there's other men with brown eyes and a lovely lying face, ones who will open the car door, and send me their favourite songs. i know that life goes on.. i swear i do. but what am i supposed to say to my therapist when she asks why i walked out on my first date? you can already picture the look she'll give me when i tell her it's because he didn't get ketchup in his hair when he ate. and what am i supposed to do when the next guy lies naked beside me and the tears begin to roll. he doesn't know about my story, all the scars and the bruises, and he won't hold me the same way you did. maybe he'll take me for fancy dinners and open the car door, maybe his mum will adore me and hope that we'll marry.

i know i will find others, i'm not that naive. ones with brown eyes and lovely lying faces, ones who will open the car door and send me their favourite songs. but i also know i will spend the rest of my life tirelessly searching for a duplicate. knowing very well no one will ever be you.