《better left unsaid》borderline
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i was merely alive yesterday.
i woke up that morning with a pit in my stomach and hate in my heart. hate for myself and for you and all of it was so calculated, so rational and well thought out, it could convince scientists.
a dread and angst for the hours that lay before me so premeditated the only thoughts to compute through my thick skull were to destroy the life that lay before me.
the hours passed and it got worse, it got better and then it got worse again. this sense of existential dread was not new but worse then ever before, it felt as if for a moment that god specifically wanted me in pain.
i slept for 13 hours or so, then woke this morning at 6AM with an even worse kind of doom. a distress that ate yesterdays for breakfast.
i called my friend, we cried. i felt alive again, maybe even back to earth again. i hung up around 8 to get food and walked cluelessly around my new surroundings. i hiked to the top of a cliff, and i ate my burger as i did some writing, now maybe, it's not so bad. this morning i'm strung out on gratitude and overdosed on shame of the person i was yesterday. i realised for the thousandth time that awful days are just awful days, but every time it's new, every time i forget any other state of reality i've ever had. it's always been nasty and it always will be nasty.
it's 10:27AM now and i've snapped out of it, that state is nothing but a sense of comfort to me now. till next time i suppose.
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- In Serial63 Chapters
Yora Chronicles
[Arc 0 - The Prologue] Airen and Yuelei Casteya - Two twins separated in act of revenge not of their own doing. One is sent to the frozen north, where she is adopted by a frost phoenix and taught to survive in the harshest of conditions, eventually meeting with the forces that govern nature itself. The other is sent to the southern deserts and is saved by a band of slaves-turned-raiders who take him in as one of their own, where he eventually came into contact with a being that calls herself the History Eater. The two sought power and the forces of the world would soon listen, but not without their own aspirations. And perhaps if the two were to meet again, they would be so warped by their own hands and would not even recognize the other. [Arc 1 - Disciple of the History Eater & Knighthood] Under the guidance of Fieluri, the whimsical being from the Archive, Airen moves south to the Red Slate Republic to attend Stonewall Military Academy. There, he finds himself wrapped up in the History Eater's ploys, and at the same time, learns of the somber side of society in the slave-driven republic. Eventually, under Fieluri's instruction, he descends into the depths of dungeons where he eventually reunites with an old acquaintance. Yuelei, who has grown used to living in the snowy mountains, moves north to the Holy Land of Ecclisa to attend the Royal Knight Academy. After Lin leaves, she slowly adapts to living with humans again, but not without ceaseless caution. The thinly-veiled peace is eventually broken, for the monsters that haunted the nights in the Whitefrost Mountains are returning once more. In response, the Holy Land of Ecclisa slowly prepare for war, but Yuelei is not just a mere bystander. All paths eventually leads to conflict. When it arrives, one can choose to deter it away, or to revel in it. [Arc 2 - WIP] NOTE- Based on an internal discussion, please be advised the earlier chapters of this novel [Arc 0 and Arc I] is going through a major revision and rewrite to gap the 6 years experience since the first draft of this novel. For questions,concerns,comments or contributions, feel free to join us on our discord: https://discord.gg/Vdp2k6v © 2018 by Phyantasm. All Rights Reserved.
8 447 - In Serial11 Chapters
NOVA INTERIT.US
It's 2063, and the town along with much of the nation are in disarray. The decay started years before the Great Event. Our town still had hope thanks to the five families, who'd created a blockchain based water distribution system for the locals, a valuable secret hidden from the Global Water Commission and their network of mercenaries. Earlier in the mid-2040's, right after the state secessions of Idaho, Montana, and Texas, the Global Council of Water Commissioners made their deals and moved into towns throughout the country. They called it "the integration." The Commission and their contractors integrated with municipal water departments, using their organized network to invade like parasites on local services. It all coincided with the 29th Amendment to the United States Constitution, later referred to as the Regional Trident Plan. Nova is a story about survival, power structures, the turning of relationships, and the networking between people and the systems to which they belong. It’s about A.I. blockchain possibility, and its potential for human betterment versus our detriment. It’s about the question of whether or not we need to be saved from ourselves, and by who or what? The Great Event at the end of the first chapter might just be what actually saves us. The epilogue will take place in 2517. This scene is fully sketched and the full arc of the novel is set. I expect to finish Nova Interitus by summer of 2023. This is realist hard-sci-fi dystopian fiction. I hope you find Nova to be a challenging and consuming story. This is not something I planned to write. It all came to me in a dream and I haven't been able to stop writing it. This Royal Road posting is basically a beta test with chapters and drafts to get some feedback and see if there's any readership for this narrative. For the full experience read Nova on Substack. I will be narrating a podcast version later this year there. https://novainteritus.substack.com/
8 145 - In Serial24 Chapters
The Quest To Devour All
"There is always destruction when there is beginning, we cannot escape destruction for destruction is in us" "It only matters how much destruction is in us. but him...his only will is destruction..and that will cannot be broken" Tremis I. Stuarts is what people identify as a Maniac, a person who they think does not deserve to live. But when that person is murdered and transmigrated in a Fantasy world with the title of {God of Devour} where he decided who lives or dies does any life stand a chance? Because in his eyes NOONE needs life, only death. [Official Discord: https://discord.gg/qQ6ANDT]
8 262 - In Serial14 Chapters
Battle Maiden
""""Beautiful Bishoujo misunderstood by the world. Results are not a product of genius, but rather hard work"""" - Vereliosi"""Out of hatred of reality, bonds which end up as weird relationships are forged, if you think something is wrong with the current chapter you're reading, wait till the next chapter appears.. or corrupt yourself with side stories"""" - HikaruMichi"""Boy meets girl. A story that is elegant, simple, romantic, and awkwardly hilarious... so why in god's name did you put twincest in there too?!?"""" - Nobody8
8 194 - In Serial6 Chapters
Remorse
I have killed many people over my long life. Men, women, children. None have escaped the shadows that I control. It was only one tiny mistake that I made that changed my life forever. I underestimated her, and I would pay for my hubris. “For every death you have given, you will feel their pain.” What? “For every person you have killed, you will feel regret.” Wait, wait… “For every murder you have commited, you will know what you have done.” I don’t think this is going to be pretty. The power leaves her voice as she continues in a softer tone. “I will give you back what you have lost, you will feel empathy again.” Her power releases me and I fall to the ground. Diana. That was her name. I will remember it. ******** This story starts out somewhat dark, but it will lighten up after the first chapter. I tend to not enjoy the psychological tag too much since stories with the tag tend to be a little insane for my liking, but I feel that I would be remiss not putting it on this story, since a lot of it is about the psychology of the main character. All the content warnings are checked since I want to leave my options open to me for the future. I hope you enjoy.
8 148 - In Serial10 Chapters
My Father From Another Continent
For Bio!Dad Bruce Wayne Month!This is full of oneshots that can be read alone or are somehow interconnected to one another... I think there will also be a two-shot and art... I dunno[This is the even on Tumblr that I just finished]
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