A/N

I lost all my inspiration and I don't know where to take the book but I got this idea from one of you lovely people (@rolandovasquez) and so I did it because I'm sad and this is a sad chapter and I want you to be sad with me.

And no, I will not make another book on Chris and Damon cause I'll still get bored halfway through and yes, this will be the only chapter solely for the two of them.

Enjoy.

>

My heart felt like it was shredding.

Bit by bit I felt like I was losing a piece of me and as I sunk onto my bedroom floor, I allowed the tears to overflow as I was once more alone.

I knew I was probably the stupidest boy alive but I was a boy in love and even though he ripped me to shreds and danced to my pain, I couldn't stop myself from wanting him... From missing him... From regretting ever telling him those awful words.

He ruined me, I knew that. But he was also the only person that ever loved me so fiercely and had that love reciprocated.

Was it all a lie?

Did he ever care for me?

Was this all a joke to him?

I folded myself into a fetal position as I pressed my palm against the heart that I could no longer feel beating inside my chest.

I'm such a fool.

Damnit.

I'm a fool that still wanted him and it ached to know he didn't want me.

How could he when he kissed Danny. Danny was the definition of a sex God. He was one of the triple D's and he knew Damon longer than I did. There was no way I could compete with him and even if I tried, I wouldn't win.

"Fuck." I whispered as my sobs reached new heights and I almost choked as I tried to breathe. "Fuck."

I faintly heard my bedroom door open and I peeked up to see Derek standing at the doorway with pity and sorrow on his features.

I wanted to scream at him, yell even, but I couldn't as all my body did was shake from the pain of true heartbreak.

Coming to my level, Derek sits next to me and rubbed my back as I started to hyperventilate.

"I can't... I just can't." I sobbed, trying to tell him but failing to find the words.

"I know. I know."

"He... Damnit, he..."

"Shh."

So I did. I stopped trying to talk as I let the sobs take over and I didn't know how long I laid there with my ex boyfriend's best friend slowly rubbing circles as he tried to comfort me. When I finally calmed enough to not cry whenever I talked, I sat up and pulled my feet to my chest, wrapping my hands protectively around them.

"You okay?" Derek asks in a soothing voice, one I never heard him speak in before and I almost started sobbing again.

I had promised that the first and last time I'd cry like this was when my dad died and I hated that I wasted tears on the one person that promised to love me no matter what.

"Yea. I'm fine."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I know but Damon is like a brother to me and I should have said something. I'm the one he listens to but I didn't want to get involved when that was exactly what I should have done."

I sniffled as I looked at my wooden floor, trying my best not to make eye contact with him. I finally got myself to stop crying and I knew if I looked at his face I'd start all over again.

"Damon... Damon doesn't have a family to call his own. We are his family and well, I should have said something then."

"He never does what he's told, it wouldn't have made a difference." I said quietly.

"He listens to me." Derek stops talking before he reaches out and touches my knee.

I looked up at him and as predicted, he had that look that just made me want to scream my pain.

"I... He's here and he wants to talk."

"I can't... Not again."

"Please."

Not wanting to have to stare into his eyes longer than I should, I nodded and held my breath as he stood and stepped outside. Seconds later I see Damon stand from his position outside my bedroom door and I realized he must have sat there the entire time I broke down.

"Just hear him out." Derek says and I fake a smile if only to reassure him.

"Hey." Damon says softly, sticking his hands in his pockets as he braced my vanity.

I wanted to reach for the nearest sharp object and throw it at him but instead I took a deep breath and stared at him.

"What do you want?" I ask, my voice drained, matching how I felt on the inside.

"I'm sorry."

"You said that already."

"I know. I know that no amount of apologising could ever fix what I did and I understand that I broke your heart and ruined your trust by doing the stupid things I did. I was stupid and confused and afraid."

I looked up at him as he uttered that last statement and he ran a hand through his hair as he stared at me.

"I'm not accustomed to this. I'm not accustomed to people staying even if they wanted to. People leave, people hurt me... People die.

I know I play this big role of the tough, strong jock but I'm just a broken guy who had the people he loved and cared about ripped away from him way too soon.

I didn't want to lose you. I didn't want to fall for you as strongly as I do because I believed that no matter how much you told me you loved me and that you'd stay, you wouldn't.

And I can't blame you because it wouldn't have been your fault. So as soon as I knew I loved you, I pulled away... At least I tried to. But I couldn't go a day without wanting you... Without craving your touch.

This love... This... What I feel for you is so overwhelming and I knew I couldn't be the one to walk away so I tried... I tried everything to make sure you would.

I never meant to hurt you Chris. But I can't... I can't afford to lose you. I can't survive that. I won't."

I watched as he bared himself to me and as much as I wanted to run to him and take away his pain, I couldn't. I was in pain too and it was his fault.

"I know... I know that no one has ever hurt you the way that I did... But I promise you, no one can ever love you the way that I do.

If you want... Tell me to walk away. Tell me to leave and I'll go. It'll hurt. Fuck, it'll destroy me but I'll go and I promise I'll never come back... But... If you... If you can somehow find it to forgive me... To still love me... Or to even try...

I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. I'll spend the end of my days proving to you how much you mean to me and even when I fear losing you, I'll rather have that fear come through than to hurt you again."

Damon stares at me and I could tell that he was moments away from crying. I'd never seen him cry before and I didn't even know if I wanted to.

He hurt me. He ripped my heart out and now he wanted me to let him back in again?

"The ball is in your court." He cuts in. "Tell me to walk or allow me to come over there and kiss you cause that is all I wanna do."

I stare at him as his voice breaks on the last statement and a stray tears escapes before a few more followed suit.

Well?