I apologize for the mess this has become. I hope you'll still enjoy it, though.

And what the fuck is that title? Kill me now. I suck at making titles.

Also, there's a mention of daddy kink. And no, there's no smut.

Enjoy.

*****

After spending a good hour or so inside the music room, playing different pieces one after another, both of us decided to stop and get back to where the others are. Standing up, we traced back the path we ambled on earlier, silent as we walked side by side. My chest felt significantly lighter now, as if all troubles were chased away the moment my fingers started tapping the piano's keys. Eren was looking at ease too, silently humming an unfamiliar tune all the way back to the lounge.

When we got back, the children started crowding around us again. Eren instantly got into the mood, picking up two of the kids with his two arms and started playing with them. I sat on the couch at the corner of the room, content with watching them. Catching a sight of the lady I talked to earlier, she smiled at me before she turned into one of the corridors, completely away from my sight.

We spent a few more hours there, Eren playing with them while I occasionally talk to some of the children approaching me. It felt weird, having kids around who is brave enough to talk to me. They are either staying away from me or scurrying away whenever I look at them.

When the clock hit four, Eren stopped playing with the kids and approached me, telling me that we would be leaving. Nodding, I stood up and searched for the lady to properly said our goodbye before we leave.

"It's good to have both of you here today, Eren." She smiled warmly at us, taking both of our hand and squeezing it to show her gratitude.

"It's fine. We're glad to spend our time with them. We enjoyed it, right Levi?" He shifted his gaze from her to me, expecting me to respond.

With a nod, I responded, "Yes. They'are good kids."

Letting go of our hands, still a smile on her face, she led us to the front door. Before we left, Eren turned to give her one last hug and told her that he would visit again soon before we left.

On our way back to his car, Eren nudged my shoulder with his. I looked up to see his face, a small frown resting on my face. "What?"

"Did you enjoy the time you spent there?"

How could I not enjoy it if I was able to watch you smile like that all day?

I shook my head to dismiss the thought. "I did."

"That's nice. Now we'll be going somewhere again."

"Let me guess," Eren looked down on me, one brow raised as he waited for what I am going to say. "I won't be able to have a fucking say about it again, am I?" I stopped walking, Eren taking a few steps forward before he stopped to look back at me.

He chuckled, walking back to where I was before bumping me playfully. "You're right. You don't. Now just be a good boy, get inside the car and wait until we arrive there, okay?"

Rolling my eyes, I started walking again, but after I replied to him, of course. "Yes, dad."

I kept on walking; only stopping when I reached the car. Looking back, I saw Eren still standing on his spot before, looking like someone knocked the sense out of him as he stared at nothing.

I frowned at his actions. What the hell is he doing? "Oi, Eren! Are you going to stand there all fucking day?"

Getting out of his trance, he ran towards where I am currently standing beside his car, his face having a light pink hue on it. He first opened the backseat to place his guitar before going to the passenger seat's side. Opening the car door, he let me get in before going to other side, both of us buckling our seatbelt before he started the car. When he started driving, I called his name.

"Eren."

He spared me a glance before returning his eyes back on the road. "What is it, Levi?"

Keeping a close look at his face, I voiced out my thought. "Why did you suddenly stopped functioning earlier?"

His eyes widened for a fraction, his face reddened and his grip on the stirring wheel tightened. His hesitation was obvious when he answered me. "It's nothing. I just thought of something."

"And what is that something, huh Yeager?"

Eren shook his head, looking more and more flushed as I kept on pressing the subject. "I told you, Levi. It's nothing."

Then something hit me. That couldn't be it, right? It's too absurd to even think about.

Still, I tried my luck. Might as well. There's nothing to lose. "It couldn't be the fucking fact that I called you dad, right? I mean-"

My sentence was cut off when I heard the leather covering the steering wheel squeaking under his grip. He has his lips in a straight line, his face was so red you could easily mistaken it for a fucking tomato.

Silence took over us when none of us spoke. So I was right. He was like that because I called him that. I couldn't believe it.

Before I even knew it, I was chuckling. It was silent at first before it started to increase in volume, making Eren look like he wanted the ground to just open up and eat him or just disappear into thin air without a trace. I did NOT want that. I might fucking die.

I couldn't control myself and my chuckling turned into laughing. Not the usual huff of breath that I did whenever I'm amused at something. It was all out laughing, my stomach aching from laughing too hard and I was gasping to catch my breath.

I couldn't fucking believe it. Out of all the people I know-not that there's many of them-I didn't expect him to have what I supposed to be a daddy kink.

Eren was glaring at me, looking like he wanted to hit me with something or just punch the light out of me. "Levi, stop it."

The serious tone his voice held didn't stop me from laughing. "Really, Eren? I didn't expect you to act like that just because I called you dad."

He looked embarrassed, trying to keep a straight face as he avoided looking at me. He reminded me of a child. "I didn't. You're making things up."

Smirking, I leaned closer to him, noticing the way he stiffened up at the close proximity. "But am I really making things up," I placed my lips next to his ear, "daddy?"

I didn't know what reaction I will get from him with what I've done, but I was caught off guard when he suddenly lost control and caused us to swerve to the right before he managed to get it right back on track. After composing ourselves from what happened, Eren turned his attention to me, still glaring.

"Stop that, Levi. You're going to put us into some accident."

Huffing, I leaned back on my seat and crossed my arms, deciding to look outside the car window. "Fine."

"Good. It won't be too long before we arrived there. Just be patient."

"You know I'm never fucking patient."

"Patience is a virtue, Levi."

I snickered. "Patience is a virtue, my ass."

He didn't reply but I heard him heave out a heavy sigh.

True to his words, it didn't take long until we arrived. Where? I don't fucking know. I just knew it when he stopped his car and parked it.

Getting out of the car, the first thing I noticed was there was a crashing sound. When I looked around, I saw a river a few meters away, the reason behind the sound. The water is as clear as crystal, the riverside covered in grass and some wild flowers. Eren also went out before taking something out from the backseat. It was a basket with a cloth covering the top of it.

"Come, let's take a seat there." I followed him, walking closer and closer to the river. He stopped when we were under a barren tree, taking the cloth from the basket before spreading it on the ground. Eren removed his shoes before he sat down and leaned against the tree. Looking at me, he tapped the place beside him.

Sighing, I removed my shoes then sat down beside him just like how he wanted to. Both of us didn't speak, letting the silence take over us. I didn't mind it. It wasn't awkward nor uncomfortable. Instead I felt content just by sitting beside him, by feeling the warmth radiating off of his skin. I felt happy, too happy to just be able to hear his breathing, to see his mesmerizing eyes, to have his presence with me.

I know in that moment that I missed him. I missed being with him, missed spending time with him. It made me feel bad, made the heavy feeling in my chest heavier with guilt. Even though I am spending my time with Rein, I still couldn't help but miss Eren. They might look like each other, but there's just something about Eren that makes him so, so fucking different.

Do I even have to choose? Is there even a choice to make or am I just trying to conjure choices in the first place? Right from the start, even just after we fought and ended everything, even after Rein came to the scene, I knew that Eren has the advantage. He has the advantage because I loved him and even after what happened, I still loved him. I did my best to redirect it to Rein, but it isn't that fucking easy. It's not easy to love someone when you really don't. Although I am confused and it's hard for me to choose one of them over the other in fear of hurting anyone, deep within the crevices of my mind and heart, I know who I will choose.

It's Eren. It always has and always will be him.

But how about Rein? All he ever did is wait for me and love me, which made it so fucking hard to hurt him. He did nothing wrong, he did nothing to deserve the hurt, the heartbreak.

"Levi, are you okay?" For the second time this day, Eren has to pull me out of my deep thoughts. I looked up at him and saw him smiling at me, his hand reaching up to push the hair covering my eyes back.

I felt like a little kid being comforted by their parent. I nodded and sighed. "I'm fine, just thinking."

"It's okay, everything will be fine, Levi." He continued running his hand through my hair before leaving a kiss on my forehead. His soft lips left a lingering warmth on the area it just made contact with, the warmth spreading throughout me, making my stomach tie itself in knots.

He leaned back to the tree again, his arm wrapped around my shoulder as he continued running his fingers through it. The gesture felt too relaxing, making me close my eyes and lean my head on his shoulder.

"How long has it been since we've been like this?" His voice was hushed, as if being loud would shatter the serenity enveloping us, would shatter the peaceful world we created and placed ourselves in.

Leaning more into his touch, I murmured, "Too long."

Because it really has been too long. But despite that, I could still remember his touch, his gentleness. The time we spent apart didn't make me forget how it felt, always making me feel trapped by him with his touches haunting me.

"Yeah, it has been too long." He sighed, leaning his head on mine. "I missed this. I missed you. I missed everything about you."

Hearing his words made my heart ache in a bittersweet way. I knew that he missed me. I could see it in his eyes, could feel it radiating off him. His touches had longing in it, every word laced with affection he has been holding for me for far too long, affection that he wasn't allowed to show. But in this moment, in this world where only the two of us were existing, we could let it all out. Nothing would hinder us, nothing would hold us back.

"I miss you too." So fucking much.

His arm that was resting on my shoulder slid down, taking my hand in his and lacing our fingers together, locking it. It fit perfectly against his, as if it were made to be held by one another. He was staring at it, eyes overflowing with love, with joy.

Like hell if I wasn't feeling like that too.

I felt my eyes getting heavy but I fought against it. I don't want the hours I'm spending with him to be wasted just because I spent weeks sleep deprived.

However, Eren noticed it. He shifted his body to make it more comfortable for me. "It's okay, Levi. You can go sleep. I know that you're tired."

I protested. "It's okay, I'm not sleepy." I don't want to waste my time with you. I'm afraid that if I wake up, I'll be waking up alone again and find out that all of these were just a fucking dream.

"Even a blind person wouldn't be fooled by you, Levi. Just go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." With that reassurance, I let myself relax against him before I slowly drift into nothingness.

*****

Eren's POV

I stayed still as Levi sleep beside me, careful not to wake him up. I kept my gaze fixed in front of me, watching the river flow as his deep breathing filled my ears.

What happened today was far from my expectations. I only expected to spend my time with him, have a few chats in between an atmosphere filled with tension but this was far from it. So, so far from it and I'm glad for how this day turned out. Having him next to me, his head resting on my shoulder as he slept in peace, it felt surreal. After what happened between us, having moments like this seemed like a far-fetched reality, but it came true. I was able to be close to him, to feel his presence, to hear his voice. I was able to see the smile that I love the most, to see the smoldering gray eyes that imprisoned me, not letting me get away.

In spite this, I couldn't stop thinking that after this, once we get away from this world we created and went back to reality we really live in, everything would turn back to normal. I wouldn't be able to be with him anymore, wouldn't be able to stay beside him as much as I wanted to. I wouldn't be able to voice out my feelings, wouldn't be able to show him what I felt. It hurts, just thinking about it made it hard to breath. It felt like something is wrapped around my heart, squeezing it whenever I thought of Levi being together with Rein.

It's selfish to want him all to myself. It's impossible, it's just making it hard for the two of them, but the thought of them being together is something that wouldn't be able to handle. I don't want anyone but me to have Levi, to be the one he spends his night with, the one who he thinks of before he goes to sleep. I want to be the one he'll wake up in the morning with, to be the one who will spend the rest of his life with. I want to be his everything just as much as he is to me.

Still, I'm not the one to decide about that. It still depends on Levi, lays on his hand for he will be the one who'll make the judgment. I shouldn't force him to choose me if he doesn't want to. Because out of all the things I want, Levi's happiness is the most important thing to me. If being with me wouldn't make him happy, then I would be more than happy to let him go.

I would just make the best out of my moments with him.

I didn't know how long Levi slept and how long I pondered over my thoughts. Not even knowing that I fell asleep, I opened my eyes and was brought back to reality when I felt him lift his head off my shoulders, rubbing his eyes before stretching.

I smiled at him. "Had a good rest?"

He nodded, his hand resting on his neck. "Yeah, I suppose that you did too."

I hummed in response, ignoring the slight ache I felt in my neck. "Are you hungry?"

"Kinda." I reached for the basket resting near me, taking out a sandwich for the both of us, along with bottled tea.

Offering it to him, he took it, a smirk on his lips as he did so. "Ready, eh?"

I didn't answer him. We proceeded and ate our food in silence. It went on like that until we finished, our mind still hazy from sleep. Both of us threw our trash into the basket, making sure not to leave any garbage in the place.

While we're staring at the river, he once again rested his head on my shoulder. "Oi, Eren."

"Hmm?"

"Why did you even love me?"

I leaned away from him, taking his chin in between my fingers to make him look at me. "Why are you asking me that?"

He looked away. "It's just that, I don't understand why you kept on chasing for me when you can just leave it behind and have anyone you like. Plenty of people want to be with you and yet you're wasting your time on me."

Frowning, I shifted my body to look at him properly. He kept his eyes away from me, choosing to keep his eyes fixed at the river. "Levi, it isn't that easy. I tried to, but I couldn't. I love you since we were kids. You're like a dream to me, unreachable, unattainable, but despite that, I kept holding on. Call me an idiot, but I do. I just love you too much to let you go. None of them matters to me. They can never measure up to what your worth is to me."

"But you're just hurting yourself."

"I do that because you're worth all the pain. Being with you makes everything alright, makes me feel complete. Someone told me that if you can see yourself in the future with someone, then they're the right one. But I don't believe that. I never did."

"You don't?" This time, he faced me, the look on his face urging me to go on.

"I do believe it partially, but I just think that there's something wrong with that. Picturing your future with someone is easy when you're happy, when everything is flowing smoothly, when there's nothing going wrong. However, when something went wrong, when there are fights and misunderstandings, when everything seems hopeless, it's hard to picture a future with them.

Still, if you can see yourself in a future with them despite the struggles, then that's when you'll know that they're the one. If you still believe that they're the one you want even if everything falls down, then they're the right one. And Levi, that's what I feel for you. After everything that happened, you're still the one I pictured myself in the future with. That's how much I love you, Levi."

I smiled at him, my heart beating too fast to the point that I thought it was going to burst. I poured my heart out for him, told him what I truly felt. I didn't expect him to say something back to me. I just wanted to say it all out.

Levi looked like he was torn in between running or staying with me. I understood how hard this is for him. "Eren..."

"Shh, it's okay. You don't have to say anything."

Pulling him closer to me, I let him bury his face into my chest, his arms slacked beside him. "I'm sorry."

Doing my best to prevent the tears threatening to come out, I whispered to him, "It's okay, you don't have any reason to be sorry."

We stayed in that position for a few minutes before we went back to our position earlier. Silence enveloped us like a blanket once again as we let ourselves get over what just happened. I was the one who spoke between us first, the tension slowly but surely dissipating into nothing and we were back to the serenity we made earlier once again.

More hours passed with us like that, having talks about random things to keep the conversation going. Throughout it I was able to even make him laugh, something that I was thankful for. When the sun already set down, we both decided to go back. Disappointment started to creep into me, but I ignored it.