This is unedited and pretty much rushed. Still, I hope that you'll enjoy

This is the second to the last chapter.

Enjoy :)

*****

"I've been waiting for you, Levi." I couldn't help but notice the disappointment lacing his voice, each blades adorned with blades that cut through me deeply. Rein looked defeated as he looked at the two of us. I've seen that look before. Not on him, but on someone who looks so much like him.

I've seen that look on Eren, the look he has when he realized that there's no way for us to be together now that Rein was back, the look he has when he has to let go of me before.

It hurts me to see that look again. Not on Eren, but on Rein this time around.

And once again, it's all because of me.

Why can't I bring anything but hurt to them both? Isthat the only thing that I can cause them?

Rein broke his gaze away from mine and turn it to Eren, who's standing beside me silently. "Hey, Eren.It's such a merry Christmas, isn't it?"

Eren, not knowing what to do, nodded at him dumbly, watching the small smile that made its way on Rein's lips. "Good. At least I'm the only one who spent it worrying over nothing. I bet the two of you had a good time."

"Rein, I'm sorry—"

"Are you sorry that you spent your whole day with Eren?" Rein cut me off, the smile on his lips earlier now gone and replaced with a frown.

"I don't, but—"

"Then don't say sorry. You don't have to." I saw him sighed, looking at his phone first then putting it inside his pocket before he returned his attention to us. He looked at me first and let his gaze linger on me for a while before he turned to look at Eren, who subconciously moved a little closer to me, closing the space between us.

"Say, Eren." Eren stiffened when his name was called.

"What is it?

"Do you think I can borrow Levi for the night?"

I tilted my head to look up to Eren who's currently wearing a confused look on his face. "Huh? What are you saying?"

"Don't you think you had more than enough time with him today? Do you not want me to spend time with him? I guess it's fair to demand it. I mean, both of us are practically pursuing him, right?" He set his eyes on Eren who on the other hand was still confused at the situation. I wouldn't blame him. I'm also confused to see Rein acting like this. What's gotten into him to act like this?

"I'm not the one to decide for that matter—"

"I'm only asking a question that is unanswerable by yes or no. That's the only answer I want to hear, Eren. Cut the chase and just tell me."

Eren looked down at me. He seemed to be looking for an answer, wanting to know if I would give him permission or not. I gave him a subtle nod in response. He let a small smile show before he turned his gaze at Rein again. "Okay. It's fine as long as Levi would allow it."

"Is that okay with you, Levi?" I nodded at Rein in response, watching as the corner of his lips lifted to form a small smile. However, I couldn't help but notice that it didn't reach his eyes.

"Good. I'll give you time to say goodbye to Eren." Giving us one last nod, he took his phone out and started tapping on it again in a hurried pace, breaking his attention away from us.

We took it as a signal for us to take our time and let Eren leave. We were silent as we made our way back to where Eren's car was, walking side by side with a foot distance between us.

"Rein was acting kinda weird tonight, don't you think?" Eren broke the silence and stopped walking, turning to look at me once we reached his car. He just voiced out what I was currently wondering.

I sighed, leaning back on his car before running my fingers through my black locks. Still as confused as Eren at his twin's behavior, I nodded at his statement. "Yeah... I guess."

He took a step forward, closing in the distance between us, leaving a little distance between us but not enough to feel his breath on my skin. Hesitating at first, he took my hand in his and squeezed it softly in a comforting manner.

"Are you sure that you want to be with him?" He was giving me an unsure look, his turquoise eyes reflecting his worry clearly. But what I did next wasn't the one he's expecting to see.

"What the fuck are you saying?" I withdrew my hand away from his, glaring. "Why are you even asking me that? Just because I spent the fucking day with you doesn't mean that I will choose you over him."

Right then and there, Eren looked like I just stabbed him with a sharp knife. The worried look withered away and he looked so hurt, his eyes flashing his pain. I watched as his eyebrows furrowed, lips turning into a straight line. His body became stiff before it slowly slackened, arms falling to his side as he looked down, shadows casted over his face.

Even I was surprised by my own action. Why the fuck did I do that? Why am I letting my emotions and confusion take over me, let it dictate my actions and in the end leave me hurting them more and more with every single fucking thing I do?

Panic bubbled inside me and I quickly took his hand. "Fuck, Eren, I'm sorry—"

"You're right, Levi. I don't have any right to tell you who you're going to spend your time with. I'm getting ahead of myself just because you let me be with you for the day." This time, Eren was the one who took his own hand away from mine. His hands were shaking, breath hitching when he took a deep breath. "And I was an idiot to even think that maybe I'll get the chance to have you."

"No, Eren. I'm sorry, I didn't fucking mean to say that!"

He looked up and stared right back at me, his eyes full of tears threatening to fall any moment. "But that doesn't make it any less true."

I faltered at his response, my heart clenching as I process his words over and over again. What he said was true, right? That I still can't make up my own fucking mind, that I still haven't make my decision yet. The more I think of it, the more I realize how pathetic it is. How fucking pathetic I am for being such a fucking coward. How fucking pathetic I am for hurting two of the most important people in my life.

"Thank you for spending the day with me, Levi." His voice pulled me out of my thoughts. He was looking at me with a smile etched on his lips, but his eyes still held the hurt it has earlier. "Happy birthday and merry Christmas, Levi."

Without waiting for my reply, he opened the car door and went inside, turning the ignition on. I was at a loss of words, unable to do anything as I watched his car drove away with one sight plaguing my mind; the tear I saw rolling down his cheek as he went inside his car.

I stood there for fuck knows how long, my eyes still trained on the street that Eren vanished to earlier. I thought that this would be a good day for the two of us, filled with nothing but happiness as we leave our worries behind, but somehow I still managed to fuck it all up and let him leave crying. Let him leave with his broken heart broken once again by my words.

Feeling a hand rest on my shoulder, I looked back to see Rein behind me.

"Are you okay?" His voice was laid with genuine worry and I couldn't help but feel unworthy of it.

Despite feeling the opposite, I nodded letting out another sigh. "Yeah." I started walking over to my house, Rein threading along beside me. "What are you doing here at this time, Rein?"

He didn't answer until we're in standing in front of the front door. "I knew that it's your birthday today so I decided to give you a surprise." Opening the door, my eyes met nothing but darkness. I stepped inside and reached for the switch to turn the lights on, my eyes adjusting to the sudden brightness. When I could see clearly, I was surprised by what I saw.

The living room was decorated. The first thing I noticed was the big banner written with "Happy Birthmas, Levi!" in the middle of the room, being kept in place by the balloons it was attached to. The floor was littered with petals of red rose, with a big heart shape on the floor beneath the banner. There's a bouquet of red roses and a small box placed in the middle of the heart. It was placed just right and perfectly to catch anyone's attention.

Once I got over my surprise, guilt started to take over me. Rein prepared all of this for me as a gift for my fucking birthday.

"I talked with Hanji about this to get their help. I asked them to keep you busy while I prepare this and they agreed to help. They went here first and saw that no one's home so we just assumed that you went somewhere and will be back in just a few hours. When it was getting late and we still can't contact you, we got worried."

"Rein..."

"I didn't expect to see you with Eren though." He let out a small chuckle, shaking his head. "It doesn't matter though. What's important is that you're safe."

Swallowing the lump that formed in my through, I let out a small, almost inaudible 'sorry'.

"It's fine, Levi. Let's just spend this few remaining hours left to celebrate." He smiled and took my left hand in his, pulling me with him. We padded along the rose-covered floor, making our way to the middle of the living room.

Bending down, he took the bouquet and the small box from the floor. He smiled down at me as he gave me the bouquet, my hand reaching out reluctantly to take it. When his other hand is free, he opened the small box, taking out a simple band of silver with my name inscribed in cursive in the silver plate along the band.

"I don't know what to give you as a gift so I just had your name written on it. I know it's simple, but I hope that you like it." He wore the silver bracelet to my wrist, letting the cold metal rest against my skin. I remained silent, unable to take everything in but still feeling unworthy of his efforts.

"Thank you..." His smile grew larger at my words, pulling me into a hug. His arms wrapped around me gently, his chin resting on my shoulder.

"You're welcome, Levi." Pulling back a little, he left a chaste kiss on my forehead before completely pulling away, once again taking my hand as he led me to the kitchen. Even the kitchen was decorated with petals, scented candle scattered around the place, illuminating the room in warm light. There was food resting on the table, set fancily across each other with a candle in between them.

He walked me to my seat, pulling my chair out and letting me seat on it before going to his place in front of mine. I took the fork and knife resting on the side of my plate and he started eating as I stared at the food in front of me. My appetite lost as the heavy feeling inside my chest worsened in every minute that pass.

"Aren't you going to eat? Do you not like it?"

I shook my head. "No. I'm just thinking."

"You should eat even just a little." He smiled at me. I tried to smile back, but found out that I couldn't. So I just nodded at him.

When we started eating (more like nibbling, at least for me), we fell into silence with nothing but the occasional clanking of the utensils. It didn't help me in controlling my thoughts, letting it went to overdrive.

So many things happened today that I just couldn't take anything in. I was happy, contented, then I made Eren cry and now I'm eating with Rein with the heavy feeling inside my chest.

Then my mind went over to Eren. What is he doing right now? Is he still crying over what I said?

I looked at Rein. With his face being the same as Eren's, I couldn't help but picture Eren instead of him. The pained look on his face, the way he held his tears back until he thought that he was out of my sight. My hands clenched around the utensils in response.

"So Levi," I looked at Rein who's wearing a small smile. "Tell me about your day."

"Huh?" I sounded like a complete, utter idiot, but I couldn't help it. I am still out of my mind.

"I want to know how you spent your birthday. I want to know if you're happy." With him. I knew that he left that part unsaid but I understood it perfectly. I took a few sips of water to quench my suddenly dried throat.

"I... okay." I took a deep breath before I started talking. "When I woke up earlier, I received a few messages greeting me. I took my tea as usual and took a bath before deciding to read. Then Eren. He came here and asked me if I could spend the day with him, saying that he wanted to forget and all that shit. We fought at first, but then I decided to just give in and spend the day with him." Rein was watching me intently, nodding along as I continued talking.

I narrated what happened today, where we went and what we did, leaving the talk I had with Eren before we went back here. As I talked about the events, I didn't notice that a small smile was able to make its way to my lips, lifting the corners of my mouth as I reminded myself of what happened.

When I finished talking, Rein is still looking at me with a smile, although it's a little sadder now. He seemed to space out, lost in his own world since he still hasn't talked after I finished telling him what happened.

"Rein?"

He snapped out of his trance, looking lost for a moment before he focused his attention back to me. "Oh, sorry. I'm not feeling too well."

Even though not fully believing his alibi, I nodded. "Do you want to rest now? You can sleep here for tonight."

"I would gladly accept that offer. But before that, can I ask you something?"

"Go on."

"Can we dance?" He looked at me with hopeful eyes, one that I couldn't seem to refuse.

"Okay." Both of us stood up and he led me back to the living room. I stood in the middle of the room as he set the speakers ready. When a soft music started to resonate through the room, he went to where I'm currently standing. Rein placed his hands on my waist and I placed mine on his shoulders. We started swaying along the music, feet doing synching steps as we danced in the living room.

"Happy birthday, Levi." His voice was low, quiet as if not to break the serene atmosphere created between us.

"Thank you. I love your gift. It was nice."

He buried his face into my neck and I can feel him smiling. "Glad to know that."

The song came to its end and another one started up. His arms made its way to my back, wrapping around my waist as he pulled me closer to him. We were now flushed against each other, the side of my face resting on his chest. I can feel the fast beating of his heart thumping against his chest.

"Levi..." I hummed, letting him know that I heard him. "You know that I told you I would wait for you, right?"

"...yeah."

"I don't think that I can wait for too long. It's hard to keep on fighting without a even a little assurance that I would even win. I want to hear it from you, Levi."

My feet stopped moving, halting our dance to a stop. His grip on me loosened and I took it as the opportunity to pull away. I looked into his eyes.

I know what he wanted me to say. I know those words, has said it before to Eren, but I wasn't ready to say it to him. I love him, but not in the way that he wanted me to.

"I—" I stopped, not able to say it. Dropping my gaze to the floor, I avoided his gaze.

All he wanted was a reassurance. All he wanted to know is to know that he's not fighting a losing game. That should've been easy to do.

But I couldn't do it.

"Why can't you say it? Don't you know how fucking much that hurts, Levi?"

Suddenly, his hands took my face and pulled me into him, connecting his lips to mine. My eyes widen, not expecting the gesture and I felt all the air in my lungs escaped me.

He bit my lip, making me gasp out and he slipped his tongue into my mouth. Once my mind took hold of the situation, I started to struggle against him, pushing him away from me.

"W-ait! R-rein. St-stop it!" I managed to gasp out. Forcing more strength, I pushed him away, watching him tumble a few steps back. I wiped my mouth as he looked at me with wide eyes.

"Shit, I'm sorry Levi! I didn't mean to do that!" He shot up to his feet and walked to me, eyes wide in panic and worry. I can see that he was mad at himself, muttering something to himself angrily as he took my hand.

"Fuck, I'm really sorry, Levi. I didn't mean it, please, forgive me—"

"It's okay, rein. I get it. You didn't mean it. I forgive you."

"But—"

"Do you want me to forgive you or not?"

"I want you to."

"Then just shut up and let it go." He nodded and we both fell into silence.

"I'm tired. Let's go rest." I started walking and he followed suit, walking along behind me. I went to my room and walked straight to the cabinet where I put some of my clothes in. After taking a pair of sweatpants, a shirt and a boxer for myself, I took another set of clothes for Rein, which was originally Eren's, along with an unused underwear.

After preparing it along with a towel, I handed it to him. "You can take a shower in the guest room. After that, come back here. We'll sleep together."

"But—"

"We're not going to do anything. Just go shower, brush your teeth and we'll sleep. We're both tired now."

He didn't say anything and just nodded in response. Once he left, I also made my way to the bathroom. Removing my clothes, I let the water relax me. I took my time in showering until I feel clean enough, brushed my teeth before I went out.

When I stepped out I saw Rein already sitting on my bed, the towel resting on his head as he stared at the floor, looking lost in his own thoughts. I dried my hair a little more before I went to him, taking the towel from his head before hanging it.

Without another word, I went to my bed and lay down. Rein just looked at me, looking like a child asking for instructions.

"Just lay here, dammit."

He crawled closer to me before laying down beside me. The lights were off except from the lights on my nightstand. We were facing each other, looking at each other silently.

Rein let out a sigh. "I'm really sorry about earlier. I didn't know why I did that."

"I told you, it's fine. We all do things unintentionally sometimes."

"Can I hug you?" He ran his hand through my hair gently.

Sighing, I leaned into his touch. "Okay."

He scooted closer to me, wrapping an arm around my waist. "Thank you, Levi. Good night."

"Good night, Rein."

Closing my eyes, I felt exhaustion wash over me, making sleep creep into me.

Before I was able to fall unconscious, I heard him whisper something that made my chest tighten.

"Happy birthday, Levi. I love you. Don't forget that."

*****

The next day I woke up, Rein's not sleeping beside me.

I searched for him throughout the house but saw no trace of him. Even the petals on the floor and the mess we left behind last night were gone.

"Where the hell are you?"

When I reached the kitchen, I saw a plate of pancakes along with a cup of tea. It was still hot, meaning Rein only left just now. A small note was resting beside it.