I know what your thinking

I know where your imagination goes

You thinking of how smashing I am. I know babe, its okay. Smash it.

The last couple days I've torn into pieces 'More than Imagined' by .

TLDR; An ambitious and fascinating semi-original piece on a futuristic society that takes heavy inspiration from Divergent, Maze Runner, Hunger Games, and just about every other teen book/movie/tv-series I've heard of.

Main Character: Semi-smashing? - I have never seen such a fascinating combination of pure unfiltered and concentrated Nihilism, Heroism, Narcissicism, outright bitchyness, daddy issues, and holier-than-thou pride shoved into such a tiny body as this. Every word is at once in character, shallow, and makes me sit on the edge of my seat just waiting for someone with self-respect to punch her teeth out. She has more flaws than strengths but there is enough there for me to want her to come out as a half-way descent human later and for me to recognize there is hope and that she isn't a villain. Just young and stupid and has never been taught discipline or told 'no'. Overall a very good character. Her dreams and wishes and ambitions are clear from the start, but after some events occur that take her out of the comfort of what she knows into what she doesn't know, then cracks appear in both her and the story as she has to, more or less, rebuild herself from the ground up. This period then flaws as there isn't much in the way of reflection, opinion, or anything from her. She acts in character and changes into someone you love to hate, but there is never a point where she agrees or disagrees with what happens or what she finds or has an actual opinion. When she learns life-alterig and perspective-changing information, there is no reaction as if it never happened. Save once, when she goes on a bit of a run outside, but thats the only time she has an actual reaction or opinion on... anything. She just goes through the motions like a puppet. This lacking of reflection or opinion or reaction unfortunately cannot work because what she has gone through is go from an old person into a new person. She goes through a kind of baptism where the old dies and the new rises... and while the new version of her is different based on her new perspectives, it doesn't go all the way into proper exploration and reflection and decisions being made based on this new perspective. Its not presented as a failing on her growth, like a person who stubbornly tries to hold to the old, but as complete apathy and the changes just... happen. Because reasons.

There is a second problem with the MC beyond how her change is handled, and this comes more as a combination of the world building with her, in that it makes absolutely no sense what stage of growth she is at, if the story can even make a decision on what that growth stage is. There are times she is presented as completely ignorant and so poor she can only afford three meals a month, and other times as someone with the economy and understanding to have a PHD in multiple sciences and leader in various fields. There are times she is presented as completely disciplined and respectful as a nun and other times as the streotypical cheerleader squad leader that runs the school by simply being the biggest bitch of them all. As stated she is purely nihilistic, narcicistic, and filled with hollow self-entitled heroism, which is a fascinating and great combination, but the different moments these contradictory traits come out do not succeed to reinforce them into a well-rounded character, but bring them in further conflict with one another, and everything the world presents us with, so I can only scratch my head and wonder what she is actually supposed to be. This isn't a sign of great mystery, but great contradiction.

Side Characters: Smashing! - The side characters, to which there are many, are beautiful. Some made me sympathize, some made me laugh, some felt like old friends, some I wasn't fond of (they were written well, but they are the kind of people you dont like), and some made me question. They all have a role to play in the MCs life and they succeed in that, allowing her plenty of oppurtunity to bounce off of them. She does engage with them, but the MC comes up short in using them meaningfully to grow or reflect or change so the engagements come up shallow from her end. Which... to be fair, I'm not saying she should go from Point A to Point Z in a few chapters, but she hasn't even gone from A to B since she started despite many attempts on the plot and SCs part to get her stepping forward as a character. Its well done from the SCs side, at least. They make sense. Their wills and ambitions and personalities are (almost) all clear. They act in character both with and against the narrative, which makes them feel more alive, and in so doing they bring vibrancy to the world building and plot.

Grammar and word usage: Smashing! - Didn't see any issues. Nothing popped out at me enough to hold up reading the story. It flowed well.

World Building: Semi-smashing? - The World Building is at once both the strongest trait of the story and one of its biggest flaws. The story is in an original world and the way the world building is presented is, I'd say 90% of the time, done very well. There is some information dumping, but its sprinkled so much and done so delicaltely I didn't feel burdened or bogged down by it. Every SC is consistent within the universe and its rules, so they reinforce the World Building beautifully. The WB provides a strong foundation to the story and it brings all sorts of mystery, structure, plot, horrors, and fascination to it. It is, unfortunately, where the WB and MC interact that brings about the biggest flaws because the two entities have a conflict where the WB says the world should be one way, but the MCs every trait, action, and dialogue screams otherwise because if the WB was as solid as it was, then the MC simply shouldn't exist as she does even within the rules of her own family, life, and culture as she herself presents them. Her very existance takes the universe as it is built up to be and shatters it, not by revealing flaws in the world that is natural and organic to any world, but by artifically making them herself where they didnt exist before.

The only time her existance doesn't ruin the WB is the training arc... because it makes absoltely no sense from beginning to end regardless of her influence. Without spoiling anything her teachers set out to train her towards a goal in a set period of time, but then don't actually once train her towards that goal, actually making it seemingly illigal to do so without saying its illigal, and set expectations that are so ludicrious it boggles the mind. Its like a 1st grade math teacher saying the goal is for the student to grasp multivariate calculus in two days by... bird watching. I spent every chapter of the arc so far facepalming because of the teachers and their expectations and methods, resulting in a poor plot because the foundation of that plot in the arc from the teachers is absurd. The SCs and MCs actions during this period don't make sense, not because of their own faults, but because what they are given to work with as plot and WB is abusive at best and as absurd as a drugged up hippy's mind at worst.

Plot: Semi-smashing - The plot, like the WB, is both good and bad depending on the MCs engagement. Every element outside of the MC is great. The plot works well with the WB to make sense of the world, what the current events are, what their motivations are, where they are going and taking their various ambitions and desires, and basically takes the world and makes it active. This is excellent. The WB feels alive because it actively engages with you through its events and its SCs. The ideas at play make sense, are fascinating and ambitious and reaching for the sky. It has a few minor rough patches to work out, but for a story as ambitious as this is trying to be in tackling so many grand elements, its easily ignored rough edges. Even the best stories have a few narrative flaws. (Example: Star Wars Leia is expected to comfort Luke after he loses Kenobi... despite her entire planet and family and friends blown up seemingly hours ago.)

The problem with the plot unfortunately comes in... you guessed it, where the MC steps in. Her existance contradicts everything about the WB so the plot, that uses the WB to direct where it goes and where it starts, is equally broken and illogical. Its like Medusa looking at everything and turning it from life to stone... not because it was weak or made no sense or broken, but because her very existance, her being, her knowledge, her construction as a character entering into second-life destroys everything to make room for herself because she. Simple. Shouldn't. Exist. if the plot or WB even for a second had anything to say about it.

The reason being that there is no explanation for why she is what she is, she simply IS. No time is put into making her out to be the exception. She is even treated as the norm... where her very existance as the 'norm' says one thing is the 'norm' while the plot, WB, and SCs all say something different. Its like picking up Naruto or Anakin Skywalker and dropping them in Game of Thrones via reincarnation by being born by dragon eggs, and everyone treats it like its an every day thing around these parts. The MC doesn't feel like a Mary Sue, I don't get red-flags outside of her bitchy behavior constantly allowed to be validated and justified for no reason, but she does have that universe-shattering contradictory element about her that many have.

Overall I would rate it 3 smashing out of 5!

The WB is deep and thought out. The SCs and plot work together to both make it feel alive, and reinforce it at every turn. The MC is heavily flawed as a person, but thats perfectly fine, if not great. She is proactive (which is great), but the proactivity could use meaning to have purpose. Its just the MC, merely by being given the traits she has, and having those traits treated like they are for everyone, or are entirely without question, shatters everything the WB, plot, and SCs try to build around her.

It has potential for 4/5, but it would take practically rebuilding the MC from the ground up. Which I don't see many authors willing to do.

I'm out with a smashing!

If you are interested in learning to write, mastering the craft, want some really good reads, or just to chat and hang out with a mature group of adults, feel free to hit me up for a smashing discord book club that has lasted years.