Drivers? Where we Smash, we won't be needing drivers. The smashing will always take us where we need to go.

I recently took the time to burn through another request. Guardium by SeanScruffy. It is an ongoing story, but I have read 20 of the available 29 chapters.

TLDR; An interesting mix of scifi and fantasy, of ancient myths and future times, of religion and science, combined into a truly intriguing prospect.

Overall I'd rate it 3 smashing out of 5. Its strengths balance its weaknesses.

World Building - Semi-Smashing - The first and most obvious thing the story presents is the setting. It is a story that attempts to combine ancient myths, pagan religion, science, fantasy, and sci-fi all at the same time. It sounds odd, but I found it intriguing because the story takes itself seriously enough to establish this well. It gives a little bit of information as to how it works, and then doesn't think too much further in-depth and risk poking holes in its own world. The story does have information dumps, but it is scattered around as needed and necessary for a world that is this different. In some ways it reminds me of Mass Effect meets Thor. Could the method of showing the universe be better? Sure. But under the circumstances it is okay to get the information dumped crudely in order to more quickly bring you up to speed. The author also doesn't even bother explaining some alien things, but lets the context fill in the blanks or lets your own imagination decide what it means. Not every alien is described in detail, for example, beyond the specific details you need to know based on the event happening. Does the alien have scales? Don't know, don't care, don't matter, but it has multiple eyes on stalks and when one of them turns to look at ya, that's good to know. But in the end the story premise is a truly unique and untapped goldmine of potential, exploring a theme I have never, ever seen before, and the author succeeds in making it his own.

Main Characters - Semi-Smashing - The main character is a young man or teenager that is a would-be prophet to an ancient god that has awoken in the aftermath of earth's devistation. Right off the top the idea of what the MC is supposed to be and do is fascinating. As a Christian the idea of a MC that is a prophet, not a soldier or king or disney princess or whatever, is fascinating. It offers a special dynamic of role and relationships that is rarely explored well in stories. However there is what the character's role is, and then there is the character himself. Just because you got a prophet dude doesn't mean the dude is developed well outside of his job. So how does the MC do as a character? I would say well. The MC is not explored emotionally within the narrative nor internal dialogue, but by his actions mostly, and his actions show him to be an amazingly human and relatable person. Despite his role requiring he insert none of himself into his job to just be an empty mouthpiece to gods, he is full of assumptions, suspicions, fear, anxiety, impatience, and more so he really can't help but put himself into it. He wants to do the best he can do, but his own zeal is his worst enemy. Amazingly there is no bad guy for the longest time. His own humanity and flaws, as well as just general politics, is the antagonist. He has a bit of supernatural power, but the power is not of himself, but from his relationship with his god. He has the kind of relationship where he can become a vessel for his gods will or even extend his own soul-ghost-power-something like the Force. This can come across as being OP as crap, but the way the story handles it is by attributing it as a relationship privilege's rather than him just being superman who can go pew pew. So this brings that slight unspoken tension that if he ever angers god, his privileges go bye bye.

Which, also has a problem. He lacks faith in others, he is quick to jump to conclusions, he is brash, and so many problems. yet none of them result in negative consequences nor learning oppurtunities. Instead his very traits that make him flawed and a poor person in his job result in the story progressing, validating them instead of marking them as errors to be remedied. This makes him a tragedy as his lie is validated, but the story treats him like a hero for it instead. So the philosophy of the story is that its a good thing to think everything is a conspiracy and trust no one?

Side Characters - Meh - There are a fair number of side characters. At times they can be confusing. Because some of them are only mentioned for a brief time, some of them are mentioned more but have similar ways of acting, roles, and speech, and then you apparently got one that was another prophet I didn't know was another prophet for like four chapters! haha I kept confusing blue-dude with the MC because I was like "wait I thought he was the prophet? Which one is it?" Turns out it was kinda both. After I came to realize that, he was easier to deal with. Then you have the magistrate/leader ladie, and I like her. She is a good character most of all. Personality, as a role, as how she is portrayed emotionally, how her slightly unique traits are both alien but offer more to 'humanizing' her.

But then you you have the god which... I can't tell if she is a side character, a main character, a force of nature (thereby being world building), or plot, because she doesnt say or do much of anything at any point that I've seen. The god doesnt really do much in the way of communication. Its comical how there is a big deal about a character whose entire role is to be the mouth piece of a god... that is mute. Honestly, I didn't like Gaia.

To be fair, with a mystery box as big as a god, it is a tricky thing on how to write one properly, and her way of communicating is extremely surreal, but it also just lacks solid enough portrayel to make it clear what kind of role the god has. Even the prophet has a difficult time understanding, and that single fact keeps the god from being a good character. A good character that isn't portrayed well, whether it be due to writing failure or the prophet being a noob at his job, then you can't see them as the good character they need to be. Its mysterious, but also supposed to act as a solid foundation to the story, and as a fundamental foundation to the story, it needs less mystery and more visible attributes to build up from. (Like God visibly portrayed himself a cloud and fire-tornado before Israel, because there needed to be 'something' for them to latch onto.)

Gaia is presented as a big deal and as a huge character, but is so invisible and confusing to understand, like she speaks a language even the translator doesn't get, that it takes away everything that can make her one, so a fundamental foundation of the story is removed from the start. I do realize the story is ongoing and the prophet has a way to go, but at this stage it is not much to work from and the first couple acts suffer as a result, especially after the prophet meets her, and it is only worse as she falls off the face of the story.

Grammar and Word Usage - WIP - The story is undergoing editing at the same time as more chapters are coming in. So while there is grammar issues in the unedited chapters, they are vritually gone in the edited ones, and I will leave that alone. The author is aware of most of what I would say. Most. There is still some issues that exist in the edited ones. The author puts in painstaking effort to bring an alien universe to life, portrays exotic imagery and culture and creatures all being slapped together through the eyes of an outsider while trying to balance there being needless, but interesting, information with important stuff. I do not, for a second, think this easy nor without clear effort. However, there is so many times I'm completely lost in the imagery, that is described oddly so I cant actually visualize it, and combines it with action, so that the moment something happens without imagery, it feels like we teleported without a scene transition. We can be on a ship and next moment a maybe-wall where there happen to be a ton of sacred vines nearby. We can be in a room and then a hall and maybe inside the wall or a vent and then are we outside falling through flying cars or no wait are we on a patio-thingy overlooking things or an elevator oh wait we are in a cafeteria and- boom we inside the inventory room and there is a pot at some point and wtf. When did this happen? What is happening??? Weren't we just ouside talking to people or... The best example I can think of is the Transformer movies where the moment something happens there is so much movement, so much visually happening, so many explosions, that I spend the entire movie going "WTF IS HAPPENING?????" And then combine all of this odd scene movement with the fact the MC can separate his spirit from his body kinda-sorta-maybe, and it wasn't presented in a way I could understand at one point but suddenly we got control of a robot (when did the robot show up???) pointing guns at people. Which isn't helped by the fact that I didn't know a pod-hound was a robot until act 11.5. I was so confused all the time. I thought it was a random plant that kept popping up all over the damn place! xD

This is a story that needs to be read. Very. Very. Slowly. Or else you will have no idea what is happening two sentences later. If you can keep up, the imagery is beautiful, if you can't, you won't have the slightest idea what is happening, pretty much ever.

Plot - Tone Deaf - The plot starts off really freaking cool and down a central main plot. You got a would-be prophet graduating from being an apprentice-sort-of to meet his god, become her mouth piece, and then... well do what she orders and say what she says. Simple but fascinating and full of so much potential for something truly unique. His own mistakes and humanity is his biggest problems as he easily assumes her intentions or put words in her mouth, which is kinda a no no for a translator. You don't even need an antagonist. The entire story can easily revolve around their relationship. But then you got mystery prophets that once existed or do exist already that kinda have their own agenda's and dont quite seem fully committed to the will of Gaia. Okay, cool.

Then you got huge-ass conspiracies out of the blue based on non-existant MC motivations. He hears some people whispering words he doesn't understand... IN AN ALIEN CULTURE! That is like me going to china, hearing people speak chinese, and instantly assume they are planning the downfall of Japan because they don't speak english. They could be comparing tofu recipes for all we know, but, without even giving the audience any sense of tension or gravity of the situation, it has to be a big deal. Because reasons. Could it be the aliens want to kill him? Don't know, the MC doesn't have any reason to think so nor is a reason given. Could it be the downfall of humanity or an invasion of earth? Don't know, the MC doesn't have a reason to think so. He just assumes and makes enemies, and when he finally finds out what is going on (after possessing machines and pointing guns at people and making a huge scene against the leaders of the known galaxy) it. Is. Nothing. The entire conspiracy he envisioned, or more accurately didn't envision but couldn't help but think existed because no reason, turned out to be a joke. Why? What motivated him to do any of this? What made him think there was a threat? And what kind of threat? Didn't know when it started and dont know after. It is one thing to have a mystery without answers, but this was a mystery without questions. And there are no negative consequences for him assuming the whole conspiracy in his head so.... what's the point of any of this?

And then suddenly, unrelated to the previous so-called conspiracy, we got real ones against a group called "The Powers".

All while the god we had been building up to kinda lets us down like a wimpy fart as the most she does is blow air through his hair. That gives me nothing. That tells me nothing. What is she doing here? Is she the one in control of the relationship, or even a key component to it, or is she just Navi in the prophet's ear going "hey!"

So what kind of story is this? What is the main plot? What is the philosophy of the story? What is its theme? Is it about the relationship between a god and her prophet? Is it about a prophet and other prophets and Gaia? Is it about politics? Is it about conspiracies? Is he a detective or fighter or prophet? Is it a romance? (If not then why in the ever living hell bring up his sexual preferences as being lgbt+++ in such a short-lived and useless manner that goes absolutely nowhere and has nothing to do with the story at any point unless to get fan service and jump on bandwagons to make him cool?? Either stuff like this is a central, defining part of his character and story arc or else it isn't worth wasting space by being put in. Choose one and stick with it. This is virtue signaling.)

Don't know. The tone changes drastically every few chapters so much its like completely different stories with completely different characters with an MC that is a quiet, soft spoken monk one moment who has daddy issues, and then he is suddenly a sherlock holmes that shoots first and asks questions later who loves his daddy, and then he is suddenly a star fighter pilot from alderaan who never knew his daddy, and then suddenly he is a swashbuckling rogue bounty hunter with a robot-dog-turret sidekick. The tone of the story and MC changes so much its basically different people and stories entirely one chapter to the next, or multiple different MCs and stories smashed together in one. Nothing is clear. The motivations are non-existent most of the time. The narrative is all over the place.

If you had multiple, seperate, MCs with seperate motivations going down their own plot lines towards a central convergence, then it would work. But we got 4+ seperate plot lines with their own tones and requirements having the same MC, all at the same time. Not even with them naturally flowing into one another as cause-and-effect, but popping up at random because reasons. Because of this I don't know what the story is supposed to be or do, and it feels like the author has a hard time knowing as well, or else the author wants the MC to be play-doh to be molded into anything and everything needed for the chapter. That's like saying Frodo is Sam, Pippen, Gandalf, Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn, Boromir, and Merry all at the same time as the situation calls for it. It doesn't work like that.

Overall I love the story. I love what it is trying to tell. It is really really freakin cool! But telling it is another matter entirely and I spent most of the time being confused by the plot or way the imagry/action/transition was handled than anything else.

I'm out with a smashing!

If you are interested in learning to write, mastering the craft, want some really good reads, or just to chat and hang out with a mature group of adults, feel free to hit me up for a smashing discord book club that has lasted years.