《Every Letters, Every Words (Collection of One-Shots)》Letters and Words #16
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| Martyr |
"Earth to Alice!" sigaw ni Ethel sa akin. I sigh. Lutang na naman ako.
"Lutang lang girl?" segunda naman ni Cass sa akin at pinapak ang binili naming chips dito sa canteen.
'E paano ba naman, nakita ko lang naman kaninang may kasamang babae si Theo, ang long time crush ko since grade school. Kagaya ng mga tipikal na babaeng may crush 'e talagang masasaktan ako.
"Magsalita ka naman, girl. Napipi ka na ba o sadyang nalunod ka na sa pagmamahal mo kay The--" nanlaki ang mga mata ko at agad tinakpan ang bibig ni Cass ng sinabi niya iyon dahil dadaan si Theo kasama ang isang mukhang modelong babae.
Ng makadaan sila ay nakahinga agad ako ng maluwag. Buti at hindi niya narinig kundi lagot na ako. Baka mailang lang siya sa akin at hindi ako papayag na mangyari iyon. Never as in never.
"Oh, here comes the hot transferee." untag ni Ethel at lumingon sa entrance ng canteen. Umirap na lang ako at kumuha na lang ng chips at agad itong kinain. Nags-stress eating na ata ako dahil lang sa crush ko. Hays.
Ramdam kong parang napatigil silang dalawa sa pagkain at nanlalaki ang mga matang tumingin sa akin. Pinagtaasan ko sila ng kilay. Anong ka-OA-yan na naman ang meron sa mga mukha nila?
"Can I talk to you, Alice?" agad akong tumayo at humarap sa lalaking ito.
"Okay." at agad akong naglakad papalabas ng canteen at dumiretso sa likod ng abandonadong arts room. Nakita ko naman siyang sumunod sa akin at mabuti na lang dahil walang sumunod na mga fangirls niya sa kanya.
"Ano naman ngayon ang pag-uusapan natin?" prangka kong tanong sa kanya. Noong nakaraang araw lang ng huli naming pag-uusap at doon niya lang in-inform sa akin na magta-transfer siya sa school ko.
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"Please, lumayo ka na sa kanya. Ayokong ikaw ang sunod niyang lokohin. Ayokong lokohin ka ng kapatid ko." nagmamakaawa niyang sabi sa akin. Nginisihan ko siya at tumawa ng payak.
"Lumayo? Aasahan mo akong lumayo kay Theo? Ha! Dahil ba sa gusto mo ako kaya gusto mo akong lumayo sa kany--" pinutol niya agad ang sinabi ko.
"Oo! Hindi lang gusto kundi mahal na kita! Ayokong nakikita kang nasasaktan dahil sa kapatid ko. Marami siyang nilalarong mga babae at ayokong maging isa ka sa kanila! Hindi mo ba ako nakikita? I can love you more than anyone else. Higit pa sa pagmamahal mo sa kanya." tumulo ang luha sa kanyang mga mata pero awa lang ang nararamdaman ko at hindi pagmamahal.
"Sorry, Tim. Hindi ko maturuan ang puso kong magmahal ng iba dahil nakuha na ni Theo ang puso ko. Oo, nasasaktan ako dahil sa kanya pero okay lang kasi mahal ko siya. Ganito naman diba? Kapag mahal mo ang isang tao, wala ka ng pakialam kahit na saktan ka pa ng paulit-ulit. Martir na kung martir pero ganito talaga, e." sabi ko sa kanya at maglalakad na sana paalis ng hawakan niya ang kamay ko.
"Akala ko ay mamahalin mo rin ako pabalik pero hindi naman pala. I'm sorry kung pinilit kitang mahalin ako kahit na alam kong hindi pwede. I'm so sorry, Alice. Ganito rin ako, martir kahit alam kong walang kasiguraduhan. Kahit na alam kong ako ang matatalo sa dulo." sabi niya bago binitawan ang aking kamay.
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