《|| BNHA Imagines ||》Kirishima Eijirou || Wavering.
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WARNING: IF YOU GET TRIGGERED BY THE TOPIC OF TRANSGENDERS/TRANSPHOBIA DO NOT READ.
im not even gonna lie, i cried while writing this. good luck to the rest of you...
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You finally finished your homework, sighing in relief as you leaned back in your chair. Kirishima practically fell off his chair, doing the same. You chuckled, yawning.
"Phew, I'm tired..." You said, rubbing your eyes. The large floor-to-ceiling windows let the orange, bright hues into the dining area as the sun set behind the buildings nearby, letting you know that night was beginning to fall.
"Mhm... Wanna go play some video games before curfew?" Kirishima asked after taking a sip of his fizzy, sugary and sweet soda. It made his throat hurt a bit, but tasted euphoric. You nodded tiredly, closing your binders and textbooks.
"Sure, but let me just go change out of my uniform first and then I'll meet you at your dorm. Sound good, Kiri?" You hummed, eyebrows arching a bit. He agreed, saying he'd go get a snack and change.
You grabbed your books, holding them by your waist as you adjusted your skirt and made your way past the commons area, where 1-A chilled and watched TV.
For some reason, you felt eerily calm today, the sunset only adding to that ambience surrounding your demeanor. The door quietly closed behind you as you sighed, foraging for a comfortable outfit. Eventually, you came across an oversized shirt that was big enough to be a dress, and took it out along with some soft, fluffy slides.
As you took off your clothes, you couldn't help but as to... stare at yourself. When you were starch-naked, everything was exposed.
All the scars.
All the trauma.
Everything.
You leaned closer into the mirror, gently tracing the very prominent scars that ran along the underside of your breasts. It made you proud that... you were a woman, as weird as it was.
Because you weren't always one.
"I still remember the first time I saw my..." You looked down at your breasts, a giggle emerging. You used to be so dumbfounded by them, and didn't really know how to go about... having breasts for a few months...?
From male to female... and nobody knew.
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You wiped a tear or two away, mixed emotions swirling inside your stomach. You were so proud... but also so afraid. Transphobia existed, after all.
Anyone could've been transphobic, and you wouldn't know it. Even... Kirishima. Your best-friend. It made your heart clench even thinking about it.
In the midst of trying to calm yourself, only more tears appeared. This is hopeless. I can't help but as to be afraid, can I...
Kirishima got himself some Doritos to go with his soda, deciding he'd eat them when he got up to the dorm as he returned to your table, retrieving his drink. Only then had he noticed you'd left your pencil case, and smiled a little bit at your innocent forgetfulness.
He'd felt so lucky to have such a funny, caring, determined, and... cute... friend. You were truly his world. Everything revolved around you for him, whether you knew about it or not. He'd never reveal his feelings though.
Kirishima was too afraid.
Being there for you was his priority over his feelings. Even if it hurt sometimes.
Even if it was painful... he'd prefer being there for you rather then being rejected and never spoken to again.
He made his way up to your dorm, knocking on your door.
"Hello? You left your pencil case, (Y/N)." He said quietly, putting his ear against the door. It was silent.
Maybe you were at his dorm...?
Kirishima decided he'd just leave it at your desk, opening the door.
But what he didn't expect to see was you naked.
"AHHHHHHHHH!" You screamed, covering yourself frantically, dropping your clothing onto the floor in shock.
He was frozen, feeling himself go white in the face as he couldn't help but to glance down for a moment. But while he did... he saw... scars? Around your...
Wait...
Does that mean...
"AHHH! FUCKFUCKFUCK-" He came to the realization that he was staring, and slammed the door shut, stumbling and falling to the ground.
"How long was I staring for..." Kirishima face-palmed rather violently, his hand making a loud slapping noise. His face grew beet-red, embarrassment fuming from him.
After a minute or two of Kirishima fanning himself as he laid on the floor like a dumbass, he eventually stood up and just left the pencil case in front of your door, retreating to his dorm looking like a complete mess.
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You put on your clothes, before pacing the room.
"FUCK! Did he see my crying? My scars?" You talked to yourself, feeling nervous tears trail down from your cheeks onto the ground. Your breathing became irregular, lungs operating in uneven gasps and wheezes.
It took... a while, but you eventually calmed yourself. The after-math of your anxiety attack: a damp carpet, and runny makeup. You looked at yourself in the mirror once more, cursing as you wiped your makeup off with a wipe.
What a fucking mess...
You stepped out of your dorm, closing the door before stretching as your mind raced with thoughts. However, your exterior was exactly the same, and you had the same calm expression.
As you picked up your pencil case and examined it, the thought of him staring at your... made your cheeks redden almost instantly. You put the case down, feeling flustered now.
Do I still go to his dorm?
You debated over this for a minute, before deciding... you'd just tell him.
The slides you wore made a soft dragging sound as you made your way over to his dorm, trying to stay calm. Just breathe...
Just breathe.......
You knocked on his door very very softly, in hopes he wouldn't hear.
However, your prayers were not answered, and he very slowly opened the door, a quiet creaking sound coming from the door. He peeked through the crack, one eye staring at me for a moment.
"T-Thanks... for bringing my pencil case."
"Sorry for... I think you know what I'm sorry for." He said as he looked down, feeling slightly ashamed before opening the door. You went to your normal spot, sitting on the beanbag in front of his TV. Your feet sprawled out as you began to squirm and fidget, playing with your fingers nervously as he sat down beside you.
You felt his stare on the side of your head, making your fingers shake. You hid the shaking with the sleeves of your dress, leaning on Kirishima. He felt your arm shake very slightly, making him feel sad...
"S-So... I know this isn't my business at all, and I don't really want to pry, but... are you... transg-"
"Yes... yes.." You interrupted him quietly, feeling your teeth chatter now. Your hands went to your face instinctively, as you began to explain.
"I... didn't want you to know like this. I-I used to be a man... and if I'm being honest I-I wasn't g-going to tell y-you." You stuttered on almost every single word, your teeth chattering as though you were cold. Kirishima didn't say anything, gently taking your hands off your face.
Your sleeves were damp with fresh tears as you sighed and looked up at him, frowning.
"I'm tired of crying over this..." The words escaped like a whisper, as you laughed sadly, not helping but as to hiccup and let a tiny cry out.
Kirishima turned so that he was facing me, and exhaled, before cupping my face so that I'd look at him in the eyes.
"Listen, (Y/N). I don't care what you are now, nor what you were before. You're (Y/N), and you'll never ever change in my eyes. I... I love you with everything I have, and this wouldn't change anything. D-Don't think just because you're transgender I'd love you less. I love you more... because this shows me how strong you are, okay?" Kirishima practically rambled, watching how with every sentence your face crumbled bit by bit and you began to cry louder.
You put your face in his beanbag, feeling embarrassed by your own sobbing as you let your cries out. Kirishima felt himself cry a bit as he rubbed your back, allowing you to let it out.
And so you did.
You let out the anguish, pain, and suffering.
All the minutes spent thinking about the possibility of rejection. All the sleepless nights crying over the anxiety of losing people so close to you over your own... gender.
You ceased eventually, lifting your head up to see a damp stain on his beanbag. You laughed, wiping your eyes.
"S-Sorry..." You said between chuckles, him shaking his head with a smile.
"So am I still manly?"
"Even manlier."
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