"You what?" Spencer sat, eyes wide and mouth dropped open.

Brendon was looking down at the table. He was picking at his fingernails as a way of not making eye contact with Spencer. "I'm going to get treatment," he mumbled.

Spencer's mouth kept opening and closing, no words able to come out. Spencer slammed his hands on the table as he pushed himself to his feet. Brendon's body tensed as Spencer rounded the table to his side. He flinched when Spencer grabbed his shoulders and pull him forward, almost dropping him from the chair. Brendon's face pressed against Spencer's midsection and had the man's arms wrapped around him.

"You're not joking right?" Spencer's eyes were tightly shut and he squeezed Brendon in anticipation for the response.

Brendon shook his head, earning a heavy sigh from Spencer. He could feel his friend's body trembling. Spencer pulled one arm away to wipe the corner of his eyes. Brendon looked up, a knot forming in his stomach as he took in the tears forming in Spencer's eyes.

"Spence, you alright?"

Spencer let out a little laugh and nodded. "Yeah, B. I'm okay." He held onto Brendon a little longer before pulling back and going back to his seat. "What made you change your mind?"

Brendon definitely couldn't look at Spencer this time.

"Ryan?" He guessed.

Even without looking, Brendon felt it. Spencer wouldn't be making a face either. There would be no visible indication, but Brendon knew his friend felt betrayed. They'd suffered this long only for things to change because of someone Brendon had known five minutes compared to how long he and Spencer had been together. Brendon wanted to defend himself, but nothing he could say would make any difference.

Neither said anything. Brendon let out silent apologizes that Spencer would inevitably accept out of sheer relief that someone blessed him with more time with his stubborn ass of a friend. Spencer watched as Brendon's head stayed hanging like a puppy awaiting some punishment. When the silence dragged out long enough, he sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"So what happens now?"

Brendon shrugged and peeked up. "Ryan has an appointment scheduled in a couple days. I'm supposed to take some tests to see what kind of treatment plan I should get."

Spencer nodded, face straight while he stared at Brendon. Brendon turned his attention back to his lap, picking at the skin around his fingernail. He winced when he tore off a thick piece of skin, drawing blood at the side of his nail.

"Brendon?"

"Yeah," Brendon replied without looking up. He brushed a finger over the little drop of blood and spread it over his nail before wiping it clean.

Spencer leaned forward, elbows resting on the table and hands joined. "Brendon, look at me," he spoke softly.

Brendon frowned and bit the inside of his lip. His gut clenched when he heard the table squeak under Spencer's weight when the man leaned closer. Brendon chewed at his lip, peeling a layer of skin off thick enough to sting.

"Brendon. Look. At. Me," Spencer repeated. Brendon shook his head subtly before turning just enough to see Spencer's head low, trying his best to make eye contact with Brendon.

"Is this really what you want to do?"

Brendon switched his attention back to his lap.

"Is Ryan forcing you to do this?"

Brendon squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. He wasn't lying but his chest still tightened.

"I won't lie, I've been waiting for the day that you changed your mind, but I don't want this if you feel like you're being forced into it." Spencer was ready to kick himself for saying that but he really didn't want his friend to be pushed to doing something he didn't want.

"I don't know," Brendon eventually murmured.

"You don't know?" Spencer whispered, eyebrows furrowed and head tilted to the side.

Brendon's caught his bottom lip between his teeth to keep the quivering from being too noticeable. He shook his head again. He let out a shaky breath and glanced up at Spencer. "I'm scared," he said with a shrug. "Ryan kept talking about all these things he wants us to do when I get better but... what if I don't get better? What if I'm too late? I'm scared that I'm going to go through with the treatment and I still," his voice cut out.

Spencer didn't realize how tense his body had gotten until he felt his shoulder sink. He dropped his head and sighed softly to himself. He watched tear drops fall and plop onto his jeans. He heard Brendon sniff and looked back up at him. Brendon wiped away his tears with the back of his hand.

"I don't want to go through all this, get everyone's hopes up and it all be for nothing," Brendon whispered.

Spencer got up and moved back around to Brendon's side. He squatted down to look up at his friend. He laid a hand over Brendon's knee and gave it a squeeze. "Listen, whether you decide to go through treatment or not, it's your decision. No matter what you choose, no matter the outcome, we will not be disappointed with you. We will be with you through it all."

Brendon wiped his tears again and finally focused his attention on Spencer.

"You don't have to decide now. Go to the appointment to see how things will look then make your decision." Spencer waited a beat for any kind of response before adding. "There's no pressure," he whispered.

Brendon nodded and let out a sigh that felt like a weight falling off his shoulders. Once again, Spencer was able to say just the right words to ease Brendon's worries. Nothing changed other than Spencer allowing Brendon to see there was still a choice for him to make and not an obligation.

~~~

A/N:

Hello! It's been a hot minute since I've updated. I haven't forgotten about the story. I was focused on finishing off school then took an unplanned break from writing. I was able to think more about how exactly I want this ending to go so I should be updating more regularly once I set my writing schedule! Thank you for sticking around this long waiting for some kind of update! I really appreciate the support!!