《Fated (A Chris Evans Series)》Insecurities

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Exactly one week after Chris accepted the job, he received a package in the mail consisting a hard copy of the script he'd been hired to direct as well as the list of people that was going to be a part of his cast and crew. Seeing the script in all its hefty glory for the first time, made Chris a little nervous. This was his first job in two years. When he'd imagined himself dipping his toe back into the water, he'd imagined himself in a supporting role rather than the director's chair. He was slightly intimidated, knowing it was only his second time as a director and wondered if the job was one he could pull off. "If an amateur succeeded, the professional is going to excel." Denise reassured him with a tender kiss.

On the Friday morning, the next day. Denise took Jack with her and took a cab down to her parents', giving Chris the peace and quiet he needed to get though his first reading of the script. And for the first time, in what felt like forever, Chris was back reliving the days before Denise came along; just a man with a dog, preparing for yet another Hollywood film. The house seemed so empty without his wife and son. It was so quiet that he could hear the ticking of the clock. While he appreciated the serenity, he wished they hadn't offered him the luxury of it.

Every time Chris read something he thought Denise would enjoy, he would look to his right only to be disappointed by her absence. Her absence; what was meant to speed things up for him, ended up slowing him down. After every page, he'd either look up at the clock for the time or check his phone for a text. They were both pointless acts of procrastination as she'd said before she left that she wouldn't bother him until she returned at 7:30PM with a plate from her parents'. He was optimistic that she'd text despite what she'd said; it was rare for her not to text him at least once while apart, but it seemed that she was breaking routine. With another glance at the clock, he realized that time was nearing 7:30PM and that it wouldn't be long till he had his wife and son back.

Dodger was on his feet before the car containing Denise and Jack stopped in front of the house. Chris lowered his script and pushed his MacBook aside as he rose from the dining table. His phone buzzed against the dining table's reclaimed wood surface. The screen lit up and he read the text notification from Denise, calling for Dodger as he walked over to the front door to catch the excitable dog by his collar before he opened the door.

Jack's asleep. Can you grab Dodger before he pounces?

"Thanks," Denise whispered when Chris leaned in to kiss her cheek.

"Hey," Chris released Dodger's collar and smiled at his brother-in-law as he walked up with his fiancée. "Thanks for dropping them home, you two. I really appreciate it." He thanked them then took Denise's purse and Jack's 'Mickey Mouse' backpack from him. Behind Chris, Denise waved at her brother and her future sister-in-law before heading upstairs to deposit the two year old in his bed; Dodger close behind her.

"Oh, no problem. I've been her personal chauffeur for as long as I've had my license," Donovan joked and Chris chuckled. "However, I'd appreciate it if she'd keep her opinions to herself. It's enough having one backseat driver." He looked over at Erica and took her hand in his, smirking. "I don't need two." He quipped then laughed when she pulled her hand from his, rolling her eyes as she tried not to smile. "But hey, at least you drive, babe. My sister doesn't and she has twice the opinions you have."

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"She is very observant," Chris chuckled. "She doesn't drive, but she's picked up a thing or two being a passenger. I gotta admit that even if she is annoying with her backseat driving, she can be quite helpful." Donovan rolled his eyes, but nodded in agreement. "Though she would be more helpful if she can split the drive time with me on road trips, but I'll take-" Chris cut himself off when he heard Denise's approaching footsteps and looked over his shoulder, smiling. "Hey, honey." He draped an arm around her, kissing the top of her head.

"Gossiping about me, aren't you?" She wrapped an arm around his waist as he shook his head, feigning innocence with wide eyes. "Yeah, right." She rolled her eyes when she heard Donovan and Erica laugh. "You know what, Erica. Don't give him that bag, he can starve tonight." She teased, poking him in the stomach.

"I don't think Tina would not be very happy with me if I played a hand in the demise of her son-in-law." Erica joked and everyone laughed as she passed Chris the green cooler bag. Inside were containers of food, neatly packed by Denise's mother. "In fact, we would've stayed for dessert if she didn't rush us out the door. 'Chris must be starving, get home to him now!'" Erica repeated what Tina said in a high pitched voice, drawing more laughter.

"She's the best."

"We better go, we've got carrot cake to eat too." Donovan said and Erica nodded in agreement. "We'll see you guys." He took Erica's hand and they walked to his car together. Chris and Denise waved until their car was out of sight, then re-entered their home and locked the door behind them.

Chris headed to the kitchen, setting the green cooler bag down on the island bench top. Denise filed in behind him, grabbing the utensils needed. "There are two slices of cake in there, and no," she said before he could teasingly ask, "they are not both for you." She giggled when he playfully groaned, sliding onto one of the bar stools. She, herself, just remained standing as she leaned over the bench. "So," she began, passing him a fork and spoon. "Did you get a good amount of work done?"

"Mm...A relative amount, I got through the script." Chris said as he sieved through the cooler bag. "Ooo, is that your dad's braised beef?" He quizzed and heard a 'mm-hm' from Denise. "Are we talking mashed potatoes or steamed rice, kinda braised beef?"

"Is there a difference?"

"You did not just- Your father owned a restaurant, Denise."

"I know, I'm just kidding," she giggled at his bewildered expression. "Steamed rice," she answered, just as he found the container of steamed rice. "Pass me my carrot cake, will you?" She asked and he pulled it out of the bag, sliding it across to her. "Now, can we talk about your day? I want to know what you think of the script, are you excited about it?"

"Can I hear about your day first?" He asked as he cracked open his containers of food, mixing the braised beef with the rice. "What did you and Jack get up to? I mean- it's seventy-thirty and he's fast asleep, whatever the two of you got up to- it must have wiped him out."

"We didn't get up to anything, he and Donovan had a NERF war in Mom and Dad's living room just before dinner. It was an absolute war zone, foam bullets everywhere." She told him and he chuckled, picturing the scene in his head. "Other than that, we had a pretty chill day in. We watched movies, went grocery shopping with Mom, then helped with dinner. Jack frosted the cake," she pointed at the slice of carrot cake in front of her, giggling at the unevenness of the frosting. "If you couldn't already tell from the wonderful job he did." She joked and he laughed. "And Mom cut the better slices for us, the other side of the cake is a complete mess. It's like he got bored and just- called it quits."

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"I'm surprised the two of you didn't try to fix it."

"Oh, believe me. We tried, but he said it was done."

"Of course he did," he chuckled.

A silence fell over the couple as they continued to nurse their food. Denise looked up from her cake, brows furrowed in confusion. She knew him well enough to know that he was avoiding talk about the script. She wasn't sure if he didn't like the script, or if he was tapped out for the day. Whatever the reason, she wanted to talk about it. She needed to know he was going into a good job, one that was going to make him happy.

"Now that I've recapped our day, can we talk about yours?"

"Let's do it." He nodded as he rose to his feet, walking to the fridge to grab a bottle of beer. He clearly meant to sound enthusiastic with his choice of words, but failed miserably with his tone. "To answer your earlier questions, I am very excited about the script. It has a great deal of potential, the plot's got a lot of substance." He told her as he sat back down. "I've yet to Google my cast and crew, but I've been told they're all great people to work with. I'll check out their IMDbs and screen their online portfolios after dinner, if I'm not too tired. But overall, I'm very happy with the job."

"Have you told yourself that?"

"What?" His brows furrowed in confusion.

"Have you told yourself that you're very happy with the job? Because the tone of your voice doesn't exactly go hand in hand with the words you're using." She told him and he chuckled wearily. "What's wrong? Everything you're saying sounds great, but you don't sound at all happy or excited." She said and he heaved a sigh, the corner of his mouth quirked into a small smile. "Yes, Chris Evans. I can read you like a damn book, so why don't we skip the guessing game and you just tell me what's bothering you?"

Chris kept her gaze for a moment, then quietly sighed under his breath as he dropped his head. He sat in silence, using his fork to poke at his food. Denise said nothing as she watched him, patiently waiting as he fumbled to find his words. "Do you think..." He began as he finally looked up from his food. "Are we-" He stopped and corrected himself. "Would you be ready if I suggested we move to Boston in August?" Denise felt her breath catch then a smile spread across her face. Opening her mouth, she was stopped before she could answer. "Don't make the decision with me in mind, Denise. I need you to be sure that is what you want, 'cause we're moving states, it's not temporary."

"Yes, I'm aware of that."

"Are you? 'Cause I feel-"

"Before we continue this conversation, can you do me a favor and stop treating me like a five year old?" She stared at him with raised her brows and he pressed his lips together apologetically. "Thank you." She bit, then softened her tone as she continued their conversation. "Look." She sighed. "I know how you feel, Chris. And while I understand and appreciate you thinking of me, I knew what our future entailed before we got married- before we got engaged, even. Believe it or not, I am ready for all of it- whenever it happens. If you want to move out of California, if you want to retire from Hollywood, if you- want to have another child," she said then added with a light chuckle, "for a third example" when she saw his eyes light up.

"Of course, examples. They're all just examples." He fought the growth of his smile and she chuckled, shaking her head. Even before she said it, she already knew he'd turn it into a thing. Since her interview on Ellen, that had been the question looming over their heads: "when are the two of you going to have a second child?" It was no surprise that when Ellen asked, everyone else would too. Despite what Chris said at that interview, he was perpetually ready to welcome another bundle of joy. As for Denise, she was truthful when she said she wanted to hold off on the second child for a while- even more so now that she knew about Chris' directorial job. "I don't expect us to have another child now, not when I've just signed a contract. I wouldn't mind, but I'd rather be around for the entire experience."

"And I am not suggesting we have another child now, I just want you to know that I am ready for whatever's coming and wherever we're headed." She continued. "Because I am your wife and my job is to support you. It's a job I applied for and love doing. So please, stop filling yourself with angst every time you come to me with a big decision. I'll admit that you've grown to know me very well over the years, but that doesn't mean I'm no longer capable of surprising you every once in a while." She teased and he managed a smile. "I love you and I am with you by choice, Chris. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want the life you were going to provide me with."

"I know, sweetheart." He reached over and took her hand in his, squeezing gently. "Believe me, I know. I'm just..." He sighed. "In a difficult position knowing you have me on a pedestal. I hear you, okay? You're my wife and your job is to support me, just as mine is to support you. But- you have to realize how congruent you are with everything, every decision so far- It's easier, yes, but it has me wondering if you're doing it for me, or if you truly believe it is what's best. I know you love me, and I understand relationships are about compromise but...I'm a little worried you're compromising too much because you don't always think clearly around me." He said and her lips pursed as she considered what he was saying. "Correct me if I'm wrong?"

"You're not...entirely wrong." She admitted after a brief moment of pause. "I am aware I don't always think clearly around you, I'll admit that. But I know when it comes to big decisions, such as moving states, that I have a pretty clear mind. I want to move, Chris, and I do believe it is what's best. Jack is two now, he's going to be attending a preschool soon. If we want to move, we need to move now so he can make friends that could potentially end up in the same schools as him."

"I know," he pulled his hands away, pinching his nose bridge. "I-" He cut himself off, huffing. "Do you hear yourself?" He asked and she furrowed her brows in confusion. "I just- Why are you being so selfless? You're twenty-four, can you be a little selfish?" It was at that moment that she realized why he was being the way he was. The corner of her lips curled into a smile as he continued to bombard her with rhetorical questions. "Can you make a decision that will make you happy? Forget about everyone else for a second, what do you want? Tell me what you want, Denise."

"You want to know what I want, Chris?" She quizzed. "What I've wanted for as long as I can remember?" He nodded, eyes desperate for her answer. "I wanted to graduate," she answered. "I wanted to direct my own script. To work in Hollywood, to meet those I admired from the industry. I wanted to attend an Ed Sheeran concert, experience a Comic-Con, go to a Broadway show, walk the red carpet at the 'Avengers' premieres and watch both movies before the majority of the world population." She continued and he sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat as he saw where she was going with her point before she even got to it. "I wanted the courage to believe in myself, the courage to let myself be vulnerable enough to fall desperately in-love, the courage to- skydive," she chuckled and he managed a smile. "I wanted to get married, to have the perfect wedding. I wanted to become a mother, to have a beautiful, healthy baby that I can watch grow with my perfect husband. I wanted to buy a house and create a home with the love of my life. But most of all," tears welled in their eyes as she admitted, "I wanted you."

"Denise..."

"I don't know how many times I need to tell you this, Chris Evans. I got everything the day I got you, I don't need anything else. Why am I being so selfless, you ask? Because I've already been selfish. You are the selfish decision I made, I was selfish when I agreed to marry you. This- all of this- It's out of my league. The person the universe had lined up for you is probably still waiting, but I selfishly got in the way." She joked and he chuckled, brushing the tears from the corner of his eyes. "I know this doesn't help my case against yours, but- it's the truth, Chris. I want you, that's all I've ever wanted for as long as I can remember."

"Well then, you must have terrible long-term memory."

"If you think I only want you for the short-term, you're insane."

"And you're insane if you think you're not the person the universe lined up for me," he said as he walked around the island bench to wrap her into his arms. She hugged him back, smiling as she buried her face in his chest. "I love you." He kissed the top of her head. "And I'm sorry. For doubting your judgement, for questioning what you want." He pulled away, caressing her face in one hand. "I guess I still don't see what's so special about me that you'll be willing give up everything just to be with me."

"You don't need to see it, Chris." She wrapped her hand around his wrist, smiling. "I see it, and I am always going to see it. You are the love of my life. Whatever you decided, wherever you want to go- I am going to be by your side. So if you're ready to move to Boston in August, I'll go get the boxes, bubble wrap, and packing tape."

"And if I'm ready to have another child tonight?"

"I know you're teasing me." She giggled. "But if you weren't, I'll gladly throw out my morning-after pills and go poke holes in all the condoms." She said and he bellowed with laughter, pulling her into another tight hug. Her arms snaked around his waist, squeezing tightly. "I love you." She lifted her head and kissed his jawline, he smiled in response. "So," she raised her brows, "what's the verdict? Are we moving?"

"Yeah, let's start packing."

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