I groggily open my eyes and reach out for my phone to check the time. It's almost 3 am and I sit up straight as I hear the sound that woke me up again. A faint clunking sound. I rub my eyes and turn the bedside lamp on when I hear the noise again. I could tell that it was coming from my window, almost as if someone was tapping on it.

Now considering how it was, 3 am when spirits come out to haunt I sit there for a few more seconds contemplating if I was better off just crawling under the covers and praying until it was morning. I hear the clunk sound again and I stand up gingerly and walk over to my window and open it and almost scream when I see a shadowy figure hoisting itself through my usual escape route out the window. A hand reaches in and it clamps my mouth before I can really scream.

"Princess it's me" I hear Ryder's voice and I help him in before shutting the window "Oh my god you scared me..how did you? What are you doing here?"

Ryder looks at me sheepishly "Uhh Colton said that you used to sneak out of the window in the back of your house, so I kinda came here and figured it out" I step back and look at him. He was wearing a pair of black jeans and a black tee and he looked quite handsome like always. I watch as he looks at me up and down and bites his lip as his eyes cloud with lust. I blush because I was wearing short shorts and a mickey mouse crop top with no bra on. I quickly dive under the covers and pull my blankets over my chest while he smirks at me.

Surprisingly he doesn't make any dirty comments which I find strange. He kicks his shoes off and gestures to me to move over and climbs under the covers. He leans against the headboard and pulls me closer with his arm around me. "I called you, you didn't answer?" he mumbles. I lean over him and take my phone to check "I umm, I didn't have your number so I didn't know it was you"

"Hmm" he mumbles and he grabs my phone and saves his number as Boyfriend on my phone. I snort "Really..."

He looks at me and smiles "Yea just in case you need some reminding". He leans down and kisses me on the forehead and I rest my head on his chest hearing the faint sound of his heartbeat. I inhale his scent and wrap my arms around him as he plays with my hair. "What are you doing here Ryder?" I look up at him my chin on his chest.

He looks into my eyes and sighs '' I thought after today's incident that you were done with me, especially when you didn't answer the phone so I..um wanted to say that I was sorry about earlier and .."

I cover his mouth with my hand my heart clenching at the hopeless look in his eyes. "No, dont apologize..." I smile at him softly "I shouldn't have been so pushy. I mean dont get me wrong I still really want to get to know all of you, but I should have given you the time and space to open up rather than push you so much, "

He slowly peels my hand off his mouth and smiles softly at me as he pulls me up and crushes me into a hug "What have I done to deserve you...I was really mean to you. I didn't mean what I said earlier about your mum, we all go through our own personal hell's and I have no right to belittle what you are going through... will you forgive me and please dont leave me?" he mumbles into my hair

I lean out of his hug and pull his face down and kiss his lips softly "There is nothing to forgive and we are going to have a hundred of these kinda fights, no one is going to leave anyone especially me. I can't even believe you thought I would leave you over one silly fight" I hit his chest slightly smiling at him

He grins and then gets off the bed and starts pulling his jeans off and then stops midway ''I... I couldn't sleep coz we had a fight and I started thinking about things from the past and I dont know I just had to see you.. can I stay here with you tonight, I'll leave early"

I nod my head at him reassuringly, it was so strange to see the dominating and confident Ryder look so vulnerable so I open my arms out to him. He quickly pulls his pants and his shirt off and before I can really admire his sexy body in his boxers he slides under the covers and turns the light off and pulls me close into his arms. We lay there in silence for a few minutes, all I could hear was our breathing and his heartbeat as I lay snuggled against him my head on his chest. That's when he starts to speak his voice almost emotionless yet broken in the darkness.

"I was just a kid when mum died..." He pauses and I slowly stroke his chest "You dont have to..." He interrupts me " I want you to know..." he takes a deep breath and starts to talk again

"My dad was a part of a gang, the same one that James runs now, back then Dad was quite high up the ranks and James was just a member but after dad died he took over pretty quickly. Anyway, I can't remember when he started beating mum, because that's all I can remember about him although she would always tell me that he wasn't always like that" I feel him laugh softly "But that was mum for you, she was an absolute angel who always saw the good in everyone and she loved me and dad with all her heart in spite of what he did to her".

I feel his hold tightening around me when he speaks softly "In some ways, you remind me of her. She was so beautiful on the inside and the outside. Every time he would beat her she would make me hide, or lock me somewhere where he couldn't get to me, as I got older I really couldn't take it anymore and the first time he hit me was because I tried to stop him from hitting mum. I still remember the pain in her eyes after and I think a part of her died that day when she saw me getting beaten. It was something she promised herself that she would protect me from."

He pauses and then continues bitterly "I was about 13 that night when he ... Something went wrong with some deal and he came home angry, I remember I was eating mashed potatoes which were my favorite when he stomped up to their room, and mum gave me a stern look to make sure I didn't interfere and she walked up the stairs to talk to him. That was the last time I saw her alive. I remember the screams, the shouts, and then silence which was very uncommon, there was never silence and at that moment I knew something was wrong. I ran up the stairs kicked open the door and I saw mum lifeless on the ground, he had strangled her with his bare hands. I dont remember very clearly what happened after Anna, but that was the first time the uncontrollable rage took over, I..I.. killed him Anna."

He is silent for a minute and when I dont say anything he continues brokenly "I am a monster Anna, because I dont regret it, killing him...I just wished I did it earlier before he took mum away from me. I only got a few years in juvie because of the good lawyers that James got me, they made it look like self-defense. James and his sister Giselle have always been good to me Anna and once I was out of juvie I pretty much worked for James on a lot of shady shit but then I cut down because I met Jon. "

I didn't want to interrupt him so I wrap my arms around him tightly as he continues softly "Coach is the first person to care about me like a dad, I think for James it was always about the business and he thought I was useful but Jon took me in when he met me at the rings after juvie. He stopped me from getting into all these shady deals and he wants me to finish school, college, and get a job. He and Crystal are the closest thing to a family that I have right now."

He shifts himself and turns the light on. I look at him and see the pain and fear in his eyes. "Do you... do you hate me Anna, is that why you're quiet?"

I sit up and grab his face with my hand's and kiss him softly on his eyes, nose, cheeks, and his lips "I could never hate you, Ryder, no matter what you do, what happened to you should never happen to anyone and I wish I could take all your pain away. What's important is that you're turning your life around now and you have me with you always, I promise"

I look at him as he smiles at me brokenly "I wish I could tell you I am a better man princess, but the truth is that I am fucked up, I fight because the pain makes me feel alive, but I'm past the point of letting you run for the hills from me. I need you" He whispers and leans in and kisses my lips again and then threads his fingers through mine while he continues

"There is something else I need to tell you, the reason why James is pissed at me is not just because I have distanced myself from the gang, but because I took Lilah away from him."

He looks at me carefully as he continues "She was his fiance and I'd always see them together, she was timid and quiet and never uttered a word which made me think she was stuck up because she was dating the boss. But then I saw it, the first time I saw him hit her, I was in shock but I knew that was not the first time, I knew he was beating her up. That night I didn't sleep and by morning I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't save my mum but I could save her, so the next time he beat her up, I stepped in and I took her home to coach. She was pregnant and James thought it was my baby, I didn't go to correct it and she lost the baby as well after. Right now she stays with Jon and Crystal and they look after her as their own daughter but she is broken, I may have saved her life, but I think he took her soul."

He shakes his head "James is holding a grudge but I dont regret what I did, plus James won't attack me because a majority of the guys that work for him respect and look up to me, so if he hurts me he will have a revolt. So he's trying to take me out in every sneaky way as possible." He looks deeply into my eyes 'But Anna, I want you to know that no matter what I will make sure nothing happens to you, I will die before he hurts you or your family, I promise you that"

I look up at him amazed at the strength that this boy possessed, and I wanted to cry but I controlled my tears. He had been through so much and behind the hard facade, there was a decent broken boy that I was falling in love with. "You are an amazing man Ryder, and I am so glad I have you in my life"

He smiles at me ''I'm the lucky one Anna, I have someone to call my own now. He leans in and captures my lips in a deep kiss before he flicks the light off and lies down holding me tightly to him. I feel his breathing soften as he falls asleep, but I can't bring myself to sleep. I keep thinking about everything that happened to him, and how he deserved to be loved. At that moment I realized that I was falling madly in love with Ryder and I would do anything for him.