"If you don't let your past die, then it won't let you live."

When I first saw Zane De Luca, I was five years old. He was seven. Even at such a young age, he carried himself with a swagger that only an alpha could obtain. He looked at me and I looked at him but then we walked past each other.

I saw him again and again because my father was Beta. He was happy all the time. I remember being jealous of his bright smiles and the gleam in his eyes like he was prepared to handle everything.

Then when I was eight years old I watched his smiles die. It was a sad death that led to a stern expression being permanently glued to his face. Sometimes I would pray to the goddess to bring his smile back because even though the boy and I weren't close I missed the smiles he directed at me. I missed the gleam in his eyes. I guess his swagger was something I envied but at least I knew it was obtainable, because Zane De Luca, a boy I knew, walked like the world was at his feet. Until his world erupted in flames.

That's why the sight of him smiling and laughing boisterously with my brother makes my heart happy. He's sitting on one of the four barstools that surround the kitchen island as Ricardo tries to prepare something on the stove.

"I hope you aren't going to burn my house down, Ric," I tell him.

"Not sure if your brain is working right now Alessandra but I'm the best cook out of the Romano siblings."

It might sound like an accomplishment but it's really not. Isabel and I set the standard pretty low.

"I just have other talents that do not involve cooking."

Him and Zane share a look.

"Like that ugly contraption on your couch?"

I look towards the grey couch and see my colorful blanket hanging off the armrest.

"It is not ugly. I made it myself and it looks like the picture I was following!"

It does not look like the picture at all but I will not be sharing that with my older brother.

"You should do everyone a favor and throw it in the dumpster," he mutters into his mug of coffee.

"Excuse me? That's for Nonna!"

His eyebrows nearly shoot into his scalp.

"Cipolletta, you are better off giving her a dead squirrel, that thing is horrendous," he says like I'm a child.

"Don't call me that! Zane tell him the blanket is nice."

"The blanket is nice," Zane says with no conviction.

I frown at them both.

"Whatever Nonna will like it," I grumble. Ricardo opens his mouth, most likely to insult my blanket again, but I beat him to it.

"Zane, no going to the packhouse today. You need to rest."

"Amore, I'm fine," he says.

"No. It's better for you to refuel at home for a bit. I can handle it."

"It's too much."

Zane and I had found our groove when it came to pack work. I stuck with measures of safety, training plans, and keeping our relationship with other packs strong. Zane leaned more towards the financial aspect and disciplinary actions. It is a lot of work to take on by myself but I can't risk Zane stressing himself out too much.

"I'm going to head over to the packhouse right now and Ricardo is going to stay here to make sure you don't follow me," I tell him.

I go over and place a light kiss on his cheek but he pulls me back by the wrist and lays one on my mouth.

"My Luna," he whispers, as he pulls away from me.

The Blood Moon Pack has been successful since Clarice De Luca but I never thought we would achieve such greatness. In the short time, Zane has been Alpha, he's brought in tons of revenue to our businesses. The books have never looked better.

It's not easy to run a pack. People disagree with leadership, there's usually some sort of threat, and money is typically tight. However, this is not the case for us. The pack has stayed loyal to the De Lucas as the alpha family, business is booming, and our only worry is the Nightshades.

Sitting at my desk in the packhouse still seemed unreal. It was a grandeur room made mostly of mahogany. It honestly looks like it belongs to some aristocrat of the past and not in the 21st century.

When I first started making it my own, I tried not to change its origins. This room has been locked since Lucile De Luca's death but when it was given to me everything was cleaned to perfection and a vase of white roses stood atop the large desk. I instantly knew that Zane had cleaned the room and it made my heart clench because I knew how hard it must have been for him to clean the space once ruled by his mother.

Now it was a little bit more like me. I had someone hang a portrait of Zane and me above the fireplace. It's similar to the one from Italy of Lorenzo and Rosanna but ours is more jovial. While theirs was simply a picture of them staring ahead with straight faces ours is passionate. It's the exact moment Zane and I marked each other. His hand is pulling me close and my neck is tilted back to look into his eyes. It's perfect, and I'm glad there was an artist in the audience who was able to commit the picture to memory and transfer it onto a canvas.

Next to the fireplace is a bay window where the books I'm currently reading lay around haphazardly. My desk sits directly across from the large door that provides entrance to my office. I have pictures of my family and friends laying about but most of it is covered by paperwork.

By the time I've sorted through all the stacks and taken care of everything urgent, it's time for the pack meeting. Truth be told, I could have finished sooner but there are some questions that have plagued my mind for a while.

Sometimes, I'll wake up to Zane squeezing me tightly to his chest. It's always after he has a nightmare but he's never told me what these nightmares entail. I've waited patiently but I think it's time to confront him.

Then there's the other question.

Why wouldn't he take me as his mate if he wanted to? He claims that what he felt for my sister does not compare to what we have, but if he felt this way, why send me away?

These thoughts blossom in my mind as I head towards the meeting grounds. By the time I arrive, the captains of the pack have already gotten the crowd to settle down. A few of them still have tense faces that match the atmosphere, but the point of this meeting is to hopefully quell that fear.

I take a step onto the podium that is slightly elevated. The smooth wood feels cool against my hands, allowing me to ground myself.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

I clear my throat before beginning my announcement.

"As you all know, Alpha Zane was attacked by a Nightshade yesterday," I begin.

"I'm here to inform you that he is healing from his injuries and will make a full recovery."

Cheers erupt in the crowd after the good news about their alpha's health is said.

"As your Alpha Female, I am here to assure you that the Blood Moon Pack will not now down to these creatures. We will fight and we will win."

More cheers reach my ears.

"For your safety, we have made stricter patrol procedures. As a result, travel between packs in California has been halted."

A few sounds of discontent made their way to me.

"While the Nightshades remain a threat, your alpha and I have planned a pack run and barbecue in celebration of our union."

"It will take place in a controlled environment with our guards on alert. Since the Nightshades are only active at night, it will take place during daylight."

This was technically out of the norm. Usually, pack runs were hosted by the alphas under a full moon, but Zane and I did not want to take any chances.

With a few more words, I'm able to take my leave and head home to my mate. The questions from earlier bounce around in my mind and I know that I'll have to ask Zane some questions I might not like the answers to.