"Some people have hobbies, art, music, playing sport. Mine is learning you." -Dante Salvatore (When Villains Rise)

I don't think I've had a day off in the past two years. So laying around all day, waiting for the time to tick so Alessandra can walk through the front door is the worst kind of torture.

I've already cleaned the entire house. I even made a ton of food so she has something to eat once she's home. So now all that's left to do is wait.

You sound like a puppy with separation anxiety.

I wonder if everyone has such a smart-ass wolf.

I lean back against the couch and try to relax. The plush couch does nothing to ease my impatience so I begin to fiddle with my rings.

The onyx one was a gift from Hiro. The silver one was made from one of my mother's necklaces. It's a soothing motion. Each rotation helps my mind focus on something that is not the absence of my mate or the lack of productivity from today that is weighing me down.

Click.

Finally! Alessandra steps into the room looking hot as hell in her office wear. I'm tempted to take her right there against the wall but the look in her eyes gives away her inner turmoil.

Her hair is pulled back in a low messy bun. Even though she looks like she is ready to conquer the world, I can see the worry in her eyes and the tired set of her shoulders. Immediately, I'm on high alert. Did someone from the pack disrespect her? I push the thought away instantly because the only emotion Alessandra shows when she is challenged is anger. She can handle herself just fine.

Slowly, I lift myself from the couch and walk over to her. Her index finger hooks into her heel and slips it off. She repeats the motion on her other foot.

I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her into me.

"What's wrong, little wolf?"

Her hands push against my chest and she slips away from my grasp.

I watch as she walks into the kitchen and grabs a water bottle from the fridge. She doesn't twist the cap off and take a long drink, instead, she holds it in her hand like a safety net.

"Alessandra?"

She continues to stare at the water bottle like it holds all the answers in the world. I try not to get annoyed but I can't help it. She won't even look at me.

"Alessandra De Luca-"

"Don't call me that!"

I freeze. Her voice is shrill. I can feel her anger but the strongest feeling I'm sensing from her right now is confusion.

"You are my mate," I tell her.

"So you think you own me?"

I'm so thrown off by her mood that I can't even think of what to say. I thought everything was perfect between us this morning.

Is this about her blanket? I told Ricardo it looked nice, what more could I say?

"You're mine and I'm yours, Alessandra. It goes both ways," I finally blurt out.

Her hands leave the bottle and press against the marble countertop.

"Maybe I don't want to be yours," she states.

"What the fuck is wrong, Alessandra? You won't even tell me where your behavior is coming from!"

Her answer comes quickly, almost as if it was rehearsed.

"My problem is you! You're acting like we're this lovey-dovey couple but we're not. You almost died and I realized how little I know about you! You never told me why you sent me away, you never talk about your mom, you never talk about my sister, it's like we have all these issues that need to be resolved. I don't even know what the hell you've been doing for the past two years I've been gone!"

I pause at her words, and then I laugh. I laugh with anger at her ridiculous complaints.

"I know everything about you, Alessandra," I tell her. My voice must show my anger because she finally raises her head to look me in the eyes.

"I know the foods you like to eat and I keep the house stocked with them for you. I know you're grumpy before you've had your coffee so I make it for your every goddamn morning. I've known exactly what you've been doing for the past two years because I made the effort to know!"

"You had Vincenzo spying on me!"

"And you couldn't have done the same? I'm sure Callie and Lilia would have easily filled you in on my life if you ever gave a damn about it."

She's silent so I continue.

"I took the time to figure out what type of house you wanted even when I was sure we had no future as mates. I didn't understand why I did it back then but maybe I just wanted to have a place that you couldn't resist living in because I knew you'd never live in it for me. I know you never really hated your sister even though she was a bitch. I know you can't sleep well unless you have a blanket. I know you want a tattoo but you're scared of not liking it years from now. I know you love the lake but you've always wanted to be closer to the ocean. I know you want to see the world one day. I know you, Alessandra! I fucking know you."

She gasps.

"I know how much your family means to you that's why I always encourage you to invite them here but you rarely do. Instead, you go to their house, and not once have you invited me. And all those questions you have Alessandra? Did it occur to you that maybe you could just ask me?"

I take a step closer to her because she's stopped looking at me.

I grab the bun at the nape of her neck and tug her head upwards.

"I know I'm not the mate you wanted. I know you never wanted to be luna. I know you've hated me for a long time but I've been trying to be better for you even though I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I know I've made mistakes, Alessandra, but I am trying to repair them. It's just hard because it feels like sometimes I'm the only one making any effort to move forward."

"That's not true," she whispers.

"Isn't it? You've already painted me as this villain in your head. Everything I do is tainted by the fact that you're hung up on a relationship I had years ago! I constantly tell you how what I feel for you is much more than I ever felt for her but you don't believe me."

"You sent me to another country!"

"And you thrived there. You got to focus on your medical studies, you trained more, you made a ton of friends, and you broke out from your sister's shadow."

"You didn't give me a choice."

This time I laugh in her face.

"You didn't argue with me, Alessandra," I say with a sadness that surprises me.

It was a harsh moment for me. I remember when I told her I was sending her to Italy. I remember the tears in her eyes but there was no fight in her. If there's one thing I know about Alessandra Romano is that she never does anything she does not want to do. I remember standing there waiting for her to fight back. To shout at me and call me names but she almost looked relieved, as if I was a problem she wouldn't have to deal with if she was in Italy. It's stupid, isn't it? I was ready to change my mind. I told myself, fuck the dream, I'll make sure she never gets hurt, that she's never laying dead in my arms.

So when she simply slipped out of the room, I felt defeated.

"You make it seem like I never wanted you but don't fool yourself and pretend you wanted me."

"I did!"

"If you stayed here, in Lake Tahoe, would you have loved me?"

She takes a step away from me but I take one closer to her.

"Would you have taken my cock every night? Would you have been my luna? Would you have lived with me? Would you let me sink my canines into your neck and claim you as mine forever?"

Her mouth opens to say something but no words come out.

"Tell me."

She closes her eyes.

"No."

"Look me in the eyes and say it."

"No."

"Tell me why."

I know the reasons why, but maybe hearing them from her mouth will make me stop thinking about her all the time. Maybe the need to be by her every second will disappear.

"Because I hated you," she whispers.

"Why?"

"I can't," her voice breaks.

"Say it!"

"Because you were with her! I didn't want to be in her shadow even with my mate, I've already been stuck there my whole life!"

"And?"

"You were mean to me when we were little."

"I watched my mom be ripped apart, I'm sorry if I acted out when I was ten years old."

She winces.

"What else?"

"I didn't want to be Luna, I had dreams. I didn't like you. You were egotistical and rude. I didn't want to love you, I didn't want a mate so soon!"

Her hand flies to her mouth as soon as the words leave her lips.

A sad smile takes over my face. It's weird to have her words stab at my chest like this, especially when I was aware of most of these reasons. Yet, it still feels like she ripped my heart out.

"It's good to know you never wanted me," I say before I turn around and head towards the door.

"Zane wait!"

I'm already gone.