"Drive me to work on your way" Joshua ordered me, whilst helping me fix the table.

"It's not on my way, Joshua"

"Going to an event, not to the company. Got a very demanding client, this time, that ; the , need to be present"

"A woman?" I asked, pouring my tea in my favorite old mug

"Yeah. How did you know?"

"You roll your eyes when you talk about your women clients"

"They are super demanding Amanda" he stated, pointing at me like he was trying to make a point.

"I know, they are women; our brains work for 24 hours a day, we want no mistakes and we change our minds all the time. After all, it was your choice to work as an interior designer, so deal with it"

"I hate you"

"Love you too, baby bro"

"I'm twenty-seven Amanda"

"And I'm twenty-nine, so what?"

"Hate that you are older than me"

"You shouldn't be the one to complain" Aiden, the youngest, twenty-four already, blessed us with his presence

I looked between the two before I spoke again with a little smirk on my lips "He annoyed you while I was gone, didn't he?"

"Trust me, these past five years, he annoyed the heck out of me" he said pouring water into a cup and gulping it

That made an evil smirk find its way to my lips when I looked at Joshua again "And you say you hate me. It's obvious that you missed me"

"Of course I did. Are you an idiot? Who wouldn't miss his family?" he muttered but it was loud enough for me to hear

"Morning kids" my dad marked his presence with his newspaper; throwing it right on the table beside the freshly made coffee I prepared for him.

"Kids? Dad, your youngest is twenty-four!"

"Look at your pants then talk Joshua" dad stated, before he sat right beside me, taking a sip out of his coffee.

"What?" Joshua looked down noticing he was still in his pajama pants, with his shirt, tie and suit jacket .. "Not again!" he sighs as he takes his leave from there up to his room

"Thank you for the coffee, honey. I missed this aroma" his familiar big hand ruffled my hair making me feel more at home than ever "Only you can do it"

"Good to know that, but don't tell mom"

"I was going to ask you the same" he smiled widely at me and turned back to take another sip but not before Aiden chose to be a rat.

"I will then" he said, putting his just made sandwich on the table "MOOOM!"

"Aiden" I hissed at him to which he gave me his hundred dollar smile... Literally his hundred dollar smile, in other words; his smile means give me a hundred dollars..."So not happening, tell her if you want her to sulk"

"These five years made me forget that you are a psycho"

"Then I guess I have no other choice but to remind you" I glared for merely three seconds, as I was unable to maintain a serious face, I just grinned; truly looking like some psycho in a horror movie.

"It's good that you are back"

"Thanks, but you won't be saying that when I join hands with Joshua and annoy you"

"SIS! NO!.." he warned but that didn't last long since it turned into begging "Please"

"I won't" I laughed at his terrified face, turning to my toast and taking a bite "By the way how is Jasmine?" Upon my simple question the mood somehow changed and turned extremely tense. Just when I mentioned her name..What are the odds?

"Don't tell me...You broke up?" Knowing the answer, I put all I was holding down before stretching my hand to reach his from across the table

"Yeah, it was years ago. I'll be going now, I'm late"

"Aiden, I'm sorry" I said before he got up

"You had your reasons, I don't blame you for not knowing" he looked down at his sandwich and muttered "After all you lost five years of your life"

"You are late Aiden" my dad's tense voice filled my ears

"I know dad.. I am leaving"

The way my family was tense around me, even a bad sighted person would see it clear as day... I knew for a fact that I needed to do something but I still don't know where to start..'cause they are family. It's easier to deal with strangers but it's always hard when they are our closest, loved ones.

Joshua came back after the long silence I shared with dad in the kitchen "What's wrong?" that was the first thing he inquired when he noticed the change in the mood

"Nothing" I muttered stirring up my tea, thinking about my next move and my next words, however, my dad was able to beat me up to it.

"I need to talk to you two" he started, and we did nothing but keep quiet waiting for him to continue "Amanda dear, I am proud of you, but also deeply sorry, for not standing for you as a father should"

"da-"

"Let me speak. Joshua is the big boy in the family; he is the man, but just because you are older I treated you as the pillar of this household. I knew you were strong and unbreakable so I left you for the wolves to eat you up, thinking that you are able to protect yourself "

"And you are.. You being here is a valid reason to say that you are so able to protect yourself. You know when to start and when to stop and I couldn't be prouder. They broke you in five years and you picked up the pieces in a month. If that is not strong then what is?" he held my hand tightly in his, never once breaking the eye contact as he added "We were expecting you for a month, expecting to heal you, to walk on eggshells around you, we were scared of who you have become. However, you left for a whole month, stayed alone and came back as the twenty years old Amanda, not the twenty-two Amanda that lost her dearest friend and not the twenty-four Amanda that got married but my twenty years old Amanda, and I just couldn't get any happier"

A teardrop fell, making a trail down his cheek in slow motion. On the other side, I kept staring at it, loving and cherishing these words of love I was getting along with it.

"You are now, my twenty years old Amanda; my little girl. And from now on, you can lean on us, you are never the pillar of the house as long as we are alive and healthy." he turned to Joshua, the two of them getting so serious "Do you understand, Joshua?"

"Yes dad"

"Listen, I-I am so thankful, for all of this, i-" my lips started quivering looking at these two men in front of me and I felt the tears build up in my eyes threatening to fall but they didn't, they went straight back in when I heard mom's voice getting closer along with her soft steps.

"Where is Aiden? I thought he called for me "

"That was a long time ago honey" dad stated, letting go of my hands and looking away so he can wipe his tears before my mom notices

"I was freshening up"

"It's okay ma, he didn't have much to say. Take a seat, I'll pour you coffee" I was about to get up before she stopped me.

"No dear, I'm fine. I need to reduce my intake of caffeine"

I eyed my dad before I sat back down to finish the rest of my breakfast "I believe those are the orders of dad"

"Yeah, it sucks to marry a doctor"

"Mom, I am also considered a doctor" and to my response, she just cleared her throat and turned to the newspaper dad was reading

"Oh! That reminds me, you're appearing on a tv show, right? "

"Uh, kind of. It's a consulting show basically. And I'm just appearing for an episode"

"Wait what?! You for real?"

"Yeah"

"Who's the host? Is it a girl?" Joshua puts his cup down and looks at me wide-eyed like I was about to tell him the secret of eternity

"Madeline lo-"

"THE BLONDE??! THE GRAY BLUE EYES?!" he hit the table with his hands shaking every dish and cutlery on it, which made me laugh at his excited reaction

"Yeah *chuckle* that one"

"Duuude, she's so pretty"

"I knowww" I mirrors his wide eyes with a wide smile on my face.

"If only I can meet her in real life. Even someone who looks like her at least"

"I'll give you my car and you can pick me up if you like"

"Ugh!" he pushed his head back then straightened up meeting my eyes with all seriousness "This is why I love you"

"Yhought you hated me"

He smiled before lifting his coffee to drink, only to put it back down before it even touched his lips "Do you think she's like all real? Like no surgeries and stuff"

"How would I know? And why do you care?"

"She doesn't look real! For someone to be that gorgeous is- Oh, well, Ivy looked a bit like her so I guess she is natural too, right?"

"Amanda is so much prettier! It's just that you men are smitten by those blue eyes and blonde hair, that's why! But my daughter's golden brown and hazel eyes, with those cheeks and high nose, those pink plump lips; she is the prettiest of them all" my mom took us by surprise and I didn't like the way she sounded.

But Joshua on the other hand seemed to be oblivious as he chose to joke "As they say, from his mother's eyes even a monkey looks like a deer"

"Joshua!"... Her voice was strained bu-

*sigh*

Seems like Ivy was her trigger. I guess mom thought that I was regarded as someone's replacement for years even though in reality I wasn't; I didn't even reach her level, but that doesn't change the fact that she didn't like me being compared to Ivy. And I can't blame her, that's a mother's heart, but I am truly not bothered and she deserves to know that and believe it, so that she can be at ease

There is no need to overthink now, I had to speak. Whatever could put them at ease, I had to say it "Mom" I started but she kept glaring at my brother not even glancing at me for a mere second "MOM, I am fine"

"As if I don't know!"

I sigh loud and clear, choosing to let it out; all that I have been hiding in me... At least all that has been clear to me...

"Listen, guys, i-I was there as Henry's doctor and Ivy's friend, I had no special feelings for him ma, so I am not hurt in any way. I appreciate you all for worrying but this is not worth it"

"Still! Five years, Amanda, you had so much hard time dealing with these people and he threw you ju-"

" asked for the divorce ma"

"He could have stopped you! You asking for a divorce is a pleading for him to open his eyes and hands, hold you and acknowledge you"

"Ma, please calm down for a second and listen to me"

She looked at me intensely before she breathed in and out "Fine! I'm listening"

"I know you noticed me crying in my room this morning, but it's never because of Henry ... It was Louis, I loved Louis ma, he was my son but-" Tears started forming again, thinking about him "When-... When he was three he called me mommy and Henry heard that. He didn't say a thing about it, but I noticed how harsh his actions turned towards me and his own son, so I stopped Louis from calling me mommy ever since. Still! I was so dying to hear it for five years, five freaking long years! Neither I nor Louis knew how to address each other"

"I acted like a mother but I didn't let him call me mom. Of course, he would act the way he did at the end. It made me look like I wanted the place but not the full title, like I wanted the advantages and not the responsibilities "

"But it's the other way around" Josh spoke

"And an eight-year-old will not notice that, so, me being there shamelessly is pure torture to him"

"Even a thirty-three didn't notice" dad commented and I felt anger radiating from him as it also painted his every word.. He closed his eyes shut and tight beside me, then turned away, getting up "I know you don't want us to waste our feelings and time on hating this guy but we will, because you are family, and you can never change that honey. And I hope you don't try to make us understand him, at least me, because I will be miserable if I ever forgive the man that hurt my daughter"

"Dad pl-" he lifted his hand to stop me from talking and I knew then that that was it "I'm off to work" I announced before I got up and left from there, getting my keys and leaving the house before things get out of hand.

We all have families. People who care, are called a family. People who worry are family. People who hurt for you are family. Who tease you and ease you, are family.

No need for blood ties nor sharing life, food, and a house to be called a family

No need for papers to state the relation because papers are just papers, but the feelings are much more to be referred to as a mere "it"