1872

~Tove

Once Keo is done with the Demon's, him and Wren disappear for two days.

I know he's busy, and that he has many priorities, but being left alone in a big sprawling chalet gets lonely very quickly.

Even if my usual company is Keo...

He returns right before I could muster up enough courage to go out into a snow. The chalet is set up against a mountain, and although I've never feared the snow, I do fear toppling down the rocks to my death.

"Are you ready for a big challenge today?" Keo questions, strolling into the dining room.

I look up at him, a bite of sandwich in my mouth.

His sudden appearances don't frighten me anymore, even if there was no warning of him showing up today.

Swallowing my bite of food, I pick up my glass. "I suppose. What is it?"

"You're going to transport me again." he pulls out a chair right next to me, sliding into it.

His fresh scent washes over me, like pine, snow and cloves. I shudder, thinking about how much I missed that, along with his presence in general.

What is happening to me?

"How far?" I question, taking a long drink of water.

Keo watches me wipe a missed droplet from my lips. "To another Territory."

I set the glass down, gaping at him. He can't be serious. We got lucky with my magic last time, and now, we are just pushing it.

What if I'm not able to replicate that again?

"I could barely move you very far last time, remember?" I know he's desperate for me to master my magical skill as fast as possible, but I fear I'm going to push myself too far and ruin everything.

"This time you have the conduit," he reminds me, pulling the necklace from his pocket.

I watch it sway back and forth as he dangles it on front of me. "Right..."

His expression falters and he drops his arm down. He's getting good at sensing my apprehension, or any of my shifting emotions.

"If it's too much, we wait," he tells me slowly.

I draw in a deep, slow breath. I'm trying not to let his words soothe me, otherwise it will be too easy to feel something for him. He cares about me enough to not force me to do this, even though he's been dedicated to it for most of his life.

"I'm as strong as I'm ever going to be. I need to try now," I decide, abandoning my sandwich.

Keo smiles, although I note his wary stare as we walk from the dining room. He believes more than anyone that I can do it, but it's clear he is unsure on how I feel about.

"This time, don't just visualise where you want to go. Make a connection with it, otherwise who knows where you'll go," he explains, sweeping his arm out to encompass all the lands far away.

I smirk despite my nerves. "Scared I'll take you to your death?"

"I'm a Demon, I'll be fine. You on the other hand..." he looks over me, narrowing his eyes.

I sigh. Being around Keo means I'm constantly reminded of my own lack of power. I'm getting better, but I'm not invincible, and transporting myself around has it's dangers.

"Alright, I got it." I close my eyes, trying to heed his advice.

"You'll be fine. I'm certain you can manage it," Keo prompts softly. He slips his hand into mine, squeezing my fingers gently.

I shake some hair from my face, trying to ignore the way my heart skips a beat. I peek an eye open. "I really hope so. Because I haven't been feeling very confident recently."

"Why not?"

"Transferring myself somewhere I didn't expect and then not knowing how to get away again really shook me up," I admit. I didn't expect to harness so much power, and knowing what I'm capable of has me believing it's not going to last.

"It happens. It's part of the process," he assures me.

I find myself squeezing his hand right back, enjoying the silent comfort. "I know, but I'm frightened it will happen again."

"You have me with you. All will be fine." He slips the necklace into my other hand, watching me wrap my fingers around it.

"Okay. I'll try."

Closing my eyes again, I first imagine where I want to go. I think of Territory Two, of the beautiful manor on the sea cliffs. Drawing from my experience being there, I try to imagine the sea beeeze rustling my hair, the taste of salt on my tongue.

And then, I try to imagine myself and Keo touching down there.

But nothing happens.

Huffing out a frustrated breath, I try again. It's almost impossible, feeling the Keo's bare skin on mine, knowing he is right beside me, waiting for this to be successful.

"Everything alright?" Keo questions cautiously.

I open my eyes, dropping his hand. "It's not working."

I was right, my magic is only temporary...I used so much power, and now, I'm never going to recreate it. Keo was completely wrong for having faith in me.

"Remove everything from your mind."

"Easier said than done, Keo," I growl, sweeping my hands through my hair. I want to rip it all out...more importantly, I want to get out of here, as far away from my mate and the rest of the world as I can.

"Don't get frustrated with me. It won't help," he responds calmly, the slightest frown dipping between his brows.

I push at his chest, which only sends me stumbling back a few steps.

"How can I not? I can't do this!" I'm shouting at this point, feeling all the frustrating flow out of me and onto a patient Keo.

"Yes, you can," he breathes.

"No, I can't. You chose the wrong person."

I'm not sure where this anger and frustration is coming from...Keo being away, only here inconsistently has gotten to my head. He should be here, with his mate, even if being together is a bad idea.

Keo takes a step toward me, but I match it back. "I chose the only person who is capable of this. Overthinking is part of the process, and so is doubt. The only way to succeed is to push past it."

I turn around, wrapping my arms around myself. "I shouldn't have to do this..."

Keo touches my shoulder, trying to pull my attention back to him. I want none of it.

"If you don't want to, you don't have to. I do suggest you take a moment and think about it first," he offers gently.

How can he be so calm? Where is the vicious, cold Demon that everyone has told me about? He's not mean to be gentle and level-headed.

That's not fair...

"Stop being so reasonable! You're meant to be a bad, horrible, evil man who is impossible to like," I tell him, unable to keep my thoughts reigned in.

His brows raise. "You like me?"

"No...I can't stand you," I grit out. I don't really mean it, but he's here, and I'm angry.

Keo blinks before a slow, amused smile curves at his lips.

"You're attracted to me. It bothers you," he notes, laughing breathily.

I roll my eyes. "You can't seriously think that."

He takes a step toward me again, although this time, I stand my ground, letting him tower over me. I'm not going to let him intimidate me, even if every fibre of my being wants to give into him.

"You can admit it. You want me," he murmurs, a gaze of pure seduction drifting down to my lips, considering them as if he's deciding whether to kiss me or not.

My hands roll into fists. "You think far too highly of yourself."

"If I remember correctly, you came to my room a few weeks ago with the intention of sleeping with me. Am I wrong?"

My throat dries. His taunting tone, his words...I know what he's reminding me of, and as much as I want to deny it, that's exactly what I intended.

And he was going to give me what I wanted before we found out we were mates.

"I was that bored."

He laughs a little, leaning down a little lower. "Uh huh. Had we continued that night, I would be having you at any time of day I pleased. And you would love it."

It dawns on me in that moment that he isn't seducing me. Maybe he is partially, but his true motive is brutally clear.

"You're distracting me," I snap. He's trying to clear my head of doubt, to draw my mind to him and his blatant flirting.

He shrugs loosely, smirking deviously. "I could be doing plenty of distracting right now, if you want."

"I'm done with this," I mutter, turning to stride back up the stairs to my room.

I could stand there and play with Keo all day, but there is only one reality: I'm not going to be able to use my magic again.

Keo makes a smart decision for once, and doesn't bother me for the rest of the day.

I opt for laying in bed until the sun starts to set.

My anger and frustrating is starting to ebb away, replaced by a cold, empty sense of failure. I'm making the same mistake I did when I first started working in my magic.

Doubt. It's impossible to battle with.

The sound of footsteps drawing closer has me sitting up. They are far too light to be Keo, and for a moment, I'm frightened that it's Wren coming to taunt me with my failure while claiming Keo for herself.

Instead, my best friend pops her head around the doorway.

"Mary!"

I'm up from the bed in an instance, throwing my arms around her. She immediately embraces me, smelling like home, like normality.

"It's so good to see you," she breathes into my hair, not letting me go for a long moment.

When our embrace finally draws to a stop, I hold her at arms length. "What are you doing here?"

"Keo brought me. He thought it would be good for you to have me visit," she tells me, sounding a little caught off guard herself.

My breathing halters. Keo brought her.

I know why he did it. He knows I'm not capable of fighting through my doubt alone, and that an immense amount of pressure is on my shoulders. This so the perfect stress relief, and he provided it for me.

My heart flutters, warmth blooming within me.

"For once he's right about something," I mumble, laughing a little.

Mary grins. "I missed you."

"You have no idea how much I've missed you," I admit, hearing the defeat in my own voice.

Mary sits down on my bed, patting it for me to join her. "Now, time to tell me everything about what you're doing back here with your mate."

💙••💙

~Midika 💜🐼