"...n."

...

"Oz...n."

"Hm...?"

"Ozpin!"

My eyes shoot open and the first thing I see is white.

Pure white.

Panicking a bit, I bolt upright and notice that I was buried in an ocean of paper like there is so much paper here that I was swimming in milk.

"Is everything alright, sir?"

I turn to the voice only to meet the gaze of Glynda Goodwitch from RWBY. 'Did I pass out at a convention or something?'

"While I admire your diligence, Ozpin, it is ill advised to overwork yourself." She states.

I only blinked, she even sounds like her. What the hell is going on!?

"Umm..." God, even my voice sounds different.

"...sir?" Glynda asked, concerned.

'Shit, shit, shit! I can't have her get suspicious of me.' I thought frantically.

"My apologies, Glynda. It seems I am still half asleep." I said trying to sound like Ozpin.

Glynda lets out a sigh before straightening up. "I shouldn't remind you that as Headmaster, you are not just representing this school but the kingdom as a whole." She explains. "Now if you will excuse me, I must prepare for the new semester tomorrow." With that, Glynda turns around and leaves the office.

I lean back on my chair and allow reality to set in full force. So, I am in a fictional world where the lore has so many plot holes that it might as well be cheese and I am also in the body of Ozpin.

Headmaster, wizard, puppet master, bone daddy; the whole shebang.

With a sigh, I take the cane next to me and stand up. I look through the window, staring at the broken moon in the night sky along with the city beyond. On the window is Ozpin's or rather my reflection. 

I lift my hand up to my face and pinch it. Pinch it hard. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" Yep this is real, very real. "So what do I do? I could probably try and prevent the Fall of Beacon and put some actual effort to find the fire bitch and her three stooges." 

But how to deal with them? I know they are in Vale to get the rest of the Fall Maiden and they are bound to get it. I could go full Ironwood and lock down the kingdom, then go and do a full-scale search for their evil lair.

...nah, that's dumb.

"...it surprises me how nonchalant I am about getting isekai to a fictional world." I said. It's an odd feeling, being in someone else's literal shoes and not freaking out about it. Maybe Ozpin's mentality is affecting me? I mean, he is the one who gets a new body every time he dies so he is likely used to it. He is the Doctor Who of anime.

Now if only I could get my hands on a TARDIS...

Come to think of it, where is the old man? If I know my lore, the old wizard can talk to his hosts like a little voice in their heads... before their souls merge and are overwritten by said voice completely.

I shiver a little at that thought, let's not think about that for now.

Anyways, the question right now is where I am in the timeline. From what Glynda said, it seems that I am at the beginning of Volume 1 but there's no way of knowing that's true.

In the interrogation room is none other than Ruby Rose getting a verbal beatdown by Beacon's resident dominatrix.

... fuck.

She steps aside as I walk in with a plate full of cookies in one hand and a cane in the other. "Now, I know what you're thinking: 'Who is this old but handsome guy and why does he have a plate of cookies?' And the answer is because."

Ruby tilts her head cutely. "Because...?"

"That's why." I set down the plate on the table and immediately she gobbles them up like there's no tomorrow.

I manage to sneak in and take a cookie for myself. "So Glynda told me that you stopped an attempted robbery."

"Yup." Ruby says as she devours more cookies.

"Why?"

Ruby abruptly stops eating. "Why what?"

"Well, the police are well capable of stopping robberies of this scale and with our disciplinarian," I point at Glynda "on the scene, it would have been a piece of cake to stop them. So why put yourself on the line like that?"

"Because it was the right thing to do." Ruby replies instantly.

"..."

"..."

"...screw it. You wanna come to my school?" I asked.

Ruby's head shakes violently (I probably shouldn't have given her so many cookies). "YES!!!"

"Then welcome aboard, Ruby Rose!" I exclaim and leave the room. It takes Glynda a solid minute for her brain to reboot and chase after me.

"Ozpin, are you insane!? She is just a child!" Glynda yells at me.

"I can assure you, Glynda, that I am not insane." I told her. "My mother had me tested."

Glynda gives me a look before she continues. "With all due respect, letting a child attend a combat school of our caliber is dangerous. Even if she had training from Qrow, it is still not a good environment for her."

"Glynda please, don't worry." I tap my finger on my head. "I have a plan."

Nah, I just said that so that she wouldn't get in my case about it. How Ozma was able to withstand her nagging and complaining is beyond me, the blessing of a long life I guess.

'Ozma, are you watching? I hope you are because I am changing the game whether you people like it or not.' A smile appears before it breaks into full blown laughter, much to Glynda's shock.

Oh yeah, this is going to be an interesting year.

Salem suddenly pauses.

"Your Grace, is something wrong?" Hazel asked

"For a brief moment... I felt a chill." Salem states before she shrugs. "It's likely nothing."

Author Notes

Oh Salem, you have no idea.

I just had this idea today and I've just been itching to write it down... so I did. I want to know what you guys think? Should I keep going or not? I really want to hear your thoughts.

You guys already know the drill at this point, but convenience, please leave a comment/review.

Peace~