A/N: Hello, everyone! Seriously, thank you for following this story closely. The votes have been amazing. This is #85 in Non-Fiction while TMMM is at #52. It's crazy especially since I didn't post this story until recently. Anyway... I decided to post this since people are pulling their hair out from last chapter's cliffhanger. LOL!

Ch. 14 is going to offer a lot of insight into the past four years. As to whether you guys agree with what you find out or not, well, that's just how it rolls. The characters don't always make the best choices, and sometimes they compound their mistakes, but their hearts are usually in the right place.

Hope you enjoy this one! =)

***Dedicating this one to inkzerospace for gifting us with Beloved Beast. I love fairytales and this is one of my favorites ever in WP. The whole book has a dreamlike quality to it and both blind beauty and the beast are so endearing you just root for them from start to finish. =)***

***

I temporarily lost my mind.

I mean, that must be the only explanation to why I found my arms surging up to lock around Sebastian’s neck as he nearly lifted me off my feet, kissing me with torrid intent that I matched without pause.

His mouth was hot, moist and demanding, his tongue coaxing mine into a sensual mating.

My brain short-circuited, my heart sent a rush of fevered blood through every vein in my body.

Oh, God. How I’ve wanted this for so long.

It was true. I’ve learned to admit to a lot less in the last four years but one thing I wouldn’t, couldn’t deny was that Sebastian still stirred me with the same power that enraptured and crushed me that one unforgettable summer.

My heart ached with his nearness, with memories of the days when we held each other this close, kissed with tenderness and passion and promised each other love forever.

And he broke that promise.

The pain, dulled by the years, slashed me anew, and with a low cry, I tore myself away from Sebastian, stumbling back unsteadily.

He caught me by the elbows, allowing some distance between us without completely releasing me.

His hair was a tousled mess, his eyes bright with emotion, his breathing uneven.

“Cassandra,” he rasped. “I... I’m... I’ve missed you so much.”

His raw confession worsened the turmoil inside me and I closed my eyes briefly, waiting for the tears to abate. The last thing I wanted was to break down in front of him after four years of reining in my feelings.

“What do you want, Sebastian?” I asked weakly. “What are we doing here?”

His grip loosened on my arms, his thumbs gently rubbing my skin.

I pressed my lips together to fight the shiver that ran up my spine.

“We have to talk. This isn’t the best place and time to do it. We can go out for dinner tonight and talk then.”

“No.” I took another step back, shaking his hold loose. This time, he let me go.

“We’re not doing anything else other than be civil together at work. I think, despite the past or maybe because of it, we can at least grant each other that.”

His face darkened. “I have something more than civility in mind. I’ll pick you up at seven, Cassandra.”

“I’m not going out to dinner with you, Sebastian!” I insisted, my tone rigid with indignation. “You and I are no longer anything more than just boss and employee.”

“You very well know we are a hell lot more than that!” he growled, leaping to his feet and pacing briskly.

I stood defiantly in the face of his rising temper. “No, we’re not. You made sure of that.”

He stopped and turned to me, his jaw clenched, his eyes stormy. “You still hate me. You’re still angry.”

I sighed and turned away, staring out into the bright, clear day outside. “No, I’m not angry. Not anymore. And I never hated you.”

“You cast me out of your life. It couldn’t have been anything else but hate.”

I glanced at him and almost smiled. “It was self-preservation. And it was a long time ago, Sebastian. We’ve both moved on. Just leave me in peace.”

He perched on his desk, watching me intently. “You’re the one who decided to work here.”

I sighed. “I know. I’m not as wise as I thought I’d become.”

“It’s been four long years, Cassandra, but I don’t think either of us is anywhere near forgetting or moving on.”

I scoffed. “Are you serious? You’re the one who’d been toting women around left and right. Did you even notice the last four years, Sebastian?”

He scowled. “I noticed every single day, Cassandra. But I know a good, important investment needs time.”

He got up on his feet and stood in front of me, his hand reaching up to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. “You’re lovelier than I remember, Cassandra. You look more grown up, your figure more defined, your confidence more sensual. I knew time would only do you good.”

“Yes, time taught me to be less foolish and fanciful,” I snapped, extremely annoyed at his casual reference to me as if I were an item on his investment portfolio he’d patiently waited to yield over the years. “I thought I grew up a long time ago. But you gave me an entirely different kind of education I will never forget.”

He flinched as if I’d slapped him and a part of me secretly regretted my outburst.

That summer was a catastrophe of both our making.

He stepped back, his jaw clenching in an effort to restrain his temper. “And so did you, sweet. I laid my heart out to you and you flung it back in my face. I can’t say that the experience had been pleasant.”

“Would it have made a difference, Sebastian, whether I agreed to marry you or not?” I demanded bitterly. “How do I know that you weren’t just going to sleep with another woman anyway days after we get shackled together?”

“Because I didn’t sleep with Natalie, dammit!”

I stood absolutely still, staring at him blankly.

He raked a hand through his hair as a string of curses ripped from his mouth, his eyes squinting close briefly, his lips clamping together.

“I hadn’t slept with her when you walked in on us,” he said slowly, his bright green eyes gazing down into mine. “She came that afternoon to apologize for turning you away. I needed someone to talk to so I asked her to stay for coffee. When I blurted out that I proposed to you, she dropped her cup and spilled coffee all over herself. Percy had to throw her dress into the washer so I lent her a shirt.”

I swallowed with great difficulty, my heart pounding like a crazed drum inside my chest.

I opened my mouth to speak but no voice came out.

I forced the lump down my throat and tried again. “Then why the hell did you let me think that you slept with her?”

Sebastian’s face hardened like granite. “Because you hurt me so damned much I wanted to hurt you back. First, you didn’t love me enough to marry me. Next, you were ready to believe the worst of me before I could even get a chance to explain. Then you taunted me with my sins. I lashed out. I didn’t want to be the only one hurting.”

I bit the inside of my cheek as I perched on the thick, sturdy arm rest of a leather armchair, groping for some internal balance. “She stayed the night, Sebastian, and I don’t think it’s because of the laundry.”

Guilt became plain on his face. “Yes, she did. And that’s when my lies became the truth. I wanted to prove to myself that I didn’t need you. That I was still in control. That you haven’t broken me. Natalie never forgave me for crying out your name over and over again as I used her to vent out my suffering. So you see, you weren’t wrong in hating me. I still hate myself.”

His confession didn’t make the pain hurt less but it consoled me somehow that Sebastian didn’t cheat on me. Very minor technicalities, I know, but I’d already marched out of his life when he let his demons win him over.

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this when you came to see me at school?” I asked quietly.

“Because it didn’t matter,” he said harshly. “What good is a truth about a lie I made good on anyway?”

I looked away. “It would’ve mattered to me.”

“I don’t even know why I came then,” he continued gruffly. “Maybe because I was going out of my mind without you. But even then, coming to see you, I knew I already lost you to the life you wanted.”

The life I wanted was the one I’d have with you.

But I didn’t say any of that.

I took a deep breath and got up on my feet, turning towards the door. “Well, I guess no matter what really happened, we’re back to where we are now—apart. I have to go, Sebastian.”

“Not a chance in hell.” His expression was fierce when he reached out and grabbed me by the waist, pressing me against him. “I didn’t wait four years just to let you walk away again, Cassandra. You’ve got what you wanted. Now it’s my turn.”

I glared up at him. “What do you mean you waited four years? What, did you pencil me in on your calendar? Check back in four years?”

His eyes glittered. “I never once stopped you from coming back. You stayed away and I let you. You wanted an independent life—a chance at being regular Cassandra Collins—and I gave it to you hoping that it’d be enough. Well, four years has been a blasted eternity. I’m done waiting.”

Sebastian lowered his head and sought my lips with another bruising kiss, his fingers tangling into my unbound hair. I could feel his desperation with every stroke, every touch, every breath we shared and my defenses crumbled like they were made of sand.

I slipped my own hands through his hair, cradling his face with my other, kissing him back for all I was worth.

How easy it would be to shed the pain and hurt of the last four years—to step back into the arms where I found happiness and solace, to lose myself once again in a tumultuous love affair with this man who craved and needed me like I were his soul.

“I’ve waited so long to kiss you like this again,” Sebastian murmured as he trailed kisses along my jaw. “I thought I would go crazy counting the days until you reappeared in my life. I thought you would never get here. I worried you’d get scared in the last minute and decide to go work somewhere else.”

I stilled.

His words replayed in my head, a cold fist of dread tightening in my stomach.

I abruptly shoved him off of me. “What do you mean you thought I’d never get here? That I might get scared and decide to work somewhere else? Did you know I was going to work here?”

His face tightened with frustration, his green eyes flickering warily.

He took a moment before answering. “Yes. I knew.”

My eyes narrowed. “When did you know?”

“The second you signed your name on the dotted line,” he replied, sighing loudly as he staggered back several steps. “I know the exact time you walked in through the door on your first day. I know what you did and who you talked to every single day since you started.”

I sucked in a breath but refused to let my gaze waver. “And pray tell how you became privy to all of that information. Were you having me monitored, Sebastian?”

His expression darkened in annoyance. “I wanted to make sure everything went smoothly. I didn’t want you to be unhappy and decide to leave. I worked hard to get you here. There’s no way I’m going to let you slip through my fingers just like that.”

“You worked hard to get me here?” I echoed in incredulity. “I daresay I worked hard to get me—”

My words came to an abrupt halt just as the truth dawned on me.

Sebastian was watching me and something on my face must’ve registered on him because he suddenly paled and straightened, reaching for me. I instinctively stepped back.

“Just what the hell did you do, Sebastian?” I suddenly yelled, exploding in glorious fury.

He hesitated. “Cassandra—”

“A handful of lies cost us everything last time, Sebastian,” I warned, seething. “Are we going to start with them now too? Because this time this may cost you plenty more than what you thought you lost four years ago.”

“I did what I needed to do, alright?” he snapped, now furious as well. “I made sure college happened. I made sure you were comfortable. I made sure you got to do everything you wanted to do. I made sure you were happy. I made sure—”

I clenched my fists. “Did you have anything to do with the generous bursary I received? Because it felt like a fairy godmother dropped that one in.”

He pursed his lips in a deliberate attempt at delaying. “Elliot St. Claire was my grandfather on my mother’s side. He believed in everyone’s right to education. He wouldn’t have minded that I created the foundation with his name.”

My eyes almost bugged out. “You created the foundation? But Burkett said—I mean, there were other students...”

“Kevin Burkett was happy to start the project,” Sebastian answered irritably. “You wouldn’t take anything from me willingly so I had to make it happen some other way. I decided to expand it. It’s now a full-fledged scholarship program. You just happened to be its first beneficiary. You won’t be the last.”

Part of me was relieved while another was flabbergasted at how far Sebastian went.

Flabbergasted and appalled.

“So you funded most of my college expenses. Did you also decree that I receive three job offers upon graduation?”

“Of course not,” he returned quickly, scowling, before he saw my glare and relaxed. “The offer to work for my company was a given from day one. The other job offers you earned purely because of your academic merit. We had to compete to make sure you didn’t choose any of the other ones.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “That would explain my excellent employment package—the outrageous salary, the all-expense-paid move to Cobalt Bay, the apartment. How the hell did they even know what colors I liked?”

Sebastian shifted uncomfortably. “I picked them out. I personally selected your apartment. I wanted something that would suit you perfectly—something you’d like.”

If I weren’t so angry, I’d smile.

Dealing with Sebastian Vice was like trying to defend one’s self against a double-edged sword.

“Did you paint my walls?”

He flushed. “Yes.”

I took a deep breath and looked away before I lost control and rushed into Sebastian’s arms.

“How about the promotion?” I asked. “Did you instruct Tamara to promote me to a senior business analyst on my first day at work?”

“No,” he answered, his voice lilting slightly with some humor now. “I told Tamara you would make a good fit in her team. She wasn’t happy that I was pulling strings. She was ready to risk my wrath and refuse but she looked at your credentials and told me that she gets to claim credit for your success because she’s taking you on, not because I demanded her to do it but because she sees your potential. The promotion is all hers. And yours.”

I grimaced. “Glad to know I was able to accomplish some of it on my own. Because it’s starting to become very clear that the last four years of my life had been very much a farce—all that I thought I accomplished for myself is cheapened by the fact that you made them all happen. I thought I was finally getting my shot at independence but you cheated me out of it.”

“I simply paved the way; you had to walk the road. You would’ve made it on your own, Cassandra. I don’t doubt that.”

His eyes raked over me, glinting from the play of frustration, longing and guilt in his expression. “I’m sorry for intervening. You wouldn’t have accepted anything if you knew it was from me. I thought it was a good compromise to give you your taste of independence but also make sure that you are taken care of. I didn’t want you to have any reason to turn to your bastard cousin or anyone else for that matter, for anything. I would’ve never abandoned you completely to fate. I provisioned for you in my will in case something happened to me in those four years. You would’ve never needed for anything. I wouldn’t have lasted this long if I didn’t know you were in a good place and I certainly couldn’t die in peace without you being looked after.”

Dear God.

How do you stay angry with a man so obsessed with your comfort and welfare he would cross every line to see to it?

“I know you’re not happy about it but it’s all in the past now,” he continued, getting back up on his feet and starting to pace again. “I want to make things right this time. You can work, open your bookstore, do whatever you need to do for yourself. We don’t have to get married right away. If you don’t want to get married at all, that’s fine. We can be happy together without the paperwork.”

My jaw dropped open.

“You still want me?” I asked in a barely audible whisper. “You still want to marry me?”

He glared at me as if my confusion was irritating him. “What? Did you think I stopped? Of course, I still want you. That was the whole point of waiting four years—I was waiting until you were ready.”

Suddenly, he stilled, wariness and doubt creeping into his eyes.

“Why? Is it you who don’t want me?” he asked, paling. Then his brows furrowed, his expression that of renewed determination. “Because the kisses we just had don’t lie. You want it. You want me. You want us. There’s never been anyone else for you the past four years.”

I didn’t care that he was right. He didn’t need to rub it in my face.

“I can’t say it’s been the same for you, has it, Sebastian?” I shot back tartly. “Because while you were waiting, you were fucking other women to pass the time.”

He flinched, guilt sweeping across his face. “I’m a man. I have needs.”

I threw my hands up, completely appalled. “What an absolute chauvinist you are.”

“The women didn’t mean anything. You know they never have!”

I narrowed my eyes. “Something needs to change about your attitude towards women, Sebastian. You have to stop using them for sex.”

“Why, when they use me just the same?” he snapped. “They were just distractions, Cassandra. Do you think in four years, I haven’t once been tempted to just show up at your door and claim you back, your independent life be damned?”

“And what if I tell you that no, it hasn’t been a lonely four years for me?” I demanded hotly. “I could’ve been with a number of other men.”

“Of course, not,” he snorted, rolling his eyes. “I made sure of it.”

My palms smacked the surface of his desk hard but I didn’t even really notice the pain. “You made sure of it? Did you manipulate my relationships too?”

He suddenly looked very uncomfortable. “I just made sure they realized it wasn’t in their best interest to become romantically involved with you.”

I groaned and threw my hands up in the air. “Oh, my God! What is this, The Truman Show? Just who the hell do you think you are to play God with my life, Sebastian?”

He now looked affronted. “I’m not playing God, Cassandra. To be perfectly honest, I’m just desperate. Yes, Sebastian Vice—desperate.”

He rounded his desk to stand in front of me, his face strained with nothing else I could describe more accurately but pain.

“Desperate for you to come back, desperate to finally put things back together, desperate to go back to a time when I was happy. I’m worse off now than I was before I met you. Because you gave me a taste of what it was like and took it away!”