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"Father"

Adelio can't bear to look at him. Weak and old, her father lays on his deathbed with chapped lips and hollow eyes. The memory of it is still very vivid. The darkness of the royal bedchamber manages to somewhat hide her dying father, as he lays there beneath all of his thick blankets. Such blankets are only used before death, nobody else feels the need to use such warm fabric in such a hot climate. But dying people do. Drained of everything, they freeze from the inside. Adelio never imagined that she would one day see her father in this way.

It's not like she cares about him, not in the slightest. But the king's condition has worsened in the last few years at a rapid pace. It was only ten years ago that he was still raging on her mother like a maniac, spreading fear through the kingdom, fighting in wars. It's almost insulting to see the man who very often used to hurt her mother suddenly laying so weak and pathetic. If only he had been this weak from the beginning. Maybe her mother would've survived. But Adelio can't get too stupid with her thoughts. If her father hadn't been such a huge man with a monster-like figure, she would never have passed as a man, having inherited all of his features.

The king can't speak, he lost his sense of nearly anything several days ago. Adelio isn't expecting him to react to anything that she does, but just to be sure- her head falls down into a bow before she approaches the bed. The door is locked and nobody is allowed inside, so this is the first and last moment Adelio will ever have with her father in peace. She has never, ever, felt comfortable around the king before, but now he's nearly a corpse and nothing else. She no longer has to fear his opinion, or fear what he would do if he found out about her truth. That is why she is now willing to do something that has been bugging her mind for a really long time.

"I will take good care of the kingdom when you're gone"

She stands above his bed, looking down at him with cold and unemotional eyes. There is not a single hint of pity or sadness inside Adelio. The only thing that does make her feel a bit emotional is how this reminds her of the day her mother died. It was of childbirth, officially, but Adelio knows the truth. He hit her as she was pregnant, she flew to the floor and she quickly went into early labor. The baby survived but she didn't, there was just too much blood. Had there been a doctor around like planned, maybe she would've survived. Adelio thinks about it every now and then. Whenever she sees her father's face, all she can think of is what a monster he used to be. Adelio was ten. Now that she is in her twenties, her scary father looks more like a withering grandfather. She feels no pity for him, none at all.

"If only you could've been present at mother's funeral. Do you remember? You spent the night with your mistress"

Adelio's words are laced with venom, but her tone is even and calm. She glances at her father to see if he reacts, and surely enough his mouth opens and closes, his eyes are wide in horror. He can't move nor can he talk but what gladdens her is that he can hear every last word that comes out of her mouth. She has waited for this for a long time. Her father, finally without power, finally weak enough to know the truth. Something which she has been dying to tell him ever since her mother died. Adelio sighs.

"Do you remember how you threatened my mother, saying that you would kill her if her first born wasn't a son? You brought this all upon yourself, didn't you?"

She takes a deep breath. The next few words are her long awaited ones. This is the kind of reveal that feels like a heavy stone burden has been lifted off her shoulders. She's holding the stone in the air, and now she's going to throw it.

"I'm a woman, actually"

Adelio analyzes her father's reaction as she says it. Words that sound so unfamiliar to her mouth, she hasn't heard anybody say this since her mother died. 'I'm a woman'. Because that's what she is. A woman desperate to survive, keeping both herself, her siblings and her mother alive, along with her entire kingdom, just by hiding her gender. And her father who has spent the last twenty years feeling relieved that he finally got his son and heir, who has spent years adoring and bragging about his great son Adelio who wins wars and is strong and proud, whatever he feels about it the outcome will be the same. It doesn't matter if he feels horror or if he feels nothing, in fact Adelio wants him to be horrified because that's what he deserves. This is her's and her mother's final revenge to a man laying on his deathbed, and honestly she hopes this will stick with him all the way to the afterlife.

"I'm a woman pretending to be a man"

And just like they say, when one secret is out, the rest follow.

"Is there something that you would want to tell me?"

Adelio has spent a lot of time thinking about this. The moment she heard the conversation between the two Blue Knight siblings, she obviously ran away. Getting caught eavesdropping on such a private conversation isn't exactly ideal, it would've created quite an awkward situation. So she rushed back to her office and continued signing papers, papers which had been left in a huge unsigned pile ever since her father became too sick to move. She sat there in her office chair, trying to focus on a bunch of different agreements and decrees while her mind kept drifting to the ethical question at hand.

Would it be okay for her to pry about Maud's secret without revealing her own? Is it okay for her to be angry about Maud keeping secrets from her when she is keeping a way bigger secret? And she quickly came to the conclusion that no, she isn't allowed to be upset and no, it's not okay to pry. And still it kept bothering her. Maybe because for once, she feels what Maud has probably been feeling this entire time, and guilt is eating her alive.

The thing is, Adelio doesn't regret keeping such a big secret from her wife. She has no other choice than to keep quiet of it, not even her own sister is aware. She has spent all of her life with her younger sister and still, that poor princess doesn't know, so obviously her wife is going to be kept in the dark too. The only ones who know are her dead father and her dead mother, and that's how it should be. She'll tell the rest of the lot at their death beds, or something. It's what's for the best, it's what's safest. And really she isn't lying either. Whether she says that she is actually a woman or not, the truth is that during every waking moment she is a man and telling someone or them knowing about it won't change a thing.

But the relationship between her and Maud is admittedly different. They are not just husband and wife, or wife and wife to be specific. But increasingly Adelio has begun to feel as if their marriage is less of an arranged one and more of a love match. She adores Maud, no matter what her secret might be she will continue to adore her. Her looks were the first thing she was drawn to but her determination, courage and belief in their relationship were the factors that truly grew her love for the shorter to the extent that it is now. Love doesn't come easily for someone like Adelio, a woman who has sworn off love by realizing that it is immoral no matter which gender her partner is. But now the marriage that she was sure was going to be strictly about politics has turned into a matter of heart and emotion, as she spends nearly every living second thinking about the lovely princess that entered her life one wonderful year ago.

Despite having all of these thoughts, despite stating that she loves Maud no matter what her secret is, and understanding that it is immoral for her to pry despite having a secret of her own, the king finds herself surprised when she can't stop herself from asking Maud the moment the queen enters their private bedchamber. And she can't take it back, not when Maud immediately turns around with surprise written all over her face. They stand there for a moment, just staring at each other, and Maud slowly grows suspicious. You can see it in her eyes. It's not unexpected, honestly. She was just talking about this with Makai for the first time in months, and suddenly Adelio is asking about something similar only hours later? It's obvious that Maud would get suspicious,

"What do you mean?"

Maud has been undressed by her maids, so that she is now in a much more simple and comfortable linen nightgown. It has embroidered flower- and exotic bird patterns on it. Adelio has always liked this one the most. She gets up from her seated position on their bed, approaching Maud with slow, careful steps. The queen doesn't take her eyes off Adelio before the king has reached her, and they spend those few seconds staring each other down. It's like they are both trying to figure each other out, and even though it's a little exhausting, Adelio has to admit that she doesn't mind getting to stare at her beautiful wife all day, nor does she mind being stared at either. Adelio takes her wife's hand in hers.

"There is something I need to tell you, too. I think you already know that I am hiding something from you"

And maybe she is being reckless, just a little bit. Adelio is suddenly willing to throw away years of well thought-out planning just for the woman in front of her. But that's just it. Maud is so much more than just a random woman. She is the first person Adelio has ever loved and no matter what happens between them, she is willing to risk and lose everything for her wife. Logically thinking, even if Maud would want to reveal her after she finds out, there is no way that she actually would. They are no longer one, but two. Anything that happens to Adelio happens to Maud, and the other way around. A queen is dependent on her king. But Adelio doesn't want to think of it that way, she wants to think of Maud as someone she can trust. Someone she could tell anything.

Months of keeping this secret from her suddenly seem so stupid. She should've been honest from the start. She had no idea what a kind person Maud was then but now she knows, now she really truly knows. Finding out about Maud having a secret really hurt, they are supposed to be one and not two, joined together, knowing of each other's faults and weaknesses, through sickness and in health. That is why Adelio is suddenly realizing how incredibly unfair it is for her to still be keeping this secret. Even now, she trusts Maud completely. Now she doesn't care if their relationship is immoral or not. Especially now that she knows she would gladly throw away her entire life just for her.

"Just tell me your secret and I'll tell you mine"

Maud's eyes widen. It seems like she truly can't believe that this is happening. She has waited a year, a whole year for this, and now that the truth is just about to be given to her, she can't believe it. Is Adelio really willing to just tell her everything? Maud has been aware that her husband is keeping a secret from her since the beginning, she has always been good at reading people. The way Adelio's eyes were always a bit guilty, secretive, mysterious. It was clear. But whatever the king's secret is, she could never quite figure it out.

Or maybe she always knew. It was just too big for her to realize. For her to acknowledge that it was true.

Because Maud isn't stupid.

The bandages that would sometimes flash beneath her husband's clothes.

The angry bursts whenever she would walk in on the king changing.

Adelio's odd body shape, not really matching the silhouette of a man.

And the unexplainable request of them suddenly adopting a child, in utmost secrecy.

So with all of this hanging on the line, with her so badly wanting to know what her husband's secret is, Maud also forgets to fear her own secret. She disregards everything that Makai has told her, ever. And maybe she was stupid to listen to her brother from the start. He is just her mean brother after all, and Adelio is her husband. The one she loves. And so she doesn't even hesitate before blurting out the thing that has been on her mind for months.

"I was raised a peasant"

Adelio blinks. Maud stares up into her husband's eyes.

"Makai brought me to the palace for the first time two months before our wedding"

They stand there in silence for a while, as Adelio lets it settle in. Maud waits for him to say anything, praying that he won't get angry with her. Quite the opposite. The king suddenly bursts out laughing, and Maud begins to wonder what is wrong with him. She frowns, still holding his hands, as he continues to laugh with no sign of stopping. It doesn't take long before she grows frustrated, her cheeks pink from embarrassment as she whines for him to stop.

"Why are you laughing? I'm serious"

Adelio stops himself, wiping his tears. But he still can't stop the grin that seems to be nearly permanent on his face. Maud looks at him nervously, expecting his answer.

"I'm sorry Maud, I didn't mean to laugh. It's just so cute"

Maud frowns.

"What do you mean? How can it possibly be cute?!"

Adelio smiles.

"I thought it was something serious. This is nothing to worry about. I don't care who you were before we met, I believe I have already said as much. I love you for who you are now"

And Maud can't help but blush as Adelio suddenly confesses his love for her. She turns away from him bashfully, completely forgetting that it was his turn to tell his secret. If she had known he would've been this nonchalant when hearing her secret she would've told him on the first day. Honestly Maud doesn't understand why Makai was so worried about it anyway. Who cares where a princess is raised? She is still a princess. Adelio is right, she should've known Adelio would've acted like this. He has always been this kind to her, why would a secret change anything?

Secrets are always ridiculous, right? There is nothing life-changing about them.

"Since you told me your secret, I'll tell you mine"

Maud smiles with excitement. Adelio however, turns serious.

"But you have to promise to never tell a soul"

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