Ezra POV

Watching Klepto walk into her house without even offering me a single word or look feels like being stabbed. I know I'm in too deep this time.

I had failed her miserably, taken the one thing she looked forward to everyday. Going home to see her little brothers.

As soon as it was revealed that she was to be moved to the pack office building, and that it was my plan, the look in her eyes was absolutely heart wrenching

She had stared at me with distrust and agony, I knew that she felt like I betrayed her, that I'm just like everyone else.

It hurts to know that I hurt her that bad.

But I don't regret it, I can't regret it. It saved her.

I would've said anything to convince the pathetic Alpha to let her go free. Knowing she had been rotting in that cell for nearly a week makes me angry with myself for not finding her sooner.

I'm such an idiot.

If my plan to get her out hadn't worked, I would've snapped again. My fists would find another victim, but facing a werewolf would result in a death, and I can't afford that kind of blood on my hands.

Killing the Alpha of a pack I'm sworn to protect isn't the best idea.

After I drop her off at her house, I decide I can't be around her without breaking my vow to ignore her place as my mate. Seeing her so incredibly mad at me stirs up the desire I have to claim her, and I can't let my weak moments control my life.

So, I do what I typically do when I'm wrestling with emotions, I shift into my lycan and propel myself like a torpedo through the woods without a second thought. It's second nature to be a wild animal for me.

The woods are my escape, my safe haven, and I need it more than ever now.

My massive frame tramples fallen leaves and tree limbs, my height allowing me a vantage point to see more than any wolf. The tips of my pointed ears nearly make it past the tree tops. A chilly wind blows through the air, the feeling of it all is exhilarating... and distracting.

I run for a few hours before I turn around and go back to our cabin. As soon as I get there I shift back to my human body, happy that I haven't been spotted by any pack members.

The last thing I need is more wolves terrified of me.

It's time for my shift with the patrol and I need to be at the border soon. I get dressed quickly and half hazardously, putting on whatever is clean and warm without really looking or caring what I look like.

By the time I make it to the the borderlines, the sun is beginning to set and the light steadily decreasing.

November is just around the corner, and hopefully with it will come snow and all I can feel is relief at the thought. As a child, the snow was always one of my favorite things. My adoptive parents were happy to let me play in the winter weather, as long as it kept me out of their hair.

I had been glad to go along with it. Staying out of their way made my life a lot happier and much easier for me when I was young.

My thoughts about snow are interrupted by a dark laugh, to which I turn to watch as someone approaches me. One whiff and I know who it is.

Reid.

My colleague and friend doesn't look any different than usual, all the face abrasions I'd caused him have healed over quickly, probably within the first hour of our fight.

"The knight in shining armor goes off to save his princess, only for her to spit in his face." He says in a singsong voice, humming in thought as he leans against a large boulder decorated with dark green moss.

"How did you find out about that?" I ask in a bitter voice. I don't want this to end like it did last time, I'm not in the mood for joking.

He shrugs, seemingly disinterested and amused at the same time. His mood sure is bright, especially considering everything that happened earlier today.

"I have my sources." He muses, crossing his legs at the ankles and eyeing me lazily.

I scoff and turn back to observe the pink sorbet sky.

"If you can call Hyrum a source." I say, and he laughs at that.

I feel a pang of regret as I glance down at my knuckles, the blood staining them has turned black and crusty in the hours since the fight, and I have yet to wash the reminder away. I feel even worse when I remember the dried blood on Klepto's arms.. and the way she curiously observed my gory hands with her tired, haunted gray eyes.

"Listen... I'm sorry. I know what I said was out of line. Ace has been trying to convince me I'm innocent in all of this, but I'm not." He sighs, rubbing his forehead in frustration as he tries to make his words match what he feels.

"I pushed you on purpose, I knew you would do something. I wanted you to, and I have no idea why. I'm so stupid. You're our leader, and I need to treat you with respect."

"That's exactly where you're wrong." I say with a hiss. "I'm a terrible excuse for a lycan, for a warrior. I know the way I ignore her is awful... I don't expect you to understand that. Or accept it. If I were you I would've done the same, or worse."

I contemplate what I say in the following silence and know it to be true. If I saw a member of my team ignoring their soulmate I would have some serious words for them.

Never in my life would I have thought that I'd be the one doing the ignoring. Everyone knows it's one of the worst ways to disrespect the Moon Goddess... and ruin your life.

I guess I'd just never considered what would happen when I found my mate, I kind of just assumed I'd be alone forever.

"If you know it's wrong, then why do you do it?" He ponders in the night air, seemingly to himself.

A war wages in my head. To tell him or not to tell him?

I look at him through the fading light, remembering all the moments of friendship we've shared over the past 11 years of working together. He is the longest standing member to ever join my team, and I've grown close to him over the rough years. Through the bad and the good.

He's like a brother to me. At least, what I would assume having a brother is like.

After a tense few moments of silence, I sigh and decide to let it off my chest.

"I can't receive a higher rank when I have a mate in a little wolf pack, can I?" I watch as Reid's mouth drops open, disbelief coloring his features.

"So this is all about rank?" He doesn't sound angry, just completely shocked, and a bit appalled. I look away, not able to take his reaction.

"It's not only that." I sigh, rubbing my aching forehead. I'm embarrassed about what I am about to reveal, "I've never known how to show affection. My parents were cold. They never really cared about me in any way that counted. How am I supposed to love someone when I was never taught how?"

I don't look up. I can't.

Revealing one of my deepest secrets is tougher than I thought it would be. I feel exposed and raw, like Reid can see through my skin and straight into my core where my soul resides.

Suddenly a hand drops onto my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. Reid's eyes are brimming with sorrow, eyebrows pinched tightly together.

"Ezra, you don't... you don't need to be taught how to love someone." Reid says, sounding exasperated.

"Then how do you do it?" I ask, knowing that the question is ridiculous, but that I want an answer nevertheless.

Reid goes deep in thought before shrugging one of his shoulders.

"You just do."

I snort, trying to diffuse the uncomfortable feeling building in my chest.

"Great advice. 'You just do.' I should get that tattooed." Reid bursts out laughing and pats me on the shoulder. I take a deep breath, the pressure still dissipating bit by bit.

"Well, I never said I was a poet, Blackmore. Try asking Hyrum, that guy always surprises me with what come out of his mouth. He's like a wizard."

"Yeah, or I could ask your little brother so he could fall to the ground laughing his ass off."

Reid grins wickedly, shaking his head.

"That kid can't be serious for five seconds to save his life. He's always been a goof, and always will be."

After a few more laughs, we head deeper into the woods as the sun finally dips past the horizon, saying goodbye until morning. The frigid night air keeps me awake despite the tiredness lingering under my skin.

Patrolling the borders is a mundane job, it seems to drone on repeat. It's the same every night. Hearing Klepto had spotted a rogue makes me more vigilant in spotting something, anything at all that could be a sign. I get a whole lotta nothing, though.

I wish more than anything that I can just talk to her. Pain flickers in my head as a headache starts to form.

The worst part of all of this mess is knowing that she probably hates me now. Not that she liked me by any means before, but I made everything a whole lot worse.

I might've just put the last nail in my own coffin, and I could be spending the rest of my life trapped in it.

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Klepto POV

My arms ache with exertion as I stack the last of my massive book collection beside my bed. I blow out an infuriated sigh and stare at the dusty thing, the patchwork quilt draped across it looks ancient and smells even older.

Paullini was quick to point out that the bed is bigger than the little twin bed I frequently complain about. I know he's only trying to cheer me up, but his efforts are in vain. Nothing could make me feel better about this situation.

The pain flares into my lungs at the thought of the predicament I've found myself in. My heart yearns for the company of my young siblings. The little boys that help get me through the day.

I find myself glaring at the floor as if it's the evil villian who had cursed me with this fate. Unfortunately, my mate is the one to blame.

My eyes subconsciously dart to my burned wrists, wrapped tightly in white gauze. I'm always aware of the slight buzzing of my skin under the bandages, and I know that the pain of my time in the dungeons will forever be displayed for all to see.

Rubbing my forehead, I close my eyes and try to think clearly, sighing shakily.

The physical scars will always be there, but so will the emotional ones, and those were much harder to get past. There will be no babysitting to comfort the continuous pain. I am undeniably alone.

My stubborn lycan mate saved me, right before he ruined my life.

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If you're reading this, I love you:)