[9]

I look up at him through my thick eyelashes, a soft pink tainting my cheeks due to the proximity. His eyes are cold, distant, almost as if his mind was somewhere completely else than his body. His lips are in a tight line, his jaw clenched tightly.

I try to wiggle myself out of his grip, pressing my left hand against his shoulder, whereupon he groans out in pain. I immediately stop moving, my eyes wide. Is he hurt? My gaze wanders to his shoulder. Only now, that I look at it more closely, do I notice the small rip in his leather jacket, displaying his in blood covered skin.

My eyes snap to his', but he avoids my gaze and pushes me away from him. I stumble backwards, almost falling again due to the suddenness of his act, but I manage to catch myself.

"Are you alright?" I ask, despite the fact that he clearly doesn't want me bothering him about his injury. To he honest, I didn't even intend on asking, it just slipped out of my mouth, rolled off my tongue, as if it was the most common thing to say. Maybe it was. I had heard it one too many times to be able to deny the fact that it's a common question.

"None of your business, Covington," he snaps. One of his hands moves up to his wounded shoulder, obscuring it from my view. My heartbeat skips a beat when I remember that night.

"Mom! Don't die, please don't die," I sobbed, my back pressed against the door, that is keeping me apart from my mother. Her heavy breathing filled my ears.

Just moments ago my father had pushed a knife into her stomach, multiple times. And I watched, frozen in my spot in the threshold. Then he pushed me backward and slammed the door into my face before I could process what was happening.

I regret it to this minute, that I didn't move, that I didn't help her, that I watched her helplessly getting beaten and then, practically getting signed her death certificate. I wish I had done something, anything.

"Just let me look at it, for God's sake!" It leaves my mouth before I can even think of possible consequences. But right after it escapes my lips, my eyes widen. I never raised my voice, only when it came to my mother. Especially not in front of people, who looked like they could rip me apart in a heartbeat.

When I slowly raise my head, Riku glares at me, his jaw clenched. I gulp visibly and bite down on my lower lip, giving in to my habit. After moments of nerve wrecking silence, he lets out a long sigh and his features loosen up. "Whatever," he grumbles, before he pulls back his hand and secures it in the pocket of his jeans.

I cautiously take a step forward, looking for any signs of him getting annoyed, and when he doesn't show any, other than his usual blank look, I take another one. I don't know why I'm helping him, but I do know that I wouldn't be able to sleep for yet another reason if I didn't at least take a look at his injury.

I reach my hand out and carefully pull the jacket over his shoulder, letting it go on his upper arm. His black T-shirt is ripped and blood seeps through it. A lot of it. By the looks of it, it's a stab wound. I pull up the short sleeve of his shirt, whereupon he hisses loudly and grabs my wrist. I flinch, feeling the coldness of his fingers once again around my fragile arm. My eyes snap to his', but this time he doesn't break the eye contact, he keeps it.

Now, that I'm so close to him, I can see flocks of gold sparkling in his dark eyes. They almost seem like they're drowning in the darkness surrounding them, all alone. And the tiny hair on his face, that I haven't noticed before, are clearly visible due to the streetlight, lighting it up; short soft-looking hair, covering his jaw line and half of his cheeks.

"Sorry," I whisper, my voice gentle yet shaky. His grip around my wrist loosens and so I focus back on his injury.

The sleeve is pulled up, leaving me free sight of his blood stained skin. There's a cut right in the middle of his shoulder, with dark red blood pouring out of it. My hands are trembling, my legs feeling wobbly. And my stomach is doing things, that I'm sure it isn't supposed to be doing. But I push those things down and ignore it the best I can, setting my priority on helping him.

Helping him.

I never thought I'd some day say, or do, something like this. Helping someone who's being called a psychopath; who has punched me so hard in the gut, that I wasn't able to breath for a couple of seconds; who has threatened me multiple times; and who has beat up someone younger than him in a dark alleyway, when he was originally supposed to be in school.

But the vivid memory of my mother's cries and screams ring in my ears, and the knife that was found right next to her corpse, covered in blood, flashes in front of my eyes. Maybe I'm doing this for myself, maybe I'm doing this for Riku, I don't know. But I do know that he's definitely not the type to go see a doctor, even in this situation, and that I never want to feel this feeling of not having done anything ever again.

Or maybe I'm just trying to find excuses for my reckless and absolutely stupid behavior. Yeah, that's most probably the case.

I snap out of my daze and gently trail the tip of my finger around his injury in a circle. Something I always did with my injuries before I treated them, ever since my mother once did it when I was still in primary school.

"What are you doing?" he suddenly asks. But not in his usual emotionless tone. No, this time a bit of genuine curiosity laced his voice.

"Just a habit. I always do it with my-" I cut myself off before anything, that I desperately want to keep a secret, slips out of my mouth. "Never mind. It's just a habit," I mumble, my eyes fixed on his wound.

"I don't have stuff with me to treat it, let's go to a grocery store. I saw one about 5 minutes from here." I don't wait for his reply, before I gently grab his uninjured arm, turn around and carefully tug at his sleeve, hoping that he would get the message. Apparently he does, because without further tugging, he follows me, either keeping his mouth shut or just not caring enough to talk.

Either way, I'm glad that he's quiet.

Together we walk down the street that I just walked through moments ago on my own, trapped in my mind. This time though, his presence keeps me away from my thoughts and gives me some peace, I'd almost say.

When we arrive at the grocery store moments later, I open the door and slip through it. The warmth of the shop embraces my body immediately and a cold shudder runs up my spine, accompanied by goosebumps, which crawl onto my skin. I halt and look around. It's a small and quite old-looking store, with a wooden desk and wooden shelves instead of the typical, that you always see in such stores. But I love it. It looks cozy and warm.

"Will you let go of my fucking arm now?" Riku says from behind me, making me spin around. I glance down at my hand, which is still tightly wrapped around his - in tattoos covered - lower arm. Heat rises to my cheeks and I instantly retreat my hand.

"Just wait here for a second," I mumble under my breath and take off to where I suppose the medical stuff might be in fast steps. Soon I'm standing in front of a shelve filled with disinfectants, health care products, skin care products and even some pads for girls. I quickly grab the things that I need and walk up to the wooden desk, my eyes bouncing between the clerk, who's sitting behind the desk with a newspaper sprawled on his lap, and Riku, whose eyes are following my every move.

"Excuse me?" The clerk's head snaps up to me, his eyebrows scrunched together and a frown etched onto his forehead.

"It's been quite a while since someone came here," he speaks, his voice gruffy and dry, as If he didn't use it often. "How can I help you?"

I look down at the stuff in my hands and place them down in front of him. "I'd like to buy those things."

His eyes scan over the ointment, the washcloth and the bandages with suspicion, but he doesn't say anything about whatever he's thinking. I hand him the money, pick up the stuff, turn around and sprint out of the shop, without bothering to drag Riku with me.

Once I'm far enough away from the shop, I take a deep breath.

The situation in there just suffocated me, that weird guy's gaze on me, the suspicion in his eyes. I don't even know why it made the panic rise in my throat, or why it made my chest tighten, but it felt like the walls were closing in on me in there. I shake the feeling off me, take another deep breath and wipe my sweaty hands on my pants.

"Covington," Riku's voice suddenly echoes in my ear. I spin around, my teeth pressed into my lip.

"Right, sorry. Let's sit down over there," I suggest, pointing at a bench underneath a tree right next to us. Without saying anything he strutts over there and sits down, a pained grimace etched onto his lips. I sigh and follow him.

"Ok, take off your jacket," I say, while I open the ointment and put some of it on the tip of my index finger. He hesitates but does it anyways, groaning in pain when he pulls the sleeve of his jacket over his blood oozing wound.

"Careful!" I warn, my hand flying to his jacket. I grab it and pull it over his hand much more carefully than he did. "It's painful if the fabric gets stuck in your wound."

"I've felt worse," he snaps, his eyes eyeing me intimidatingly; cold and distant.

"Just--" I sigh. "Just let me help you. I know you hate me because I found you beating up some younger guy and because I prevented you from putting him into the hospital, but-" Before I could dig my grave any further due to my rambling, he grabs me by my collar and pulls me closer to his face.

"Shut. Up. You have no idea what that was about and you also seem to have no idea how dangerous I am," he threatens.

I feel his hot breath against the tip of my nose, whereupon the hair on my neck stand up and goosebumps spread on my skin.

There it is again. This extremely close proximity. The one that makes me hyperventilate due to my mild claustrophobia, that has me sweating and trembling like an idiot.

But what scares me the most is, that this time my heart isn't beating rapidly due to anxiety.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hey there,

I hope you're all doing well. Here's another chappie :)

I dunno what to talk with you guys about rn, so Imma just not write any more words, lmao.

Stay safe everyone!

❤

- L I S A