"You're so fucking stupid," I told myself as I wrapped my arm again. "Why would you do this?"

Because the pain is relief and you know it. I hated myself for what I was doing but I just couldn't bring myself to stop.

"He would hate this." I put the shard back in the drawer, hoping that no one would ever find it there. I stripped myself of the gorgeous dress and put on a loose long sleeve shirt and some comfortable pants. I decided to leave the necklace on. The chain had become warm around my neck and looking at it felt like looking into his eyes.

I sprawled myself across the bed as I held it tightly in my hand. I felt alone now. And I knew I always would. Everyone said they understood, but I didn't believe them for a second. I closed my eyes and let sleep take over.

I expected dreams, but none came. The night was filled with silence and darkness. No Loki, no Thanos. It was a terrible peace. Little did I know, my current routine would fill the years to come.

*********