I adjusted my body closer and, with our hands still connected, I leaned in. His mouth almost enveloped mine in a fiery kiss.

Keyword being almost.

Before our lips could make contact, Aaron's finger did. He raised his index finger to my lips, stopping me in my movements.

"Please." He strained out, his voice laced with exhaustion.

My eyes snapped open at this and I stared at him, hoping he would offer me a reasonable explanation- But one never came.

I recoiled away from him, nodding numbly.

"Sorry." I mumbled. Tears formed in my eyes, but I wouldn't let them fall. Aaron's eyes didn't meet mine as he spoke, his voice quiet.

"No. I'm the one who should be sorry. I didn't mean to start anything. I'm sorry." He said, his eyes looking everywhere but at me.

I turned to Aaron who eyed our connected hands with a mixture of disgust and despair.

I waited. I don't know what for, but I didn't feel like moving right now. Aaron clenched and unclenched his jaw, eyeing our hands. His palm pressed against mine with a little force before he hesitantly parted his hand from mine, moving it back slowly to his side.

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"Aaron?" Her voice was soft and gentle, like music to his ears and he watched as her back hit the bank. Still, that didn't stop him and he moved closer to her, for reasons still unknown to him. If he didn't know, what he was doing.

And, oddly, he was okay with it.

*****

The only sound was that of the water as he moved towards her and he watched tentatively as she raised an eyebrow.

"Aaron?" She called again, voice soft yet inquisitive, but he didn't choose to reply. Instead, he continued his voyage towards her. Why he did so, he couldn't explain.

He had thought she would move away as he neared, but she didn't act as he had expected. Rather, she watched him curiously, eyeing his every move; wanting to know what he was going to do. It slightly pleased him that she wasn't shirking away; it was what she would usually do and it always made him question how she saw him. Was he just another dumb player in her eyes or did she see his plea for redemption?

He couldn't tell, not even when he fixed in gaze on her eyes, assessing her for an answer. He moved closer until there was a centimetre gap between his body and hers, making him suppress a smirk from how a small gasp escaped her mouth. He did love seeing the effect he had on her when she usually would just eye him with disinterest.

Perhaps, it was the fact that they were almost naked under the water that made this more exciting to him. Or, perhaps, it was her wide-eyed gaze, like a deer lost in headlights.

"Aaron?" She whispered, after what seemed to be a moment of shock and then she was looking back into his eyes just as he had done moments ago- the same assessing gaze.

He couldn't hold it then, not when he was loving how he was affecting her and his lips slowly curled upwards into a smirk.

"Well, this is compromising." He cheesed, motioning between his body and hers with a simple gesture of his finger. He said so, knowing it would irk her and his smile widened as he watched her eyes widen, showing she realised he was joking.

It only took her a second to recompose herself and then she scoffed, placing a hand against his chest to push him away. It didn't work in the slightest yet he commended her for her effort as she looked to the water in annoyance.

"You scared the shit out of me, Walker." She grumbled somberely, looking everywhere but at his eyes and it frustrated him. So, he ducked slightly, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

"Scared the shit out of you? Jesus, don't tell me you took a dump in the lake." He joked, yet again just to annoy her. He had grown quite the strange habit of wanting to tease her. He could already imagine the vivid expressions she would make in response, no filter to her disgust and it pleased him. As strange as it was, it pleased him that she was so transparent with him. It made him feel like he too could he transparent with her.

Even now, her emotions were crystal clear as she rolled her eyes at his words.

"Geez, Aaron, vulgar much?" She said, grimacing, making him laugh. He wanted to take it further; to keep having her have a response to him. In the very least, it meant she felt something towards him.

So, he pursued that, ducking his head so his mouth was close to her ear. He could smell the potent scent of vanilla from her, but he dismissed the intoxicating scent so he could focus on his words.

"What? Too vulgar for your innocent virgin ears?" He teased before folding his arms. He had thought she'd roll her eyes again but, instead, she scoffed, a smirk making its way to her face. She didn't make such an expression often, but he found that he would often feel excited when she did.

"You know, you need to stop saying it like it's a bad thing. It literally has its own meaning for each person." She absconded him without hesitation and he processed her words. Of course, he had meant it as a joke first, but her words made him think. His first time was not a very good memory for him; it had been when his mother had still been drinking so much so that he would have to forcefully wrench the bottle out of her hand until she was a crying mess. He could recall, in particular, how that day was when he had enough of it, wanting a distraction.

So, he had sex, on the encouragement of some older friends he had made. He had thought it would distract him and- thankfully- it did. It stopped him thinking about the sordid situation at home, his plummeting grades at school as well as how he had been ignoring Justin's and Danny's calls. It made him forget the misery.

But the momentary bliss would end soon.

And, he found that it was only after the act that he would still remember everything; still be drowned in his memory. So, did Lexi's words have any element of truth? If so, then what did his first time mean to him? Did it even mean anything at all?

He soon realised that he had gone silent so he recomposed himself, forcing a smile on.

"If you say so." He replied, watching as she only huffed before narrowing her eyes.

"If you say so? Is that what you choose to say when the other person is right?" She mocked and he laughed, finding that- oddly enough- Lexi's scathing taunts provided as good as a distraction as any. It made him smile as he spoke.

"You wouldn't know about that because you're never right." He retorted just as quick and Lexi opened her mouth to speak, but he interrupted her before she could, a glimmer in his eyes.

"You may not be right, but I'll go with your words, any day of the week." He muttered, an earnest look in his eyes because he had truly meant it. Every word she spoke was devoid of the need to impress and he knew he would listen to it all: her opinions and her thoughts, they mattered because they didn't just exist to please him.

"And as Aaron said that, his heart grew three times in size." She joked, covering her mouth in mock shock and he briefly wondered if she thought of him as heartless. Instead of questioning her, he glared playfully at her.

"Ha Ha. Laugh it up, Dawson." He said, dismissing her with a wave of his hand and she laughed, the musical sound lighting up the area.

"I'm kidding. What you said was really sweet." She drawling, teasing him yet again, but he wasn't one to give in.

"Noble enough for a reward?" Aaron replied suggestively, waggling his eyebrows. He cursed the small part of him that hoped she'd say yes. She raised an eyebrow at his words, shaking her head.

"On second thought, what you said didn't really hit home and is, therefore, unworthy of a reward." She edged out, shutting him down and he couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed.

But he gave in to the playful side, placing a hand on her shoulder and the other over his heart.

"That really hurt, Lexi." He said, feigning hurt.

"Good." Was all she said and the area fell silent as he looked at her; looked to the moonlight hitting her pale skin, making it glow.

He followed her gaze from where she looked into his eyes before she looked to his hand on her shoulder and he tensed, not having realised he had kept his hand there. Yet, try as he might to move it, he couldn't. Perhaps, it was the way she was looking to his hand with such heart-clenching curiosity or perhaps it was the way tingles danced at where his hands were placed. He didn't know but didn't care to either.

No, instead he squeezed her shoulder with his hand, wanting to feel it under his palm and he watched as her eyes snapped up at this, finding his eyes so easily. Their eyes blended together in a way that felt like it was supposed to happen and suddenly he couldn't look away.

So, he didn't.

Instead, he followed the urge that told him to move his hand and his jaw clenched as she stiffened whilst his hand tentatively stroked down towards her upper arm. He grabbed gently then, not wanting to let go, drawing slow circles with his thumb. Her skin was so soft that every touch felt like brushing through clouds.

She didn't say in protest nor in fondness. She just looked at him with an expressionless gaze that he didn't pay heed to.

He paid more heed to her arm, tracing his fingers down her elbow. It was so small compared to his and he looked into her eyes as he skimmed an index finger down her lower arm.

It was only when his hand went into the water that she broke out of the daze and looked to him in alarm yet he paid no heed to this and his hand found her small one, latching our fingers together in an intimate embrace. It made his insides melt when she smiled as he pulled their conjoined hands out of the water, holding it up.

He looked to her hands curiously then, laying their palms flat against each other. Could it be possible for someone's hand to be this small? It made her seem like someone in need of protection and he felt the urge to hold her feeble body in his hold to chase the cold away.

He had felt this emotion only once before and he smiled bitterly at the memory. He knew Lexi wasn't her, but the vast contrast between them is what made him think of her. If Avalon had been the dizzying scent of flowers that kept him in his deluded daze then Lexi was the warm blow of spring air that brought him back to reality.

Avalon had been nothing but a farce of which he had painted a pretty picture of. He felt the sadness cloud him at his line of thought, but he knew it was true. She was fake and he needed to accept it, even when the sadness was consuming him.

With all that had been happening at home, he had thought that Avalon would be a light in his life that would pull him out of the dark depths. But, this wasn't to be the case and he quickly realised that Avalon was nothing like the image he had painted in his head. Of course, he resisted admitting that because then it meant that nothing in his life had been real.

Lexi is real.

At the thought, he snapped his gaze back up to meet her doe eyes, tracing every inch of my face with sure eyes. If nothing else was certain, he was sure that Lexi's words would keep him grounded. She wouldn't lie even if it hurt him.

He watched as she traced his face too, her eyes lingering on his lips and this made him tense, the urge to feel her lips growing more potent than ever before. With their palms still connected, he moved closer towards her, his lips growing inches closer and closer to hers.

Aaron's lips were like a whisper above hers then and he stilled, knowing that if Lexi did not want it, he wouldn't continue with his own selfish desires. Much to his relief, she didn't object so he proceeded to move in.

He knew that it may make things awkward between them later and he knew that it might compromise her helping him impress his mother, but he couldn't find himself stopping now; not when his need was greater than logic.

The need to finally be free of the past torments.

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