• • •

It's been three days since I read the journal, and I still couldn't stop thinking about it. I probably read it four times over that night, trying to process every word, every letter, every syllable.

There weren't that many entries, but they sure as hell were effective at making me feel something.

He was still in love with me when he moved here, and that was over four months ago. But does he still love me now? A lot can change in four months, and I did not want to bring my hopes up to be disappointed. Yeah, we had sex and made out a few times, but love doesn't have to be there to be attracted to someone.

I was even more eager to get back home just so I could see him, so I could tell him I love him with my entire being.

My flight was tomorrow morning, and I still had the entire day of today ahead of me. Harry and I texted a few times in the few days since I read the journal, but I never told him that I read it. Again, I wanted it to be something I tell him face to face.

I was sitting on the couch in the living room eating a bowl of oatmeal between Nonna and Anna with the baby, the four of us being the only ones awake and watching Friends.

Nonna reached over at the table and grabbed my phone when it started ringing, and she showed me the screen.

"Answer it." I tell her, urging her to keep the camera on her face so Nick could see her first.

She tapped the green icon, answering the call and waiting for the FaceTime to connect.

"Buon giorno!" She exclaimed the moment Nick's face appeared on the screen. His eyes lit up and he grinned.

"Aurora!"

"Hello, darling. How are you?"

"I am well, thank you. And how are you, you beautiful woman? You look absolutely stunning." Nick flirted, and I rolled my eyes.

"Quit flirting with my grandma." I say loud enough for him to hear.

"Fuck off." Both Nonna and Nick tell me at the same time, making me lean back in surprise.

"Well then." I mumbled, going back to eating my cold oatmeal.

"I am doing very well, Nick. Congratulations at the Olympics! You guys earned gold, a million percent." She nodded, slapping my phone in means to high five him through the screen.

"Thank you, Angel." Nick winked, and I nearly gagged on my spoon as I stood up to go wash my bowl. "I never get tired of hearing your accent."

"Stop it. I'm blushing." She chuckled. "Who is behind you?" She pointed out as I approached the back of the couch and I look at the screen to see there was, in fact, someone behind him.

"Riley. We are all at her place right now having dinner consisting of Chinese food." He answered.

"Without me?" I gasped, wrapping my arms around Nonna's shoulders from behind and poking my head into the camera view.

"Bitch, you are halfway across the world." Nick scoffed, and I flipped him off.

"I'll be back tomorrow with Brandon and Anna. Are you picking us up?" I asked, walking back around and sitting back in my spot.

"Yes ma'am. What time?"

"I think we get in around two or three in the afternoon Toronto time." I informed him, not able to check my itinerary since it was on my phone.

"You got it." He gave me a thumbs up before whining when the phone was stolen from him by Riley.

"Hello, Aurora!"

"Hi, beautiful. How are you?" She greeted Riley in return.

"I'm doing well. And you?"

"I'm fabulous, darling. Thank you."

"Give me my phone back, you hoe. Aurora and I were having a lovely conversation." Nick grunted, the camera shaking. I'm assuming he's fighting her for the phone.

"Go shove a dick in your mouth. It's my turn to talk to her." Riley huffed. Suddenly, the phone fell on the floor and I was staring at a ceiling.

"Well there goes that." I snorted.

"I miss them two. I'll have to visit Canada soon." She smiled, handing me my phone.

"I'm sure they'd love that. As long as they don't slit each other's throats trying to get to you." I replied, taking my phone and seeing that the phone was lifted off of the ground.

My smile immediately brightened when I saw Harry was looking at the screen in confusion, brushing it off before grinning.

"Hey, beautiful."

"Hi." I greeted shyly, my face flushing.

"Who's this man calling you beautiful?" Nonna asked in amusement, stealing the phone from my hand. My eyes widened and I tried to take it back, but she held her arm out to stop me.

Harry also looked a little surprised, but he couldn't see me anymore, now looking at my grandma.

"That is...Harry." I trailed off slowly, waiting for her reaction.

"Harry?" She turned to me in surprise. "The Harry that put baby in you?"

I choked on my spit, looking at her dumbfounded. "Oh my god. Dillo più forte, perché non lo fai?" (Say it louder, why don't you?)

"Oh, hush. That man can sleep through fucking hurricane." She shrugged off, referring to my father. "Would you rather I ask if it is the one you sex with before you come here?"

Yes, I did catch Nonna up on what has been happening in my life, including what's been going on with Harry and I. She's literally my best friend so how could I not?

"Where is your filter?" I asked her, feeling a little embarrassed. "But yes, that is him. Jesus." I muttered, watching as Harry's smile remained.

"He's very sexy, I give this to you." She nodded in approval. "He could put baby in me too."

"Nonna!" I exclaimed, trying not to laugh as Harry's expression formed one of astonishment.

"I don't object to that." Harry says through the phone.

Nonna points at the camera and looks at me. "See? He is willing to do it."

"Oh my god." I breathed. "I'm done telling you shit now."

"I'm joking, amore mio. He's all yours." She kissed my cheek and gave the phone back to me.

Instead of staying in the living room, I stood up to go to the front porch, glaring at Anna, who was trying not to laugh.

"Oh shut up."

That sent her over the edge, finally allowing her laughter to break free as I walked to the front door.

"I am so sorry." I apologized to Harry, putting a hand over my face once I was on the porch and sitting down on the porch swing.

His laugh filled my ears and I peaked at the camera to see him.

"It's not funny!"

"You're right. I'm sorry." He said, continuing to snicker to himself as his cute dimples made an appearance.

"No you're not." I scoffed, sitting back and resting my chin on the knee I brought to my chest.

"No, I'm not." He admitted, no longer laughing at me, but he still had an incredibly contagious smile on his lips. "She seems fun."

"She is when she's not embarrassing the life out of me."

"You're cute." He grinned, biting on his lower lip. It was then did I realize that he was no longer around anyone.

"You don't get to compliment me. Not after you agreed to put a baby in my grandma." I glared, shaking my head in feigned disbelief.

"Mm. Jealous?" He smirked.

"Of Nonna? Always."

"Don't worry. Her offspring's offspring is who I want." He winked, resting his elbow on something and allowing his chin to rest on his hand.

Instead of turning into a damn tomato, I decided to joke around with him.

"Sorry to break it to you, but Brandon just had a child and you are not the father."

"Damn. I guess I'll go for the second best thing." He sighs dramatically. "What are you doing Friday night?"

I rolled my eyes playfully and choked on laughter. "Idiot."

"Only for you, baby."

Before I stop myself, my response to him sounded cocky. "Seems as though you made it a habit to call me baby."

"Is that a problem?" In no way was his question one of worry, and I found myself grinning stupidly.

"Not at all."

He sighed and went silent for a moment, just staring at me through the screen before saying "You're making it very fucking hard for me to not jump on a flight to you right now."

His statement left me silent, chewing on the inside of my lip anxiously.

Before I can speak, a look of panic crossed his face and he shrieked when the phone fell from his hand.

"How dare you run away with my phone, Styles? Trying to steal Nonna from me." Nick's voice was heard through the speaker and I shook my head.

"You're a dumbass." I hear Harry grunt.

"I'm hanging up now." I say loudly so they could hear me before I hit the "end call" button.

Smiling to myself at my conversation with Harry, I stood up from the swing and went back inside, finding Anna still in the same spot, but Nonna was walking around the living room with Aurora in her arms.

"I like him." Nonna says right away.

"Yeah, me too." I grinned, feeling a weight off of my shoulders hearing those words from her. Her approval meant everything to me.

"No, darling. You love him." She corrected me.

"I am well aware, Nonna. Thank you." I sarcastically replied, sitting back down.

"You tell him this yet?" She asked me, standing in front of Anna and I.

"When I get back, I am." I confirmed, not allowing myself to stall any longer.

The rest of the day was spent inside since it was raining a little, although when night rolled around and I had finished packing everything, I went back out on the porch and watched the rain fall around me, allowing the calming scent to fill my nose.

Nothing calms me like the rain.

After sitting out here for half an hour, the front door opened and my brother came walking out, cradling Aurora.

"Mind if we join you?" He spoke gently, and I shook my head, scooting over on the swing so he could sit.

"She won't sleep?" I asked, keeping my voice at a low level.

"Nope. Can't give her another bottle either so I'm hoping the sound of rain will put her to sleep." He tell me, sitting down carefully so the swing doesn't start moving too much. "I also wanted to talk to you about something."

"I'm listening."

He remained quiet, looking like he was thinking of what he wanted to say.

"How would you feel if I moved in with Anna?"

Okay, was not expecting that.

"Sad, but if it's something you want to do, I won't stop you." I answered honestly, leaning my head back but turning it to look up at him. "I didn't expect us to live together forever."

"I know, but the whole reason you moved in was so I could look after you. I'm just scared that something will happen to you and I won't be there. You're still my baby sister." He stares down at his daughter and fixed her pacifier before turning to me again.

"I'll be fine, B. I promise. If anything, I can always call you." I reassure him. "Besides, I have all my friends literally two floors down from the apartment."

"That's very true." He chuckled sadly.

"You have your own family now. It was bound to happen sometime soon." I shrugged, feeling myself become a little emotional.

"I know." He whispered in disbelief, smiling down at his baby girl. "I have a daughter."

"I have a niece." I grinned, and he nodded before looking at me again.

"You could come over anytime you want." He sniffled, his eyes pooling with tears only setting me off more.

"Same to you."

He faced the rain and took a deep breath while I rested my head on his shoulder.

"I'm very proud of you, Maddie."

Fuck.

"I'm proud of you too, B. I love you."

"God dammit." He cursed, using his free hand to wipe beneath his eyes while I chuckled. "I love you too."

"Quit crying, you big baby. Anna lives literally just down the street from our place." I lifted my head and slapped his shoulder, trying to lighten the mood a little even though I was on the brink of crying.

"I can always count on you to ruin a serious conversation." He laughed.

I wrapped my arms around the one knee at my chest, the other foot on the ground, gently pushing the swing back and forth.

"Shut up. You're gonna miss me." I teased.

"Says you. You are gonna be the one crying like a baby when that day comes." He nudges my side, and I fall quiet after that.

"I'm really happy for you and Anna." I whispered to him, I was surprised he even heard me.

He sensed something was off with his annoying sibling powers, going into brother mode.

"Are you okay?"

"No." I chuckled sadly to myself, thinking back to Harry. "I still love Harry and I don't know how to tell him."

I heard him sigh through his nose before putting and arm around my shoulder.

"I'm sure he already knows, Maddie." He says quietly, rubbing my arm. "If not, then just come right out and say it. I can guarantee he loves you too."

"You're so helpful." I rolled my eyes, and his body vibrates beside me, giving me a light push.

"I know, right?"

I tilt my head up to look at his face with a glare before the both of us start laughing. Him louder than me, so I had to shush him and point to Aurora, who has fallen asleep.

"I should probably take her back in." He mumbled, letting out a groan as he stood up after I put my foot down to stop the swinging.

"Goodnight. Love you." I whispered. He smiled and kissed the side of my head.

"Love you too. Goodnight."

I watched as he walked back inside, carefully closing the front door behind him while I continued to look up at the sky, spotting some stars behind all of the clouds releasing rain.

Although he may have been joking, Brandon was right. I should just come right out and tell Harry that I love him. It's not that hard.

So that's what I will do.

• • •