Caution: Hot Guys ahead. Be prepared to swoon... Or to facepalm yourself so hard from their stupidity.

The following scenes are from my exclusive interview with the troublemakers of Diamond Crest high school. Took me long enough to retrieve it since some annoying prankster hacked into my laptop and deleted it.

Parental Guidance is advised.

***

: Ahem. Mic test.. Mic test... All right! I think it's working now. Are you ready guys?

: The question is, are you ready? *winks at me*

: Yes, I am! But before anything else, please introduce yourselves.

: Baby, I do not need an introduction. My mere presence here is already a grand introduction itself.

: *looks at me apologetically* I apologise in behalf of that dimwit. That guy's name is Parker Fray, he's eighteen and he's a bloody douche. He was dropped frequently on the head when he was still a baby so please do excuse his behaviour. By the way, I'm Rush Ezekiel St. Clair, half-brit, and not that much of an ass.

: *leans in to whisper to me* And if I may just add, Parker also ingested a significant amount of lead when he tried to chew on his crib when he was a baby. But don't worry, he's harmless now. Most of the times... I think.

*goes back to his seat while giving Parker an angelic smile*

: I'm sorry, but who are you?

: I'm Hunter Dean Cole, call me Hunter. I have a sweet tooth and I may or may not have hacked your Facebook account ten minutes ago.

: *surprised and slightly terrified* I sure hope not!

: Nice profile picture. What's Pranks and Kisses, by the way?

: Trust me, you don't want to know. And who is that guy sleeping beside you? *points at the hunched stranger beside Hunter*

: Him? Oh, he's Cal. *taps Cal on the shoulder*

Dude, wake up! We have an interview going on here.

: *opens his eyes and shots Hunter an annoyed look* What, are we some kind of a celebrity now? This is stupid. Next thing I know, TMZ's already up on our ass for a photoscoop.

: Oh, you! You're such a cutie! Now stop acting like a jerk and introduce yourself to the lovely lady here.

: *gives me a steely look* Callan Greyson, 18, Senior. Favorite Sports: Sleeping, Favorite Fairytale: Sleeping Beauty, My definition of love is I love sleeping. I just love sleeping so much sometimes I even dream about it.

*goes back to sleeping*

Wow! That is really interesting! You're so passionate, I like that! And since we're talking about passion here, my first question is, what are your hobbies and interests?

: Well, my favorite hobby is making girls swoon, and I'm interested in how to get one hundred girls to sleep with me before I graduated high school. Do you want to be the 90th girl? I'm still ten girls short from my goal.

: I'll think about it. How about you, Rush?

: My hobby is stopping these two idiots *points at Parker and Hunter* from doing things that might land them to jail. I'm honestly the only sane guy here. Anyway, I also love playing guitar and jamming with my band whenever I'm not busy babysitting this group of morons.

: My favorite hobby is pissing people off. I'm very interested in studying all the school rules.... and breaking them one by one.

: My favorite hobby is....

and We already know, Cal.

: I was going to say mixed martial arts, but whatever!

: That was very informative of you guys, thank you for taking this interview seriously. By the way, you guys are best friends, right?

and : Yes.

and : No.

: Uhm, that's sweet. Anyway, if you can describe each other in one word, what word would it be?

: That's easy. Grumpy for Rush, Asshole for Hunter, and Cutipie for Cal.

: Idiot for Parker, Asshole for Hunter and Cool for Cal.

: Clingy for Parker, Asshole for Hunter and Tolerable for Rush.

: *looks at Hunter* well, you got three strikes there for being an asshole. What can you say about that?

: I'm touched. They know me so well.

: And how would you describe your three friends here?

: Mildy-funny for Parker, Extremely-violent for Rush, and words can't describe how amazing I think Cal is.

: Hey! That's not fair! Descriptions should only be in one word!

: I make my own rules.

: That's okay. We all love a little rebel, right? Moving on, can you tell us at least one weird fact about yourselves?

: When I'm in the shower and a sad song comes on, I pretend I'm in a movie and I'm breaking up with someone in the rain.

: When I'm drunk, I call any of my three buddies here to give them a lecture about the rise and fall of the British Empire.

: I really wanted to have a pet turtle but when I found out that they live an average of 32 years, I changed my mind. I'm not ready for that kind of commitment.

: When getting bananas, I can't tear them apart. It's like they're family. If I see a banana alone, I put it next to a new bunch.

: Aww, you four are so cute and weird! No wonder you have a lot of fangirls, can you do us all a favor and describe your ideal girl to us?

: I do not have an idea girl. All girls are beautiful to me and they all should be treated delicately and with tender love... Except for a certain sadistic, psychopath who's favorite hobby is to see me writhing in pain and agony. *shudders in the corner*

: He's talking about Roe.

: Don't mention her name! It's bad luck to me.

: Roe's a girl, not a black cat.

: Whatever.

: How about you, Rush? Care to tell?

: My ideal girl is smart, kind, beautiful and red-haired.

: Heather for short.

: Shut up.

: And how about you, Cal?

: My ideal girl is fair, cool, and silent.

: A corpse for short.

: *burst out laughing*

: *turns attention to Hunter* your turn.

: *suddenly blushes* eh, can I pass?

, and No way!

: Fine. Well, my ideal girl is someone who's brave and funny. She's intelligent and kind. She's a little weird at times but so so beautiful, even if she can't see it herself.

: _____ for short!

: Hey! Shut your mouth, Fray! *looks at me with puppy dog eyes* Can you put that off the record, please?

: *uterus exploding* Of course, of course! Anything for you, dear!

: *gives me his signature mischievous smile* Thanks, babe.

: *blushing* Uhm, finally, do you have a message to my readers who patiently waited for more than three months for a new update?

: What update?

: Never mind that. Just proceed with your message.

: Uh, okay. To all the readers, thank you for reading whatever this is. If you are looking for a hook up, just call me. Remember, I still need 10 girls to reach my goals. You can help me by dialing: 434-PARKROCKS. I'll be waiting for your call.

: Roe is going to kill you, Parker. You are so dead.

: Psh! I'm not afraid of her!

: *looks at the door* Oh, hi there, Roe!

: Time to go! Bye! *runs towards the nearest window and jumps*

: Holy shit! Did he just jump out of the window? We are on the second fucking floor!

: Oh, he'll be okay. We've practiced that a couple of times.

: Mental. You two are mental.

: What's new?

*turns to look at me*

My message to your readers is to follow their dreams... Go back to sleep.

*leaves the room to find a comfortable place to sleep*

: To the readers, thank you for the support. *taps me on the shoulder* If you have any problem with someone, just tell me and I will fucking beat the hell out of that motherfucker. You're a friend now and no one messes up with my friends.

: Err, thank you?

: Rush has anger management issues. That's why I protected Heather from him since eight grade.

: Don't believe him. He's lying. I was the one who asked him to be with her in exchange for looking out for...

: Buddy, that's enough. You're giving away our secrets here.

*smiles at me seductively*

You're not going to publish this, are you?

: Oh, I will. Especially now that I've got some juicy stuff here that I'm sure my readers would like to find out. You have a message for them?

: *Sighs* Guess I just need to find a way to prevent that, eh?

To the readers, you are awesome, not as much as I am but still... Anyway, I need to go now. I miss my buddy. See you, around! Let's go, Rush.

*Rush and Hunter left the room*

-END-

Holy shit! Hunter left a virus in this link! Don't click! Don't click!

Well... It's too late now.

Sorry.

VOTE. COMMENT. FOLLOW... if you want. No pressure. 😉