"So, she's healing fine?" I asked the doctor for the thousandth time.

Once again, Eileen rolled her eyes and smiled. The smile that she always gives, but never reached her eyes.

"I feel better, Moretti. The wound is healing nicely, you heard the doctor. We just have to watch out for the dizziness." The doctor merely nodded and left the room, leaving me to help Eileen off of the examining bed.

"Are you sure you're okay, baby?" I asked her, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Yes, don't worry."

We had walked all the way to the hospital to get her check up, the days lately unusually bright and sunny. We enjoyed them together. Her dad was still recuperating, but was regaining some feeling in his leg. Luke, well, he was dealing as best he could. It wasn't easy for him, especially since he always bottled everything in, literally. A bottle of whiskey had been his best companion for the past weeks.

"I need to talk to you, Alex," Eileen said quietly.

We stopped walking, and I cupped her face, leaning down and kissing her.

"What is it, baby?"

She hesitated for a moment, and then shook off the thought.

"Let's get home first," she said. "We can talk later."

I dreaded what she wanted to say. The look in her eyes told me that it was something I would possibly despise, but nevertheless, we stepped into the house.

A month had passed by since Angie's death, and we were slowly coping, I liked to believe. Somehow, though, I felt that she wasn't dealing with anything. She didn't cry again after the funeral- not that I wanted her to. I just wanted her to heal.

I wasn't doing much better, but having her with me eased the pain. A part of Angie was still around wherever Eileen was present. It was their smile, I had noticed, they had the same smile.

We walked into the house- the same emptiness surrounded it. The house felt... cold. It wasn't the same, and I knew it would never be.

Eileen took my hand in hers, turning back and smiling at me as she guided me upstairs. Once in our room, she closed the door and stood in front of it for a moment, staring at me with those brown eyes that were keeping me alive.

"What is it?" I asked her.

She walked up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing me like her life depended on it. She was the one to seek out my tongue, and I let myself feel her; the desire that she was pouring into each movement, the soft moans that I swallowed with my lips.

"Make love to me, Alex," she murmured, unbuttoning my shirt.

We hadn't had sex since the morning of the accident. But the way she looked at me now, so full of hunger, so full of need told me that she needed me more than I could imagine.

"You said we needed to talk, Eileen," I said watching how her shaking hands struggled with my belt.

"Wait," I said, stopping her despite the bulge I knew was now obvious. "Eileen, babe, what's going on?"

"I want you to make love to me, Alex. I want to feel you, I need to feel you. Please."

I didn't stand a fucking chance against her pleading eyes. I kissed her, my hand holding her by the nape of her neck, avoiding her head. I dreaded hurting her. I felt her anger, I felt her sorrow all there. She needed me and I desperately needed her. I let her finish unbuckling my belt, then the button on my pants. I lowered my hands, lifting the dress she wore. Her hands stopped me though, and she pulled away from my lips.

I was confused, until I saw her kneel in front of me.

What the fuck?

"Eileen, babe, what are you doing?" I asked her, watching her as she pulled the pants I wore down, letting them fall to the ground. My erection was in front of her, and I knew, I just knew that I was fucked when her eyes met mine.

"I want to please you, Alex."

"You don't have to do this, Eileen. Babe-"

I haven't had a blow job in months and the minute her tongue touched me, I groaned. Her eyes searched mine for approval, and I gave it to her, gently stroking her cheek. Her eyes closed as she took me in completely, her warm mouth enveloping not just my cock, but my fucking soul.

That's when I knew that I had her trust completely. This had been her fear, this had been her limit, and I had accomplished breaking down that barrier. She was giving every part of herself to me, without hesitation. She was mine.

But something wasn't right. I knew it. The minute she opened her eyes I saw the pain, I saw the goodbye.

I kept my eyes on hers, watching everyone of her movements, feeling her moans that vibrated throughout my body.

"You're mine," I said hoarsely. "You're fucking mine."

Eileen moaned in response, her eyes closing as I began moving my hips against her. I was so fucking close... I took her hair in my hand, pulling her away from me, her lips swollen from sucking me off, her eyes glazed over with lust. I helped her up, lifting her and wrapping her legs around my waist as I pushed her against the wall.

"I'm yours," she whispered, as I pressed my lips against hers. She whimpered with the force while my hand traveled between her legs, feeling how wet she was.

"You liked it," I said against her lips. "Didn't you?"

"Yes," she replied breathlessly.

I pulled her thong, ripping it, and aligned my cock with her entrance. I took in her scent knowing she was ready for me and pushed into her roughly, like I knew we both needed. She cried out, her fingers tangling in my hair and I thrust into her once again, feeling how she clenched around me.

I was making love to her. I was fucking her. I was healing her. She was healing me.

We were saying goodbye.

"Open your eyes," I demanded. "Fucking look at me, Eileen. If this is the last time, I want you to fucking look at me."

I saw tears well up in her beautiful eyes, but she nodded biting her lip as I continued.

"I love you, Alex," she said, panting as I felt her reaching her climax.

"I love you too, baby." I took her lips in mine, kissing her. "I fucking love you, so much," I said my forehead against hers as I watched her come undone.

"Alex.. Oh God!"

"That's it babe... One more..."

Her lips parted when my fingers reached between us, stroking her already sensitive clit. She was fucking beautiful, giving every part of herself to me. I knew I was fucked in every sense of the word.

If she left, I'd find someone else eventually. But she'd set the bar so damn high, that unless that person had a ladder that could reach the sky, they'd never compare to her. Her head fell back against the wall, her hands now firm on my shirt.

I pulled down a strap of her dress, exposing her breast and her eager nipple which I pinched. Without pulling out of her, I laid her down on the bed, placing her calves over my shoulders. I grunted, now chasing my own release along with hers.

It didn't take much longer, and then we became one. Our orgasms erasing all pain, reminding us just how united we were.

"When are you leaving?" Alex held me close to him on the bed, his fingers tracing patterns on my bare back.

We were laying in bed, after making love yet again. It was our way of being together, of easing our pain. We both knew that I was dealing with it though. In order for us to work, I would need to heal first, which wasn't something that I could do here. I loved him, there was no doubt about that, but I needed help. I needed to ease the pain I felt, I needed to heal from my past traumas. From everything. And I needed to do it alone.

"Tomorrow," I whispered, giggling when he nipped at my ear. "Stop it.."

"Mmm, no. If you're leaving you have to deal with me tonight."

I opened my eyes, meeting his hazel ones. The eyes that had been so bright when I met him were now coated with sadness. I had brought that to him.

"I'll be back, Alex. But in the meanwhile, I want you to meet someone. I want you to be happy. I don't know when I'll come back, but when I do, I want to see you happy, even if it's not with me."

He shook his head, placing a kiss on my forehead.

"You're making the choice to leave, baby. Not me. I don't want you to leave. I respect your choice because you feel that this is what you need to heal, but if it were up to me, you'd stay here with me, where you belong."

"You can decide that when you come back. If you haven't met-"

"Shh. Just be quiet, Eileen. For tonight, let's not talk. Let's just feel."

The night wasn't long enough. It went by way too fast, and neither of us slept. We made love all night, never being able to pull away from each other.

I had expected him to be angry, but even with everything happening, breakfast went well. Luke already knew about my plans, as did my dad, and I was blessed enough to have everyone's support. Despite wanting to go with me, my dad had to stay for his physical therapy. Luke was about to leave everything behind for me, but two depressed people wouldn't help each other.

"So this is it?" Luke asked, running his hand through his dark hair. I nodded as he pulled me to his chest. He began chuckling, and I turned to face him.

"What's so funny?" I asked him, amused by his humor.

"I guess I don't get any more free porn, huh?"

"Lucas!" I said, and he once again pressed me hard against his body.

"I'm going to miss you," he said quietly. "Please stay in touch."

He kissed the top of my head and sighed.

"You're a good man, Lucas. I love you."

"Me too, Leenie."

I smiled at his newfound nickname for me.

I had said goodbye to Marty a week before, when I explained to him why I couldn't go back to work with him. The cafe held too many memories, and I felt my heart shatter every time I even stepped foot in it.

I saw the cab pull up, my cue to leave. I didn't know exactly where I was going, I just knew that I needed this. I needed to start over. I need to clear my mind. A smiling Alexander Moretti leaned over on his car, the one he had insisted on driving me with, but I didn't want to. Not when I knew that I wouldn't want to leave if he was with me.

"I have to leave," I said quietly.

"I know."

"I will miss you."

"Me too."

"I'll be back."

"I'll wait."

I smiled at him, as he leaned down, kissing me as if he was never going to see me again. I savored him, committing his taste, his smell, his touch to memory. He pulled away much too quickly, and I pushed back the tears that threatened to fall. His adoring eyes sparkled with so much emotion that it took my breath away.

"Go, baby. Do what you need to do."

"I love you, Moretti."

"Ti amo, mia bella"

******

THE END.