I thought I was ready, ready for someone else

But every time I get ahead of myself

For nearly three months I hadn't heard from Eileen. And then I ran into Julia. It was supposed to be a one night thing. We'd had a couple drinks, and it felt good to not dwell on the past for a while.

But seeing Eileen was the last thing I expected. She looked different. The months that she'd been away changed her for the better and it was evident. There was confidence and security in her voice. Not the arrogant type, just a woman that was sure of herself.

And if that's not the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen.

Her smile faltered when she saw Julia, but she greeted her happily. It was almost as if seeing me with another woman eased some worry of hers.

I had been engaged to Julia in my younger years and though I cared for her, I never had much interest in anything serious with her. Now, she was different. She'd matured, she was no longer the spoiled brat I used to know.

We were sitting in the living room with Julia trying to make conversation with Eileen, who despite the awkward situation, seemed comfortable.

"Where did you meet her, Alex? You've never told me about her," Julia asked.

Julia leaned into me, pressing her body against my chest. Eileen looked down and exhaled before raising her face to see us. Her mask was on.

"Marty's," I said, thinking back to our first interaction. Eileen smiled, a spark in those eyes. "I met her at Marty's."

"Oh, are you still in touch with Marty? That old man never liked me."

Eileen frowned.

"Well, what did you do?" The question rolled off her tongue without hesitation and Julia was taken aback, though she hid it well.

"I don't know, actually. He just never cared much for me, I suppose."

Eileen nodded.

"So, I take it you two are friends?" Julia asked, trying to relieve some of the tension now present.

Sexual tension.

And it wasn't between her and I. It was Eileen. Always her.

"Yeah," Eileen said, her burning eyes not moving from mine. "Good friends."

I saw it there, in her fucking eyes. The want that she still held for me, just as I had for her.

"Excuse me," Eileen said as she stood. "I need to use the restroom."

"I'll show you to it," Julia offered.

"I know exactly where it is," Eileen smiled.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as I watched Eileen walk away. Still that walk. Still those fucking hips swaying the same-

"Are you okay? You seem flustered."

My eyes widened when I realized I had been staring at Eileen, in front of Julia.

"Yeah.. Just a bit surprised to see her. It's been a while."

"She's nice," Julia said as she stood up. "She's very straightforward. I like her."

"I like her too," I mumbled as she walked towards the kitchen.

I wasn't sure I was going to handle being so close to Eileen. I told myself that maybe it was just the surprise that was stressing me out but I knew it was much more than that. We lived through hell together, we stood on the flames and felt the burn and kept walking through it. Our connection was too strong to be ignored.

"Can I go upstairs?"

I turned to face Eileen, who was looking at the staircase. She wanted to see Angie's room. I'd been in that room every night for the past year. Her presence was still there. I hadn't changed a thing and no one was allowed in there apart from those who were close to her.

Julia didn't even know about the accident, or anything that happened for that matter.

"It's okay if you changed it, Alex. I just want to see it."

I nodded, realizing that she thought I'd gotten rid of everything. I guided her upstairs, walking next to her. She was so close... Our hands were basically touching.

I opened the door and saw Eileen's mouth open in awe. She walked in, analyzing everything, gently touching the little items that Angie had left behind, as if they might disappear if she was too rough with them.

"Everything's here," she said, her voice so soft.

She sat on the bed, taking the pillow in her hands and smelling it. Her eyes opened, glistening with unshed tears.

"Thank you," she murmured. "I wasn't sure what to expect but this means a lot."

I sighed and sat next to her on the small bed.

"This going to sound stupid, but sometimes I'll come in here and watch Frozen by myself," I told her and her lips tilted up to a smile.

"It's not stupid. It's adorable, actually."

Maybe it was a bad idea, but I took her hand in mine and she didn't hesitate. Our fingers intertwined, both our eyes fixed on our hands.

"It still hurts," she whispered.

"It always will."

I brought her hand up to my lips, kissing it, letting it linger there. Her skin was just as soft as I remembered it.

"Don't do that, Moretti," she whispered.

"What?"

Eileen didn't reply, only removing her hand from mine. It suddenly felt cold around us. She sighed, running her hand through her hair that was now shorter than before.

"Let's go back downstairs," she said forcing a smile.

To say that the rest of the evening was tense would be an understatement. Lucas looked thoroughly amused at my situation, even mentioning that this would be the best fucking scenario for a threesome.

Ass.

Loneliness can be a bitch. I never realized that until Eileen left. She'd been the one to keep me grounded. Not hearing from her was hell... But now she was here and I had to solve this quick.

I didn't get the chance to be alone with her until Julia got a phone call and stepped out.

"I didn't know you had been engaged," Eileen said quietly when Julia stepped outside.

"It was never anything serious," I replied. She didn't seem angry at all.

She did look fucking beautiful. I would have kissed her if Julia hadn't interrupted, and I wouldn't have regretted it.

"Are you happy?" 

I looked at her. She was tranquil, the pain and sadness were no longer there. She came back stronger than before and everything about the way that she now carried herself showed it. 

"She's... she's a good woman."

She nodded in understanding, but didn't say anything. She was considering the situation, looking around the house as if searching for an answer. There wasn't. I had made the conscious decision to sleep with Julia two months ago, and things didn't seem to stop. After a moment, Eileen extended her hand and smiled.

"Friends?" She asked the question while placing her hand over my own and she gasped softly, reminding me of all the times she did that when I first entered her. She felt the fire too.

"Friends," I agreed.

"Are you still taking care of your business?" Eileen later asked.

I scrunched up my nose and shook my head.

"You know I never really liked it. I'm actually interviewing for a couple of jobs as a professor. With my degree I can teach and going to law school at this point... I don't really want to do it. I'm too old."

Eileen smiled. A flirty smile. One I hadn't seen before.

"What?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Professor Moretti," she said. She leaned in close to me, her lips next to my ear, she was so close, too fucking close. "It sounds good."

She leaned back, a proud smile on her face when she looked at me.

She was a different woman, that was for fucking sure.

"You should stay," Julia said for the hundredth time. "I'm only leaving because I have to work tomorrow but it's already late. There's plenty of rooms here and I'm sure Alex won't mind."

Of course he won't.

"Stay," Lucas said. "Come on, Leenie. No one's going to bite you."

His last remark was directed towards Alex. The tension between us had been obvious, so much that at times it felt suffocating. I agreed, deciding it would be best to not bother my dad so late. They lived a good half an hour away and I didn't want to be any trouble. Alex left with Julia to drop her off at her house and God knows what else, while Luke and I laid on the floor of his bedroom.

"How have you been, Luke?" I asked him after a moment.

"Good, I think. I'm handling the business now, it's a pain in the fucking ass. Being responsible." He shuddered, as if it was the worse thing in the world. "But I don't mind. Keeps me busy and out of trouble... for the most part. And you, Leenie? Did you find what you were looking for?"

"I did," I said. "I found myself."

Luke turned to his side, facing me. 

"He hasn't been with her long, you know?"

"Oh, it doesn't matter. If he's happy, then I'm happy. I'm not angry, it makes me feel better to see that he's moved on in a way."

"He hasn't. None of us have." He chuckled quietly. "Jesus Christ, Eileen. I'm surprised that Julia didn't notice how you two were eye-fucking each other the whole time. It was fucking awkward."

"We weren't eye fucking," I felt the color rise to my cheeks, which only made him laugh more.

"No, just eye-fucking, mind-fucking, all kinds of fucking that don't include actually touching."

"Angie would be mad at you right now because you're cursing so much."

"She would be," he said, a sad smile on his face, "She'd tell me, 'Lucas, do not be a bad example. I am a princess and those words shouldn't be said front of me.'"

I closed my eyes. Seeing her face always made everything better, even if it was just in my mind. I felt Luke's heartache. He'd been the one to pull her dead body out of the car. He'd been the one to see the true extent of her injuries. 

I felt him wrap his arm around me, hugging me.

It was different with him than with Alex. Luke and I held a connection, and we cared for each other dearly. Many wouldn't understand our relationship, our friendship, but we did. 

"I'm really glad that you're okay, Eileen. We would have really lost our shit if we had lost you too."

"Thank you for everything you did, Luke." 

"I didn't do enough," he said, guilt present in each of his words.

I saw it then, when I looked into his blue eyes. He had a mask, but those eyes were transparent. The guilt was eating him alive. There was only a shadow of his true self there, and it was heartbreaking.

"I don't blame you, Luke. I hope one day you'll stop blaming yourself."

A/N Yay, a little bit of Alex, a little bit of Luke. 

What do you think about Julia? Is she as nice as she seems or is it a facade?

Don't forget to comment/vote.

-Luz<3

His hands were on my waist, he was impossibly close to me. My hips swayed to the rhythm, something I'd never had the liberty to do.

"I've never seen you dance," he murmured, his lips tickling my ear.

This was borderline inappropriate. He had a girlfriend.

"I never really have," I whispered back.

Our bodies touches, a slow grinding motion, hip to hip. I gasped, feeling his erection against me.

"Alex..."

He shushed me, placing a kiss behind my ear.

"It's just us right now, Eileen," he murmured, "Just feel."

My eyes closed, and I let the music guide us.