im up. its 10:13. im gonna wake up my brother then make us breakfast.

i go to chris' room trying to be as quiet as i can. i wake up emery and bring him to the kitchen.

emery: what are we making

me: just some cereal because i dont really feel like making anything

emery: what kind

me: cinnamon toast crunch

emery: i like that one!

me: i know you do

emery: im still kinda tired

me: you can go to sleep on the couch. ill get you a blanket

emery: thats okay y/n

me: are you sure

emery: yea

i pour out the cereal into a medium sized bowl for me and emery. hes on his ipad probably watching cocomelon or something while im on my phone. i scroll through instagram and see all the girls with perfect lives. oh to be them. im over here with a shitty life, an abusive dad that i finally left, no mom, a little brother that barely knows whats happening, a dead sister, and depression. life cant get any better than this

emery: are you okay

me: im so sorry

emery: for what

me: what i just did

emery: you know i can always forgive you! :)

me: gosh i love you

i give my brother a hug and start to cry. perfect timing to cry. matt woke up.

me: oh my gosh im sorry matt

matt: what? what happened? are you okay? y/n?

i go back into nicks room since its the closest and shut the door.

matt: emery what happened

emery: i dont know

i hear knocks at the door that wakes nick up.

nick slowly gets up since hes tired.

me: dont open it. i dont wanna talk to anyone

nick: who is it?

matt: its matt

nick: she doesn't wanna talk to anyone

he sighs and leaves.

when matt leaves his door nick asks me what happened

nick: what happened this time

me: id kill for a new life

nick: y/n, its okay. you have me. im always here for you

me: i know nick i just dont know why all this is happening to . i feel like killing myself because of this crappy life. whats the point if im not gonna be happy?

nick: so many people love you y/n. you know that. im pretty sure ive told you before. i love you so much. please dont think like that

me: im trying so hard to not end this all in the middle of the night. all my worries would be washed away. i cant with all of this anymore

nick: y/n please dont say those things. youre gonna make me cry and i just woke up

me: you all are probably so sick of me ranting to you guys

nick: no we arent. were glad that you feel comfortable enough to talk to us about these things

me: yeah whatever

matts pov

y/n and nick dont know that im still at the door. ive been listening to everything. im at tears. i told emery to go to my room so if y/n talked about anything like that he didnt have to hear it. i might not ever see y/n for another day. i love her so much. i dont know what i would do if she left us all. loml tbh. im gonna go back to my room just in case nick and y/n come out

me: hey emery

emery: what happened to you?

me: oh yeah uh something got in my eye

emery: oh...ok! that must be what happened to y/n! she wasnt crying!

me: oh yea, yea definitely

y/n's pov

im gonna go to my other friend's house. her name is elle. i love her so much. i tell her everything. she knows about every little detail that has happened while im staying at the triplets' house.

me: im gonna go to elle's house

nick: oh ill see you later. stay safe y/n

me: see you nick

i get to her house and i knock at the door. i hear footsteps coming from inside then the door unlocks.

elle: y/n! hi!

me: hi

i give her a hug and she returns it.

me: i miss coming here like every weekend

elle: i miss you coming over...so uh what happened to your da-

me: im not going there anymore

elle: right, you told me. oh uh come in. are you hungry? my mom made me breakfast and there are still some leftovers

me: no thanks i already ate

elle: lets go to my room

i follow her to her room and bump into her sister. she reminded me of my sister. i tried to get away from her as fast as possible and thank goodness it worked.

me: your room has changed a whole lot since last year. i havent been here in so long because of my 'dad'

elle: remember that one sleepover where you threw up all over me because you ate too much

we laugh

me: dont bring that up ever again

we talk for hours before matt texts me

matt: where are you

me: at elles house

elles name sounds a lot like my sisters name so its kinda hard to talk to her

matt: its been hours

me: sorry

me: im coming

___________________

me: sorry elle matt wants me to go back

elle: when are you two gonna get together

me: im still waiting

elle: ok well tell me what happens. see you y/n. drive safe

me: thanks elle, bye

i give her a hug and leave her house then get in the car. i sigh then start to drive back.

———

sorry for the short-ish chapter and i know i havent updated in like two months

lmk what you think of this story so far because i dont even know what to get out for you 😭

istg this chapter makes me wanna throw up its disgustingly bad