A sixty year old guy

(his ancient age — oddly? — put up front in every news account)

and his "girlfriend," twenty-five

(her [non-girl] age up front as well—so, more ageist, less pure oddity)

The twosome, out/about in this first month of strange new year

felt, sensed, that some lithe members of a private gym 

(a gym to which the two did not belong)

were staring at them! through protective glass

that walls off new-style safe-spaced, distanced, full-equipped 

glisteringly closed-off workout room

So in the couple smartly came, unasked, unmasked —

despite the current laws that mandate wearing masks

in all and any indoor public spaces, but most especially

in private gyms, where heavy breathing, exudations, and so on

are norms, have prompted many closures, thus call for caution — 

and pricy new precautions for any daring fitness joints

that now make bold to open up anew

Once inside, drawn near to hardbod members of said gym

(and all the sundry cycles, ropes, weights, shiny bars

that promise heightened vigour, youth, and strength)

the (adult) couple, both of them, began . . . to cough!

Cough loud and long at — upon — in the direction of

all of that place's scanty-clad health-seekers

those sundry keeners, masked and distanced, ultra-sanitized

but there! come there to boost wellbeing (try, at least)

and really not expecting to be expectorated on . . . at all!

Most certainly, not thinking to be coughed upon 

without the soft (yet, one hopes, somehow strong) 

obstruction of absorbent facial masking

there to tautly trap moist breath, and maybe more... 

(maybe muckily, murderously, coronically more)

Joke's on them! An added gamesome twist, perhaps 

at least, it seems the maskless couple found it so

They actually weren't coughing, as later they explained

No, they were acting! They just pretended to cough!

Twenty-something and sixty-something got together

to launch a twofold fit of loud faux mask-free coughing

Because gym members had . . . looked at them.

Fair enough?

The couple's bold-breathed dual coughing act 

went on for quite a while, it seems

Long enough, at least, 

for two convenient cops to quickly be called in

Punitive fines, of course, were then forthwith imposed 

(two hundred thirty dollars each

four hundred sixty dollars for the pair)

imposed, that is

on maskless coughing couple, who'd been looked at

Fair enough?

Revenge expectorations

Malicious coughing fits

Now trending, now a thing, it seems

Performance art, part of the new street scene

'It means what you want it to mean'

True theatre of the absurd

though, like Covid, like sudden shocks, heart-halting fear

angry laughter, random swearing, spurts of rage

like madness too . . .

there's lots of that going around 

Fair enough