Ought I retreat, return to hiding?

Rage-filled glares say yes bitch yes you should

Though . . . cough seems to come just once a day now

Even less — not at all through one whole weekend

Excited! but then returned — relapse, damn it

Mild, perhaps? at least symptoms now seem again

To have departed, maybe gone for good, but . . .

How can I be sure? how?

Just can't

And then . . . flashback to scene observed

Sometime before, seems just so long ago right now

A soft romantic couple, cozy, murmuring

A pretty pair with matching hyacinthine locks

Strolling through a city park on daisied walk before me

Good place to pluck a daisy chain, or pull off soft white petals

Or play he loves me, loves me not, that pleasing lovers' game

Hand in ardent hand, green dapple sunlight there

A dancing benediction on full-bodied red-head love

The blessèd two walked forth entwined, as one — and then

She coughed! and he at once yelled "what the fuck!"

And . . . grimaced, dropped her hand, recoiled

So shocked, back then, just watching them

My hand flew . . . up to my startled throat

Third rate actress in some lame daytime soap

She seemed to stay quite calm

(Far calmer than mad me, at least)

She just kept quiet, kept on walking

As he — making amends, perhaps

(In his mind, not in mine)

Went on, now at a distance

(A good safe distance, that would be)

Went on to say, his manly stab at being cool

"Hey, thought you said you felt okay?"

All that more than a year ago!

All that unreels, a movie in my mind

All so much worse here now, today

It's not as if I'll starve alone

The freezer here so crazy full of food

Should appetite improve, return

Perhaps should really just stay in

Enjoy my cough, my ever-busy brain

For now, or even evermore

For there will always be disease

Ease? not so much