《Destined Stars》16. Failure
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I'm furious about all the crap everyone's saying about Marnie. As soon as I walked into school this morning and heard all the whispers from students about Marine's performance on the weekend, I felt guilty. I don't think anyone knew how to process her talented voice. Hell, I still don't know how to process it.
So why is everyone talking shit about her?
One thing is clear; this girl is driving me insane.
There's no doubt that I'm attracted to Marnie, and it's not just her pretty face or perfect body -- there's something more about her.
That innocent look in her eyes or her cute little laugh. The way her cheeks flush an alluring pink when she plays the piano so beautifully. The way her blue eyes sparkle when she's thinking so intensely and she bites her bottom lip between her teeth. The sweet, angelic voice does something to me. She's pure, she's perfect.
I want her so bad.
I craved so desperately to kiss her, but it wouldn't be fair to her. I'm an asshole. I treat every girl carelessly, I would do the same to Marnie and she doesn't deserve that treatment. She's already endured enough at this school without me having to put salt in that wound.
I fear I may already be in too deep with her. Could I stay away from her?
I have to. For her sake.
My eyes couldn't leave her all through English class. I feel like I'm going crazy whenever I'm around her. Even at lunch when I felt her watching me, my hands gripped the table tightly, my knuckles stark white. At that very moment, I wanted so desperately to get out of my seat, stalk towards her, pull her to me and kiss the hell out of her there and then.
My jaw clenched and I forced myself to look away from the girl who was driving me insane.
The next thing I know, my face is grabbed rather firmly -- almost giving me whiplash -- and pulled into a hard and rough kiss. I knew from the minty taste and the silver stud of her tongue who this person was.
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This was not the mouth I wanted on mine.
I pull away from Harley, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.
"The fuck is wrong with you?"
Matt snickers while Roxy and JJ watch us with matching tensed expressions. Harley leans into me, grabbing my inner thigh and then stroking my leg like a fucking dog. I grab her hand and place it away from me.
She scoffs in response. "Can't I kiss you?"
I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I'm not in the mood for your drama today Harley."
She chuckles darkly next to me. "What do you mean? I only gave you a kiss baby."
"Don't call me that."
Her eyes narrow on me. "Why not?"
"Because I'm not your baby."
Her face turns beet red, I see the wheels turning in her calculated glare. "So, I heard you were sneaking off with that freak at the party last night. Are you seriously going to sleep with that loser?"
I don't even spare another glance at Harley, who watches me closely. "Who I sleep with is none of your concern. Stay the fuck out of it."
She squeezes my thigh again, her long talon nails digging into my black denim jeans. "She can't make you feel good. Seriously, she's a clueless virgin. For fuck sake Reese, the whole school hates her and she made a complete fool of herself singing at that party. She's crazy."
"I thought she sounded great," Roxy says from across the table, biting into an apple. Harley scowls at Roxy.
"She was drunk and clearly showing off--" Harley says and then Matt decides to jump into the conversation.
Fantastic.
"I agree with Harley, she was trying to snatch the spotlight from us. This girl is playing some sort of game to make herself popular."
"And it's working, everyone is talking about her. They think she'll be the next big superstar, like her mommy and daddy." JJ says. My blood boils as I hear them talk shit about Marnie.
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Didn't they hear her last night? She has an incredibly good voice. Roxy is the only one who seems to have noticed this. What the hell is wrong with them?
"We can't let her take all our fans!" Harley wails next to me. My vision turns red with rage.
I can almost feel the smoke coming out of my ears at this point. That's it.
"For fuck sake Harley, just stop! Just shut the fuck up!" the whole table falls into awkward silence at my sudden outburst -- except for Harley.
"Excuse me?" I roll my eyes, leaning back in my seat. I block out her high-pitched screams and think about the girl sitting a few tables over.
I hate how everyone talks about Marnie like she's some sort of intruder at this school. She's insanely talented, and I don't think she has some malicious intent to replace us.
No matter how I feel about her, I need to stay away from her.
I'll only taint her pure heart and I don't want that. She doesn't deserve it.
When I get home from school, I park my bike outside the rusty mustard garage next to my house. The driveway is dull and the plants dotted around the garden are dead, like my fucking soul.
When I step inside my house, I'm immediately greeted by my dad's deep voice.
"I have your report card." I freeze. Fuck.
I stand up straight and walk into the living room, seeing my old man sitting on the worn leather sofa with a grim expression. His dark coal eyes are menacing.
"Did you think I wouldn't find out about this?" he holds up the piece of paper and I gulp uneasily.
I've been failing two classes, and my teachers keeping me behind after class, telling me I need to do better. I'm trying but it's easier said than done, and dad hates me failing anything.
I'm finding things hard right now. Hard to concentrate. Hard to be the best.
I sigh, deciding it's best to tell him the truth. "I'm just finding things... difficult."
My dad stands up, his huge hand holding the card with an iron grip. "And you have time to play your musical instruments with your delinquent friends?"
My jaw tightens, "Don't call them--"
"I expect more from my son!"
That sets me off.
He has no fucking clue.
Getting right in my father's face, my breathing becomes heavier. "I'm not Hayden!" I scream the words loud and clear.
I notice how my dad flinches slightly, upon hearing that name, and then I abruptly turn away from him.
"Don't you turn your back on me! Reese, I will not put up with this any longer! You'll focus on your schoolwork or you're grounded! Do you understand me? Do you want to end up on the streets?" I turn back to face my dad, my arms shaking with fury.
"You don't fucking get it, do you?! You're giving me all this shit, but you don't understand what the fuck I'm going through! You don't see!"
I step back from the big man when his dark eyes narrow on me. I know he'll try and tear me down at any moment. I'm not sticking around for that.
I need to leave.
"If I end up on the streets, so be it. I don't need you."
I can't stand here any longer and argue with him. He will never agree with me, he likes to drag me down in the mud until I submit and I won't stay and take it a second longer.
"REESE! REESE!" I storm out of the house, rage boiling over. I have to get out of here before I destroy everything in my path.
I straddle my bike, the only thing apart from my band keeping me a little sane. I rev the engine and I drive away. From all my problems.
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