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"Hey, girl!" Sasha embraces me and I happily return her warm hug. Sasha is an amazing singer, she's become a close friend to me since starting in the music industry.

I admire Sasha, she's beautiful, talented and confident. It is so good to be working with such a strong, independent and hard-working girl. She inspired me and my music and guided me for years -- she took me under her wing and I can honestly say I wouldn't be where I am now without her.

"You look glowing today. Does this have anything to do with a certain good-looking guy in a rock band?" I smile like the Cheshire Cat and Sasha giggles into her hand. "Ah! I knew it!"

When I walked into the studio, Sasha was already working on a brand new song we wrote together. It will be released to the world later this year. We are so excited.

"So tell me, is it true? Are you guys together?" I couldn't keep the cheesy grin off my face. Peeking at Sasha, her chestnut eyes sparkle in delight from my cheerful expression.

"Yeah, it's true." I chuckle nervously. It's a relief to say out loud. I'm dating Reese Black. I never thought I'd say those words again.

"Thank goodness, I don't know what you ever saw in that Ethan guy. No offence." Sasha scoffs under her breath. "It's lovely to see you this happy and excited."

Sasha told me a few times that she had this bad vibe from Ethan. Sometimes he would turn up at the studio out of the blue and leave abruptly without giving much of an explanation. Yeah, he was polite with my friends, yet he never got involved in many conversations with anyone around me. I brushed it off, thinking it was just his hectic lifestyle. Sasha disagreed but she didn't want to cause tension between me and Ethan.

"Yeah, me neither." I agree. I'm happy because I'm not worrying about the Ethan drama anymore. He's already moved on with another beautiful movie star and I wasn't the least bit fazed. There was no spark in our relationship and I'm relieved because I feel like I've dodged a bullet. I'm glad I never married him.

"It's so sweet. You two look so good together. I saw the pictures in the magazines this morning, everyone loves the new hot celebrity couple." she winks.

I haven't read any articles yet. I still suffer from anxiety and sometimes I suffer from criticism. I rather not read what people have to say about me when I can help it, just to keep my mind at peace and focus solely on my music.

My cheeks heat up and Sasha sighs softly when she sees my face.

"Aw! You're blushing!" I touch my burning face with my hands, trying to cool them down. "Oh, I have an idea!" her face lights up. "You should write a love song about him."

My eyes widen in shock. "No, I can't." Oh gosh. I've never written a romantic song before. It feels too real -- I've written about heartbreak over the loss of my dad but I couldn't write about romance. Love. It's so intimate and personal.

"Why? There's nothing better than a song that's true to you," she places a hand to her chest, "That's come straight from your heart."

Sasha's words couldn't be any more true. I guess I'm scared to write a song so personal, everyone writes songs about love.

I guess I'm worried people might judge me. They will know what my lyrics are about. Or rather who.

Returning home after a long day at the studio, I can't hide the silly smile on my face.

I took Sasha's advice and write my first ever love song -- about my first love -- this is my first love song. In the past, I've written songs about my dad and my mom but this is completely different.

I take my book and pen and begin scribbling lyrics in the journal. I let all my feelings pour out of me and onto the paper. There is so much I want to say, so many feelings that make my heart beat faster and my eyes flood with tears.

I refused to write songs about Reese, I couldn't deal with the emotional pain when I sang the lyrics. I didn't want to relive the heartbreak of high school. Yet looking at the song I've just written within the last five minutes, I knew it was raw and emotional. Better than any other song I've written before. What should I name the title?

I bite my lip, thinking about our conversations in the past. Suddenly, I think of something that fits us perfectly.

I smile softly. I can't wait to sing this for Reese. I'm sure he'll love it. I send a picture of the lyrics to Sasha, waiting to hear what she thinks.

When I met with Theo this morning for breakfast, he could tell I was happy and didn't question my relationship with Reese. Honesty, I'm quite surprised he didn't lecture me about him. When I asked him why -- he explained that he knew one day he'd change from a boy to a man. Once he was past his childish behaviours, he would realise what really matters in life.

I don't know what time I'm meeting Reese today, he messaged me last night to tell me something important came up and I know what it's like to have a busy schedule, so I assured him it was fine and let him do what he needed to do.

I kind of hope I'll see him soon. I can't wait to be back in his arms again -- like the night we shared a few days ago.

It was everything I imagined and more. It was magical. Reese is exactly the guy I've always dreamed about and I'm glad I got to share my first time with him.

As I change into my silk pyjamas, I hear a faint knock on the door. Once I change, I stride towards the door. Who could that be?

Without much thought, I open it and my eyes lock with a pair of stunning green orbs. A smile creeps on my lips, my heart flutters and my skin rises with gooseflesh.

However, my face drops when I see his expression, he looks tired and his hair is more unruly than usual. A few seconds pass when I snap out of it, stepping to the side to let him in and he walks by me, nervously.

"Is everything okay?" I shut the front door and Reese turns, facing me. I start to feel uneasy, the atmosphere is tense. What's wrong with him?

Finally, Reese releases a breath, eyes watching me with sadness and determination.

"I have to tell you something." Those words make the hairs on the back of my neck rise.

I fold my arms against my chest, waiting for him to explain what's going on. "Okay?"

"Can we sit down?" he motions towards the sofa and I nod my head. I sit down comfortably, watching Reese carefully. He stiffens next to me, his jaw tight and his eyes glossed over. I can't help but notice how worried he looks. I've never seen him look so terrified as he does right now.

I'm about to ask what's bothering him before he begins to speak.

"The day I lost you, I went to my brother's grave and made a promise that there wouldn't be any other girl I messed around with. I knew there was only one girl I wanted. It was you." I smile wide.

"The other night was like a dream. I waited so long for you, I was happy. Everything was perfect. You have no idea how much you mean to me, Angel."

I reach out for his hand and he interlocks his fingers through mine. "I feel the same way."

Reese stares at me, so many emotions swirling through those stunning green orbs, why does he look so tormented?

He sighs, "When I went home yesterday, I had a visitor. I was a little surprised when Rosalie showed up at my penthouse suite." my heart drops. Rosalie? The model who Reese mentioned were just friends?

"I asked her what she was doing... and she told me she had some news she needed to share with me. She... she told me she was expecting a baby. My baby."

I freeze. I couldn't move, I couldn't think.

Baby?

His baby?

"Marnie please just let me explain everything, okay? Just hear what I have to say, please." he continues speaking as I try to gain enough strength to listen.

"I asked her how that was possible because I never slept with her. She started crying and then she revealed I got so drunk at an afterparty. I had no recollection of that night Marns I swear."

My heart bleeds, it feels like I've been slapped in the face. I blink. "You're having a baby." I breathe each word out. No. It can't be true. Not my Reese.

My hand falls from his and I reel back in shock. "Believe me I'm just as shocked with the news as you are. I don't know how to take it in." my chest feels like it's been torn open, my heart set free and jumping to its death.

My brain is running a mile an hour and my heart is somewhere on the floor. Reese is expecting a baby with another woman. Did she know about me?

"I... I can't believe this is happening. I mean, we just got back together?"

I pace the room, bile rises in my throat and pain attacks me like a dagger to the chest.

Reese stands, walking up to me with cautious steps. "I need to be there for Rosalie and the baby, we're not together but I wanted you to be the first to know and... I also wanted to give you the choice if you still... want to be with me or not."

I glare at him, how could he think about starting a relationship with me when he has another woman who is pregnant with his child? That wouldn't be fair on her or the baby.

"How can I? You're having a baby Reese! You're starting a family with another woman!" I scoff, "It would be a little insensitive to Rosalie if we continued a relationship, don't you think?"

Hurt crosses his expression, he's at a loss for words. He hangs his head in shame.

"I...I... but we... I love you, Marnie."

My eyes fill with tears and my bottom lip wobbles. I don't want to cry in front of him. "And I love you, Reese," a traitorous tear falls from my eye, "But this changes things."

"Why?" he chokes out.

"Reese..." I clear the lump in my throat, finally getting the words out. "Maybe this is destiny or fate or whatever. I don't think we were meant to be together from the start. This proves it."

His face drains of colour. "Marnie, please..." he looks desperate and my stomach twists.

"I'm sorry, I just... can't." another tear falls from my eye, I can't believe this is happening right now. I was happy only ten minutes ago. It's like I'm in a horrible nightmare or something. I hope I wake up soon.

He reaches for me, cupping my face, my mouth less than an inch from his. "Marnie, please..."

The tears and quiet sobs start again, I push him away. "No, get out," I cry, holding up my hands to keep him away. "I can't look at you right now. I can't wrap my head around this. I feel sick."

"Marnie, please," he begs, "I love you--" he reaches out to me and I swat his hand away.

"Oh, please!" I cut him off. "Don't touch me. Get out!" he winces, my eyes burning with tears.

I feel like I'm dying.

Reese looks defeated. His eyes drop to the floor, and he is silent for a few seconds before he speaks again. "I understand. Fuck, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

His eyes, filled with pain and longing raked over my face as he took me in with a sorrowful expression.

I close my eyes, shaking my head. I can't listen to him apologising. It will only make this harder than it needs to be. "Please, leave, I want to be alone."

"Just know, I love you, Marnie. I always have. I didn't want to hurt you and it kills me seeing you so upset." a sob falls from my mouth as I turn away from him. I can't deal with this, I can't. "But I'll leave you alone."

When I hear him leave, I let out a painful cry. My frustration and sadness pour out of me all at once. My heart feels like it's been ripped out of my chest and I can't seem to be able to breathe. I gave him my heart and now I'm left with nothing.

Am I having a panic attack?

Grief. Pain. Love. It all floods me at once, preventing me from catching my breath.

I need to calm down.

Breathe Marnie.

Breathe.

I close my eyes, slowly counting backwards until my breathing regulates back to normal. My eyes burn, and my lids just want to close forever.

I blink hard at the shot of pain digging into my skull between my eyes. My face is tear-streaked with mascara.

Heading over to the coffee table on shaky legs, I pick up the crumpled piece of paper in my hand, gazing at lyrics that came straight from my heart.

My eyes blur, I can't see the writing anymore. I can't finish reading the song. It hurts too much. I crumble the page and drop the paper ball to the ground -- like my heart -- destroyed.

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