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The days blurred together. Everything felt wrong and I had no control over my life anymore. This is my fault. I was too careless and stupid and now I must accept my own fate.

A few days have passed since my whole world changed.

I took a few days off from the band to get my head straight. Of course, Jared and Maddox understood my situation and when they asked how it went with Marnie, I broke down on the phone. Literally full-on crying.

They were concerned about me and suggested that I needed time and space to myself.

I'm lying on the sofa, staring blankly at the ceiling, thinking about white blonde hair and vivid blue eyes.

My heart clenches painfully. Marnie.

Tears burn my eyes as I remember her flushed heart-shaped face, the devasted look she gave me when she said we couldn't be together. I wanted to die. I just couldn't bear the pain.

I hear a buzzing noise somewhere in the distance but my eyes remain locked on the ceiling, thinking about my Angel. She deserves the world and I can't give her that anymore. I failed her. Someday she will move on with a better man, the right man -- as much as the thought kills me.

The buzzing continued. With a heavy sigh, I swing my legs to sit up straight and grab my phone lying on the floor.

The screen brightens up with a video call from my old friend Matt. I haven't spoken to him in months due to my lifestyle and he's busy attending his last year in college.

Without thinking, I press the green button and accept the video call.

Matt's face fills the screen, his smug grin is all I can see before he starts yelling. "Holy shit! You finally picked up your phone!"

I bet I look a mess, I haven't showered yet and I'm wearing comfortable clothes I threw on this morning.

"Hey, man." I ruffle my hair, I can see it stuck up in different directions on the small screen on the right side of my phone.

"Reese it's so good to hear from you dude, it's been months since we last spoke. You good?"

I force a faint smile, despite feeling numb for the past few days. I don't want to tell Matt about my personal life yet. I couldn't get the news to sink in my head, and as much as I trusted Matt to keep it a secret, I couldn't tell anyone in case the information gets leaked into the media. "Yeah, you?"

It's good to hear from an old friend. Yes, Matt and I drifted through the years, but we always stayed in touch from time to time. He's always been a true friend. "Good good and yeah, college life has been busy but I'm currently home and I have a surprise for you, man. Wait--"

"Oh, yeah?" I hear some shuffling in the background and the next thing I know, the sound of a high-pitched voice rings through the speaker. "Hey, Reese!"

Two familiar faces now appear on the bright screen and I can't hold back the shock and surprise on my face, even if I tried. My two friends from high school and mates from my previous band. "Shit, Rox, JJ, hey guys! How are you?"

Roxy who had long raven hair back in high school now has bright cherry red hair that reaches just past her shoulders. JJ sits next to her small frame, his arm swung over her shoulder. He looks older, more mature. He doesn't have his usual spiky messy hair. Instead, it's combed back into a neat man bun and he now has a dark, thick copper beard.

I can't believe how much they've changed in the past three years. "We're great, thanks for asking. Wow, it's so incredible to hear from you, we missed you!"

JJ grins and begins to speak after Roxy, "Yeah, we're visiting home for a while and Matt was in town too and we got talking about you. It was Matt's idea to call you. It's so great to see you, man."

I feel terrible that I haven't spoken to either of them since leaving high school. To be honest, I thought they would hate me for disappearing on them without any word. I'm grateful Matt was able to arrange a phone call. "I miss you guys! I'm glad you called. So how's life going?"

Roxy smiles from ear to ear, bouncing in her seat excitedly. "Oh, it's wonderful! We're living in Florida now and we're getting married next summer, can you believe it?"

My eyes grow wide. "That's amazing guys, I'm happy for you."

"We wanted to know if you could come to the wedding... I mean, if you're not busy being the most famous rockstar in the world right now." JJ chuckles.

"I wouldn't miss it, I promise I'll be there."

My manager's number pops on the screen and I groan internally. Great, he's probably heard how I've been ditching the band for the past week and I know for a fact he won't be happy with me.

I tell my friends I have an incoming call from my manager that I needed to take, I tell Roxy and JJ to leave their numbers with Matt so I can stay in contact with them regularly and they tell me they will let me know the details of their wedding.

"It's so nice to hear from you Reese, it's so good to see you happy and we can all say that we are proud of the man you've become. Take care sugar and we'll see you soon!"

"Thanks, Rox, talk soon, okay. Bye guys." after ending the call, I sigh before accepting my manager's call and waiting for the unpleasant lecture I rightfully deserve.

The few days after I left Marnie, my heart broke into pieces. You know you love someone so deeply if your heart bleeds as much as mine has. I didn't blame her for breaking up with me. Of course, I deserved it.

This was my responsibility and I had to do what was right, despite what my heart told me.

I wouldn't put any pressure on Rosalie about the baby and I wouldn't put any pressure on Marnie to stay with me.

This whole situation reminds me of a time that occurred almost four years ago. I was seventeen and it had just been the first anniversary of my brother's death. One night, I was coming home after a party. I was blackout drunk.

I remembered the treehouse my brother and my father built for me when I was thirteen. I wanted to see the treehouse because it reminded me of him and the days when we were just young teens. I was walking into the back garden when I heard their voices.

I recall peeking through the bushes and seeing my father and my mother whispering angrily beside the treehouse. Sometimes they would argue outside so I didn't hear their conversations because the walls were paper-thin.

My mother raised her hands in frustration, a grim look on her face while my father's face was beetroot red and angry. I could just make out what they were whispering.

"I don't want it, Linda, we just lost our son."

I tried listening in on their conversation as I stumbled in the dark. My head spun from the alcohol I consumed at the party.

"So what? Do you just want to get rid of it? This is our child I'm carrying Richard!" my mother's voice grew higher and higher.

"You said yourself this relationship isn't working anymore. So if we're going to go our separate ways, what's the point in having another child?"

Wait... child?

What?

"You can't make that decision for me!" I stumbled back in shock, unable to comprehend what I was hearing. Was I still drunk?

"You said you wanted to leave us, me and your son. So you're giving up on him. Why the hell would you have another kid?"

My heart dropped down to my stomach. I knew my mother was being distant lately, I just assumed it was the pain of losing Hayden. I thought it was a temporary thing. Was she giving up on me? But why?

"Fuck you, Richard! I believed that having this child would heal me from the pain of losing my first son. I can't bear to look at Reese. He caused that crash, he took Hayden away from us! You know that, right?"

My whole body froze from my mother's words. Does she really believe I caused the crash?

"Save yourself the trouble Linda and get rid."

My eyes filled with tears and my heart pounded. How could they give up on their child? How could they be so cruel? Was it my fault? Did I cause all this?

At the time, I thought I was too drunk and I was hearing things. The next morning I thought it was all a dream. There was no way my parents thought I killed my own brother and I never heard another word about a child.

I forgot all about that night, but now I can't stop thinking. That it was all true.

When Rosalie told me the news about her pregnancy, it brought me back to that memory. It haunts me. I know I can't turn out like my parents.

Rosalie was carrying an innocent child and I will without a doubt put my baby before anything else. I'll love him until the day I die, I'll never abandon him or treat him like garbage. I won't turn out like my parents.

Today, Rosalie turns up at my door a week since she revealed the news of her pregnancy. She looks up at me with a sheepish smile as I let her inside my penthouse. She walks in quietly, glancing at me nervously.

She asks if I'm okay and I reassure her I am. I know she worries about me since finding out the news but I don't want her to stress about me. She nods her head, settling on the sofa.

She fiddles with her hands as I watch her with furrowed brows. "Is everything okay?"

Her lip wobbles and her eyes glance at me cautiously. What's wrong with her?

She looks at me like she's about to break down and cry. "I'm sorry, Reese. I made a big mistake."

Oh God, was she okay? The baby?

"What do you mean?" I take a few steps towards her and she cowers back, frightened.

What on earth is going on with her?

"You have to know I was hurting. W-when you can't have the man you love, you do things without thinking and when I saw the pictures of you... and Marnie... I let my jealousy consume me."

I start to feel a little lightheaded. Why couldn't she just tell me what was going on and why is she so nervous? "Where are you going with this Rose?"

She looks at me with so much longing and sadness that my blood turns to ice.

"I've been in love with you for two years Reese, but y-you never once looked at me. Do you know how it feels to have the person you love not want you? I've never been rejected before and as soon as I meet the guy of my dreams -- he pushes me away."

I know what's it like to be pushed away. I was heartbroken when Marnie dumped me, twice. Although it was all because of me and my stupidity. I was destroyed, broken.

"I didn't know you felt this way, I'm sorry--" I start apologising.

"Reese, don't apologise because I did something so terrible, you'll probably hate me forever."

I stare at her in confusion. "What is it?"

Her eyes turn glassy and her cheeks flame. "Tell me, Rose."

"I lied. We never slept together and... I'm not pregnant. I was desperate to have you and I stupidly thought telling you I was pregnant would bring you closer to me."

My heart sliced with pain while my hands shake as my anger starts to bubble over. I'm speechless, utterly speechless. After everything I've been through, after hurting the girl I love because I thought I was doing the right thing for my baby. No. Fuck. No.

Now that I think about it, I should have asked for proof that she was indeed carrying my baby. I was foolish to trust her because she was my friend.

"You tried to trap me. You destroyed my relationship with the woman I love... because you were jealous?"

Tears fall one by one, regret swirling in her orbs. "I never meant to trap you. I was upset Reese--" she pleads.

"Jesus, Rose. Why the hell would you do this? What? Why--" my hands clench onto my hair in frustration. My eyes close and I try to calm my erratic breathing.

Oh God, I've lost everything. I thought I did the right thing by letting Marnie go and now she'll never forgive me, she'll never want me again.

"I love you, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Rosalie whimpers, throwing herself on me. I freeze, my body shaking as I untangle myself from Rose who is hysterical.

My eyes narrow on her and she sobs louder. "No, that isn't love Rosalie. Christ! This is insane, this is wrong." I rub my eyes, sighing heavily.

"I know, Reese, please--" she takes a step towards me again and I take a bigger step back. An angry snarl forms on her mouth and my head spins at her sudden mood swings. "What does she have that I don't? Huh? Tell me!" she yells.

I shake my head and I walk over to her, her face only inches from mine. "Are you satisfied now? Huh? You ruined everything between me and Marnie." she frowns at the tone of my voice. I don't care, I'm livid.

"I'm sorry!" I scoff and turn away. "What's so wrong about us being together? We could be a great couple. Please, Reese!"

What the hell!? Why is she pushing this?

"I can make you happy--"

"I love her Rosalie." I breathe out.

She gasps. "No! I don't believe it. How can you love her? You haven't seen her in years. I've been there for you when she hasn't. I was a good friend to you."

I sigh sadly. "You have but I don't want to be with you."

"Bullshit!" I could scream, I could yell at her all I want to but it wouldn't change a thing.

She lied. She fucking lied and I have to live with the consequences.

"Just leave, I need to be alone right now." I snap.

After a long half an hour of me encouraging her to leave. She finally listens and then I'm left to sulk on my own.

What did I do to deserve this punishment? I thought I did everything I was supposed to do to win over Marnie. And when I do, she's quickly taken away from me.

Was she right? Are we not destined to be together?

No, I don't believe that.

I know I've never felt anything as close to what I feel for Marnie. I need her in my life. I can't let her go.

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