Don't Bring It Out Of Me

- - - - -

Ana was on her bed, arms behind her head as she stared up at the ceiling. It was probably four in the morning and she couldn't even get a wink of sleep. Mostly because of the awful memories jolting her awake every time. It had been a few weeks after her visit to the hospital, but she still suffered from headaches.

There was a beep next to her followed by a voice, "Ana, you up?" She heard Natasha call through the tablet by her bed.

Ana reached over and tapped the circle, "Yeah, Nat. What is it?" She asked and let go of the button to hear her reply.

"How do you feel about a morning training session?"

"I could let off some steam. Meet you in five."

- - -

Ana strapped the fingerless gloves on her hands, walking to the open facility used for the long range weapons testing and simulation training. She spotted Nat at the controls, most likely setting up a scenario for them to fight through. Last time it was multiple armed targets coming at both ends. Tony designed it, and everyone liked using it since it didn't actually include hurting people.

"Why you up so early?" Natasha asked, clicking the last button before the lights calibrated to her design.

"Can't sleep." Ana said, stopping in the middle of the room and waiting for the task.

Natasha's hair had gotten longer in the past few months, the high pony tail swishing as she stretched her legs. Ana put her hands on her hips as she looked at the wall opening up and numerous drone soldiers walked out.

She then frowned deeply, recognising the style of their uniform. Soviet uniform. The same type she grew up around. When she went to question Nat on it, the simulation started. Ana could sense Natasha prowl behind her, watching her every move.

"Nat, what the hell is this?" Ana asked with a low voice. Her eyes kept on flickering between the ten drones.

"The reason I was up is because I've been encoding some Hydra files I put up on the net. Some were of you. And I read them all." She replied from behind her.

Ana watched the drones set themselves up in a semi circle at the end of the room. Their green cameo uniform and machine guns, that only carried stun bullets, all pointed at her. Her head flinched to the side, her jaw clenching when images flashed before her eyes.

"Why are you reading them?" She asked.

"Because you won't talk to me about it!"

"Well I don't want to-"

"You don't want to what? Accept the fact that you're the Winter Warrior? A living weapon? Raised by Hydra? And that if I read a few words in Russian you're under my control?"

Ana snapped her head back to Natasha, hazel eyes glaring at her. Her hands were curled into fists and she took steps towards her. "What are you trying to accomplish, Black Widow?" She asked, her voice icy.

Natasha kept her face emotionless, "I want you to not let it control you. I want you to control it." She said.

Something inside Ana snapped and she snarled and took a step forward, but the drones caught her shoulders, stopping her. Natasha watched as a ruthless smirked appeared on Ana's lips. In a flash, Ana flipped backwards and sent her hands through the drones, grabbing onto their power source and crushing it. She turned and swung her hand sensing another behind her, but the drone caught it.

Ana took her other hand and ripped the arm out of its socket before tackling it down and ripping its head off. Sparks flew everywhere and Ana dove to the side when more drones started shooting at her. All she saw were targets, things to kill. And so far, only seven were left.

Natasha watched wide eyed as Ana took two more drones down with precision. She used her strength to send an uppercut, taking the head straight off and kicking it so it smashed into the next drone.

She was shot a few times. It should've slowed her down, but she kept going at them. A drone pointed its weapon at her and she covered the barrel with her gloved hand before using her forearm to sever its head off.

Four more were left and she ran, sliding on her knees when they started shooting before jumping up and kneeing a drone in the chest and stabbing it with the gun. The two drones behind her emptied their stun bullets on her, and she groaned, falling to her knees.

Natasha had the final stop signal on the device in her hands. She went to press it, immediately regretting what she had done. Ana's head snapped to the side as if she was punched, something within her sparking awake. Her head pounded against her skull and she reached up to cradle it, shutting her watery eyes.

Natasha shut down the remaining drones and ran to Ana, falling to her knees in front of the girl. She hesitantly reached out for her but pulled back, a frown adorning her lips.

"Ana?"

Ana slowly opened her eyes, looking at the woman in front of her. It took a few seconds, but she recognised Natasha and thats when she broke down. She placed a hand over her mouth when a whimper escaped and scrambled to her feet.

Natasha stood and grabbed her elbow before she could walk away. "What's going through your mind right now?" She questioned.

Ana shook her head, "You don't want to know." She whispered before removing herself from her hold and running out of the facility. The rain was pelting down hard and she headed for the trees behind the facility.

Ana didn't stop running until she was far from the base, stopping next to a tree and placing her hands and head on it. She tried controlling her breath. She didn't want to come to terms of what she was raised to be. She didn't want to be the assassin made by Hydra. She didn't want to be someone that if she hears a few words, she's a mindless killer under their control.

She just wants to be a good person. And the Avengers, it was everything to her. She wouldn't want anything or anyone taking that away from her.

She had to find out more. If there was any place – maybe the old facility she was trained at – that had any more information on her. She couldn't risk the chances of anyone else ever finding out about her. What she was. What she could do. And what she could be.

- - -

"Ana! Please just let me talk!"

Ana ignored Natasha and slammed her door shut, making the photo frames on the wall shake at the force. She pulled at her wet hair, closing her eyes to calm down. She sat down on her bed and took deep breaths in and out, trying to slow her heartbeat.

The pounding on the door flinched her out of her state.

She rocked back and forth in the corner, crying her eyes out at the banging on the door. She could hear them shout for her to come out, but she was too afraid. She pressed her hands to her ears and tried to shut out the noise, sobbing when her hearing only amplified.

Ana stood up abruptly and clutched her chest, finding it hard to breathe all of a sudden.

She cried out just before her head was forced back into the water, her screams muffled and drowning. The men held her down as she tried to get back up to breathe. She tapped the side of the tub frantically, just before a metal hand shot out and pushed the men off of her.

Ana fell to the floor on her knees, placing her hands to her mouth to keep from screaming.

She tried to dodge each of the knives thrown at her, successfully completing her task. Just as she went to bow respectively in front of Herr Strucker, a loud bang sounded and she fell to the floor with a scream, clutching her shoulder in pain.

Ana then went quiet, staring in the space in front of her blankly. The pounding on the door stopped.

She sat up in the chair, the memory wiping procedure now over. A man bent down in front of her and stared into her blank eyes with a grin. He clapped the scientist on the back and shook his hand. She saw movement from the corner of her eye and looked to the man in black on the far side of the room, just watching her. She tilted her head to the side in confusion, noticing how he did the same.

"Please don't be upset. I heard the commotion and came as fast as I could." Vision phased through the walls of her room, looking down at Ana with a small frown.

Ana looked up at the familiar voice and placed her hands on her legs, sniffling. Once he saw she was okay, he opened the door to let the others in. Natasha was the first one to practically run to her. She kneeled next to the brunette. "Ana? Please tell me what's going on? What did I do?" She asked.

Steve, Sam and Wanda all hanged back with Vision still in their sleeping wear, watching their fellow friend with concern. Ana wiped her eyes and shook her head, "Nothing. It's fine." She told Natasha.

"No it's not." Steve spoke up, uncrossing his arms and stepping forward.

Natasha avoided his disappointed gaze and took Ana's hands in her own. Steve sighed and looked at Ana, "Is it the memories?"

"Yes." Ana looked at him.

"Well let's take a walk in the rain, it always makes you feel better." Sam offered.

Ana shook her head, patting Nat's hands showing her it was fine when she wrapped her blanket around her shoulders. The red head shook her head to herself as Wanda came to kneel next to Ana's side.

She placed a hand on her shoulder, "I can try remove the bad parts." She said.

"You still haven't controlled it fully, Wanda. I don't recommend it." Vision stated.

Ana nodded along with him while Wanda shot him a look. "He's right." She stood up and looked at them all, "I have to leave. It'll be for a few days, but I need to find some answers."

The team went to argue about it but she gave them a little smile and an assuring look. Steve knew he couldn't tell her to stay, he'd seen the way she would always jump to things that would involve leaving the base. She didn't want to stay cooped up in one place.

"And if you don't find anything? What then?" Steve asked.

"I come back and forget about it all." Ana nodded, letting out a long breath.

"Just like that?" Sam questioned.

"I'm not going to let it take over my life." She answered.

"Want some company?" Natasha asked.

Ana shook her head, "It's something I need to do on my own."

Steve sighed and gave her a look, "You sure about this."

"No. But I still need to do it."

- - - - -

We're getting close to Civil War! I hope you liked this one and tell me what you thought.

Q- What is your favourite food?