《You're Still The One *slowly editing* (Completed)》Chapter 18
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Calm and so much unnaturally quiet... Emma sat on the back porch steps of her house, her hands folded across her knees and her chin rested upon them. The whole day had passed in anxiety, too many things working as a slow poison inside her.
It was still so hard for her to believe that Brandan had truly come back in her life and had knocked on her doorstep, knocked on her life every brick of which had signatures of her blood and sweat. And now everything that was so precious for her was in threat, threatened by that one person's return.
What would she tell him if he asked about her children, about their father?
No. she would never let him know, otherwise everything would be ruined. Everything.
She had went too far leaving her past behind. She thought she had managed to make her life perfect with the two most adorable loving children in it, a stable career and a roof upon her head, only to suddenly turn back and discover that the past that she had left behind had just followed right after her.
Why was fate putting her into this test? Why she had to face Brandan again, why ?
If she was alone she would have - maybe again run away. It's not only Brandan she was running away from, she was running away from Evan too and her haunted memories. She definitely didn't intend to return to that state ever. But she wasn't alone now, she had now two little people to think about. She couldn't risk their future or make their life unstable.
She was torn between hiding and avoid the reality or stand up and face it.
Sighing she closed her tired eyes.
"Emma ..."
A voice so husky called out her name in the softest way possible, so soft and sincere that she felt like she would melt into it. She opened her eyes only to lock them into two dark pair of eyes looking back into hers intently.
Brandan leaned against the pillar of her back porch steps. It was past twelve at night, he had been looking at her from quite a while now, sitting here... lost and dazed out in thoughts. Only if he could know what those thoughts were.
He had been wandering around keeping his eyes on her house, finding a way - an opportunity to talk to her. But when he saw that opportunity arrive - her walking out through the back door, he suddenly found himself dwelling into two different directions. While he wanted to go beg for her forgiveness and keep grovelling till she melted, at the same time he felt this uncontrollable urge to straightaway ask her those questions he was dying to get answers of since he met her last night.
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"You know, it's not safe to sit out here alone at such an ungodly hour." He said quietly.
It took a couple of seconds for Emma to come out of the shock. She knew this was inevitable, Brandan would somehow find a way to talk to her. His living in the neighborhood had only worsened things even more. But why did he want to talk to her? Shouldn't he be happy, be thankful that she was out of his life, that he didn't have to marry her and sacrifice his so called reputation? He should've been avoiding her like a plague.
He hated her, right? She still remembered the venom in his voice that morning when he made it pretty clear how much he despised her. Not just that day but every day - every single moment of when she was around him. Then what had changed that now!
Silently she stood up. She was about to turn around and walk away but before she could Brandan's hand gripped her wrist, stopping her.
"Leaving me again?"
The double meaning of his words weren't unnoticed by Emma, nor was the tingle on her skin that was created by his touch, which only made anger bubble up from deep within her. The pent up anger of years was slowly surfacing, like how lava slowly erupts from a sudden awakened volcano.
Yanking her hand away from his grip, Emma turned around to face him this time. "What the hell do you want Brandan?"
Her tone had a bitter edge to it, Brandan matched it with his own kind of gentleness. "Your forgiveness."
He gazed deeper into her eyes letting his genuine purpose to be shown - bare and vulnerable, hoping that she would understand, that she would believe him. He wanted to say - not just forgiveness, he wanted, no, he needed her love as well. He needed her and he needed all of her. An essential part of that "all of her" was their kids too. And he greedily, like a selfish man wanted all of them.
For a moment, the truthfulness Emma thought she saw in his eyes took her by shock, but then, she gathered herself together. This was Brandan Rozario - the player, the heartbreaker. Of course he had a lot of practice with those looks and charms.
Brandan was taken aback by the look of disbelief that crossed her face, he immediately knew by instinct that she was going to flee. So he quickly went around and stood before the door blocking her way into the house.
"Move away." She again yelled in a low tone, the last thing she wanted now was to wake up the sleeping people inside the house or in the neighborhood.
Brandan shook his head in negative. "Not before you hear me out, not before you answer my questions."
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For a long minute Emma stared at him with questions of her own whirling in her mind. It felt like she was talking to somebody else and not to the Brandan she knew years back. Why it felt like - he had changed!
Quickly she looked away from his face and focused on anything which wasn't him. It was all her assumption, she told herself. And she was in no way going to jump back into the same hole she had managed to climb out from years ago.
"I am not obliged to answer you Brandan, now let me go." She almost raised her voice but managed to bit back at the end.
Brandan was determined, it was now or never. "Are they mine?" His voice shook, there was desperation and hope there. His heart longingly thumped inside his chest, pleading with every single beat to hear the one word - yes. Somewhere deep down he knew the answer but still he needed to listen it from her mouth.
Emma's face suddenly went pale, he watched her gasp hearing the question. She looked down at her feet with a blank look.
It felt like a decade had passed in silence, so Brandan repeated it again. "Are they, Emma? Tell me I'm their..." There was a soft, hesitant, agonizing pause, "...father."
He desperately held her shoulders now and shook her a little, wanting to shake her out of her silence.
Emma flinched slightly, her voice was inaudible now there was no trace of the earlier anger left. "I... I don't know what you are talking about..."
She tried shrugging off his hands from her shoulders but he didn't have the plan to let go, not now... not ever.
Brandan felt like he was standing on a cliff and was about to fall down, her answer was the only thing which could save him. Desperation turned into anger.
"You know what I am talking about Emma." He demanded while she was on the edge of breaking down.
Emma was breathing heavily now. "Stop it!"
"No. Not until you answer me." The helplessness in his voice didn't go unnoticed by his own ears.
"Just tell me that Sammy, Sarah they are my children, tell me they are mine. Say it, Emma, please..." He pleaded.
Finally with all her strength she pushed at his chest and stepped away from his hold. Her scream at him was like a dam gate had burst open.
"YES. Here I said it. Yes, they are..."
And right then she realized. She realized what she had just confessed. Never had she ever felt so exposed before anyone like this. A tear escaped her eye as her lips quivered, she began breathing heavily almost in the verge of a panic attack.
Brandan stood frozen as a number of emotions hit him, he didn't notice when Emma ran past him inside the house. He couldn't hear the slam of the door closing behind him. He sat down on the porch in front of the closed door as his knees gave up.
Slowly a faint smile appeared on his lips along with the moistness of his eyes. The feeling of fatherhood filled every cell of his being. Sarah, Sammy - they were his blood. He was a father.
Then like a breathless punch another realization hit him in full force.
He was a father since six years, but he didn't even know. He had these two beautiful children to hold, to protect, to care for and to love. But he didn't even know they existed. He hadn't any idea of their likes and dislikes, of what they were afraid of, their tantrums or their mischief - the list went on and on.
God knows what he had been doing when they for the first time learned to walk, when they first spoke and which word they uttered for the first time? Could it be - daddy? No, they didn't even know about the existence of a daddy.
With frustration and anger he once again, more than ever repented the person he was six years back.
If only back then, he had been the man he was now, Emma wouldn't have left, they would have been together. And he wouldn't have to miss how she looked with her swollen belly carrying his children, he wouldn't have to miss their first cries, first words, first steps, their first birthday and all those birthday's that followed, and heaven knew how many more "first things" were there. And he couldn't help but also feel disappointed in Emma. For so long, he was kept into this pathetic darkness. And now that he was introduced to the light, he didn't have a idea of what to do with it and how.
He sat there in the middle of the silence of night with a horror and agony in his chest. His children didn't even know that he was their father. The successful business tycoon, the man with all the wealth and power to get everything he wished for sat on someone's back porch steps, suddenly realizing how poor he was when his whole world laid there somewhere inside the house. And he wanted nothing else but to be a part of that world, be a part of them.
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So, how was it friends? How do you feel about their talk and how it ended? Do let me know.
Vote, comment and follow me if you have enjoyed reading this chapter. :)
- Lara. :)
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