Yes, you were right. All of you motherfuckers were right.

Did you really think it would be so easy to get rid of me?

You saw the hints, didn't you?

You recognized my outfit in the intro and how it began to snow. You also saw my hand on my belly where I was stabbed, didn't you?

There were so many hints which made all of you think I'm alive, and you were fucking right.

Still not convinced? Then let me tell you what actually happened.

It is true for a fact that Lao stabbed me and that I stumbled into my favourite library then. After I read Eiji's letter, I really wanted to leave him alone. I loved him so much and it hurt, because I knew I wasn't good for him. Not good enough. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't protect him. Maybe for a short period of time, but for sure not forever. And I was also disgusted by myself for showing him how to use a gun. I could slap myself for even showing him how to hold one, even if my gun was one of the first things we talked about. Thinking back to the day I first met him, my chest felt tighter and I felt like not breathing enough air. Another panic-attack. This relationship had already started toxic. This wasn't the world I wanted Eiji to live in, and I knew I couldn't just suddenly disappear to Japan. I had to go back somewhen, because I am who I am. A boss. A killer. A murderer. And there was no forgiveness for somebody like me. Hell was already waiting for me. But the devil made his plans without Papa Dino.

As I was his favourite, he couldn't risk losing me. I was shot, stabbed and injured nearly every day, so he had to do something against it. Papa let his scientists invent an injection, which would make you heal faster than any normal human could. This is why I didn't die back then. And come on, if you really wanted to kill me, you should stab my heart or shoot my head, I'm not that easy to defeat. And did you really think nobody would recognize all the blood I lost on my way? Or if there lay some man on a table and about 3 litres of blood were running down his legs? As you may assume, anold lady called the ambulance. The voices around me of people screaming and asking if I was okay or alive woke me from my trance before I was fully unconscious. When I tried to sit straight a harsh pain went through my upper body and made me flinch. My head hurt like hell and I felt like a train hit me, not a little knife. I heard the sirens of the ambulance, knowing they were coming for me. But there was also a second, very familiar sound of a siren. The police. Fuck. The police. I pressed my hands against the wound and tried to run out of the building. But it seemed to be harder than expected. I stumbled towards the bathroom where I stole the first aid kit and threw some bandages into my pockets. I jumped out of the window, which seemed to be a big mistake, because I lost even more blood. It was snowing outside, and I was thankful for the cold air which stopped me from passing out. The cold snow covered up my steps and the red drops which were falling down even faster because I was moving way too violent for a wound like that. I considered to just sit down again and finally allow myself to leave this hell and peacefully close my eyes. But as I was about to sit down, I heard a very familiar laugh, and a shiver went through my whole body. I turned around, even if I knew the voice was just in my head. At the loss of blood, I began to hallucinate, and all I heard was an angel's laugh. In my thoughts I allowed myself to sit, and the angel held his hands out for me. As we touched, all my pain disappeared, not just the wound on my stomach, but everything that ever hurt me. I began to forget about all the painful things which happened to me in my life. Everything bad vanished and I saw a flashback of each second, I've spent with Eiji. For the first time in my life, I truly smiled, and I never wanted to leave this place again. But suddenly I heard a strange noise, the angel's hands were shaking, his smile vanished, and he cried uncontrollably. I wanted to help him, to hug and comfort him, but the more I tried to come closer, the further he was away. I tried so hard, but I couldn't reach him. I don't know why, but I didn't want the angel to be sad. I wanted him to happily smile again, like he always did. "Why did you leave me?" the angel suddenly asked with a low voice and his empty chocolate-brown eyes stared right into mine. "No chance I'm going to do that to you" I thought and shut my eyes open. I wanted to make the angel smile again. My vision was still blurred, but my mind was clear. I was injured so often, so I knew exactly what to do and knew how long I would be with consciousnesses. But who could I trust? I went full risk