I saw the pain that crossed her expression. But I breathed a sigh relief when she said that it won't happen again.

I knew she meant it.

Her comment about Nick, surprised me though.

Maybe it was a one time thing...

Maybe she didn't mean for it to happen...

Maybe she was just lonely...

I shook my head.

None of that matters now, remember?

I hurriedly walked back to my room.

I wanted to cry and burst in anger at the same time.

Why did I do that?

Why did I just convince myself to take a chance on Lucas?

"What's the matter with you, Olivia!"

If only he had been willing to listen to what I said to him before. If only he had been willing to talk then.

Why now?

Because of the twins...

I broke down in tears. The one person I trusted most in this world... The one I should have been able to count on, turned his back on me and refused to listen to anything I had to say then.

He looked right through me with angry, cold, bleak eyes, and tossed me out of his life. Called me a liar and a cheat. And now he wants to leave the past behind us and never speak of it again? Pretend that it never happen? Forgive and forget?

Could I really forgive and forget though?

Could I really forgive him?

I sagged on the bed.

My eyes dropped to my hands, resting on my lap.

If he can do it, why can't I, right?

If it was just me, it would be easier to walk out this door, and never see him again. But with our boys, it's not just about me, or Lucas anymore. It's about what's best for the twins. And that is to be together, and be the best parents to our boys.

The silence stretched out around me.

Who am I kidding? I would do anything for my boys. And if I were to be honest with myself, I'd admit that I want this time with Lucas. I still want to be him. And no matter how much I tried not to, and in spite of all the pain he has caused me, I still love him with everything I am.

A part of me knew, I was being stupid. But I'm also sick and tired of being alone. I'm tired of being angry. Most of all, I'm tired of hurting.

My phone suddenly rings, interrupting my thoughts.

It's my brother Jason.

"Hello?"

"Hey bro," Jason greeted on the other end.

"Hey man, everything okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. Everything's fine. Just wanted to see where you are? Called your office and your assistant said you were out of town and has taken a few days off."

I pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers. There was no easy way to say this. It's going to be even harder to explain to Ethan. "Look, Jason, I found Livie... I mean Olivia. She's with me, and the twins."

I heard his sharp intake of breath. "You found her? What? When? Where? And twins? What twins?"

"I found her in Louisiana, and the twins, they're mine. Mine and Liv...Olivia's. They're twin boys... Jarred, and Jaydan."

"Jesus! Twins? Yours? Yours and Liv? You sure? Have you had a test done confirming paternity already?"

"They're mine," I confirmed. "No tests needed. You'll see once you see the boys."

"Damn it, Luke. You sure? You know what..."

"Enough," I growled. "They are mine. No more talk of the past. I want you to respect the mother of my children."

I heard him sigh on the other end of the line. "Okay. I trust you, Luke. It won't be easy accepting her back into your life, and ours for that matter, but I'm going to try for you and my nephews. I loved Liv too, and her betrayal hurt us all."

"Thank you. That's all I ask."

"Twins..." He muttered. "Wow..."

"Oh, and keep this to yourself for now. Ethan doesn't know yet."

Jason chuckled. "Good luck with that."

I groaned. "anyways, why did you call me?"

"Well, since you're a father of twin boys now, maybe you can give me some pointers once my own set of twins are here?"

I chuckled. "Sure. When do you guys find out about the gender?" I asked.

"Hopefully at our next visit."

"I'm excited for you little bro."

"Thanks. Listen, I'll let you go. I just called to ask how you are doing, and to invite you over, but I guess it's gonna have to wait."

"Yeah. Let's set a date once I'm back and settled. We're flying back this morning."

"Okay. Let me know if you need anything."

"Will do. Thanks for the call, and say hi to Zarah for me."

"Will do. Later, man."

"Bye," I said, before ending the call.

I suddenly heard the twins over the monitor.

I smiled and grabbed my overnight bag and carried it with me out to the living room, before heading to greet the twins a good morning.

I walked out and found the twins on their high chairs, while Livie fed them.

"Looks yummy," I said, as I walked into the room.

The boys squealed and laughed in delight at the sound of my voice.

They immediately waved their arms up for me to take them.

I smiled. "You guys better finish what your mommy's feeding you," I said, even though I wanted to take them into my arms.

"Daddy's right. You guys have two more bites to go, and I think daddy would like to take his turn in feeding you boys," Livie said, offering me the baby food in her hands.

I smiled at her gratefully. "You just want to see if Jarred will throw his food at me," I teased.

She chuckled. "How did you know?" She said.

I laughed. "You're evil," I joked. "Now I know who Jarred takes after."

She laughed. "Still you..."

"Says you," I retorted.

"Will you just finish feeding them please," she said.

"Yes, ma'm," I said.

"Alright. You feed them, and I'll get the rest of their things ready."

"Are we taking the playpen and everything with us?" She asked.

I nodded. "If you like them we can take them with us. I had Gina order and deliver it for me here. If you don't like it, we can leave it here and buy something else."

"No they're great. Let's keep them. Besides, we need them at your house don't we?"

"For the time being. I'm not sure if the boys' room is ready by the time we get there. I mean, I asked Gina to get the basics. I figured you would want to be the one to decide what their room would look like. And I assume you would want to choose the furnitures as well?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Thanks. I still want them in the same room."

I nodded. "Of course. You have carte blanch on their room. I want us to shop together though. Then you can make changes on the whole house, as you see fit," I said.

"I love your house," she said.

I smiled. "You gave it your touch and made it a home," I said.

"You didn't change it back to the way it was?" She asked in surprise.

I shook my head. "I loved the changes you made," I admitted.

Her expression gave nothing away. Whether she was pleased to hear that, or not... I don't know.

I felt a jolt of something that I knew was dangerous, at Lucas' words.

I'm still battling with myself. I know I said that I was willing to try and work things out with Lucas, but I cannot help but still feel like I'm making a mistake and that there is another way for us to be there for our boys, without being together.

When Lucas says things like that, old feelings and the love I have for him, just threatens to burst open. But then the fear of getting burned again, also resurfaces.

I feel so confused, and this whole back and forth thing with my feelings, are becoming too much.

It's so easy to be taken by his words. I want to believe that we can work things out. I don't ever want to go back to that horrible night when my world upended.

The truth is, I know that there is no stopping myself when it comes to what I feel for Lucas, so I am just hoping and praying that all the uncertainty and fears will lessen and desipate with time.

I still have a month before we get married. I have that time to work through my issues and hopefully learn to forgive Lucas for not being there when I needed him most.

A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts.

"Livie?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you ready? The driver has taken our things to the car and is ready to take us to the airport."

"I'll be right out."

"Okay," I heard him say.

I grab my bag and headed out the door.

"Hey, ready to go?" Lucas asked as I walked into the living room. He had the twins in his arms.

"Yeah. Ready," I said.

"Let's go."

The drive to the airport wasn't as tensed as I thought it would be. Thanks to the boys. A part of me felt a pinch of excitement at the thought of living with Lucas again, and trying to work things out between us. On the other hand, another part of me dreaded the thought of things not working out, and the past coming back to mess everything up.

I had spent the last two years being angry and hurt that I had forgotten how much I loved Lucas... How much I still love him. I'm scared because this time, he's with me, not because he loves me, but because he wants to do the right thing for the twins.

He claimed to love me then, and yet, it was so easy for him to toss me aside. If he could do that while he claimed to love me, what more now, when he feels nothing for me?

His private jet was just as I remembered. It was spacious and comfortable. Definitely better than flying coach.

"Why don't you recline your seat, and relax," he said, as he sat beside me after putting down the twins for their nap.

"Did the boys give you a hard time?" I asked.

He shook his said and grinned. "Nah. I put them down and gave them their bottle, and they were satisfied."

I smiled.

Damn it. Don't cry, Olivia. Not in front of him!

What is the matter with you?

I seem to be an emotional mess around Lucas.

One moment, I'm angry at him and the next, I'm awed by him, then the next, I want to weep because of him...

"Are you okay, Livie?" He asked breaking through my thoughts.

I nodded. "I'm fine." If only I can stop myself from remembering everything about the past, I thought to myself.

Does he trust me now? If not, can he ever trust me?

If I try to tell him again the truth now, will he listen to me this time?

He didn't believe me then. Why would now be any different?