Dear Amelia,

Day the I left you, I kissed you on your cheek. Do you remember that? It was a friendly kiss, nothing more. But I remember it because of the way your brown eyes lit up and then you couldn't stop blushing afterward.

I remember how hot it was outside my hotel room where you — against your father's wishes — had come to tell me goodbye.

There was a double swing in the yard and we sat down next to each other, swinging lazily, unspoken words floating between us while palm trees surrounded us, giving us the seclusion we desperately wanted. A quiet place away from your father's prying eyes.

You eventually confided in me, telling me about your dreams to become a doctor. You didn't know then that you'd go into pediatrics. You just knew that you wanted to save people, to stop them from dying.

We spoke mostly about you and your life. Now I have all these bits and pieces of you that I could hold on to. I wanted to know everything about you and I don't regret that.

But sometimes I fear that you may not have these bits and pieces of me to hold on to because I hadn't opened up.

I should have told you more about me and my family and why I was leaving you so soon. I never brought Pieter up because I didn't want to take away from your grief, didn't want to make it all about me since Pieter's death had taken place about seven months prior.

The birth of his son however weighed heavy on me and made me realize how much I still missed him. That I was still grieving him. It's been seven years since he passed and I still miss him.

I still miss you.

I've told you before that I'm ready to take our relationship to the next level. I want you to be my wife in every sense of the word.

I want to cuddle next to you on the couch while we binge watch one of your reality shows. What do you like? The Bachelor? Married at First Sight? Ninety-Day Fiance? Or maybe you're not into reality shows at all. What about the show Lost? Have you seen that one? The Good Wife? Game of Thrones?

I want our marriage to be easy. Easy to love each other and easy to forgive one another when we mess up. I want to learn how you like to make your coffee in the morning. I want to come home to your calming presence every day and kiss you whenever I feel like it. I want to value you and be faithful to you, but you're not making it easy for me.

I met a woman. Her name is Jessie. She's pretty. Different. Funny.

I'm not telling you this to hurt you but it's been six years and I'm tired of waiting in the wings. I need more. The least you could do is answer my letters.

I met Jessie at a start-up convention where I was one of the speakers. She'd lost her job as a teacher after getting into a row with a parent for abusing their daughter and was looking to start her own business.

I've taken her out to dinner. Nothing happened but being with her made me want you here. Next to me. On the beach. In my bed. In my car on our way to work. In our kitchen cooking together.

I'm afraid this is the last letter I will be writing to you. The ball is in your court, Amelia. You're twenty-three now, you're not a kid anymore. I'm sure you can handle being married to me while you're in medical school.

I'm not even asking for a lot. You don't have to move in with me. I just want to hear your voice and see you from time to time until you've finished studying.

Maybe you've moved on and you're unsure how to tell me. The thought of you with another man kills me, but I'd rather know the truth so I can move on with my life as well.

I'm sexually frustrated and I know that hanging out with Jessie is not a good idea. The chemistry is there and I haven't felt this way about a woman in a long time.

I don't want to feel that way about another woman. I want to want you, the woman I'm married to.

And what if we've waited this long and the chemistry between is none existent? Everything I feel for you is in my head. I have no real basis for wanting to be with you. Our conversations were good and I loved your personality, but that was six years ago. You're a different woman now. And I, a different man.

I have a lot of love to offer and there's no question that I will treat you right. I can't promise you that all of our days will be good. That I won't mess up. I'm hoping that you're open to growing and learning together.

I won't be writing you again. Take care, my love. I'm proud of everything you've accomplished so far. I'm sure your mother is too.

Your father said he'd been forwarding my letters and that you've chosen not to answer them. If you want to continue hearing from me, you have to reach out. Otherwise, your continued silence will tell me everything I need to know.

I would do anything to hear your laugh right now. To smell your hair. To touch your face. Kiss your lips. Hold your hand.

I can't do any of those things without your consent. Send me a bat signal, anything, and I'll come running. No hesitation.

Your stranger, your husband,

Love,

Willem.

💌💌💌