I watch Lordes drive off the black SUV with a very upset Marianne sitting at the back, until it dissapears out of sight. This is all Stephanie's fault. She couldn't keep her mouth shut for once. Shit!

She and Ben are well suited for each other. Both fond of running their mouths loosely, unnecesarily.

I was going to tell Marianne about Claire myself, i made that decision last night. I was going to find the best moment sometime later tonight when we were alone to tell her everything, just like she did with me last night, but now all that has been ruined for me, i don't even know what Steph told her, all i know is whatever it was got her to be weary of me a little, and the idea of her being afraid of me just fucks me up.

I turn around and walk back into the house. I will have to deal with that later, i have to keep a clear head in order to deal with this job now.

*

"Hey, are you ok?" Eva asks, pulling a jacket over herself as we walk to the driveway, three hours later.

"Yeah i am fine, why?" I shrug unconvincingly.

"Are you sure? You have been abit distracted all night." she observes.

"It's been a long day" i respond, hoping she will drop the matter.

"Ahh, right"

"Honestly, i just want to go home and be alone right now"

"Trouble in Paradise already? We could get a drink and talk about it if you want....I could give you some girl advise"she offers.

I smile at that, briefly contemplating her offer, but it's very late and i am tired. And frankly speaking, i don't want to talk to anyone but Marianne right now.

"Thanks, but maybe another time" i say and get into my car, immediately driving off.

The idea of going home to an empty apartment is depressing. Lordes shot me a text almost immediately he left with Marianne to tell me she asked to be dropped off at her own place. I contemplate driving to her place but decide against it. Maybe we both just need a moment to calm down and regroup.

Later, sleep is hard to come by as i toss around in bed all night. The last couple of nights have been heaven next to my Mary. This is almost unbearable.

*

It's a lazy sunday morning and i am sitting on my sofa flipping through the tv channels looking for something 'interesting' to watch.

"Are you coming?" Luke asks again. He has been trying to get me to go outdoors with him all morning, but i am not feeling up to it or anything.

I shake my head.

"Whatever, when you are done sulking, you know where to find me" He mutters angrily.

I know i am being a bit unfair to him, but i don't want to leave the apartment in case Angelo shows up.

I grab my phone and look at the screen for the millionth time.

No new messages.

I admit i didn't want to talk to him last night but i was sure he would call or come by later, but he hasn't. And it's like the more time passes, the more restless i become.

Is he even ok? Maybe something's wrong and he is unable to get in touch with me....I should just swallow my pride and call him right? even if he scolded me like a child yesterday.

What do i do?

I miss him. It's sunday and tomorrow we will both have work and i know i will regret not spending time with him today when i had the chance.

*

I watch the clock hit noon and finally convince myself to go to Angelo's apartment. I can't take it anymore.

His apartment building, like everything else around town today is quiet and peaceful, typical of a sunday. The lift goes up and opens with a ding, and i walk into the quiet hall to his door.

*

Eva and a couple of my other colleagues just left my place about an hour ago after concluding on the preliminaries of last nights case and i bury myself in more work to distract myself from thinking about personal matters.

I glance at my phone again and see that i still have no new messages or missed calls.

I pick up the damn device and check if it's working alright. There must be a reason i am not getting any new messages from Marianne, maybe i don't have service in here.

With my phone in my hand, something catches my eye on the surveylance monitor.

Marianne at the front door.

About damn time!

One more minute and i was going to lose my mind.

While i watch her let herself in, i send her a one word text to let her know where exactly i am in the house.

She has her phone in her hand and immediately looks up after checking the message, as if trying to see where the camera is and i smile at her cuteness, an effortless smile for the first time today. Even my whole body has finally started to relax.

There is so much we need to put out on the table, so much we need to admit to each other before our relationship can move forward. Otherwise, this casual approach we have going on is not fooling anyone, especially on my part. My feelings for her have never been casual.

"Hey" She whispers by the door after two brief knocks.

"Hi" I lean back against the chair and watch her slow walk towards me. As soon as she reaches the desk, i stand up.

"Is this a bad time...you look busy" She says softly.

"Honestly, i could't really concetrate" I confess with a chuckle, rubbing the back of my neck.

She nods understandably.

"Can we talk then?" she asks quietly.

"Yeah, sure...." i walk towards the sofa in my office and sit down, motioning for her to join me.

She sits down next to me and turns so that we are facing each other and looks down nervously.

Her hand grabs mine sudennly and immediately, i interlace our fingers. Fuck the awkwardness, i missed her so damn much, so before she can start talking, i lean forward and kiss her gently, deepening the kiss, when she responds.

"Angelo, let me get this out first" She pulls back with a chuckle. I let her catch her breathe, while i rub her lower lip with my thumb.

"Uhhmm, i wanted to tell you that, i am sorry about yesterday, You were right, i should have talked to you and not listened to anybody else" she confesses and i sigh.

"Look, i am sorry i flipped out..i could have handled that alot better for both of us" I admit, pressing my forehead against hers.

"It's just a sore subject for me and there is alot of shit people think they know but they actually don't and i would have prefered for you to hear everything from me first" i explain.

" You are right...am really sorry Angelo...." she frowns.

"It's ok babe... it wasn't your fault really... I am just glad you are here now. I missed you so much" i brush her hair off her face and hug her back when she embraces me.

"You don't have to tell me anything right now. I didn't know i was ready to talk to you about my past until i did and i didn't feel any pressure from you before. I don't want you to feel like you have to get even just because i opened up" she says lowly

I smile.

"I think i am the last person you need to worry about succumbing to peer pressure." I chuckle.

"Yeah, good point" she laughs too.

"Believe it or not, i was going to tell you tonight" i say seriously.

"Then tell me tonight" she responds.

We hug again, feeding off each others energy.

"I had the worst night ever without you, couldn't sleep for hours" She complains against my shoulder.

"Me too" I chuckle.

We share a comfortable silence that is only broken by an angry rumble from my hungry stomach.

"When was the last time you ate?" she asks, breaking into a giggle without breaking our embrace.

"I had some coffee for breakfast" i confess.

"Angelo!! It's 2pm........I'll go make you something to eat" she says with a frown and stands up.

"Ok, I will just finish up here real quick and join you in a bit"

*

Flipping my laptop closed, i get up and walk to the kitchen, the aroma of food intensifying as i near the room. Damn, i am so hungry it's making me light headed, how did i not realise this.

"I was just about to come get you."she smiles when she sees me sit down by the counter.

As i watch her serve the food, a thought that i have been playing around with in my head recently becomes even more clear to me now.

But i will ask her after the meal.

As we eat, she asks me questions about last night and i answer as much as i can without preemptying on a proffesional matter.

"That was amazing as usual. Thank you" i say, as i pick up our plates and take them to the sink.

"You are welcome. I think i love cooking for you" She smiles, picking up something fom the fridge.

"Ohh yeah?" i think about how to say what i want to say next.

"Marianne?" i watch her.

"Mmhhhmm" She responds, placing a plate of desert infront of me and i stare at the plate.

"Would you like to move in with me?"

Damn, i don't know why i feel so nervous.

"What?" she murmurs.

"Move in with me. I think it would make alot of sense for both of us, don't you think? We both admitted we had the worst night apart. Plus, it would be convinient considering both our work schedules. " i mumble, hoping i am making a good case, but the gobsmacked look on her face is discouraging.

"Angelo....we....we haven't been seeing each other that long.....we don't even know each other that well" she argues.

"We know enough....the rest we will get to find out with time." i hold her gaze.

"I can't.... " She utters and i feel my heart sink.

"Why? " i ask right away.

I thought she cared about me and that our connection was solid and growing with time.

"I just think maybe, it's too soon, you know"

" What's the time limit for you then? When is it enough to take things to the next level?" I feel like if we don't do this, we would be moving backwards as a couple. This is the right thing.

"Angelo...." her face falls. She is clearly not for the idea and it tells me all i need to know.

"Maybe you don't want to be with me" i accuse. It's a low blow and i know it.

" You know that's not true" She pouts.

" Look, am sorry, for springing this on you like this.......i just thought we were on the same page and that you felt the same way.......but maybe i am getting a little ahead of myself.....just forget i asked" i shrug, digging my spoon into the desert.

"Can i think about it atleast....."

"What's the point? If you don't want to do it...it's fine, i get it." i say without looking up.

I stare down at the desert, not feeling liking eating it anymore.

"Angelo.....give me some time, please. ...it's a big deal for me" she comes to stand by me.

"Ok, how much time?" I like things to have a timeframe.

"I don't know, a couple of days" she utters and i glare at her.

A couple of days? that's too much. What is there to even think about? She either wants to live with me or not.

"Angelo!" she glares back and i curve. Sighing in defeat.

"Ok......i just want to be with you all the time" i murmur.

"Me too"

*

After lunch, Angelo asks if we can take a nap together, because he is feeling very tired, especially after not having slept much at night and having to wake up early for work despite it being a sunday.

so, we go upstairs, and i manage to change into a comfortable tshirt, after which i cuddle up in the bed next to him.

Angelo must have been really burned out, because he passes out like a light within minutes, but i continue to run my fingers through his hair and pull on his sculp gently, while his arms wrap tightly around my waist.

In the comfortable silence, i go over what we discussed earlier.

He wants me to live with him!

I guess i should have seen it coming considering he never lets me take any of my things home from here.

I honestly feel conflicted, ofcourse i want to be with him all the time, but moving in? How does that even work?

When couples move in together, they split the rent and bills right? I can't afford a significant portion of what this place must cost, and i don't want to live with anyone for free.

And what happens when we fight, or break up, what if he kicks me out and i no longer have an apartment to go back to?

Ahhhh.

Even worse....What will my family think? Mom is very conservative, she would be really dissapointed to find out i was living with a man i wasn't married to. And i am only starting to mend my relationship with them, i don't want to give them a bad impression of me and jeopardize it.

Ahhh, Angelo! Why did you have to ask me this right now?

You are not making this easy for me, you crazy, unpredictable man that i love so much.

You have not even called me your girlfriend yet, and you ask me to move in with you. I mean........i know we are a couple, but i want to hear......

Wait....i love him.

I love him.

I look down at his sleeping form. He looks so peaceful and harmless when he is asleep. His facial hair is rubbing up against the skin on my torso where my shirt has risen up because he pushed his hands under my shirt to feel my skin.

I love how he is holding on to me, even in his state of sleep, as if for dear life, like a lifeline.

God help me, i am very much in love with him. I love him and i can't wait to tell him. That's my last thought before sleep finally consumes me too.