Tranquility.

Serene, sated, at peace, relaxed...........content.

That's how everything felt when i woke up this morning.

It's a feeling i am getting used to receiving every time i spend time with my little angel.

A feeling i have become addicted to.

That became very clear to me, as i watched her try to get out of bed carefully so not to wake me up, even though unknown to her, i have been awake for a few minutes already, needing to get up, but unable to leave her side just yet.

She picked up a towel and wrapped it around herself and took careful calculated steps to the bathroom. I almost felt bad at her predicament, she must be completely tired and worn out from a night of endless lovemaking, not that she was complaining.

I don't know why, but we couldn't get enough of each other, even when we went down to make a light meal, we were unable to keep our hands off each other, so we ate, watched the news and went back to bed.

My life can be suffocating sometimes, i work crazy hours because i am handling alot of business besides my law career, and my personal life hasn't been a piece of cake either, so many times i felt numb, just passing through it all.

But meeting Marianne has created a little bubble where i feel alive again, excited and energized about life.

Every moment we spend together is always better than the last, and last night was by far the best for me.

What i wouldn't give to stay home all day and just shut off the rest of the world from our little paradise.

And how i wish i had done just that, shut off the rest of the world from us, even if it was only going to be for a few more minutes of tranquility.

Because all it took was one phone call.

One phone call to burst me out of the bubble i am floating in and thrusting me back into the chaos that is my world.

The very last thing i expected today was to hear Claire's voice on the other end of the line.

"Claire??" i ask again in disbelief, the familiar sound of her voice coming off hestitant and unsure on the other end.

"Yeah, I know it's out of the blue, but....." she murmurs.

"Out of the blue?? It's been three years" i retort.

"I know, can we talk?" she asks.

I look at the bathroom door where Marianne just dissapeared off too.

"Ange?" Claire's voice brings me out of my thoughts.

"Hold on" I say and reach for some clothes.

I walk out of the bedroom and put the phone back to my ear again.

"Yeah"

"Listen, i am sorry, i know its been a while and it's out of the blue, but i wanted to talk to you, if that's ok" she utters slowly.

I make it down stairs and walk to the office without responding to her.

I run my fingers through my hair as i process this.

This has caught me by surprise. I tried for months to get in touch with her, but her family wouldnt let me see her, blaming me for how she chose to react to her problems and when i tried to talk to her on the phone when i did managed to get to her, she refused to talk to me.

And now out of the blue, she wants to talk.

What does she want?

"Ange, please say something"

"I am surprised, i wasn't expecting you" i say honestly, leaning against the edge of the desk , the arm not holding the phone going across my chest.

"Well, i am kind of down stairs too, can i come up?"

"You are here, in Hartford?"

"Yes"

Are you shitting me right now?" i growl into th phone.

"Language please...and no, i am not. I am already coming up, so it kind of doesn't really matter. I will see you in a few" she cuts the line.

Bossy, as always.

I am still trying to process what just happened when Marianne walks into the room, startling me a little bit.

Sudennly, i feel restless and confused.

Marianne notices my unease.

"Then what's wrong?" she asks again when i tell her my demeanor has nothing to do with our bathroom incident from moments ago.

"Nothing......that was...that was Claire on the phone. She's down stairs, coming up" i say, much quieter than i intended and watch her face for a reaction.

"Ohh, ok" she says, pulling the robe around her tighter.

"I wasn't expecting her obviously, but she is already here. I couldn't say no" I feel the need to explain.

"Yeah, yeah, ofcourse, i....i will give you some privacy then. I am going to go and....and change." she mumbles and turns around, taking fast steps towards the door.

"Okay" i say.

I sigh, taking quick strides and head to the door, my heart pumping fast, not sure exactly if it's from excitement or dread.

*

He stammered.

Angelo never stammers when he speaks. He is the most composed person i know.

This is serious i guess.

But what do i expect, it's Claire, the love of his life, of course it's serious.

I suddenly feel light headed and a tightness in my chest.

I walk quickly up the stairs not wanting to be find down here when she arrives, but i look down behind me when i get to the top of the stairs just in time to see Angelo walking to the apartment entrance.

I will him to look up at me, but he walks by fast, focused on the door and for some reason that feels like a stab in the heart.

A sign.

He still cares for her, and now she is back.

I walk into the bedroom and sit down on the bed.

My heart is beating fast.

What will happen now?

Is she back to stay, back for him?

I remember him telling me about her last night like he said he would, how their relationship was like and how it ended.

There was alot of difficult things going on in her life, and unfortunately she usually resorted to self harm as a way to deal with it, but after her suicidal incident, she and her family moved away and the two never got the chance to end things between them officially, which according to him, made it even harder to move on because he still cared for her alot and hoped they would have a chance to be together again despite everything.

"But that is in the past. I am happy with where i am in my life right now, and i am ready to move on, with you" he had said last night.

Neither one of us saw this coming, so will he change his mind?

Sighing, i stand up and walk to the section of the closet where the clothes i leave behind are kept.

After a few minutes of shuffling through my limited choices, i decide i don't like the options i have to work with, especially today being a monday.

I end up spending more time trying to make a good combination with what i have and frown in frustration and resignation at my final conclusion.

I wonder what's going on downstairs.

Is it a happy reunion full of hugs and kisses, or an awkward encounter?

I swallow hard and pick up all my things, putting them in a bag again, and walk out of the bedroom.

I feel increasingly nervous as i descend the stairs, not knowing what exactly to expect. I reach the hall and listen for voices.

I realise i can hear talking coming from the living room but i hesitate to go there.

They probably still need some privacy, right?

Angelo has a history with her and i respect that.

But if i leave without saying goodbye, wouldn't it be rude?

So i move closer to the entrance with the intention of walking in, but from my position in the hall, i see Angelo sitting on the sofa, next to him is who i presume to be Claire, in a nude colored dress that goes down to her feet, but with a long slit, leaving her crossed thighs exposed. Her hair is hanging in loose curls around her shoulders.

They are sitting slightly facing each other, and Angelo is holding her fingers that are resting on his knee.

I memorise the scene in my mind for a second and turn around.

"Creeping?" a voice echoes from someone approaching me and i nearly pass out in fright, causing me to gasp.

I am not expecting anybody else to be in the house, so placing my hand over my heart on my chest, i take a deep breath.

"Alexis!" i breathe out, recognising the 'intruder'.

"Easedropping?" she asks with a coy smile.

My gasp must has been loud enough because Angelo walks over to us, followed by his Ex before i can respond to her.

"Whats going on here" he asks, his eye brows furrowing.

"I just caught h......." Alexis starts to explain, but i cut her off.

"I wanted to say goodbye, i need to get to work" i say quickly.

He drops his eyes to the bags in my hand but doesn't say anything.

"Hello" i say, looking over his shoulder to his companion.

"Uhhmm, this is Claire.....Claire, Marianne" he steps aside to introduce us.

I finally get a good look at her and she is every bit as pretty as i expected.

She is taller than me, though still significantly shorter than Angelo and even though she is abit more slender than me, she is very well proportioned with a fuller bust.

I pick that up from her body hugging dress and i feel even more awkward about my plain outfit, not that my outfit choices have ever bothered me much before today.

"Nice to me you" i force a smile as her blue eyes stare back at the blue of my own.

"Marianne, it's great to finally meet you, i have heard quite a bit about you" she gives me a super friendly smile, extending her nicely manicured hand to me in greeting.

As we shake hands, she places her other hand on Angelo's shoulder.

"So have i" i respond just as friendly.

"Well, i was just on my way out, i will see you later" i glance at Angelo.

"Right, give me a minute, i will have someone take you" he pulls his phone out of his pocket.

"No need, someone is coming already, thank you" i lie, and try to sound lighthearted in my delivery, a complete contrast from how i really feel inside.

"Who?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Luke" i say the first name that comes to mind.

"Right" he replies flatly.

"Bye, it was nice to meet you Claire, Alexis" i give them both a friendly glance before leaving

As soon as the elevator doors close on my way down, i let go of a breathe i didn't even know i was holding.

For the first time ever since i have been coming here, there are two other people in the lift, so i situate myself at the back.

I feel my heart break. Literally.

I can't do this.

I seriously can't deal with whatever this is going to be.

She was so friendly with him and he let her.

Was i a seat filler?

What was I thinking getting involved with Angelo in the first place, i mentally scold myself, as i stare at my reflection in the mirror on my left and notice my eyes are turning red and puffy with withheld tears.

You are so stupid Marianne!!!

Why did you have to go and fall in love with him you fool.

And now i am scared, scared to loose him, scared it's over, i admit as i tear finally drops down my cheek and i look down.

*

"Still not picking up" Nick asks, as he watches me remove the phone from ear as i stare out of the glass wall of his office building onto the city.

"Yes" i sigh, putting the phone back into my pocket.

"She is probably just busy, give her some time, am sure she will call you back" he responds, trying to reassure me, but i find it irritating.

I am not stupid, she can't be that busy to pick up any one of the four fucking phone calls i have made over the course of the morning or even send me a text in acknowledgement or something.

She is avoiding me, period.

Probably went running to Luke's waiting arms.

I swear if i hear that guys name one more fucking time, i will find a way to get him out of town.

"I didn't realise you two where that serious" he adds.

I turn around and face him, as he studies me.

"I asked her to move in with me" i confess.

He watches me for a second and then burst out laughing.

"Wow, just wow" he continues to laugh shamelessly.

"What's so funny?" My frustration hits unprecedented heights, as i rub the back of my neck.

"You, i mean, wow! all those rules and walls that you had built up around you, they didn't stand a single chance with her did they?" He asks humorously and i move to sit down opposite him, throwing my head on the back of the chair.

"Aaron and Marco should hear this, this is good" he adds another chuckle.

"I am glad to see my situation is a source humor to you" i frown.

"Ok...ok. So let me ask you this, let me get this straight. If You had not met Marianne and Claire came back like she has, would you want to get back together with her?" he asks seriously.

"If i had not met Marianne? Yes, probably, i think. I still care for her, i always will, we were somewhat problematic, but what we had was something special, you know that. And you of all people can probably relate"I insinuate his initial issues with Ally before finally getting to a good place.

"Shit, so what now?" he frowns, identifying a dilemma.

"To tell you the truth, as corny as it may sound, with Marianne, it's like i am seeing things from a whole new point of view.

We have an amazing connection Nick, and it makes everything in my life feel so different. Somehow every conversation we have, every moment we spend together, hell, even the sex is not just sex with her, it's on another level.

And even though she is alot younger in comparison, i find her more mature than any woman i have ever been with before.

I like that she is independent, her own person, who thinks she doesn't need anybody to takecare of her, even though that also drives me crazy half the time." i smile.

"And Claire? Isn't she here to stay"

"She is. I admit, i was a very surprised to hear from her, happy even to see her, especially after i spent a long long time wanting her back." The image of her earlier this morning comes to mind and i admit she is even more beautiful and attractive than the last time i saw her. She was glowing, and looked like she was in a good head space.

"We have both changed i think, but i don't know if that is enough to make it work again and i don't want to focus on something with so many doubts surrounding it" i admit.

"Well, i hope you are sure about that. And make sure the two of you are on the same page, otherwise you have a problem on your hands"

"Look, one thing is for sure, I want Marianne, i have no doubt about that. I can't imagine losing her right now. I want to see where this relationship is going," i say with a conviction that surprises even me.

Nick stares at me with goofy smile.

"What?"

"You are in love with her" he says.

"Marianne? No! Ofcourse not, i care about her, alot, and yes i feel a special kind of way about her, but it's not love" i deny.

I don't do love.

I mean, i know i have deep feelings for her, care, desire, concern for her wellbeing etc, but i am not in love with her. It's a whole different thing, and thats not where i am at, i am sure of that too.

"What ever helps you sleep at night" Nick snorts, as his secretary comes to collect us for our meeting, breaking the therapy session.