A/N. Hey guys...thank you ALL so much for following my story and for your great feedback and votes....Truly appreciate it...I want to dedicate this chapter to @Sadykay & @Kryshasopia....... Xoxoxo.

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"I think i want to propose to Marianne" I say nonchalantly, as i toss around the stress ball in my hands against the wall, my feet up against the edge of Nick's office desk.

"What? Again? What's it going to be now, a fourth time?" He chuckles.

"Third!" I mutter.

Nick laughs.

"C'mon the girl has already said no twice, didn't you just propose to her the other day?" He Snickers.

"It's been over two fucking years. Exactly one year since the last time i asked" I grumble to his amusement.

"I thought this is what you always wanted, you know..You hated marriage... Shall i remind you of what you always used to say?"

"I know what i said....but that was a long time ago, and it's different now, isn't a man allowed to change his mind?" I ask rhetorically.

"Well....you were pretty adamant.. besides, didn't you say you will never ask her again after that public rejection you got? So why now?"

"I swear if she introduces me to someone as her boyfriend one more fucking time, I will hurt someone" I seethe, and this time Nick burst out laughing.

"Well are you not her boyfriend?"

"It just sounds so......I don't know, like we are teenager's playing house....I feel like it demeans the significance of our relationship...I hate it. We are more than that, we are life partners, and i want to be addressed as that." I confess.

"It's just titles, didn't you always say that?"

"Don't remind me of what i fucking said years ago...You ain't no saint, didn't you change?........ It's just so irritating...and i swear, i think she just does it to annoy me." I mumble.

"So what exactly is she supposed to introduce you as then"

"Well, if she would only accept my propose, i would be her husband. We are literally married. Sometimes i feel like she is doing this to punish me" I whine.

"I don't see what the big deal is...it's not like she needs a ring to keep men from coming on to her or something...everyone already knows she is your woman, and no one would dare cross that line in fear of you, and like you said, you have kids, you live together..so what's the big deal...?

"Yeah, that's easy for you to say...you are already married"

That pushes Nick into another fit of laughter.

"Are you serious right now .....You are complaining about not being married? You? This is too fucking good, i need to record this" he mumbles between laughter.

"Knock knock" Marco utters, walking into the room without waiting for an invitation.

"Good, you are here, you are late." Nick utters him.

"What's with the laughter?" Marco asks.

"And what's up with you?" He adds, noticing my somewhat downcast demeanor.

"Ohhh...he wants is to propose to Mary, again" Nick supplies bursting into another fit of laughter.

"No shit!! Again??? What's this going to be now, the fourth time?"

"Third!!! Fuck!" I snap standing up.

Marco laughs.

"Well i enjoyed the last one..very entertaining....what was meant to be Mary's surprise turned out to be a surprise for all of us...If it happened to anyone else, it would have been a sad and unfortunate situation, but to you, it was classic, Mr, 'I don't do love shit!' or 'If i ever fall in love like that, kill me'. "

"Actually, he said 'Hang me' " Nick corrects him.

" Oh yeah, I am the one that said 'smack me'.....ohh, good times, good times.....I like Marianne, she definitely brings you down a notch." Marco utters humorously.

A/N: You will find this conversation in the Epilogue for' Only for You'. It happened during the party at Nick's house.

I start to walk out the door in fustration.

I seriously can't believe these guys are making a joke out of my feelings.

"Oh, c'mon...it's just a joke, it's a joke" Marco mumbles, standing infront of the door.

"When did you get so sensitive?...." He goads.

"Whatever, Nick are you coming to the wedding?" I ask at the door.

"Yep, wait, are you really leaving?" He asks, getting serious again.

"Yeah, i will see you there then" I say, before i walk out of the door.

*

After a couple more hours at work, i drive back home, enjoying the slow movement of the traffic. I am alone in the car, Eli and AJ behind me.

I don't know if it's because i am attending a wedding today, or the fact that's it's the anniversary of what should have been my engagement day with Marianne, but i am feeling very low today.

The twins turned two years old four months ago. I would say my relationship with their mother, has been fairly well. Great infact. And maybe there is even no need for me to want to shake the boat when things are going so well.

I don't even know why this has become such a big deal to me today, but it's been on my mind since morning.

I feel like it would give the kids the stability they need. It would also be an expression of our love, our commitment to each other. I just don't know if I should try again, or just be content with how things are right now.

I sigh, and turn a corner, leaving the heavy traffic.

Honestly, i don't think i could handle another rejection.

The last time i proposed is exactly one year ago today. Seeing as my first proposal was very basic, and turned out quite emotional, i thought maybe the fact that i went with a simple plan, contributed to it, so the next time, i went big.

Flowers, lights, music, i invited our close family and friends, and then did a surprise proposal. She was supposed to say yes and everyone would come out off hiding. Instead i was the one that got the surprise of my life, as everyone basically watched me get rejected from a distance.

In her defence, she didn't know everyone was there, but it's just as well, because the worst that could have happened was for her to say yes, just because everyone was there and she didn't want to embarrass me. Anyway, she said that she liked the way things were and that we should date a little while longer.

Unlike the first one, that one hurt me more that i could express, but i still respected and accepted her decision, especially remembering that that used to be my choice too once upon a time.

Now i am wrestling with the thought whether the past year is enough of ',a little while longer', Or if i should just leave things as they are. We are fine, happy. My work is balanced, Marianne is out saving the world, one article and charity event at a time... Everything is great.

It's just that i knew very quickly in our relationship that that what we shared was something special, and like i do with my businesses, i act fast when i am sure of something....Marianne on the other hand, she likes to take her time, too much time, sometimes. So finding that balance between our two traits is hard sometimes. But it's always worth it.

And just like i knew from early on, my feelings for her have not changed, infact, if they have only grown, grown stronger. Our lives now are so entangled with each other, you couldn't remove one without destroying the other.

So maybe i should just let things be as they are.

Or try one last time.

Damn, her indecision is rubbing off on me.

I turn another corner and drive into the lane leading to our home.

)

I hold the ring up to her and look at her anxiously and expectantly.

What i expect to see on her face is surprise and then excitement.....but that's not the expression on her face.

Ohh shit! Did i read the moment wrong?

Marianne bites her lower lip, her face suddenly drained of all color. The look on her face is......dread...it's definitely dread.

My mouth goes dry, and i feel my stomach churn.

"Marianne??"

"...Are you serious?" She asks softly.

"Ofcourse i am serious...."

I clear my throat.

I have a ring in my hand. Doesn't this look real? It's a very fucking expensive ring at that.

"......I have been meaning... planning to ask you for a while now, just waiting for the right moment....please tell me this is the right moment.....it felt right....is this a bad moment?" I ask unsurely.

"I just thought you didn't want to ever get married" she replies.

" I know... I know.....but that's something i decided long before you showed up...but i want to be married to you" I say.

I drop my hand and rest both knees on the floor.

This is not going very well. I thought she would be happy.

"I thought this is want you wanted.... it's what i know i want....I don't think i have ever truly loved before...not like this...and it made me realise that when something is this good, this right...we should own it in all it's entirety....." I confess.

"I am sorry, i am really surprised, because you were so adamant" she murmurs.

"I can see that? I am sorry, is this a bad proposal? Should i have done this differently? Maybe something more.... fitting, I don't know, something more extravagant perhaps, I didn't think it was your thing? I just thought that you would want something simple...We had such a great day and i thought this would be a good way to remember it by...but i fucked up right..? I can see you don't like this.. I could do it again.. differently...Shit! This is really bad?" I mumble like a fool.

" No... it's not that..this is nice" she says quickly.

"You are not just saying that to make me feel better right?"

"No" she chuckles, her face now full of color.

"Well? You haven't really answered my question?" I urge her.

"Oh..yeah....i am sorry.. i was just....."

"Surprised..I know" I chuckle.

I am pretty sure my hand is shaking by now, resting on my thighs.

She takes a deep breath and exhales.

"Angelo.....is this what you really want?" She asks and it's not the response i was expecting.

Shouldn't she be saying yes already?

"I love you...I want to spend the rest of my life as your husband, and you as my wife....I have never wanted anything more in my life Marianne, so yes ..this is what i want..... I thought you would be happy....I thought it's what you wanted too." I admit.

"It it....It is....someday.....but right now........"

"Someday?"

"I just think that it's too soon, and we are not ready for that" she says abit more firmly and her confidence feels like a slap to my face.

"I sit back on my heels and face her from that angle.

"What do you mean?"I ask softly, after clearing my throat.

"After everything that just happened, do you really believe that the best thing for us is to get married right now?" She asks.

"Yes. I believe that with everything inside of me. There is only going up from him babe. I know it...I feel it in my bones..this is what i want...and it's what i believed you always wanted too." I say.

"It is..but you and me need some time to...." I stand up at those words and she stops talking. Staying silent for a while.

"I mean, everything happened so fast between us. And the past six months were trying on both of us...and we just had the twins... I just think that our relationship needs to breath and develop first before taking on another huge step." She says.

"Breath? What does that even mean? We live together, we have children together....we love each other....develop what?" I ask huskily.

" Look, for once, can we just take things a step at a time. I am still trying to balance my life after all these changes, and whether we like it or not, having the twins has changed the whole dynamic of our relationship, and it means that we can't afford to make anymore mistakes or make impulsive decisions without developing some sort of stability in our relationship first, because that will not only affect us, but them too in the long run.... Quite frankly, the best i can do right now, what i think we should be focusing on is to make things work for the kids. I mean, despite everything that is going on, I am here trying to figure things out, because we owe it to our them to make this work...and getting married on top of everything is.......... ." She mumbles endlessly, and honestly, i don't even know what we are talking about anymore, but her words feel like another slap to my face.

" 'Owe it to our kids to make this work'? Is that why you are here with me now? Trying to make it work for our kids?" I ask quietly.

It sounds like i was never really forgiven in the first place.

"That's not what i meant" she says, standing up too now.

"I am sorry i asked....I genuinely believed that this would make you happy. Because from the bottom of my heart, nothing will make me happier than to have you as my wife. I know i have made alot of mistakes..."

"Angelo i didn't mean......." She whispers.

"......and put you through a lot......but i can't take it back no matter how much i wish i could, and i don't know how to fix it either....how to make things better for you..and maybe you are right....maybe i am getting ahead of myself, again.... It's just that i remember you saying marriage was important to you...and i genuinely thought i could do that for you now..but not just for you, but for me too...and also for the kids. But i am sorry if this decision seems selfish on my part.... Please forget i asked." I say.

The room goes quiet and it becomes evident, any plans for a romantic reunion has gone down the drain, along with my proposal.

I start to walk to the door.

"Look, if there is anyway i can do make things better for you, I would do it in a heartbeat Mary...... If you don't want to be here, you don't have to be. I don't want you to stay with me just because of our children....they deserve to grow up with a happy and healthy mother, and if that means not being with me, then i will support and respect that." I say sincerely, before walking out of the door and closing it gently.

In the corridor, I lean again the door and close my eyes, turning the ring in my hand between my fingers again.

What the hell just happened?

It's one thing to say no to a proposal, but it felt like she was rejecting our relationship too.

This has fucking killed my confidence in this relationship. The idea that she feels stuck and forced to make our relationship work because of the kids cripples me.

My parents for the most part stayed married because of us. Ben and Steph continued their loveless marriage because of Bella and Ivan, until their marriage broke down irrivocably. I know of numerous couples who stay in loveless marriages because of their children.

It's one of the reasons i never believed in marriage myself.

I have come across happily married couples too, but i considered them lucky to beat the odds.

However, i thought Marrianne and i were different. It felt different. It feels different.

And yet, we are not married yet, if she feels stuck already, then what chance do to we have? What are we even doing?

The thought cripples me, I lean more into the door and slide down into a squat on the floor.

I thought we were ok. But that conversation didn't feel ok.

I don't know what i am doing any more. I don't know what to do from here.

"Angelo?" I look up and see Lana.

"What's wrong? Is everything ok? Is Marianne ok?" She asks hurriedly, coming closer.

I stand up again.

"Everything is fine kid" I say, forcing a smile.

"Then why are there tears in your eyes?" She asks, her own eyes starting to glisten from seeing me this way.

I smile better, hopefully, convincingly.

"Something got into my eyes" I wink and pat her on the shoulder, quickly walking away before she engages me into any further conversation.

*

I knock twice on the door. Angelo's state has frightened me. I have never seen him like that before, and i want to find out from Mary what's going on.

I push the door open and walk in.

She is sitting on the bed and looks up when she hears me.

But she looks no better than Angelo, as she sits up, wiping away tears.

What is going on?

"Mary? What's wrong? Did you and Angelo have a fight?" I ask and she shakes her head, wiping her tears more rapidly.

"What is it then? I found Angelo sitting in the corridor in the same state as you. Please tell me, what's going on" I ask.

"Nothing for you to worry about..." she murmurs.

"Look at you.. how am i supposed not to worry" I respond.

"It's nothing... It's between me and your brother... Just forget about it."

"Are you two breaking up?" I ask quietly.

"Mary? Oh my god! You are breaking up?" I murmur tearfully.

"You two can't break up, not after everything you have been through together... You love each other.. I have never seen two people that deserve to be together more than you two.... What about the twins?" I mumble.

"Alana stop!.... It's not that.... please just let me go and find Angelo so we can figure this out ok....I need to dress up now. do you mind" she says.

I stand up hesitantly.

"You two better kiss and make up, otherwise i will never forgive either one of you" I mutter, quickly walking out.

*

I am left staring at the closed door again. I think about what Lana just said as i change into decent clothes.

And for the first time the thought crosses my mind.

Breaking up!

What would that look like? What would that be like? Would i be happy then? Peaceful?

I think about the last few minutes with Angelo and what a disaster it turned into.

I need to talk to him...I don't like the last things i said to him ...it came out wrong and i saw how much it really hurt him...seeing him hurt like that, was painful for me too.... i would rather stub myself a million times then ever hurt him like that again.

I leave the bedroom determined to find him.

"Hey, have you seen Angelo" I ask, when i find Mom, Selene and Lana in the baby's room.

"No...I thought you were with him" Mom answers.

"No....he just.....nevermind...thanks, goodnight" I say and walk away quickly forgetting to kiss my babies good night, even though i had already done so earlier.

Unlike the old apartment, this place is huge, and i can't find him anywhere. Eventually, i go back to our bedroom, and lie down onto of the bed.

In all my anger and hurt since the moment we met till now, i have never really considered breaking up with Angelo. Not really. I couldn't simply fathom the idea.

Looking back now, there are plenty of times i could have done it.

Like the time he moved me into his apartment without my permission first.

Or the time he got married...that was huge, and it affected us in so many ways.

Or just how my life changed to a point where i can't go outside on my own without being recognized or possibly targeted.

Maybe even a few weeks ago when he was trying to help Claire after what she did to us, what she did to him.